hippyscientist

Flights sorted  it's happening!!!!

As much as I love the blue one, I'd probably go for the last one because lots of space. I'm one of these people who lives out their bag and will carry my laptop, gym clothes (& shower stuff), lunch etc in one bag. It depends what you will use it for. If it's a carting around everything bag, the Explorer has my vote.
@Cat_Robutt Arrow is epic. Unfortunately I've been limited to the seasons on Netflix in the UK so I've only seen the first 2 or 3. I love cheesy bad telly with the occasional good show thrown in. Jane the Virgin is lined up to be watched, I'm just not sure I want to board the feels train just yet!

YOU GUYS I GOT MY VISA!!!
 

Oh my god. You've named 4 of my favourite movie/book franchises. They're all such awesome stories! But I will never judge anyone for not seeing them or liking them. At some point though, you should get round to trying one that most appeals to you. I'm biased towards harry potter though as I grew up with Emma Watson (she went to my rival school) so it was always weird to see the girl I played sport with on the telly.
@Neist I do think that not being straight out of college and having some life experience gives a different outlook to those who are younger. But 33 is an awesome time to be doing this journey  

I don't think he knows about second breakfast pip.

Get out.

Yeah I've done it before, but thanks for the heads up  Cheapest and easiest to fly into Newark and drive out the next day. That's always been the plan, just waiting on my dad to get around to booking flights (he's got to make sure it works with work). Accommodation is all booked! I don't need to be homeless for a week thank you airbnb! 
Man I can't wait to binge Gilmore Girls again. Such a good show.

True... There are many paths in life, and many will not reach any form of poise or self control.
All someone has to do is make popcorn and I lose all self control.

Ugh ugh ugh. Not okay. Try to carve out a happy space for yourselves and find somewhere nearby that you can retreat to when it just gets a bit much. Just because you're staying with them doesn't mean you have to be around them all the time. 
Also, I'm pretty sure all family units are dysfunctional, just dysfunctional in different ways. Yay for the wine festival though
@Neist that's amazing! Congrats. and yay @MarineBluePsy that's pretty awesome too. 
I had a lovely email from my new advisor and I really cannot wait to work with him now. It's pretty exciting! And I just found out my bestie is moving to Australia So happy for her!

Wow, that kind of sounds like my parents.  I feel your pain, and I truly empathize!
Also, I'm so happy! I got a letter in the mail today with an official graduate assistant appointment. I thought it was going to be a normal TA appointment (the department had hinted that it was the case), but I got the more competitive 12-month GA appointment that's doing the exact thing I want to do professionally. Yipee! The appointment could change next year, but it's an amazing opportunity. At the very least, I'll have a year-long assistantship doing work relevant to my professional and academic interests. 
Honestly, I'm a bit afraid that it was incorrectly sent. It's signed by the department chair, so I doubt it, but I'm still paranoid.  

We're an eclectic bunch of nerds here that's for sure. The ever-changing conversation topic makes me smile.
Also, I love living on the road!!! Have so much fun The best stories come from the most random adventures so say yes to things you wouldn't normally (YMMV with that advice). 
 

@janetjanejune oh let the nipples free If I didn't need the support from torture devices I would burn them all.  
@sjoh197 tell me about it! I'm a really really awkward size - tiny band, large cups - so trying to find anywhere that stocks anything that fits for less than 3 figures is a miracle. 
I think long story short, boobs are great, bras really aren't!
@rhombusbombus ugh. I'm planning on having enough savings to live off until October, as I'm not sure when the assistantship payments will kick in and so there's a lot of things I want to get that will just have to be put off until steady income is coming in. In related news, have you, @jlt646,  @Cat_Robutt and any other penn staters seen the Graduate CATA pass - $180 for unlimited travel for the year?! That's so worth it in my book! 

Well, I finally got a TA offer from UH. Don't really know much else... but I'm feeling much better about my decision to try to go to grad school. 

YOU GUYS I GOT MY VISA!!!
 

YOU GUYS I GOT MY VISA!!!
 

YOU GUYS I GOT MY VISA!!!
 

YOU GUYS I GOT MY VISA!!!
 

YOU GUYS I GOT MY VISA!!!
 

YOU GUYS I GOT MY VISA!!!
 

