Apogeee
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Posts posted by Apogeee
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I hope you don't think I thought your essays were substandard. I don't think your essays are in any way bad. I simply wanted to help you bring them to a higher level, inasmuch as everyone has the capacity to improve, and you seemed to be asking for feedback. Also, you really don't owe me any explanations, so I want to thank you very much for taking the time to respond to my suggestions.
Utilize is a word that is appropriate in some specific situations, for example in chemistry. But it isn't a general synonym for "use." A thesaurus won't tell you that, but style and usage guides are helpful for you to get familiar with these choices in diction. Use "utilize" with extreme care, because there is the danger that it can come across as pretentious, and pretension always raises the stakes for the reader - he will expect you to maintain that level of diction throughout. When you used the slang term "kid" instead of "child" you dropped the diction back several steps below "utilize," a word which you didn't use idiomatically. To be sure, idiom changes over time and region, but the audience here is intended to be the sort that you will address when you are writing scholarly articles, and those people know the difference between "use" and "utilize."
If you didn't make up your anecdote about Africa, give more detail in order to validate it, and to demonstrate its value as an authority. "I heard about..." isn't as effective as adding details, such as where you heard it, the name of the village, the name of the publication...something. If you can't provide any of that, consider one of two options: either a different example that you can back up, or perhaps something to the effect of, "There was a village in Africa in the 1920s, in which...."
Where you say you were trying to emphasize that the reasoning was from the mind of a child, you will be better served to state, in so many words, that the reasoning is that of a child.
"Therefore, the kid in this situation would not learn explicitly the moral rightness of his action" is an assertion you are making. You haven't said what it is about this assertion that relates to the thesis. I was unclear, to tell the truth, about which was your thesis statement. I figured it was either, "The better approach is to praise positive actions and to point out better alternatives to negative ones," or "I disagree that the best way to teach is to praise positive actions and ignore negative actions." To tie an assertion to your thesis, you must clearly state, for example, how not learning explicitly about the moral value of his action fits with the thesis that praising positive actions and ignoring negative ones is better. Is the explicitness important here? How are they connected? You have to tell the reader that directly. That is the kind of analysis that brings an essay to the possibility of a higher score. Structurally, that's probably the most important thing you will do in your essays.
Thank you for reading my suggestions about your essays. I hope you get a top score on your GRE.
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You have done a good job with these. I have offered suggetions in order to help you bring your writing to another level. If this was not what you wanted, please just ignore my post.
There are some places here that show lack of control of idiom. I haven't made every correction, but given you some examples to start with.
Essay 1:
In paragraph 1, you did a very good job writing an example of what you want to persuade your audience to do.The example in the each paragraph needs to be tied to the thesis statement.
You have made some assertions without providing evidence to back them up. For example, you say that consistently praising positive actions encourages students to associate positive feelings with the actions, but you offer no evidence of this assertion. Provide the evidence and then analyze the evidence.
"utilize training" isn't idiomatic. When you use such expressions, you are at a level of diction that is at odds with other expressions you have used. It is jarring to the reader, and will get you a lower score.
"Posive actions", "positive feelings" and "positive response" Can you avoid repeating your use of positive three times in once sentence?
You've used some form of better 3x in the first 3 sentences - twice in one of them. Vary your word choice when you edit your draft before submitting. And do make time to allow for editing."annoyed with" not "of".
Your use of the semicolon in the second paragraph is not appropriate, because the first half of that cannot stand as a complete sentence.
Why have you put the word "students" in quotation marks? It isn't necessary or customary.
Similarly, you've used the word "kid" three times in the second paragraph.
You have a jarring mix of colloquialism and formality. Grandpa and daddy don't really go with the tone of the rest of the expressions.
"Tender parts" is far too colloquial. The example itself isn't apt. Is there a more clear and helpful example to illustrate your point?You have used exclamation points where the simple period would be more effective.
"neither" and "either" should not go in the same clause.
You can't hear a spanking.
Example 2
This essay will be stronger without all of the questions. Make more declarative statements, so that you make your case more firmly. Sprinkle in a question here and there, but vary the types of sentences you use.Can you rephrase the following: "superiority in one or the other research"?
