Medievalmaniac

You may be on a waitlist...you never know!

I am the first person in my family even to consider graduate school (PhD; there are several MBAs). I have always been odd one out in my family. I have never really fit in. I have never been able to explain that the only time I am really and truly alive (except for when I'm in the moment with my own kids) is when I am reading, researching, and teaching. I was always academically inclined, always encouraged to get good grades, but never really pushed or driven because of a "learned mediocrity" in my family dynamic. As an adult I have clawed my way out of that, and I know I will never be truly happy if I'm not somehow engaged in academia. Even now, I'd rather be talking grad school and researching and writing papers than anything else, obviously. Later this afternoon, I'm giving a two hour lecture to homeschoolers on the transmission of culture through literary texts in medieval Britain. That, prepping my classes for next term, and working on my paper for the International Medieval Congress are what constitute my week (we're off teaching this week) and I could not be more delighted. Those are the highlights of my week. I know you all will understand, but nobody in my family does. My father supported me, but he died last May. My sister's response when I said "Right, I've got the MA, now I'm going to go for the PhD" was "You should have thought of that before you went and had kids! Grad school is too hard with a family. You can't just destroy your family like that. You just need to stop." Needless to say, I haven't really spoken to her or to my mother (who shares her views but won't actually say so) since then. My husband supports me...as long as we don't have to move and it doesn't inconvenience him too much. Oh - and as long as I get funding. In short, I often feel trapped by my upbringing and discouraged by the people who should be my biggest supporters but who are mostly just indifferent at best, hostile at worst. I wish my dad were still here, but he's not. I'm on my own, and if this works it is going to be because I tackled and overcame insurmountable obstacles. And I feel like it just has to work, or I'll end up like one of those hundred-year-old books with uncut pages that nobody has ever read, a thing that has never truly served its purpose in this world. So - I'm right there with you. I have certainly held down enough jobs to know with absolutely certainty that I want THIS job. Maybe that makes me crazy or really unrealistic, but I don't care, everybody thinks I am anyway (My mom: "medievalist? What does a medievalist even do? Who wants to be a medievalist?") I DO.

For the new Doctorow fan - I loved Ragtime, taught it in my Jewish American Lit course. HIGHLY recommend it. You might also enjoy Saul Bellow's Seize the Day, and if you have never read any John Irving, I would start with A Prayer for Owen Meany and work my way through the canon - he's marvelous fun. I just re-read As I Lay Dying, and am working my way through the modern and beat poets. (And you can all stuff it with the modern jokes, I am NOT amused by this....but by God, I am getting a 720 or higher on the subject test, and that's that. ) For refreshment when I just cannot take any more modern lit, I have my Riverside Chaucer. And also, Anglo-Saxon Culture in Old Norse Icelandic Texts - very excited to start this one!! And, A Celtic Miscellany. just finished rereading for the fifty billionth time Donna Tartt's Secret History, and also the Dragonriders of Pern. I think sometimes that reading is the only thing keeping me sane right now.

Dear future professors of undergrads and teachers of secondary students who will write you awful, crappy, horrible papers that you then have to correct: You may thank me later for making sure your students at least basically reference the medieval era correctly! lol Here is my first article on all things medieval, published and available for consultation for students who don't have a clue that "Middle Ages" refers to anything other than their parents: http://medievalhistory.suite101.com/article.cfm/correct-terms-for-the-study-of-the-medieval I intend to do a series of articles on similarly-themed "corrections" of my own students' most common errors in writing about such things. I hope it helps - because lemme tell you, there's nothing more discouraging than getting a 10 pager that starts: "In the medieval times"....ACK! lol

I'm not in your discipline, but I did want to offer you my experiences as a heads-up: I have my MA in hand, in my area of study...not from Harvard by any means, but from a decent up and coming nationally recognized for improvement and growth (#1 in the US News & World Report rankings for its size and programs), second-tier public university. My grades are perfect - a 4.0 with no less than an A on any paper. My GREs are fine - 90% verbal, perfect 6 on the writing section. My LORs were superlative, I have teaching experience already, and I have an extensive list of conference presentations and publications, including presentations at the International Medieval Congress, Southeastern Medieval Association, and Medieval Academy of America - which are the three "big" conferences in my field and my corner of the world. Even with all of that - MA in hand, mind - I was rejected outright by every program but one this season, and that one did not offer me funding. So...if you have gotten into a strong PhD program fully funded - in my opinion - you take that offer and run with it. You may not teach at Princeton "when you grow up" - but you WILL most likely get a job teaching somewhere at some point - do keep in mind the job market is tight and tightening yearly. Just remember - there are no guarantees at this point - except that you have been offered the chance to pursue the PhD fully funded. The other decision is academic snobbery and pretty shortsighted, honestly - it's fine if you have your heart set on the Harvard degree, but you can't know it will get you into any PhD program more securely than you already have this season.

