so47

By the time you get to the PhD level, grades are not the most important thing anymore, not by a long shot. Actually, it can be frowned upon, for reasons such as your "panic attack" after getting an A-. The programs generally don't give a crap about your grades as long as you don't get put on academic probation. They want you to be focused on research, and if you are the type of student who is freaking out about an A-, then you may wind up taking time away from your research to strive for A's, and honestly, programs do NOT want that. Probably the type of lesson your prof who wouldn't budge on the half a point from a A was trying to give you.

I think the grade-obsession is a very immature approach to grade school.You say your grades dropped this year because you took too much on, but do you expect less from grad school? If you are looking for a funded PhD, not only will you have the full load of classes, but you will probably be TA-ing and doing research too. The average work week in grad school is 6 days a week, and anywhere from 50-70 hours depending on the advisor.

And as you can tell from the reputation value this post has given you (in case you don't know what it is, the red number at the bottom right hand corner of your post), I think you REALLY need an adjustment in your priorities. This post came off as a narcissist who is being insecure and seeking validation from everyone that you are still wonderful. I am sure you are a great student and you didn't mean it that way, but still, that is how you are coming off to your peers, and could in the future to professors and other grad students. You need to build networking and relationships in your field, and honestly no one is going to want to listen to stuff like this.

So pretty much the overall message of my post is chill out! Get over the grade-obsession, because it's not going to get you anywhere in life. Re-taking the GRE's is not going to help you any more if you are already in 90th percentiles, A-'s are not going to kill you. The best thing you can do for yourself is chill out, and focus more on research in your MA, get more publications, and really make sure your recommendations and SOP are awesome. I am sure you will get in, just think you need to see the big picture more instead of obsessing on a 4.0.

To put it in perspective, in my undergrad I had a 3.65 GPA, 75-80th percentile GRE's, and I got into and am attending the #9 ranked program in my field, and an Ivy. What got me in was my 3+ years of academic and industrial experience, and stellar recommendations. So RELAX!

Here are some examples of ones that I sent. This first one is to my safety school, which I did not even visit:



This second one I put more effort into, because I really liked the school and the program, and wanted to keep it friendly since I will probably run into them sometime in the future:



I also sent personal letters to some of the faculty that I really liked at the second school, with a bit more detail and personal info.

Hope this helps!

What I wound up doing, and recommend to anyone still looking for roommates or housing, is I joined a hosuing list-serv through the DOS website. Once you have your netID/ Cornell email, you just have request to join the list, and they approve you. I immediately started getting TONS of emails daily from people looking for roommates, sublets, trying to fill apartments, etc.

Like you, my biggest dilemma was finding roommates, because I knew I wanted to live with other Cornell grads. And I think a lot of incoming grads are using this list-serv to find roommates, as it feels safer than craigslist since it is exclusive to the Cornell community.

So pretty much I got a bunch of emails from people looking for housing, and I really liked the sound of this one place, and started emailing back and forth with the girl, and we really seemed to click. And lucky for me, she is finishing up undergrad at Ithaca College, so she was able to do all the legwork with seeing the place, nailing down the lease, etc. This was HUGE for me since I had no idea if I was going to be able to make it up there to look at apartments. So it all just kind of fell together perfectly! I also was able to find the perfect July sublet through the list-serv as well, within hours of sending my email (I got llike 20 responses of people looking for subletters!)!

So I highly recommend the DOS list-serv. It might not happen that quickly for everyone, but it definitely gets a lot of activity and I think it's a very helpful and less sketchy way to find roommates! You can find it here, scroll down to where it says Need a roommate ? Click here to join our List-Serv (type "join in the subject line. Only open to members of the Cornell Community):
http://dos.cornell.edu/ocho/Graduate-Professional-Students.cfm

Hope this helps! Good luck

Here are some examples of ones that I sent. This first one is to my safety school, which I did not even visit:



This second one I put more effort into, because I really liked the school and the program, and wanted to keep it friendly since I will probably run into them sometime in the future:



I also sent personal letters to some of the faculty that I really liked at the second school, with a bit more detail and personal info.

Hope this helps!

Here are some examples of ones that I sent. This first one is to my safety school, which I did not even visit:



This second one I put more effort into, because I really liked the school and the program, and wanted to keep it friendly since I will probably run into them sometime in the future:



I also sent personal letters to some of the faculty that I really liked at the second school, with a bit more detail and personal info.