"I recently heard of a native village in Africa" seems too anecdotal. For the GRE, do not make up evidence. Use actual evidence if that is at all possible. Middle school teachers used to tell their students to make up something that could sound plausible as evidence, but this is not appropriate for college level writing.
Make sure to end direct questions with a question mark.
Break down the final sentence in paragraph 2 so that it is more clear. Perhaps 2 or three sentences out of that one long one.
Paragraph 3: "evidence that indicates"
Do the children need to talk more with their parents, or the adults need to talk more with their parents? Just clarify this a bit.
Use a coordinating conjunction, not just a comma: "Did they teach the kids, or (and, and also, and in addition...) offer them food and shelter?"
deem is not used idiomatically in paragraph 3.Why are you putting the word "rearing" in quotation marks?
In the final paragraph, Dr. Field's needs that apostrophe because you are using the name possessively. (You did that once, but need to both times in that paragraph.)
"In contradiction with" (not of)Remove the final brackets and set off the phrase by commas.
In general, you are using words like "hence" "therefore" and "clearly" without offering the analysis that will bring these essays into the higher score range.
Something else that will help you: take a few minutes to plan your writing before you start to write, and allow yourself a few minutes to edit before the time is up. For each paragraph, make sure you back up your main point, and then connect that paragraph's main point to your thesis statement.
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Who is the audience for these?
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Your reasons for wanting to leave school A (the school you are about to go to) are yours, and that is up to you. Is this matter still open to your changing your mind? What is the problem with the location? Is there some way around that problem that could get you to want to stay at School A? I am not trying to change your mind. Just wondering if you could find a way to stay in what is at least in some respects a good situation, at least financially, or if the location is truly a dealbreaker.
Does school A have a Masters you can get on the way to the PhD? If it does, you could consider leaving at the end of the Masters. As TakeruK pointed out, it is likely that you will have to start your whole program over again in school x (whatever second new school you would get accpted to). You will also want LOR from school A, in order to apply to the new school.
How long do you expect your school A program to take, through comps? (Some people work more quickly than others.) Is your funding renewable for a certain amount of time (3 or 4 years, for example?)
School A is a sure bet. If you don't get other acceptances, would you stay at school A anyway? Or would you drop out altogether? What if you get accepted without funding to school x?
Do you like the professors in school A?
If you have been granted funding with tuition at school x, you will not have to pay back tuition at school A for the years you complete in good standing, as long as you fulfill the terms of your TA contract. You should be able to anonymously call school A and verify this in advance.
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1 hour ago, fuzzylogician said:
What field are you in?
Thank you so much for your response. I am in Teacher Preparation. And I am mostly venting about this. Maybe I should take up drinking instead! I am sure when I get over myself, I will remember that none of this matters. My advisors and committee surely know what they are doing, and they know much more than I do.
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After I got told to remove all of the things I thought would be useful have in my MA thesis, the defense question I can't really answer: what good is this thesis. (My answer: not much). The solution, of course, is not going to be to put back what I think belongs there. No. I will have to add small sections of summary and text boxes explaining little things throughout the text. Instead of the useful material, so that the product will turn out to look like some other book the committee admires. The problem is, I don't think such books are useful or good, but apparently that is what the committee has agreed on.
And then in the fall I have been asked to take another course and re-address the topic of my thesis, (as I work toward my PhD) because it has potential. Did I mention that I was specifically told to save all the things I had to take out of the thesis? Because I am going to use most of them for this thing in the fall. But I have to make that new product look like some other book series they all admire. A book series that I hate and don't want any part of because I don't think it's good or helpful.
My advisor very much wants me to do all this, and wants to do something good for me. My advisor thinks this is the good thing to do. This advisor is usually right, but I just can't see it here. I guess this is my ego getting in the way. And my advisor taught me so much, which is a debt I can't ever repay. So I will probably do all of this and it's eating me alive with the futility of it and the anger. I believe what I am going to produce is utterly bad and crappy. And they are going to love it. But I feel like I am just going to be wasting everyone's time.
I need to pull my ego out of this.
Any ideas how?
