lemondrop825

It's unclear at what stages OP is in in his master's program. We do not know if the proposal OP sent is a final proposal. We do not know if this program requires formal proposals. Not all master's programs work the same way and some advisors treat proposals more flexibly than others. It could just be an informal proposal as part of discussions to settle on a more exact topic/questions.
 
I have no idea what this has to do with anything in this discussion. It's pretty clear he does not want to work with the PhD because that research is not related to the type of research he wants to do. I didn't recommend OP send a formal complaint. I didn't know grad students could even do this. In some programs students are encouraged to talk with grad program advisors if they have disagreements with their advisors to help mitigate the situation. Obviously this comes with risks, but OP will have to decide if this is worth it. This is not the same as sending a formal complaint.

You are putting words into my mouth. OP said they AGREED on a topic and seems the advisor went back on their word. I didn't say the advisor is required to advise a student on a project they don't want to advise (but it sounds like they AGREED on a topic before taking them on). But at the same time, an advisor can't dictate what a student's project is. An IMPORTANT part of training grad students is allowing them to develop their own questions. Dictating projects to students is a sign of a bad advisor. OP did not say whether they are using the advisor's grant money or not.  If that is the case the student is not a student, but an employee. All we have is the OPs version of the relationship. I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt. Also, we have no idea what the advisor's contractual work obligations are. Regardless, if an assistant professor takes a student on they should support the student. It is part of their duties to run a successful research program and that includes supporting students. I have no idea how an assistant professor expects to make tenure if they do not want to work over the summer.

I have to disagree with the other posters. I think you are in the right. You said you "agreed on a thesis topic." I do not think a student-advisor relationship is so one-sided that students cannot have a say in what she/he studies. Part of a thesis is that students learn how to formulate his/her questions and topics. If you are using your advisors grant money to fund your research that is one thing. But if you are not receiving any money or stipend for this, I do not think this is right. As someone who has completed a master's based thesis, the summer is a crucial time especially if you TA during the school year so I get that you are frustrated that your advisor is not around. I know that advisors have other responsibilities, but they need to balance this with supporting their students. If you can't come to an agreement, I have known several students who have switched advisors. It's been done before. Try to speak to the graduate advisor to mitigate this situation. 

I have to disagree with the other posters. I think you are in the right. You said you "agreed on a thesis topic." I do not think a student-advisor relationship is so one-sided that students cannot have a say in what she/he studies. Part of a thesis is that students learn how to formulate his/her questions and topics. If you are using your advisors grant money to fund your research that is one thing. But if you are not receiving any money or stipend for this, I do not think this is right. As someone who has completed a master's based thesis, the summer is a crucial time especially if you TA during the school year so I get that you are frustrated that your advisor is not around. I know that advisors have other responsibilities, but they need to balance this with supporting their students. If you can't come to an agreement, I have known several students who have switched advisors. It's been done before. Try to speak to the graduate advisor to mitigate this situation. 

@lemondrop825, yes, they exist but many are "cash cow" programs used to support the PhD students. And since most of the master's programs are at PhD-granting institutions, it's unclear in many cases how much attention/experience master's students acquire during their degree program. Either way, it seems like the OP has picked schools based on their name and without considering other factors like research fit, funding, availability of lab space/mentors, coursework, etc.

I got a professor who agreed to be my MS. thesis adviser (no funding). We agreed on a thesis topic. This summer, she left for abroad and before leaving we discussed thesis topic again, and I mentioned 3 possibilities. She did not object.
Later I sent her a proposal and she rejected it. This is something we've been discussing all along so it's kind of a surprise. She wanted me to work on another project for one of her PhD student. It's not in my interest area, nor expertise. I mentioned this and never got any response from her again, be it email, Slack, whatever. I had to have her PhD student get my words through to her somehow. 
It's not the end of the world for me. I can always go on a course only option and get my Masters, but that'll take one more semester. I guess I'm just really frustrated at her lack of care, total unprofessional-ism, and lack of communication. She's an assistant professor and is always away on trips, giving talks, etc...At this point I doubt I want to work with her anymore but I'm so angry at the unequal relationship and utter disrespect she's shown by totally ignoring me, even to small requests like setting up a short meeting when she comes back ( for closure, if anything).
I want to file a complaint on her. Will this affect her chance of getting tenure?