Hope this helps!

Here are some examples of ones that I sent. This first one is to my safety school, which I did not even visit:



This second one I put more effort into, because I really liked the school and the program, and wanted to keep it friendly since I will probably run into them sometime in the future:



I also sent personal letters to some of the faculty that I really liked at the second school, with a bit more detail and personal info.

Hope this helps!

I agree. The rankings are based on research. Top schools do better research. There are better researchers at the better schools who will be able to get me a job (better than at lower ranked schools).

Better retake that GRE and improve your GPA.

I am applying for Ph.D in chemistry (not M.S)
Firstly, I am an international candidate and selection procedure for int. applicants are at least 5 times more stringent than domestic applicants. So guys, please suggest widely. 2ndly, plzz suggest me 4 safe schools (98 % chance of getting admitted) after reading my scores, grades, field of interest, research exp. etc. THANK YOU in advance.

GRE: Verbal - 660, Quantitative - 750, Analytical Writing- 3.0
TOEFL: 106 out of 120 (speaking - 23 out of 30)
Sub GRE(Chemistry) - haven't appeared yet, will appear Nov. 2011( expected score around 75 percentile)
Research exp. - 5 months(thesis submitted), worked in theoretical phys. chem
Grades: 8.83 out of 10 ( decent,not excellent grades keeping in mind grades given in undergraduate level in Indian universities)
Field of interest: Physical Chemistry (not decided whether experimental or computational)
Letter of Recommendations: will not get excellent LoR's, rather receive decent ones.

PLZZ GUYS SUGGEST WISELY 4 SAFE SCHOOLS (98% CHANCE OF GETTING ADMITTED).

By the time you get to the PhD level, grades are not the most important thing anymore, not by a long shot. Actually, it can be frowned upon, for reasons such as your "panic attack" after getting an A-. The programs generally don't give a crap about your grades as long as you don't get put on academic probation. They want you to be focused on research, and if you are the type of student who is freaking out about an A-, then you may wind up taking time away from your research to strive for A's, and honestly, programs do NOT want that. Probably the type of lesson your prof who wouldn't budge on the half a point from a A was trying to give you.

I think the grade-obsession is a very immature approach to grade school.You say your grades dropped this year because you took too much on, but do you expect less from grad school? If you are looking for a funded PhD, not only will you have the full load of classes, but you will probably be TA-ing and doing research too. The average work week in grad school is 6 days a week, and anywhere from 50-70 hours depending on the advisor.

And as you can tell from the reputation value this post has given you (in case you don't know what it is, the red number at the bottom right hand corner of your post), I think you REALLY need an adjustment in your priorities. This post came off as a narcissist who is being insecure and seeking validation from everyone that you are still wonderful. I am sure you are a great student and you didn't mean it that way, but still, that is how you are coming off to your peers, and could in the future to professors and other grad students. You need to build networking and relationships in your field, and honestly no one is going to want to listen to stuff like this.

So pretty much the overall message of my post is chill out! Get over the grade-obsession, because it's not going to get you anywhere in life. Re-taking the GRE's is not going to help you any more if you are already in 90th percentiles, A-'s are not going to kill you. The best thing you can do for yourself is chill out, and focus more on research in your MA, get more publications, and really make sure your recommendations and SOP are awesome. I am sure you will get in, just think you need to see the big picture more instead of obsessing on a 4.0.

To put it in perspective, in my undergrad I had a 3.65 GPA, 75-80th percentile GRE's, and I got into and am attending the #9 ranked program in my field, and an Ivy. What got me in was my 3+ years of academic and industrial experience, and stellar recommendations. So RELAX!

So I was able to get a peek into some of the University Housing units when I was on campus last week. Here is my take:

Maplewood: Location is good. Very close to campus, and also very close to Collegetown area, so it would be good for those who want to have a social life. But the housing itself was in really small individual modular units, into which were crammed a 4 bedroom apartment. IMO, the living room is wayyyyy too small for that many people, didn't even look like there was room for a decent TV. Kitchen was okay, lots of cabinet space, but you are sharing it with 3 other people. The bedrooms were MICROSCOPIC! As in twin size bed, tiny dresser and a desk, and there was barely room to move. Literally just a small path around the bed.