Yeah, lol I kind of hoped that, too. But yes, I think the person who received it did read it, and no I don't think it made any difference, alas.

I am accepted for doctoral work at one of my top choices, but without funding this year. As I have a young family and this will mean a commuter marriage, plus walking away from a 49,000/year job, and I already have a sizeable amount of debt from undergrad student loans and credit cards, there is clearly no way for us to swing the finances on that. In my case, I was not only offered deferment, but was encouraged by the DEGS to take it. Obviously, there is no way for him to promise me funding for next year - they only have 4 TA ships available. But there is a better chance then than there is now, when I'm definitely not being funded for this coming year; meanwhile I can seek outside support and strengthen my application with the GRE subject test, conference and publication activity, and the like, without having to reapply entirely. I fully intend to stay in the running there, because I do want to go. And I am going to do everything in my power to get that TA ship, or any other funding offer they might throw at me. But I am also planning on applying to a few other schools next season as well, closer to home - less prestigious programs, but nonetheless, I'm not out to be a superstar in the field, I just want my damned degree. So if the flagship state school won't take me, a good but not stellar secondary school in the system might, and might offer better funding. It's worth a shot. And no, I don't think that's unethical. You defer your acceptance of admission because you have things that need to be worked out...if they can't be worked out, then they can't. The school will always be able to fill your spot with another candidate...it's not like you're the key to their full season (more's the pity...lol)

I have done it, and received a lovely reply that although I sound fabulous, they can't and won't take a second SOP at this point in the application process because it would constitute an unfairness to all of the other, equally fabulous candidates. So, I don't think it hurts you, but it definitely doesn't seem to help, either...I think they are going to make the choices they are going to make, and we just have to sit tight.

I am going to say no, it is a good thing to have the good, the bad, and the ugly in your LOR, but what I object to (as someone who writes LORs regularly myself for my own students) is that she is supposed to be writing about YOU, not about how fabulous she is as a mentor. I don't like the point at which she says "well, he really sucked, until he came to talk to me; then he magically turned around" That's not even about you, it's a plug for her own skills as a mentor/mediator. It should have read something like "he took the initiative to meet with me about his ongoing problems in the class, and demonstrated maturity and a willingness to accept critical feedback through his implementation of suggestions concerning x,y, z" - you see the difference? It should focus on your growth and qualities as a student, not on her ability to poof! cause you through a single meeting to make great strides as a student. Aside from that, I think it's fine, it certainly appears that she has a lot of regard for you (maybe not as much as she does for herself, though. )

Fiiiirst...tell me you love me. No, really, Branwen, I'm serious...tell me you love me.....now, click: http://www.extension.harvard.edu/distanceed/ If you look about midway down the actual course offerings in English, you'll see some names you should be very familiar with as a future medievalist. No biggie...you know, just Daniel Donaghue(editor of Seamus Heaney's version of Beowulf) teaching Beowulf and Old English lit...LARRY BENSON teaching Chaucer....YES, that would be THE Larry Benson, the editor of the Riverside Chaucer..... Of course there is no way at present to know what classes will be offered next term or the term after, but I imagine you could expect at least one in our field to be available. My understanding is that you meet WITH the class by being online at the same time as the class meeting, and you participate in lectures by sending questions through a dialogue box that are then read aloud by a mediator during Q&A session. You write the papers also - the whole shebang. It's a liiiittle pricy...but, you can TOTALLY have a Harvard course on your transcript, and you do not have to take it for credit, which is cheaper. Yes...I know...you love me. It's OK. Have a good time!!

That's GREAT news, Venetia! You can't do much better than Fordham for medieval studies, they're very well-known for it. Fordham was absolutely on my short list (I just wouldn't take the subject test in the GRE...lol) They're particularly amazing for what most English folks call "Anglo-Norman" but what they have re-named "French of England" - they have a whole program specifically devoted to it. I would absolutely endorse that program!!!!

ditto, and I am a medievalist who works in medievalism as well; in fact, I'm currently working on a chapter on Tolkien for an upcoming publication.