1. I have not thrown a tantrum to her directly. I've been very respectful to her so far. (why is everyone here so biased toward the professors and automatically assume things?)
2. Even though it's only 10 pages, it's highly compressed and is not to be taken lightly. She wants it to have a chance of getting published. Project C is outside my interest area, is something I need to start from scratch, requires carrying out an experiment that's outside my experience, and very likely to not get decent results. There is too much of a risk of all efforts for nothing. I told her that. 
3. Yes, there is a failure in communication, due to her not replying my emails. A simple "you can only do C because I won't sign off on A or B" would suffice and make my decision making easier, and bring closure. I understand professors have the right to determine what they want you to work on. 
4. I cannot hurt her tenure. Only the department can. If only students have that kind of power... The fact that I brought it up here to get some other opinions means that I don't want to take that route. But I do feel mistreated and I need to vent.
 

First, of all, it's a Masters thesis, not a Phd thesis. Most Masters thesis in our department are around 10 pages, much like a paper.
We did agree on a topic early in the spring (Project A..), and I took her class. She mentioned I can work on that project for the class and then my thesis would be half finished. Problem is, she teamed me up with a group and one group member wanted to work on a different project (Project B..) She told me I can do Project B also, and shouldn't feel obligated that I have to do project A. 
At the end of the semester, before she left, we had a meeting. I mentioned the possibility of doing project A or B as my thesis, she did not object. She also mentioned another project (C). Later I sent a proposal on A, she said no. She said C is better. I have no interest in C. I asked why A isn't okay anymore, got no reply. I then proposed B, still no reply. Asked for a short meeting when she's back (this week), still no reply.
Look, at this point I don't care if I end up not writing a thesis, and just get the course only degree. 
 
My only issue is her not replying. That's completely rude. She could tell me something like "hey, I don't feel we are a right fit" or "I can't agree to anything unless...blah blah blah" or whatever and I'd still appreciate that. But for me to propose all those and ask her questions and not get a response is rude beyond belief. It's basically saying "5 minutes of my time is more important than your summer." That's what I want to file a complaint for, not whether she changed her mind on the thesis or whatever. Even on Slack, she never responds to me. The fact that I had to have one of her Phd student send her a message basically tells me she can't communicate and is completely poor in character. I understand Phd students get higher priority but seriously? How about some basic human decency?
At this point, even if she agrees to my original topic, I don't think I want to work with her anymore. I've talked to my grad adviser and I already registered for couple of courses next semester. I'm outta here this year no matter what. But her not replying brings no closure to this. It's like breaking up with someone by just ignoring them and hoping they get the hint. I feel the department should know that because that's bad for future students. 
I have not done anything except sending proposals, asking questions, trying to set up a phone call/meeting, all weeks apart, and got nada. That's what pisses me off.

Now who's fighting straw men? We are trying to explain to you what things look like from the other side, and to provide some rationale for the professor's behavior. No one here (or anywhere, for that matter) claimed that there are no bad advisors. But in this particular case, we can easily see an explanation for the sequence of events the OP describes that doesn't involve malice, incompetence, or really any wrong-doing on the prof's end. I don't think this conversation is helping the OP at this point, so for me, at least, this is the last reply on this topic. 

You are putting words into my mouth. OP said they AGREED on a topic and seems the advisor went back on their word. I didn't say the advisor is required to advise a student on a project they don't want to advise (but it sounds like they AGREED on a topic before taking them on). But at the same time, an advisor can't dictate what a student's project is. An IMPORTANT part of training grad students is allowing them to develop their own questions. Dictating projects to students is a sign of a bad advisor. OP did not say whether they are using the advisor's grant money or not.  If that is the case the student is not a student, but an employee. All we have is the OPs version of the relationship. I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt. Also, we have no idea what the advisor's contractual work obligations are. Regardless, if an assistant professor takes a student on they should support the student. It is part of their duties to run a successful research program and that includes supporting students. I have no idea how an assistant professor expects to make tenure if they do not want to work over the summer.