Hasbrouck: Location wise, it's on the northwest border of campus, which appears to be a bit socially isolating (as others here at gradcafe had warned me). Lots of kids running around, so it was definitely obvious that there is a large number of families up there. But, I found the housing units to be more appealing. I looked at a 2-bedroom townhouse. The kitchen was very small (half-size stove) but seems adequate. The living room was much larger than Maplewood, with nice big windows. The bedrooms were a bit better here too. The "regular" sized bedroom is slightly bigger than the ones at Maplewood, and the larger bedroom is much bigger, even has a full/queen size bed.

So I am not sure what I am going to do at the point. My parents are really pushing me to live in the university housing so I don't have to deal with the "unknown" but I feel like I would have to choose Hasbrouck for the space, but am worried since my first year is the one I really want to try to be social! Yes there are buses, but from peeking at the TCAT schedules (correct me if I'm wrong) it looks like they don't run very late, so it doesn't look like that would be an option for weekend nights and such.

Ideally I would LOVE to find another female first year in my program to find off campus housing together, since it would be nice to live with someone going through the same thing as me! But, so far the people I met at visitation weekends have either decided to go elsewhere or have not yet decided. I'm thinking about emailing the admin after April 15th and asking if she could give me a list of the next year's first years so I can try to find someone else who might be interested in housing together.

I am so antsy! I just want to get my damn housing figured out so there is nothing left to worry about for next year!!!

As another fiercely anti-debt person, I would add that there are a lot of great state schools that are way cheaper than private ones, and would probably still be cheaper than many private schools even with high (~$10,000 per year) out-of-state fees tacked on. A good public university paired with a relatively inexpensive living-area could save you a lot of money.

I'm willing to bet the Haas School of Business at UC Berkeley, an esteemed school, is cheaper than some private alternatives, although it's in an area with a high cost of living. So look for a school like that with a less-costly living situation.

However, my big caveat to this is that private schools -- from my observation -- tend to offer much more financial aid and scholarship opportunities to assist international students. I guess you could say they're more interested in catering to a diverse international audience than state schools -- intended to serve their states first-and-foremost and sap big money in fees off everybody from anywhere else -- are. But you've got to research this at each school / department.

Bottom line: find the best schools for your interests, and then sort out the least expensive ones (tuition + living expenses) as well as the ones with the most financial aid and scholarship opportunities for international students. Apply to as many as you can afford the application fees for, do a thorough job on the financial aid sections of your applications, and see what schools offer you. Hopefully you'll wind up with a good range of options.

Especially if you're an international student, you want to make studying here worth your while, right? It's a lot of trouble to go to, so at least go to a school that will work in your best interest in the long run, and help you pay off any debt you incur attending. Think of it this way: there are a lot of ways to incur debt in life, other than your schooling, but you're only going to get one MBA to help you pay all of your debts off. Make it a good one!

In the end, you could be able to attend a highly-ranked expensive private school on a large scholarship that makes it affordable for you. Maybe you'll end up at a good inexpensive school instead. But I don't advise ruling out schools based on cost alone. If you find an expensive school that's a great fit for you, apply because -- since it's a great fit -- your application there will be better because of that, and make you more likely to receive admission with financial aid. Professional master's degree programs are stingier about scholarship aid, and emphasize merit aid over need-based aid (they often expect you to win money awards after you're their student instead of granting you aid before you enroll), but they still compete to keep their best-fitting applicants.

Also, try posting in IHOG and The Bank about financial aid options. And definitely in the Professional Programs --> Business sub-forum! People might be able to give you more suggestions there.

By the time you get to the PhD level, grades are not the most important thing anymore, not by a long shot. Actually, it can be frowned upon, for reasons such as your "panic attack" after getting an A-. The programs generally don't give a crap about your grades as long as you don't get put on academic probation. They want you to be focused on research, and if you are the type of student who is freaking out about an A-, then you may wind up taking time away from your research to strive for A's, and honestly, programs do NOT want that. Probably the type of lesson your prof who wouldn't budge on the half a point from a A was trying to give you.

I think the grade-obsession is a very immature approach to grade school.You say your grades dropped this year because you took too much on, but do you expect less from grad school? If you are looking for a funded PhD, not only will you have the full load of classes, but you will probably be TA-ing and doing research too. The average work week in grad school is 6 days a week, and anywhere from 50-70 hours depending on the advisor.