Don't know...but I sure wish they'd send the flat-out rejections their decision sooner rather than later. All of this keeping everyone on his and her toes is only adding to the world's stress levels...I'm sure the earth's axis was shifted yesterday not because of the earthquake, but because of the giant overflow of stress emanating from graduate student wannabes across the land!

I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you don't give up! Apply again next year!

I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you don't give up! Apply again next year!

There are a couple of variables you haven't really thrown in there yet, but here's my take on it - 1. how many schools are you waiting to hear back from, and what is the estimated timeline on that right now? (I don't think it is inappropriate at this point to email departments in question and ask where they are in the process). 2. how realistically do you believe you are in at any of your school choices? 3. What would you do if you ended up rejected at all of your choices? After you answer those questions, then you have the option of a. Asking the potential employer to give you some time to think about the offer and make sure you are able to make that commitment (time equivalent to the amount of time you need in order to hear back from your schools, based on your emails) b. Telling your potential employer that there is a slight possibility of your being accepted at a graduate school and askinghim or her straight out if s/he will give you until April to make the decision, assuring him/her that if you do not get in then yes, you will absolutely take the job. c. Take the job and hope you don't get into grad school so you don't have to make that choice. d. don't take the job and hope something else comes along if you don't get into grad school. I'm sorry not to be more help, but in my case, I would probably call or email the departments you are still awaiting decisions from, so I knew where I stood if that job offer call came. Good luck!

Maybe you are on the waitlist!!! *hoping hoping hoping hoping*!!!

Oh, Sweetie, of course you can't - because there are no guarantees. We don't have any guarantees that things will be great even if I don't do this - hell, we could both lose our jobs tomorrow, the house could burn down, a tornado could blitz through (we're now in season here). That, of course, is the whole point - the whole game of life is a craps shoot at best, blind luck at worst. The only guarantee I have right now of anything is a letter that says "you have earned the right to go for it." But I agree with you - if both people want what's best for each other, they will find a way to make it work. In my experience, everything I have ever done has turned out in the end...and I trust that. He did, too, up until this point. I GET his fears, I just don't SHARE them...does that make sense? The whole thing is utterly depressing...I think I'm the only person in the country who got an admit to a program I'd be glad to be a part of, and is currently feeling like a miserable, defeated failure because I was accepted. I don't think that's fair at all. And I think if he loves me as much as he says he does, he should see that, especially in light of my past experiences with being held back through no fault of my own. I do not think this is impossible, if we work together. We've always come out on top before. SIGH. Single people, be delighted with your lot.

It all depends on what you are willing to do to achieve your dreams. I am currently working a job that pays me just short of 50K a year. I can guarantee you no graduate school is going to pony up enough to meet that salary. And we barely make ends meet as it is because of student loans and credit card debt and a mortgage...seems like it's always two steps forward, one step back. If you don't have a mortgage or kids, then I think if you really want this degree, you'd be brain-dead to say "well, we can't buy the clothes we want or the organic produce we prefer, so I'm turning down your (excellent, by the way) offer of admission with full funding in favor of continuing to live the life to which we have become accustomed." From my point of view, and mine alone, I would love to be only engaged, without kids, with that offer on the table. I wouldn't blink twice, in fact. In the end, you have to decide what's more important - the work and eventually the degree you want so badly - or the surf 'n' turf at Outback once a week. No one else can make that choice for you. But I will tell you - when you do have a family, the stakes are higher and the choice is much harder.

No...I think he expected that I would get in at UNC or UVA, and that if I didn't, I would just say "OK, well, I tried. Moving on." But neither of us actually thought I would get in at the other schools....it was a "well, you're applying, why dont we just see what happens" thing. But in the end - I don't think he has to make this so hard. I wouldn't have applied if I didn't really, REALLY think we could make it work, and he's just making it so much more complicated than it has to be. And, all the stress of fighting with him is making it impossible for me to focus on grading papers or doing much of anything workwise, SIGH. I had a stack of finals to score last night - ended up arguing with him, got into a screaming match, utterly exhausted myself and fell asleep over the second exam. This just sucks, and I hate it. I'm sitting on an admit anyone would be glad to have (OK, maybe not anyone, but a lot of people) and it IS doable...why can't he just relax and be happy instead of overcomplicating it?