redikulus

Isn't it funny? It's like we don't need to know that we have a good option available. It's that we want to know what the F we'll be doing in the future. Knowing we'll be okay isn't enough, which is just the weirdest to me.

@DBear From what I've talked with other professors about, being this old is a two-edged sword.
1) On the plus side; They love people who are mature, know who they are, can communicate properly, aren't stupid, and aren't Millennials, there's no other way to say that nicely.
2) Also; We tend to be here for better reasons, which means we will put in more effort and give up on ourselves less easily because we have more realistic goals.
3) On the other hand; They want young people who they can mold and develop into future tenure-track professors - who will stay on in their position for a LONG time - older people don't have as much time for all that, so we don't offer as much in that respect, we don't offer as much future time in a career, and in that respect, even if they only think it subconsciously, we aren't perceived as a good prospect.
4) Another negative; Older people are often perceived as less-likely to drink any koolaid - to put it more nicely, we are less likely to be "properly" indoctrinated into a discipline without fighting with our ideals and opinions. Basically the same reason the military won't take a fresh person in past a certain age, even for desk work.

On that note, I've noticed a lot of "college is necessary right after high school" propaganda-koolaid drinkers in the millennial population. And I feel kind of sorry for them. Because I really am glad I worked and supported myself for a while when I was younger and actually know how to navigate the work force, and get promoted for solely merit-based reasons. When I was younger, it seemed like there was less people who thought they were just entitled to a job, or entitled to a promotion based solely on some factor or other. That's a new thing and I feel sorry for the kids I'm in school with because they have no understanding of reality. Two people in my masters with me, a guy in his late twenties and a girl about 30, both complained that no one ever taught them how to do anything before they ended up in the world on their own. I guess the difference is that, as a gen-x-er, that experience happened when I was a teenager, so by the time I was their age, I was a pro at taking care of myself. That was normal for a lot of people my age. I get the sense parents "protect" their children now by not teaching them anything. I feel really bad for them.

"Hello, this is Pamela, how are you doing today"
"Uh... hello?"
"Recently you or a family member participated in a promotional event-"
"Oh F#$%@ $%@$& @#$&."
(just kidding, I'm pretty nice to those people, but that was what my brain was thinking)

I wanted to say something like this but I wasn't sure how to do so politely. I'm not sure this was quite right either. I've noticed a lot of young people, especially the typical college-aged person these days, has very little experience of rejection, so I don't think they are as well equipped to deal with it. The changes to the K12 environment, helicopter parenting, "everyone gets a trophy" attitudes, class-level entitlement, the general privilege of the average poster on these forums, etc. I think it's a lot more complicated than "get some perspective." But I don't have the solution either. The title of this thread is correct "rejection hurts," but some of us have a lot of life experience which lends perspective and the ability to manage emotions and others don't. I try to remember that this is the type of person I'm chatting with here on these forums, and that the differences between us aren't going to be rectified by posts over the internet.

I wanted to say something like this but I wasn't sure how to do so politely. I'm not sure this was quite right either. I've noticed a lot of young people, especially the typical college-aged person these days, has very little experience of rejection, so I don't think they are as well equipped to deal with it. The changes to the K12 environment, helicopter parenting, "everyone gets a trophy" attitudes, class-level entitlement, the general privilege of the average poster on these forums, etc. I think it's a lot more complicated than "get some perspective." But I don't have the solution either. The title of this thread is correct "rejection hurts," but some of us have a lot of life experience which lends perspective and the ability to manage emotions and others don't. I try to remember that this is the type of person I'm chatting with here on these forums, and that the differences between us aren't going to be rectified by posts over the internet.

@DBear From what I've talked with other professors about, being this old is a two-edged sword.
1) On the plus side; They love people who are mature, know who they are, can communicate properly, aren't stupid, and aren't Millennials, there's no other way to say that nicely.
2) Also; We tend to be here for better reasons, which means we will put in more effort and give up on ourselves less easily because we have more realistic goals.
3) On the other hand; They want young people who they can mold and develop into future tenure-track professors - who will stay on in their position for a LONG time - older people don't have as much time for all that, so we don't offer as much in that respect, we don't offer as much future time in a career, and in that respect, even if they only think it subconsciously, we aren't perceived as a good prospect.
4) Another negative; Older people are often perceived as less-likely to drink any koolaid - to put it more nicely, we are less likely to be "properly" indoctrinated into a discipline without fighting with our ideals and opinions. Basically the same reason the military won't take a fresh person in past a certain age, even for desk work.

hmm. I feel like I just answered a question like this in the last couple of days. Everyone is freaking out. Let's just all admit it. We're freaking out. We want information. This wouldn't happen if the schools all agreed to notify everyone at the same time. That way the entire nation/world would get their acceptances/rejections at the same time. No freaking out. Sadly, that would require a level of coordination our professors do not possess.

that is SO sweet! aww. I love it!

Some POIs call and others never do. Not all POIs bother with that and let the graduate school take care of sending letters, etc.

Sleep well.

I don't think I'll be applying again after this, tbh. My husband and I are actually in the process of buying a house anyway, so realistically, 2017 will be a win/win for me either way. 

Some of these posts make me think about this lady at my school. She's about 75 and she's been slowly plowing through her Masters degree for years. She lives on campus with the kids, and she's always there, slowly walking to class, or sitting somewhere doing her homework. One year I had a dorm apartment across from her and that's how I got to know about her. I think she might be the oldest person at school and she appears to work harder than most of the freshmen. I think it's pretty cool. I feel pretty old sometimes, but that keeps it real to me. And also reminds me to hurry up already. I have a couple professors who tease me about my age whenever they see me. "When are you going to graduate?!!" Whenever I feel annoyed by the kids in my classes, I remember how hard it must be for her...