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I heard that you should not nap and not eat anything for 16 hours before going to bed at the normal local bedtime the first day. But I didn't do that, because it sounds really hard to do. I am not a well-traveled person, and I am older, so maybe what worked for me was a fluke: I took one nap for 1.5 hours at about 11 am local time. When I woke up, I took a shower, ate a substantial snack, and went for a walk. Then I carried on with the rest of my day. However, I was only 6 hours outside my normal time zone. Maybe I was just lucky.
Spending time in Europe sounds lovely!
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You could add a category at the end called "Related experience".
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On 6/12/2016 at 2:15 PM, alfredadler said:
Hi everyone, I just found this forum and was wondering if you could help me. I am a student in the University of Prishtina, Kosovo. I am in my last year of studies in General Psychology. I am looking to get a Master's degree in General Psychology at NYU. I'm not content with the level of education in Kosovo, and in order to advance to a phD program I want to (in a way) repeat my general psychology knowledge and make leeway to get into a good phD program. My main concern however is the GRE. Is it as hard as people say? I have been in Kosovo's school system for about a decade now, and have no good knowledge of these types of tests. Is there any good material I can find online that will orient me towards higher test scores? And a final question: is it too hard to get in NYU? What are your experiences with college admissions?
Thank you all so much in advance!
The test is tiring, because you have to select "all of the right answers" not just light on the first right answer you see.
Long-term, sustained preparation will help you do well on the GRE. Use the Online test information provided on the GRE web site. Make sure you understand all of the tasks required.
For writing, make sure you are answering the prompt. Test day is not the time to get fancy. Keep it simple and clear. Plan your answer before you begin writing.Allow time so that you may reread what you wrote.
NYU is a competitive school. Work on your personal statement, as that is a key part of your admission portfolio.
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Well, if I were you, and I'm not, I would study for the GRE and take it again. You want to improve the writing substantially, and also inch up your verbal and quant. I'm glad you have people around you now who know how to work with your strengths. It's these strengths that you will have to write about in your personal statement: and that can't be wishy washy, so take out all of the negative things you have ever heard, and write about the positive, and how this will strengthen the program you are looking to attend. Start that personal statement now, and get an experienced advisor to help you edit and improve it. I think this is the most difficult part of our application package. You want to get it right.
The problem with testing is that once we get the idea that we're not good at it, it can be difficult to shut that narrative up and just get on with it. The best thing you can do to shut up that narrative is study, over a lengthy period of time, the material that the test is designed to cover, hopefully with a tutor or a friend, and exercise your iron will on test day.
The only problem that I see with your LORs is that you don't mention any from a university. You will probably need 3, so is there a professor in your field who will write a LOR for you? A good one?
Get ready to do this, and apply to at least 10 schools. The object is funding. You often have to invest for that to happen. I wouldn't retake that class yet. I'd work on the GRE, and perhaps think about an MAT (not a PostBacc). Think about applying to one MAT program, and tell them you want to be considered for funding. That teaching credential is going to open up your options in terms of your ultimate goal.
- knp and MerleSquirrel
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46 minutes ago, MerleSquirrel said:
I graduated two years ago with an undergraduate degree in CSD. My major GPA is 3.1 and overall a 2.8. I had some testing woes and a few non-CSD filler classes slay the GPA.
I'm sorry about your testing difficulties. And I'm sorry about your advisor not being very helpful or kind. Is this testing issue just the once, or is it a pattern with testing, in general? Either way, it is not impossible to overcome, but you could get different advice depending on your specific situation. Who is writing these LORs? Have you written your personal statement yet? How is your CV, otherwise? Have you been able to review any books or publish any articles in peer-reviewed journals? If you haven't yet, don't worry. Most BA's haven't. But these are areas for you to work on later. If you retake a class that you earned a C+, doesn't that grade stay on your transcript and remain averaged in to your GPA? When did you take the GRE? How did that go? What was your strongest area on the GRE?
Have you considered an intermediate MA in SLA or ESL? Do you have a teaching license? Can you combine ESL with a MAT? This can help you build your confidence as you improve your teaching skills and add to your resume. You will make connections in the field experiences for the MAT. And as you are doing all of that, you are inching closer to your dream.
Could you afford to be a FT graduate student, or are you looking to go to school while working? Are you willing to relocate?