No one is saying they have to stay with the advisor. They're saying the advisor is totally within their rights to say "here's what I want you to work on if you want me to advise your thesis", or that it's OK for an advisor to reject a proposal even on a general topic that looked good if (a) funding streams have changed, or (b) the idea was interesting, but after reading a fleshed out proposal they no longer think it's good/feasible. Moreover, while the OP seems to not be receiving a stipend (direct funding), my guess is there's indirect funding coming in (office/lab space, computers, programs, etc), and that still dictates projects. 
Similarly, no advisor is "required" to supervise a thesis on a topic they don't want to. @lemondrop825 it seems like you're implying that the professor should "have" to supervise a topic just because it's what the students ants to work on? You also seem to be assuming they should be volunteering their time during the summer when they aren't paid (or contractually required) to be around. 

I have to disagree with the other posters. I think you are in the right. You said you "agreed on a thesis topic." I do not think a student-advisor relationship is so one-sided that students cannot have a say in what she/he studies. Part of a thesis is that students learn how to formulate his/her questions and topics. If you are using your advisors grant money to fund your research that is one thing. But if you are not receiving any money or stipend for this, I do not think this is right. As someone who has completed a master's based thesis, the summer is a crucial time especially if you TA during the school year so I get that you are frustrated that your advisor is not around. I know that advisors have other responsibilities, but they need to balance this with supporting their students. If you can't come to an agreement, I have known several students who have switched advisors. It's been done before. Try to speak to the graduate advisor to mitigate this situation. 

You first say that you agreed on a thesis topic, then you say you mentioned three possibilities. Which is it? If you agreed on a topic, then pursued a different topic and submitted a proposal, I can see why it was rejected. You say "She wanted me to work on another project for one of her PhD student." Was that a suggestion for a thesis topic or did she just want you to work with the PhD student to develop ideas? I just finished my MA thesis in the spring semester just ended. A master's thesis proposal is due before the semester in which one writes the thesis begins. When is your proposal due? If it's not due until end of fall semester, with the writing of thesis in spring semester, you have a lot of time and have worked yourself into a tizzy over nothing. If you write in the fall, then you should have dealt with all of this in the spring, nailing down your topic and getting your proposal submitted and approved before she left. If you don't even have a topic, what about the huge amount of research and reading required before writing a thesis? When will you do that? I can tell you that writing an approximately 100 page document in one semester is enormous and if you expect to do the research, read and write it all in one semester, then you have another think coming. It's just not possible, to produce something of quality from start to finish in that period of time. Ideally, in my own little opinion, agreement of topic with advisor, research, read, proposal, write is the order one should pursue in developing a thesis. I started looking around at topics and doing preliminary research at the beginning of my master's. It took that whole school year to decide on a topic. At the end of May, 2016 I had decided on a topic and met with my advisor for lunch to discuss everything and get her ideas because she had already been there. In some ways, it seems you have procrastinated (don't we all?) and now expect a professor who does not work in the summer to be at your beck and call to fix this for you.

As others said here, I don't think you are in the right in this case. As a Masters (or even a PhD) student, you don't get to choose your research project and your advisor does not have to take your research ideas into consideration when assigning you work to do. Ultimately, it is your advisor's prerogative to assign you to work on whatever he or she wants you to work on, and it's your choice if you want to work for that advisor or not. Keep in mind that for the majority of students, because funding is tied to whatever projects have grants, I would say that the vast majority of students are working on projects that their advisors chose and designed, not the other way around.
if an advisor led you to believe that you would be working on X and then suddenly changed it to Y without a good reason, then that wouldn't be good behaviour. In your case, I don't see anything that should have caused you to believe that you get to decide your own project ("no objection" is not the same as "approval"). However, that's not necessarily something that is worthy of a complaint.
In addition, there are often lots of good reasons for an advisor to want their student to suddenly switch projects. For example, if a grant proposal didn't get funded, it might mean the advisor needs to pay you out of a different grant and therefore needs you to work on another project. In your case, there is no funding, so other valid reasons for switching may be: 1) priorities in the lab/research group changed due to internal or external pressures, so they need people to work on different things now, or 2) another student is more qualified to work in area X so that might mean some other students get switched to area Y. Just a few examples.
So, based on the details here, I'm just saying that what happened to you is normal and acceptable. I don't see any wrongdoing by the professor and I don't see any reason for you to complain. Of course, what you do is your own decision and you don't have to justify it here (e.g. maybe there are more things that you prefer to keep private). But if you are just checking in to see whether something unethical happened or not (this is a good idea since sometimes bad things happen but students just think it's "normal" so bad things continue to happen), I would say that this is a case where there might have been some miscommunication or misunderstanding, but nothing bad happened.

