TheSquirrel

Well, i was told today by another prof that my supervisor didn't think my oral was good... he thought i could elaborate on the questions and often I just gave them a yes/no . the problem is that a lot of the questions were presented that way and I wasn't pressed more. I wasn't even sure what I could say, because they were phrased as purely opinion questions. I think the questions were poorly framed. Not to deflect the fault onto them completely. But I did not have any problem at all with my oral for the 2nd subfield,w here the profs were more insistent on me elaborating .... in fact, I enjoyed it a lot! We did NOT have a comps list. My supervisor was very adamant that we should NOT be given a comps list, that we should pick and choose our own readings. So really, asking me specific questions about specific articles, especially ones that were not key works in the field, didn't make much sense. it wasn't on my list. My supervisor had advised me that if they ask me about a particualr work I hadn't read, I should just say that I haven't read it. Which I did. The problem is that they asked so many of these questions that it might have added up and given an even worse impression than my performance really entailed.... I'm kinda pissed off about that. I didn't really get defensive. I just asked for elaboration and when none was forthcoming, I just said, I don't know cos I haven't read. Anyhow. thanks for the reply. I don't even want to remember what happened on the oral exam. sure, there are lessons to be learned, but it does not do any good to dwell on failures and embarassments.

Well, in the social sciences, if a prof gives a PhD student a B, it's like he's saying, you're A- material if you were a MA student but since you're a PhD student that puts you at a B level. I know one prof who has done this to some PhD students and wrote on their papers that this was a Masters-level quality work, but not as good for the PhD level. Don't get me wrong -- I don't endorse this perspective and think that lots of MA students can give me a run for my money. But that's the attitude of some profs. It could be that it's because in my program, MA and PhD students take courses together. I don't know. I can say that in my program (political science), PhD students are not given A's very easily. Most profs don't entertain A's at all. The highest they'd give is an A-, and that's if you're exceptional. So most of my friends have B+s and B's, and one or two A-s. It also depends on the prof. Some profs are easy graders, others are not. But increasingly, departments are pressuring profs to provide a more believable distribution of grades rather than give everyone A-s or A's, which some profs have tended to do.

Grades matter sometimes, but not all the time. It definitely sets you on the right path in your relations with faculty and how they look at you. On the other hand, if you get one B, it's not the end of the world. Things happen. But I guess if your grades are consistently B's throughout, they may start questioning your abilities or, probably even worse (and more likely, since they would assume that if you got to this level you DO have the ability to do better), question your commitment and whether or not you really care about this. At the same time, getting straight A's is not sufficient for success, clearly. I have straight A's, and I can tell you that when it comes to presentations/giving talk, I tend to do quite poorly, and someone who only had B's on his transcript , has been overshadowing me in that respect. And let's face it, once you pass the comprehensives, no one's going to say, if you can't present well, oh, but she had good grades so it's all fine... So on the one hand, don't kill yourself over grades (learned this the hard way). Use coursework as an opportunity to improve yourself. I unfortunately didn't use it as an opportunity to improve things I was weak on, such as presentation skills, because those were really only worth 5% of the grade or something like that, whereas the great bulk of the grade was dedicated to written work...

That happened to me yesterday, during my oral exam for my field of specialization. I couldn't even answer the simplest questions. My feelings exactly. I'm surprised at how I managed to keep those terrible thoughts down DURING the exam. I could've easily fallen apart during the massive grilling I got. Yup... kinda... but not just that -- it's a way for profs to make themselves feel good. I felt that during my comps. I felt that some of the profs were taking immense joy at asking me the most ridiculous/retarded/difficult questions and seeing my reaction to them and then poking holes in anything and everything I said... At some point, one of the profs asked, Clausewitz said, war is the continuation of politics by other means. Do you agree or disagree? I said... well, there are different interpretations of this. He asked me what those interpretations are.. and I just went completely blank... backtracked, and said, I agree with the statement. And that was that. He said ok and moved on..... He then asked me a couple of very specific questions about the implications of some works by a few scholars, which I hadn't read... I asked him if he could elaborate/rephrase the question. He said "NO." I said, ok, well, then, I have NOT read that article, and so I cannot answer that question if you refuse to give me some details. I was pretty angry at that point. I doubt it's about "character building". Just seeing how well you will do under stress (and partly, showing themselves off). I guess part of it is them trying to simulate a job interview... Ha! How come I never got that? Definitely reeling in shock. Actually broke down during my writtens, and people at the department knew that I was worried sick and super stressed/afraid of it. Maybe that wasn't a good idea on my part -- to show how stressed I was; maybe it was all about seeing how we would behave under stress throughout the semester of preparations for the exam; but I couldn't help it.... Anyhow, what's done is done, and I can't go back and change things. One thing's for sure, if they had thought I was a failure, they should've failed me and used the opportunity to kick me out. If they passed me (or you) , it means they thought you could work on fixing the weaknesses. The only thing I would be worried about, is them fitting you into the category of "passed comps but not super-promising in terms of marketing our PhD program or teaching courses at our university" , while others who did well under stress might end up being categorized into "very good/should go with this guy/girl instead as the "mascot" for our program" (this might be relevant in cases where the phd program is new, as is the case in mine). Or if you have a very demanding supervisor and he's super disappointed in you and might not want to work with you anymore (which I doubt would be the case).