Last week, on my 51st birthday, I was accepted into a PhD program for School Psychology. I am beyond happy. I had a 20 year, very successful career before returning to finish my BA 2 1/2 years ago. My children are grown (my youngest getting his BA one week before me) and my husband and I are able to relocate. I feel incredibly fortunate to have this opportunity at this stage of my life. I am doing this for myself and because I want to make a difference. I hope to enter the world of academia since I would love the opportunity to conduct research and train future school psychologists. I love my exposure to younger students and I think it provides a mutually beneficial relationship. In addition, I am hopeful that I am setting a great example for my kids and my 8 year old granddaughter. Can you tell that I am loving this??  Congratulations to all of the "older" students posting here. 

Yesterday I turned off my phone so I wouldn't even know if those jerks were calling me. I was trying to punish them for not calling me sooner. Also, I hate my inbox.

lol
You make the "forget to tell the applicant" jokes, but it did happen to me at one school. I found out unofficially I was accepted (from a grad student friend at that school who organizes the prospective student visits and they saw my name) but I didn't hear anything from a prof for days. Finally I got a phone call. I asked the students about it later and it they told me Prof X was supposed to call me but they kept forgetting....so another prof had to do it for them!

When I go to check my email, I estimate the probability of something new having arrived from a prospective university:
12:00am; 5% Highly unlikely, but still not zero
1:00am; 3% Less likely than midnight, but some professors are burning the midnight oil
2:00am; 5% My poor math deduces that if they are awake in the middle of the night, 2am sounds like a good time to email me after all. Check email.
3:00am; 2% If they were going to email in the middle of the night, they probably would have done so already
4:00am; 7% Some professors are cray-cray morning people after all
5:00am; 12% Better time for a morning person to consider it appropriately late enough to send an email out without seeming strange
6:00am; 12% Some of the early morning folks may have gone for a jog first and then had a snack or walked their dog and are only now getting to their email
7:00am; 15% Before leaving for work, someone may wrap up a few pending tasks, like sending me an email
8:00am; 25% First thing in the morning when getting to the office, a fantastic time to both accept and reject someone
9:00am; 20% A slightly less acceptable time to accept someone, but still perfectly acceptable for a rejection
10:00am; 25% An email after a brief meeting to finish making those final applicant decisions
11:00am; 20% They may send me something during a late morning meeting, from their phone, while ignoring the speaker, and acting like they are doing important business on their phone
12:00pm; 20% Right before lunch, they send out some satisfying emails that have been weighing on them, so they can go out to lunch satisfied
1:00pm; 6% The back from lunch now, forgotten email, rush send they intended to send during the morning and have recollected only now that they are well fed
2:00pm; 20% Final decisions were made after a long lunch meeting where some fights broke out and coffee was thrown
3:00pm; 15% After-lunch meeting closes calmly with no thrown coffee, applicants decided
4:00pm; 10% Private meetings in dark corners bring final decisions to a close in the late afternoon
5:00pm; 15% They save the feel-good happy acceptance email message for the end of the day
6:00pm; 20% "Oh crap, I totally forgot to send those acceptance emails" -on the way out the door
7:00pm; 12% Professor arrives at home, "Oh crap, I totally forgot to send those acceptance emails."
8:00pm; 10% Over dinner, "Oh crap, I totally forgot to send those acceptance emails."
9:00pm; 6% Late night fighting continued over final applicant decisions in office overtime. Pizza was thrown. It wasn't whether or not to accept me, but who got to have me. Rawr. 
10:00pm; 10% The meeting transitioned into primetime TV watching and over soothed nerves they finally decided to throw some dice
11:00pm; 8% The toughest of decisions was resolved by transforming applications into paper airplanes and competing for flying distance
Note: These numbers do not add up to 100%  

I should be working on several projects right now, and also writing my thesis. I think a lot of us are like this. I was fine. I was concentrating. Then some people posted that they got acceptance emails to the program I want. Now all I can do is refresh my email. So that's my next 24 hours.

Yep, I won't bore you with my life's story, but I'm a 32 y/o nontraditional student finishing up a B.A. I've been working full-time since I was 17; I finally got my life settled down enough to go back to school and finish. I'm applying to a small handful of Ph.D. programs in my field. No clue what my chances are, but I figure it's worth the time/money/anguish.
 
I can absolutely understand why you find this insulting/sexist/degrading, but I genuinely don't (and I'm a raging feminist who constantly seeks out things to harp on) . These POIs/AdComms have one priority above all others: making sure the people they admit (and typically fund with large sums of money) finish the degree. I worked with a guy who told me a similar story--he was probably late thirties at the time, married, and they asked if he had kids (he did) and how he would handle that commitment. He rationally explained that he understood the time commitments, had a partner to help out with the kids, didn't believe that it would interfere with his teaching/research, and understood their hesitance. He ended up getting fully funded. I'd liken the situation to me stating that I had a 50/hr a week salaried career, and I really loved it, and there's no way I could possibly quit while going to graduate school; I wouldn't expect this to rule me out, or even negatively affect my chances, but I'd find it odd if they didn't ask about my outside commitments (when they had reason to believe those commitments might exist). Raising kids (as I'm sure you know) is more than a full-time job, and many people would argue that completing a Ph.D. program in a timely fashion is also more than a full-time job. Working two full-time jobs is going to really, seriously, severely wear on somebody over 4-6 years with minimal breaks. They're just covering their bases to make sure their prospective candidate understands what they're signing themselves up for.