poco_puffs

This happened during the weekend that I visited, and it still happens to this day: I stumble over my words, get tongue-tied, stutter a bit, misspeak etc, but rather than recover gracefully I do this weird Porky Pig cartoon over-exaggeration of my error with what has GOT to be a bizarre eye-rolling look on my face before continuing. Currently trying to erase this from my repertoire of behavioral and verbal tics, but it's a tough one. I also frequently forget my research interests after about three-quarters of the way through my spiel. Try to look poised when your interests seem to trail off, your face goes blank, and then the only words that come to mind are "...and stuff like that." Sip wine, look at how empty your glass is, and walk away after mumbling something about a refill. Repeat as needed. I hear it gets better over time, but never goes away entirely. On the bright side, everyone I've met in the department is human (no unforgivingly perfect borgycylondroidtrons) and everyone has some flaw about which they are overly self-conscious, even if everyone else thinks they're lovely and perfect. It sort of gives me a warm fuzzy feeling when I realize that we're all stuttery, inarticulate, sweaty-palmed, nervously loud-laughing, occasionally-too-chatty-because-of-coffee-or-wine-at-the-reception geekazoids at one point or another. Even the professors.

At my English program, we take two seminars per term/quarter, and professors seem to be pretty considerate on keeping our costs down. A novel seminar might require 4-6 novels, priced at $7-10 used or $9-13 new. Lots of secondary reading is put up on Blackboard or a similar classroom site as PDFs or links to websites with the documents available, but occasionally a reader, anthology or packet might cost $20-$35 in addition to the books. Overall, I normally spend less than $100 on books per term (for both seminars combined). That is also taking advantage of Amazon or other sites where I can, and checking some good local used bookstores for the novels and anthologies that aren't completely obscure. Edit: Something I'm dealing with right now, however, is when professors put ALL of the reading up as PDFs my reading rates suffer horribly. So now I'm paying $20-30 to print out all the PDFs for the term. It's still cheaper than the cost of a fully cleared packet, but it takes some extra effort.

At my school, which is pretty casual, prospective students showed up for the open house activities in what I would term dressy casual more than business casual-- men wore polo shirts and button-ups (sometimes over graphic tees) with slacks or nice jeans. The ladies wore nice jeans, dress pants, skirts, dresses, heels, flats, boots, sweaters, button-up blouses-- there was a HUGE variety in terms of style and the way people interpreted "dressy casual" or "business casual" but everyone had their personality showing through and still looked like they were ready for food, wine and mingling. Whatever you wear, I recommend something that you can sit, stand and walk comfortably in for a few hours, including shoes. It's better to be slightly on the casual side and comfortable than over-dressed with a tortured look on your face all day. At least that's my opinion.

It might depend on your relationship with your advisor whether or not you want to divulge that kind of personal information. I think an appropriate way to phrase it would be something along the lines of "I'm sorry that I'm typically not available at X time on Y afternoons; I have a standing appointment at that time every week." You could say that it was for medical reasons, you could go even more specific about the depression, or you could just let them assume that you have some sort of yoga class or physical therapy that you need to go to each week. Some people do advise you to keep those cards close to your chest, but that just depends on how you want to play it. As for how common it is, I think there's probably a slight uptick in rates of depression and anxiety, if only for the fact that the stress can trigger those conditions in people who are prone to them in the first place. Congratulations on getting the treatment you need, and especially balancing medication with an ongoing dialogue of therapy. Taking care of yourself is always important, but I think we grad students can forget about that sometimes.

Man, I have an amazing cohort. We arranged our own meet-ups early on (outside of school functions) to try and establish some connections with each other, and I'd say more than half of the students in my year got involved at some level. We have a facebook group for notices about social events or movie nights, questions about school, requests for information rides etc. There's a grad lounge for our department where all of the people without offices hang out, and it has turned into a major socializing and destressing zone. A few people have had some rough terms, and the group has really stepped up to help with taking notes, running errands, and doing study groups/buddy sessions for the stressful nights. I know not every cohort is like that, so I'm thankful, but I also think that it's worth it to be friendly and proactive about connecting in the first few weeks/months. These people are going to know better than most others what your life is going to be like for the next few years, and that can be a wonderful resource (as long as it's not just shoptalk 24/7, of course). It doesn't have to be a hug-fest, as a previous poster mentioned, but I think you can be warm and engaging with people in a way that encourages some trust and goodwill. Even if not everyone responds to that approach, it will help you connect with the people who you can depend on or turn to in the near future.

For the PhD comic, it's been mostly true in my experience, except one professor who used to write these fabulously composed novels for emails-- and I loved every paragraph of it. Bah. I just typed a long paragraph about how everyone has lives and rules for compartmentalizing work and some people have access issues when they aren't tied to a smartphone, but then I realized that these sorts of professional expectations really probably differ by discipline and department. Check with older grad students in your area, and see what they have to say. You might be in an atmosphere where people have high expectations about your availability, or you may be in a situation like mine where going sans email for 12-18 hours isn't grounds for a raised eyebrow, let alone some sort of punishment. As for why professors respond so quickly and briefly, it probably IS because they have a lot of emails coming through, and they need to address as many as they can in order to avoid a build-up or a missed message. At some point they also probably stop worrying about how they sound in emails-- at least to the students.