And as you can tell from the reputation value this post has given you (in case you don't know what it is, the red number at the bottom right hand corner of your post), I think you REALLY need an adjustment in your priorities. This post came off as a narcissist who is being insecure and seeking validation from everyone that you are still wonderful. I am sure you are a great student and you didn't mean it that way, but still, that is how you are coming off to your peers, and could in the future to professors and other grad students. You need to build networking and relationships in your field, and honestly no one is going to want to listen to stuff like this.

So pretty much the overall message of my post is chill out! Get over the grade-obsession, because it's not going to get you anywhere in life. Re-taking the GRE's is not going to help you any more if you are already in 90th percentiles, A-'s are not going to kill you. The best thing you can do for yourself is chill out, and focus more on research in your MA, get more publications, and really make sure your recommendations and SOP are awesome. I am sure you will get in, just think you need to see the big picture more instead of obsessing on a 4.0.

To put it in perspective, in my undergrad I had a 3.65 GPA, 75-80th percentile GRE's, and I got into and am attending the #9 ranked program in my field, and an Ivy. What got me in was my 3+ years of academic and industrial experience, and stellar recommendations. So RELAX!

By the time you get to the PhD level, grades are not the most important thing anymore, not by a long shot. Actually, it can be frowned upon, for reasons such as your "panic attack" after getting an A-. The programs generally don't give a crap about your grades as long as you don't get put on academic probation. They want you to be focused on research, and if you are the type of student who is freaking out about an A-, then you may wind up taking time away from your research to strive for A's, and honestly, programs do NOT want that. Probably the type of lesson your prof who wouldn't budge on the half a point from a A was trying to give you.

I think the grade-obsession is a very immature approach to grade school.You say your grades dropped this year because you took too much on, but do you expect less from grad school? If you are looking for a funded PhD, not only will you have the full load of classes, but you will probably be TA-ing and doing research too. The average work week in grad school is 6 days a week, and anywhere from 50-70 hours depending on the advisor.

And as you can tell from the reputation value this post has given you (in case you don't know what it is, the red number at the bottom right hand corner of your post), I think you REALLY need an adjustment in your priorities. This post came off as a narcissist who is being insecure and seeking validation from everyone that you are still wonderful. I am sure you are a great student and you didn't mean it that way, but still, that is how you are coming off to your peers, and could in the future to professors and other grad students. You need to build networking and relationships in your field, and honestly no one is going to want to listen to stuff like this.

So pretty much the overall message of my post is chill out! Get over the grade-obsession, because it's not going to get you anywhere in life. Re-taking the GRE's is not going to help you any more if you are already in 90th percentiles, A-'s are not going to kill you. The best thing you can do for yourself is chill out, and focus more on research in your MA, get more publications, and really make sure your recommendations and SOP are awesome. I am sure you will get in, just think you need to see the big picture more instead of obsessing on a 4.0.

To put it in perspective, in my undergrad I had a 3.65 GPA, 75-80th percentile GRE's, and I got into and am attending the #9 ranked program in my field, and an Ivy. What got me in was my 3+ years of academic and industrial experience, and stellar recommendations. So RELAX!

By the time you get to the PhD level, grades are not the most important thing anymore, not by a long shot. Actually, it can be frowned upon, for reasons such as your "panic attack" after getting an A-. The programs generally don't give a crap about your grades as long as you don't get put on academic probation. They want you to be focused on research, and if you are the type of student who is freaking out about an A-, then you may wind up taking time away from your research to strive for A's, and honestly, programs do NOT want that. Probably the type of lesson your prof who wouldn't budge on the half a point from a A was trying to give you.

I think the grade-obsession is a very immature approach to grade school.You say your grades dropped this year because you took too much on, but do you expect less from grad school? If you are looking for a funded PhD, not only will you have the full load of classes, but you will probably be TA-ing and doing research too. The average work week in grad school is 6 days a week, and anywhere from 50-70 hours depending on the advisor.

And as you can tell from the reputation value this post has given you (in case you don't know what it is, the red number at the bottom right hand corner of your post), I think you REALLY need an adjustment in your priorities. This post came off as a narcissist who is being insecure and seeking validation from everyone that you are still wonderful. I am sure you are a great student and you didn't mean it that way, but still, that is how you are coming off to your peers, and could in the future to professors and other grad students. You need to build networking and relationships in your field, and honestly no one is going to want to listen to stuff like this.