I think I have asked more questions than given answers. I hope the questions get you thinking about a different route to get where you want. Sort of "go around" instead of "go over".
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43 minutes ago, shadowzoid said:
My fear is not that I won't become a superstar. I couldn't care less about that. My fear is that I'm wasting my prime years. My fear isn't that I can't get a PhD - I know I can - but that I won't be as productive getting it later. And I value productivity from internal validation - it makes me happy to get 'aha' moments even if no one finds out I did. But I understand that many people outside academia have gone on to do great things, and so perhaps that's the mentality I should focus on.
Don't focus on getting a PhD in order to be productive. Be productive now. Sure, you will change the ways you offer value to society based on all of your life experiences, but it really is bunk to say that you are wasting your prime years if you don't complete a PhD by then.
45 minutes ago, shadowzoid said:To this effect, I hope to take at least 2 PhD-level courses so that I understand what a PhD will be like.
PhD isn't really about the courses. It's the lonely and lengthy periods of writing that hold people back. Many of those who don't finish a PhD aren't having trouble with the coursework or the comps. It's the dissertation - and with that, it's mainly the process. To that end, you could consider making sure you do some serious writing for publication.
On 6/9/2016 at 10:59 PM, shadowzoid said:I feel like as the years go, my choices just narrow.
Yes, life is a process of narrowing of choices. Each choice we make tends to tighten the circle of possibility. Embrace it. It's life. Work with it, not against it. It's not something to fear or worry about.
5 hours ago, Nightly said:Have you considered visiting the counseling services available in your area?
I think this is a good suggestion. A woman who works in the counseling center in my institution says that their grad student clients outnumber the undergraduate clients 5 to 1.
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This bothered me so I went to check. https://www.ets.org/disabilities/test_takers/faq/
"I heard that ETS is no longer flagging test scores that are reported to score recipients. Is this true?
ETS has discontinued flagging almost all scores for tests that are taken with accommodations. For example, if a test taker receives additional time or extra breaks, the score will no longer be flagged in the report. In rare instances, ETS will flag the score report as a "nonstandard administration" only if the test is significantly altered."
- coffeecode and Kaede
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50 minutes ago, Kaede said:
I normally get double time on my exams for a documented disability. I have heard that if you take the GRE with accommodations, that that is noted on the scores sent to the schools. Would that put me at a disadvantage? Would it be better to get a lower score and not have schools know I took extra time, or is the higher score worth it? (I am applying to bio programs)
The law says that your disability cannot count against you. So any school that did count a disability against you would be in violation of the law. I am surprised that ETS could be legally permitted to state in the score report that accommodations were provided to you. I think you should check this with ETS. stassd@ets.org. It could be one of those urban legends.
- Kaede and coffeecode
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On 6/11/2016 at 3:18 AM, bobbystrange said:
I am looking to go into a Masters course and potentially obtaining an PhD in the future. The college I graduated from only offers day classes for some reason and that is out of the question. Besides they only take the top 5 out of 200 students each year to participate in their grad school program. I am very hesitant on picking an online college, I am not sure why, I guess it is just a feeling. Eventually, I would like to use my degrees to get a job in counseling or something related.
In what discipline? Many universities offer online courses, and you can see the delivery method in the course catalogue. I think it would be easier to give you advice if we knew what degree (not just MA or PhD, but in what.) Are you looking at Phsychology or Social work? Or something I didn't think of...?
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7 hours ago, jule said:
Hello,
I am an undergraduate looking to apply for political science or political economy phd programs this coming fall. I am a political science and economics double major, but have not taken many stat/math classes. There are online calculus classes available this summer, and I was wondering if taking such courses is significantly important in showing your quantitative research abilities and skill assets in the admissions process.
As of now, I am working on my senior honors thesis in the econ department and studying for the GREs.
As the deadline for enrolling in the online classes is very soon, I'd appreciate any advice!
Your discipline could be different, but in my program, the required courses are in statistics, not calculus. Take a look online to see if there are course requirements at a PhD program you are interested in, and look at the prerequisites for the courses you would be expected to take. For example, at USC, here's a description of a course: POIR 610 Research Design Units: 4 The course will cover the design of experimental and observational research. We will examine both quantitative and qualitative approaches to social science research. Registration Restriction: Open only to doctoral students.