Life isn't completely terrible money-wise, but it does force a lot of people to reeeeally start budgeting seriously. The people in my program who either have a lot of money saved up or have taken out additional loans for living expenses are doing okay, but even then there are some lifestyle changes for everyone, You'll see some people spending at "normal" rates for three weeks and then the last week before payday they're eating Eggo waffles and ramen three meals a day. I prefer a steadier approach. If I don't get a part-time job for the summer, I'll have to budget myself to about $200 a month for any food and personal expenses (anything after rent, power, and cable). That's also not including my tax refund, which I am looking forward to like never before, because it means I can actually pad my savings a bit and/or buy some semi-professional looking shoes that don't have holes in the bottom. It can be done, and in my case I am totally happy to make the sacrifice. Just be prepared to cut out most of your coffeeshop and bar budget when the time comes.

The real joke is that some states' foodstamp programs won't give any benefits if you're under contract as a graduate teaching fellow. Nevermind the fact that I'm below the poverty line, never go out and eat mostly toast and cereal--I can't even get an extra $50 a month to help buy groceries because the state agreed that graduate students weren't part of the deal.

I think the last few lines of advice seem the most widely applicable. Know the alternatives, know that you love it, know that you're entering into an academic community that is not always sunshine and sparkling hope. The rest seems (to me) like just another entry in the genre of bitter, tenured, fear-mongering. My school doesn't expect you to sign your name in blood to any focus for a year or two, although by the first year of the PhD you're expected to have a rough game plan of the courses you'll take for your major focus and your breadth areas. My own experience in these first two terms of an English PhD: The workload is a little taxing, but nothing I can't handle. I'm having a blast, enjoying the material and even the writing. I can't say the same for some of my colleagues, but many of them come from an MA at other schools-- graduate schools and departments all have their personalities, atmospheres, and ways of doing things. Part of your job as a potential graduate student is to research those atmospheres/personalities the best you can to find a place that works with your own style of scholarship. I'm not just talking about field, either. I'm talking about the ways that you handle stress, deadlines, and potentially competitive or isolating environments. Those students coming from other schools have had different professors, advisors, requirements, class arrangements etc, and they are adjusting. So with each grad school and department differing, and the experiences of the students there differing wildly according to personality as well, the best thing you can do is gather information from a wide sampling of sources. Ask honest questions of those people and yourself, and then be honest in answering whether you truly need and want to do this.

Congratulations from another duck!

I guess that brings up a question I hadn't thought about... do student mothers in grad school generally get a term off of teaching as maternity leave?

Activities and opportunities are going to vary city by city, obviously, so my best suggestion is to go to any sort of luncheon, talk, symposium, or happy hour that you can get to in the first few weeks. The important thing is establishing contacts with people who have been in the area for long enough to have a feel for its personality as a city--if they have been in the program for a year or two already, that also means that they've figured out what sorts of activities can potentially be balanced with coursework and other duties. Asking about local and non-academic activities makes for great small-chat when you have first met a person, and it will give you a chance to listen to their suggestions about other pertinent info as well.

I'm considering this myself. For years I've been telling myself that I'll start trying after I get my PhD, which is probably going to happen at 30 or 31. The thought of having a baby while on the job market, or of planning to have a baby soon after getting a job, makes me a bit nervous though. To be honest, I don't even know that much about the laws concerning maternity leave (or family leave for fathers) and I can't help but see that as being a potentially vulnerable position for a new (or aspiring) mother. I've only been at my program for a few months, so I don't even know all of the people in it, but I have already met at least a handful of people (men and women both) who had a baby with their partner right before or during their research years. They all seem to manage nicely, so I'm holding onto that as a piece of hope.

I second the Norton thing, but also check out some other anthology series-- the subject test might like Norton, but variety of influences/sources won't hurt in your other stuff. Overall I'd say: -Read up on general English Lit Subject Test stuff -Nose around your areas of interest, get more familiar with names, seminal works, important theories -Make a list of books you "should read," but make sure to get around to some fun ones too -Take a few months off, and then get an early start on next round-- watch the unis, keep your ear to the tracks for shifts in faculty, funding etc -Work, or otherwise occupy your time in a manner conducive to money-gathering -Remember that there is life outside of grad school, and there is a lot to be learned and gained outside of a department-- in some cases it's stuff that people who go straight from one degree to another will *not* get when they have "skipped over" some of that real world experience. - Go into the next round ready to rally, knowing that you've had ample time to work on SOPS, writing samples, ideas, and your views on life/literature/everything.

I used to feel like it was so much drama, but then I kept laughing every time I saw him talking about Yale that I couldn't help but post the links to this kind of thing. In the end, I really do prefer laughing about it.