From my experience things are very rarely as one-sided as you describe. I have no intention of helping you hurt someone's tenure case, so let me just mention a few things:
- "She did not object" -- this one reads so wrong to me. She didn't say "yes, go ahead and do one of these"? What did she say? In some other contexts, we would be having a conversation right now about the meaning of consent. 
- "This summer, she left for abroad" ... " "She's an assistant professor and is always away on trips, giving talks, etc..." -- what's the problem here? It's the summer. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that just like at most other universities, she's paid 9 months of the year, but not over the summer. Investing in her career at this time is crucial. It's very common for professors be to less accessible over the summer and to cut down on advising and service (and there's no teaching) because they are not paid to do that over the summer.
- "I mentioned this and never got any response from her again, be it email, Slack, whatever. I had to have her PhD student get my words through to her somehow." -- how long did you wait? Someone who is traveling might take a longer time to reply. See above about not getting paid to advise over the summer. Is this really as time-sensitive as you seem to think it is? Students I am working with, for example, understand that while they may work on proposals over the summer, I will be available to give more extensive feedback in the fall. 
- "Later I sent her a proposal and she rejected it. "" ... I'm so angry at the unequal relationship and utter disrespect she's shown by totally ignoring me..." --- first off, you should get this straight: the relationship is unequal. You are a trainee, not a peer. She is entirely within her rights to ask for changes to a proposal, including ones that may make you unhappy. As for the ignoring you part, see above. 
So my bottom line is this: you asked someone to advise you, and she took you on. You just started working on a proposal, not even agreeing on a topic yet. You wrote something up based on ideas you had that she had apparently not okayed and sent it to her. She read it and commented on it, but suggested a different topic. You objected in an email, which she hasn't responded to yet. Some unclear sequence of events transpired here, where you eventually had a PhD student contact her (we don't know how long you waited and if/how you followed up). Meanwhile, it's the summer, she is pre-tenure, traveling, and working on her case, most likely not even getting paid over the summer for advising-related activities. Now you want nothing more to do with her, and you're looking to harm her career. No, thank you.  

It depends, of course! But the idea that you're a doormat because you're jr faculty is false. For the student you mentioned, who's frequently 30m late to a 1h appointment - I would begin to schedule them for 30m appointments, and make sure I had something else to do at the end of their appointments. I would also have a conversation with them about timeliness, as you're doing them no favors by normalizing behavior that will get them fired once they leave school.
Everyone's late every now and again. That doesn't make habitual lateness any more professional.

I disagree. This is not a matter of personal taste. You are right; others are wrong. Timeliness and remembering to be at the meetings you agreed to is part of being a professional. 
To the original post - yes, this would be a very worrying red flag.