For a course like that, it is expected that you have taken a college course in statistics. At the same school, here's that description: An introduction to the basic tools of statistics. Descriptive statistics; probability; expected value; normal approximation sampling; chance models; tests of significance. Recommended Preparation: MATH 040 or math placement exam. Not available for major credit to Math students. Instruction Mode: Lecture, Discussion
Your advisors in your department should be able to direct you to the prerequisites that are the most apt. Ask the advisors from whom you have requested a LOR. And make your LOR request soon, if you haven't already taken care of this.
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I'm 53 going into my first year of a PhD. Just now finishing masters. You bring a different perspective to the department. They will be glad to have you. It's different going back to school as a non-traditional learner.
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Just now, Danger_Zone said:
Yes I will be a TA, so I assumed I would be in school until exams are finished and grades are turned in. I have the calendar and schedule provided by my school online, but I wanted to be sure that this schedule applied to all students. I was thinking of checking with my department to be 100% sure.
I bet it does, but if you're going to be buying tickets, it wouldn't hurt to ask to make sure that the dates apply to you!
And congratulations on your placement.
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1 hour ago, TheWaves said:
Hello everyone!
I have always been a lingerer on this forum (even through the application process!), but I now have a question I want to explicitly ask. I'm curious about how much you all think grades matter during a PhD program/once one is on the job market. Obviously, it is ideal to have a transcript that has mainly A grades (or perhaps some A- grades), but does it make a difference at all if a person has, e.g., one B+. In other words, if a person has a transcript made up of A grades, but has one B+, does this matter at all? I was always under the impression that grades do not matter that much once in a PhD program (They matter for scholarship applications and maintaining good standing in the department, but more important are one's dissertation, conference presentations, publications, etc). However, I was speaking with a colleague about this topic the other day, and he was under the impression that grades in your PhD program DO matter on the job market, and grades below an A- can raise red flags.
Thanks in advance for your thoughts!
It's possible that Philosophy is different from my experience, but I have only had to provide transcripts for academic jobs, such as Kaplan, and work in schools and colleges. And even so, a B here and there doesn't matter. Just do your best in all of your classes. What did your advisor say when you asked them? And this is a very interesting question, so I am going to be watching to see what other answers you get. Let's say the A- does raise red flags: what would you do about it? Is there anything you could do? I would guess all you could do is make the most of the rest of your portfolio.
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22 minutes ago, Danger_Zone said:
Do grad students get the same breaks as undergrads, such as a couple weeks in December for Christmas? I'm planning on booking a week long vacation sometime in December or January, but wanted to be certain that I'd have that time off and am not expected to keep doing work during the holidays (not that I wouldn't if I felt it was needed though, of course.) But then again some people act like you never get a break..
In general, the academic calendar's list of breaks applies to everyone, and you should be able to find that now on the Internet for your school. However your department could possibly have other ideas. Be sure to observe the exam schedule, too. Are you going to be a TA? You will probably have to turn in your grades first. Everyone takes break at the same time in all of the places I know of.
- Danger_Zone and 5kids
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2 hours ago, dr_lee said:
I graduated from a top school in my country in 2011. Due to some health reasons, I graduated with ~2.6 GPA.
There's always a chance, but you want to maximize it. Is there any chance of you repairing your GPA by retaking some courses that you didn't do well in? How are your GRE or other scores? Do you have advisors who will write strong letters of rec?
I hope you are well now.
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Do you have an end-goal for your extended education? Is it for personal enrichment, employment advancement, or something else. Are you looking for more classes in psychology, to get another degree... none of the above? I think your answers will have some bearing on the ultimate decision you make as to where you plan to attend school. That being said, many schools have an online component. I bet your alma mater for your BA does too. You probably knew that already, so, were you looking for something they can't offer? Good luck!
how close is ETS GRE practice test to their real test?
in Questions and Answers
Posted
They are pretty similar, in my experience. Take a little more time answering your first questions in each section because the questions vary depending on how you are doing. Don't panic, just power your way through it. Make sure you get a good night's sleep, dress comfortably, and don't eat anything unusual for breakfast - just what you usually eat. At this point, you want to be running on all cylinders.