So pretty much the overall message of my post is chill out! Get over the grade-obsession, because it's not going to get you anywhere in life. Re-taking the GRE's is not going to help you any more if you are already in 90th percentiles, A-'s are not going to kill you. The best thing you can do for yourself is chill out, and focus more on research in your MA, get more publications, and really make sure your recommendations and SOP are awesome. I am sure you will get in, just think you need to see the big picture more instead of obsessing on a 4.0.

To put it in perspective, in my undergrad I had a 3.65 GPA, 75-80th percentile GRE's, and I got into and am attending the #9 ranked program in my field, and an Ivy. What got me in was my 3+ years of academic and industrial experience, and stellar recommendations. So RELAX!

By the time you get to the PhD level, grades are not the most important thing anymore, not by a long shot. Actually, it can be frowned upon, for reasons such as your "panic attack" after getting an A-. The programs generally don't give a crap about your grades as long as you don't get put on academic probation. They want you to be focused on research, and if you are the type of student who is freaking out about an A-, then you may wind up taking time away from your research to strive for A's, and honestly, programs do NOT want that. Probably the type of lesson your prof who wouldn't budge on the half a point from a A was trying to give you.

I think the grade-obsession is a very immature approach to grade school.You say your grades dropped this year because you took too much on, but do you expect less from grad school? If you are looking for a funded PhD, not only will you have the full load of classes, but you will probably be TA-ing and doing research too. The average work week in grad school is 6 days a week, and anywhere from 50-70 hours depending on the advisor.

And as you can tell from the reputation value this post has given you (in case you don't know what it is, the red number at the bottom right hand corner of your post), I think you REALLY need an adjustment in your priorities. This post came off as a narcissist who is being insecure and seeking validation from everyone that you are still wonderful. I am sure you are a great student and you didn't mean it that way, but still, that is how you are coming off to your peers, and could in the future to professors and other grad students. You need to build networking and relationships in your field, and honestly no one is going to want to listen to stuff like this.

So pretty much the overall message of my post is chill out! Get over the grade-obsession, because it's not going to get you anywhere in life. Re-taking the GRE's is not going to help you any more if you are already in 90th percentiles, A-'s are not going to kill you. The best thing you can do for yourself is chill out, and focus more on research in your MA, get more publications, and really make sure your recommendations and SOP are awesome. I am sure you will get in, just think you need to see the big picture more instead of obsessing on a 4.0.

To put it in perspective, in my undergrad I had a 3.65 GPA, 75-80th percentile GRE's, and I got into and am attending the #9 ranked program in my field, and an Ivy. What got me in was my 3+ years of academic and industrial experience, and stellar recommendations. So RELAX!

Hi all,

I'm currently a first-year MA student in Islamic Studies, and will be applying next year to Ph.D. work to several top programs -- Chicago and Yale in Political Science, Duke, Princeton and Harvard in Near Eastern Studies/Religion, and Michigan in History/Anthropology. I've got a strong undergraduate record (4.0 GPA and multiple majors), decent GRE scores (660V, 730Q, 6 writing), and a pretty strong publishing record this early in the game -- several articles, several conference papers, and I'm working on my first book as we speak. The thing is, in my first year as an MA student this past year, I took a bit of a ding, getting two A minuses (on account of taking on waaay too much this year).

I know graduate GPA is expected to be higher than undergrad, so I'm wondering, is an A minus here as an MA student a deal-breaker for top Ph.D. programs? I imagine it varies across the spectrum of programs, so if anyone can comment intelligently about any of these programs all the better -- especially Michigan, as I don't specifically have an anthro background, so that one is going to be a little trickier. Will a less-than-perfect (but still strong) MA record stand in the way of admission to these top programs?

If this does stand to pose a problem, might it be worth retaking the GRE? My scores were above 90th percentile across all registers, but I know the verbal can stand to be improved. Might that be necessary in this case?

I practically had a panic attack after getting my *second* A-minus (I was borderline by half of a point, and my prof refused to budge). I just took on waaay too much this year, otherwise I don't think this would have happened. I'd really appreciate any feedback anyone can provide, as it'd go a long way to alleviate my angst. Thanks!