Wow.  Ok so I have a few thoughts here, hopefully I can express them in an organized fashion.
First your fiance........
I understand deciding against buying an overpriced house especially when it is unclear how long the market will be stable, but telling you that commuting over an hour to school while living apart is "totally doable" is not a generous offer.  You don't need to discuss all the details of your relationship, but if you 2 are open to living together prior to the wedding then it seems odd that he wouldn't be interested in renting a place with you that reduces the commute burden (potentially for both of you).  If he's willing to help you with expenses then it seems like living together is an easier way to do that especially if you're getting married next year.  
Commuting to school........
I commuted over an hour for my unfunded Master's program and it worked out well.  I was able to keep my job and health benefits while adjusting my work schedule so that I could time my drive so I didn't sit in traffic.  However, all of those hours on the road were still lost and the extra wear on my car lead to increased maintenance costs.  
Now that I'm in a PhD program I realized immediately that a commute that far would not work with all of the skills and training I wanted to gain.  There are students in my program who live 30+ minutes away (by freeway) and the hassle is evident on their faces.  Sometimes traffic and/or parking is horrendous so they're late.  Sometimes they have to drive to campus for only their lab meeting that ends after 15 minutes or for one client who no shows.  Or something gets left at home or on campus and another trip has to be made.  Other times they have to be in the lab late or see clients late and if their day has already been 10+ hours long a lengthy drive on top of that sucks and could be dangerous.  If their car breaks down and there's no public transit where they live then they're screwed.  
You don't have to live in walking distance of campus, but it is advantageous to be within 10-15 minutes on city streets or have the option of taking public transit quickly.  This is precisely my situation now and its fabulous.  I have more time for studying, seeing clients on or offsite, and lab work.  I don't have to get up very early if I don't want to and even after long days on campus I don't get home so late that I'm too tired to do anything else.  
Living at home.......
I too am an older student and the best decision I made was spending a little bit more to live all by myself in a bigger place.  This way I have a whole room that is an office with plenty of room to brainstorm, cartwheel, or lay on the floor and vent Mindy Lahiri style.  If your parents are familiar with the life of a grad student and a dedicated quiet space can be created for you then that might be different.  But if that isn't an option and their place is too far then do not do this to yourself.  If you and your fiance find a way to live together I highly suggest making sure the place can accommodate your having a dedicated office.  Being able to shut the door on all your school stuff will give you a sense of separation when you take breaks and allow you to immerse yourself in a task while he's home doing something else.
Sticking with your chosen program.......
Ultimately this is going to be your call.  I think your current advisors make a good point that it is very difficult to get into any program with some funding, especially a neuropsych program.  If the faculty you'll have access to are well known in their field and their former students have gone on to successful careers then that is definitely something to keep in mind.  You say the funding package isn't great, but is doable.  You don't have to provide details, but really think about what that means.  Does doable mean only with your fiance's help?  If so that's a big risk if something were to happen with your relationship or his financial situation.  Does doable mean with a few student loans?  If you're still eligible for the federal ones then this isn't a terrible option in my opinion.  If doable means sacrificing your health or safety in some way then its not worth it.
Also think about how challenging application cycles are.  You got into a program for this season, but if you reapply next year that doesn't mean you will.  Programs able to take (and fund) students change, advisors may seek a different fit, other applicants may stand out more than you, and my understanding is professors talk and may find it odd that you rejected a perfectly good offer.  Or you might get several offers and still be unhappy with the funding.  So maybe a good way to look at it is if you reject your current offer and reapply next year, will you be willing to reapply the following year if for some reason you don't get in or find your funded offers lacking?

I'm currently a tech and have been at my current position for a year now (2 years total). Most of the positions I saw and applied to last year before graduating had 2 year commitments. I think 1 year is more normal at the NIH so you might want to consider applying for a postbac IRTA there.

Hello,
 
I was in a very similar position to yours a few years ago. I ended going into industry and getting a well-paying job during the interim but I was voraciously applying to tech positions as well. In my experience, a 2-year commitment was not out of the ordinary but it also was not the norm. I can understand why PI's do it though, a year of mostly training is a lot to put into a person just for them to leave seemingly immediately. That being said, what made the biggest difference for bolstering my application was definitely forging a working relationship with a colleague of mine who was a PhD level scientist. She ended up writing a strong letter of rec for me and I think that, along with another year of research, was what put me over the top and made me able to get into my dream school. Sorry if this wasn't too helpful but I could expand on things if you'd like.

I want to thank those who have responded.  As far as the comments re: first year review: I understand that a review is a place to critique, hopefully constructively (mine was not  constructive) your performance.  I am in a very small cohort, and I have asked those in my cohort about their reviews, and they were either more even handed, definitely more constructive, or, in one case, completely glowing.  Trust me, I am not trying to play the victim, and I do not want to feel this way, but I cannot help but feel that maybe this is a bad fit, and the department feels that way as well.  As a result, I have begun reaching out to other programs to gauge their interest.

I really appreciate the advice on housing and legal issues.  I felt the approach taken by University Housing was wrong when I was faced with it, and they tried to play it off as they do not have to follow state rules regarding evictions, etc.  I have countered in email after doing some more research into Federal rules, and hopefully they will back off a bit.

Orphic, thank you for asking about how I am doing (although, I am actually a working father).  The service provider that was working with my child has offered us family and individual therapy, and we are getting that organized as well.