As some one who moved across the Atlantic for grad schol, I get what you're going through 100%, and it is survivable. First of all know that you do deserve this opportunity and you're just as bright and promising as everyone else there. If you're worried you're going to struggle, that's ok, it happens. One of my friends gave me a great piece of advice (and she goes to Harvard, so I hope she knows what she's taking about!): "Once they've accepted you, they want you pass and graduate. They will help give you all the tools you need to succeed. It doens't look good for them to have graduate student failing out, so they wouldn't have accepted you if they didn't 100% feel you were qualified." 
As for homesickness, I didn't expect to get it really, at all, so I didn't talk to anyone about it. I wanted my parents to think I was "staying strong" and didn't want to upset them. But fuck that. I agree with sjoh197 completely- talk to your family about this, and talk about it once you've gone too. Set up weekly standing dates to skype and stay in close contact, it really does feel better. Write your grandma old fashioned letters if she's not on technology. My great Aunt still sends me cards like she did when I was in the states and it makes my day. Maybe start planning when they can come visit you, and then you'll have something to look forward to! Try to start planning this with your friends as well. 
No matter what you do you'll still probably feel homesick, and that's ok. Once and while its fine to just wallow in that. But remember you don't want to let them down. Your family is extremely proud of you, I'm sure. Whats helped me get through sometimes is thinking about how my mom didn't finish grad school, but has worked a damn hard job for the past 23 years instead, on top of being a mom. Everyone has their struggles. Your mom successfully raised an awesome grad student, now go be that awesome student! This is not to put more pressure on you, but even if you feel like an failure your family knows you're not, and they'll love you no matter what. 
Having a routine also helps me, as does getting excersise and fresh air. Even just a walk around the park can change your mood. Definitely join a club, a society or a sport. Feel out if any of your aquaintences or fellow grads are thinking about joining any. Having some one you know there can make it a lot easier and you can bond over this! Making new friends is also a LOT of simply putting yourself out there and akwardly saying "Hi I'm throwaway19, i'm from anywhere, where are you from?" Its totally painful, but gets less so the more you do it. Complimenting someone is also a great convo starter. Most people are willing to at least make polite small talk- and then you have an aqauintance to talk to if you run into them later-, even if you don't become life long friends, but you can make friends this way!
I know its terrifying and painful, but like you said, you've been gearing up to this for a while, I don't think you should let cold feel and these feelings stop you. They are very normal. And definitly talk to your friends and family, and maybe a professional, that's nothing to be ashamed of and they can really help people. Before you go, look into this service at your new university, so you have no excuses. And you don't have to think of this as leaving home forever. 4 hours its too bad. The semesters fly by and you'll be home for Christmas before you know it. xxx

Moving on to a new phase in your life is always hard. Some people take it in stride... and some people don't.
So lets tackle this one point at a time. 
This is something that should be tackled on its own regardless of the causes. Go to your doctor. Ask for help managing your anxiety. Also read up online about ways to reduce anxiety at home. For example, getting enough sleep, going to bed and eating around the same times each day, staying hydrated, not watching anxiety inducing tv and movies, listening to peaceful music before bed... etc. 
This is just the classic impostor syndrome. If you look through the old threads... there are tons of people with impostor syndrome. It's a thing. You have great creds, and were selected for a reason. You are obviously good enough, or you wouldn't have gotten in to 6 fully funded programs. Shit, I still don't have funding info, and only got accepted to 1 place. 
This goes back to the general anxiety. So my first question is... have you actually talked to your mom and grandma about these fears? Have you sat down and told them you don't want them to be sad, and that you are really going to miss them? My mother was actually a professor at my undergrad. We would get coffee at least 3 times a week. And see each other on weekends and holidays. Now I live in a different state. I only get to see her around christmas-time. But you know what, we still talk on the phone 3-4 times a week usually. And facebook message funny things. And text each other the weird things we see throughout the week. I still feel like my Mom is my bestfriend. Our communication is just a little different now. 
If you are really actually close to your mom... you will find a way to remain close, even with the distance. Same with your grandma. If she's not already tech savvy... teach her before you leave. Teach her how to facetime, and how to text. Set up a time of week where you guys can typically talk. Make a schedule. 
 
This is something that only you can change. You will have to make an effort to attend functions, and meet people. Whether its through school activities, or groups like meet-up where you find people who share a hobby and then go out and do it with them. 
Also... maybe getting a pet would help. But that is a huge responsibility that is not to taken lightly obviously. 
Also... one of the quotes that I try to live by at this point in my life is that "I would rather look back on my life and regret some of the things that I've done, than look back and regret all of the things I could have done, but didn't"
New stuff is scary and hard. But that is part of living and growing and a person. Do you really want to not grow as an individual, and then spend your later years wishing you had lived a different life? Things don't always work out, and everyone will have regrets, but I would rather mine not be over things that I had the power to change, but was too scared to. 

@hippyscientist If you get a chance, I highly recommend "Genius" by James Gleick - it's a biography of Feynman himself and probably darn near my favorite book of all time. And in regards to physics-y books, Gleick's other books are simply phenomenal, especially "Chaos". Gleick is one of my all-time favorite writers and the fact that he writes about physics is definitely a plus!

I love fantasy, and anything with an adventure in it. I grew up on the Famous 5 (like when I was about 5) and then transitioned to Harry Potter (who didn't?). Authors I currently am enjoying are Brent Weeks, Joe Abercrombie, Trudi Canavan, John Gwynne, Anthony Ryan etc. I loved the Farseer series by Robin Hobb, Magician series by Raymond e. Feist etc. I'm also partial to crime stories, adventure (I love love love love anything by Clive Cussler - guilty pleasure), the occasional bonkbuster (hello Jackie Collins) and I do love me some autobiographies as well. Normally sports people but I have to say the one that really sticks with me is Scar Tissue - Anthony Kiedis. Now that my book history is aired to the world, anyone else want to contribute theirs? 

@Cat_RobuttPrunes are dried plums?!?!?! How have I gone this long without knowing that?!
 Thanks for the book recommendations I will have to check them out. I can't wait to have these conversations in person in a few months!! I might have found a drone view video of the campus earlier and it got me all excited again.

@MarineBluePsy well, we call it a dissertation at my university but hey, same same! 
I haven't been watching either of those shows but I am rewatching Gossip Girl, and watching for the first time True Blood. I am loving both