DEFINITELY get a stronger letter from an industrial supervisor instead of a crappy one from a prof who doesn't know you well. It will be glaringly obvious who really knows you and how you work. The requirements depend from school to school, but usually for mine they asked for at least one academic recommendation, and the rest had to be from people in the field. I used 2 professors and 1 supervisor from industry, and got into top 20 schools in my programs.

I would be slightly concerned about the length of your relationship with your recommenders though. If you look at the recommendation form, they almost always ask how long they have known you, and at the time that they write the recommendations, the internship supervisor and research project advisor sound like they will have only worked with you for a few months. So just be wary of that, and review all your options. If you don't have anyone else that you can ask (were you close with any profs at your Community College? I think the quality of the letter and their relationships with you is more important than where they teach), then just you REALLY have to work your butt off to build a personal relationship with them, so it doesn't sound like a generic letter of rec. This is also hard though, because some people are hard to get to know that fast.

After writing this I feel like I sound like a Debbie Downer! But truly, it sounds to me like you have a good shot, you just need to be aware of where you need to improve your application. Good luck!

DEFINITELY get a stronger letter from an industrial supervisor instead of a crappy one from a prof who doesn't know you well. It will be glaringly obvious who really knows you and how you work. The requirements depend from school to school, but usually for mine they asked for at least one academic recommendation, and the rest had to be from people in the field. I used 2 professors and 1 supervisor from industry, and got into top 20 schools in my programs.

I would be slightly concerned about the length of your relationship with your recommenders though. If you look at the recommendation form, they almost always ask how long they have known you, and at the time that they write the recommendations, the internship supervisor and research project advisor sound like they will have only worked with you for a few months. So just be wary of that, and review all your options. If you don't have anyone else that you can ask (were you close with any profs at your Community College? I think the quality of the letter and their relationships with you is more important than where they teach), then just you REALLY have to work your butt off to build a personal relationship with them, so it doesn't sound like a generic letter of rec. This is also hard though, because some people are hard to get to know that fast.

After writing this I feel like I sound like a Debbie Downer! But truly, it sounds to me like you have a good shot, you just need to be aware of where you need to improve your application. Good luck!

I agree with AngusBF. National rankings and reputation are not as important as those in your field. So between that and UNC is better all over financially, UNC hands down is the right choice.

No, I think it matters because. For others their score was average of 5 Assignments + Homeworks + 1 Midterm. But for me it was average if 5 Assignments + Homeworks +1 Midterm + 1 Finals.

An incredibly dull analogy would be to compare speed of two people, one of whom run only 100 meters while the other run 200 meters. Obviously the one who run larger distance will have lower average speed than the former [for obvious reasons]. This dosent meant that the latter has lower performance than the former.

But it wasn't the missing assignment that made you screw up your grade-- it was your bombed final. If the waiver only came up two days before the final, you should have been prepared for the final, anyway

Or for that matter of fact, had everybody taken the finals, then the class average would have gone down and I would still be getting a B despite the fact that I had not submitted that one assignment.

I don't really understand the OP's need to have a super successful partner.

My long-time boyfriend is a nurse. He is in a completely different world. He makes good money, but once I get a PhD I will probably make more, and I will have the "Dr." title and the prestige associated with it, along with a hopefully also successful career. And I have never resented him for it. He loves his job because he loves the feeling he gets, going to work and helping people every day. He started out in Physics in college, and while he was good at it, he had no passion, no drive. He comes home from work excited to tell me stories about his day, or so happy when a patient gives him a gift because he helped them. THAT is success. I hope that someday I can be that happy with my job every day. And truth be told, I think it is a good thing to have only one career-oriented spouse. When we have kids, he has a much more flexible schedule and has mentioned that he wouldn't mind being a stay-at-home dad, or only working part time. I would hate to raise kids in a house where both parents work all the time!

And so far at least, he has shown no resentment to following me. He followed me to the city I did my undergrad, and he will be following be to grad school as soon as he gets a job up there. We are lucky that he is a nurse, and has reasonable mobility in his career as well.

To the OP: Re-evaluate what you want in a relationship. It's not a competition. Who wants to fight with their spouse to be the best their whole lives? It's about being with someone that you love and see past "faults" (thought I truly don't think this is a fault, it's not like he is an unemployed loser living in his mom's basement) and finding someone who you want to build a life with. If you don't see this with your boyfriend, do the boy a favor and break up with him. Let him find someone who will enjoy his caring and selfless nature, and who won't resent him for not being a star.