Because I am eternally tickled by this thread: Franco will not be skipping class to visit talk shows in the case of Oscar nominations. Here.

You've been lurking around these forums for four months just to make a thoroughly unnecessary grammar-nazi snark on a thread that had fairly well resolved itself two days prior?

I think this will be the case in the long run. There will always be a spectrum of professional to nonprofessional, as far as I can see, and there probably is a range of body modification style and subject matter that might warrant covering vs. non-covering, but I don't see how "dress codes" could so completely crystallize as to not expand to include the gradual acceptance of piercings and tattoos. I have a nose ring, which my parents and a few friends were worried about damaging my professional image. While my department has been far less modded than I expected, the nose ring has been no problem at all. I won't be taking this thing out until *I* feel like taking it out. Until then, it's part of my face. Plus, it requires pliers to remove, and I'm just not doing that for every class session and conference. What you said earlier about being discrete about body mods for a while and THEN letting people judge you seems like a pretty safe but also honest way of going about things for a few years-- at least until things change or we develop reputations for our intellect and professionalism that precede reputations about our superficial appearance.

I am amused by the fact that my writing habits have changed since my last post on this thread-- which I wrote before I had actually started school. Now, instead of a big honkin' binder with neat dividers (which I tried for about five weeks last term) I just write on cheap college-lined looseleaf paper that I keep in a recyclable two-pocket folder with only the most essential or recent handouts and notes-- syllabi, to-do readings etc. About once a week, things DO get organized into that big honkin' binder with neat dividers, but that monster stays at home. This method means I don't always have everything at my fingertips while I'm on campus, but saves my bag, my back/shoulders, and gives me more room for books and the lunches I'm packing from home to save moneys. Binders are getting expensive, too. This means less wear and tear on the big guy, and I can just go through one or two 90 cent folders per term and toss them in the recycling when they've reached the end of the line. Note-taking strategies have changed significantly as well, to fit the discussion-based seminars as opposed to lectures. But that's another thread!

Congratulations on sticking to it and pulling your undergraduate work together for a strong finish! I had a weak year as well, but I was fortunate enough to transfer and lose some of the failed/withdrawn credits in the process. Postmodern and Medievalmaniac make some excellent points, and I hope that their advice serves you well. I'm a little bummed about what I'm going to say here, but it's another factor we all had/have to consider when applying for school (and maybe jobs someday, who knows), and I feel like it could help you be extra-tough on yourself when you're putting together your packet and making your choices on programs, and perhaps extra-forgiving to yourself after applications are in: Adcomms are humans, and they can be both fickle and forgiving, and they can overlook a lot of flaws in an application because they see something remarkable in your scores or writing or recommendations, even if it isn't all there in the GPA department. This has, does, and will happen. However, in response to your last question about whether they'll consider a particular factor, they might or they might not-- the big issue, and this is what makes it a tough game all around, is that your application is not sitting alone on a table for them to consider. They might see your application, appreciate you and everything you've done and will be able to do, but your application is sitting in a pile of other applications. Lots of them will be weaker, but some will be as strong or stronger-- especially when there are people out there (damn them!) who got straight As and great exam scores through everything. Schools have limited spots, and limited money, so we have to play as smart and tough as we can. Think of it like an underdog boxer, scrapping his way to the top in spite of all the odds and naysayers-- it helped me Luckily, it's a competition with a lot of factors. Some, but not all, are number factors. There is a lot of anecdotal evidence, including quite a bit on this board, where numbers didn't hurt a persons chances in the long run, especially when they had other very strong components to their packet. So, be honest with yourself (what you want, what you're willing to go for or sacrifice in terms of money, lifestyle, program quality), with your work (we ALL have room for improvement, and the more vigorously you can edit and push yourself the better), and with the schools (let them know the situation, what you can do, what you passionately ache to study). As the others have said, play up your strengths. Take every advantage you can between now and application-time! You're actually rather fortunate that you've got this much time to plan, prepare and polish.

I'm not even in my application season anymore, but that is a great site! I'll be passing it along to some friends.

Just to affirm one of your choices, Oregon has seemed pretty friendly to sci-fi. I'm not sure which professors are working and advising in the area, but I can think of at least three students off the top of my head who are working into scifi from varying directions. At least two women in my department are approaching different film/novel franchises in terms of fan culture and fanfic, and one of them was even on the panel of experienced grad students who shared their works in progress with the incoming class. It doesn't sound like that is your *exact* cup of tea, but I figure it shows that the atmosphere is pretty welcoming to supposedly non-traditional English research and dissertations. In re: to liking both scifi and Milton, there is one faculty member who got hired as an Early Modern guy and is now really known for his work with comics. It seems flexible.

Are you looking at Ben Saunders at Oregon for the comics?

They picked you, so feel free to feel as proud and/or humble as you need at any given moment. At the very least, knowing that you were picked out of the crowd should help keep your head in a positive place when stress or self-doubt starts to hit.

Re: the MomA thing, was that the one where people sit in a chair opposite of her for something resembling a staring contest? He had the cutest smile by the end of that.