heyyyyy. I just finished/passed my written/oral comps for one of my subfields (my first subfield) and passed my written on my 2nd subfield (orals scheduled for this friday), and I TOTALLY know the feeling.... My supervisor is very very demanding, and I didn't do so well on the oral (even though I did pass).... he emailed me and said we should meet to discuss, and I'm dreading that meeting....................................... I have zero confidence left, especially that some other students seem to be so confident (bordering on the cocky) or otherwise don't show their anxiety about the comps in front of people (unlike me). So yeah, I totally know the feeling, and it would really piss me off a lot if, based on one oral exam, profs change their view of their students, when those students were much better at their coursework / paper-writing than those students who supposedly aced their oral comps because they tend to do better under stress, or are familiar with the style of the exam because they've done comprehensive exams at the masters level too... also, who are we kidding, one oral exam does not prove that you cannot teach well, etc. If anything, you might have better classroom experience than the other students who may have done better during the orals. If they're going to think of it that way, and assume you can't take control of a classroom, it's their loss. I keep telling myself that I shouldn't give a damn, but it's harder than it sounds. And my family doesn't seem to understand this steep and sudden erosion in my confidence levels.... so it's good to see that other grad students come out and talk about this, and that I'm not the only one who feels this way. Feel better. At least they're over now. And you get to get away from it all and busy yourself with your dissertation, etc.

No no, you are not the only one who feels like this. Trust me. My supervisor is very demanding as well, and he freaked out on me a couple of times during my coursework last semester. I was taking a class with him and had a presentation and after my presentation he asked me to come in and talk with him about how it went. And he completely thrashed me...... I was sitting there trying to hold back the tears. He said, next time, I am expecting you to do a great job on your presentation. The next presentation was much better, and he was rather pleased, but told me that I could've done better.... but at least he didn't wipe the floor with me.... so yes, I totally feel the pain, but even though it's stressful, on the bright side, you will come out being a better candidate/prof/scholar at the end of it. At least one would hope so. I really don't know. Sometimes it makes me feel like I don't have it in me, that no matter how hard I try, others, with minimal effort, do better than me. But that's life. Ah well.

Hi all, I just sat for my comprehensive exam in my two subfields (international relations, comparative politics), and passed my writtens and orals for my first subfield (international relations) and still have my oral for my 2nd subfield. It was super-stressful for me, and I was so stressed that at some points I kinda went blank on some questions and said stupid stuff, and on the whole, I didn't do too well. But I did enough to pass, and my writtens were super strong. My supervisor just told me we should do a post-mortem on the comprehensive exam (he was on the examination/oral committee ). Is that a bad sign , or just standard procedure? I 'm dreading that it's gonna be him telling me that it wasn't very good, that there were huge gaps in my knowledge, and that I should present better, look more confident, etc., that I can't get on the job market like this... etc. I just feel like I may have disappointed him... because this really was the first time that he's actually tested me. I've taken a class with him, but during seminars, you really speak when you feel comfortable... whereas on the orals, they really get the chance to test you. I feel like a complete failure. Is this normal? Is this what most people feel like after their comps? Is it supposed to erode your confidence like this?

I've never had that issue before. MA and PhD students are judged by different standards (and have different requirements anyway), but that does not mean that anyone is given grades that they don't deserve. The only time when I've been judged more harshly is in my supervisor's course, when he told me that he expects more from me. I do think that sometimes, people who don't put in as much effort but who present their work better, get a better grade, and that is not exactly fair, but still, it doesn't happen often. Most profs are very fair and professional. Anyhow, this thread was not about that issue.

Hey -- that's a good idea; I will not be disclosing my grades to anyone anymore. Everyone in the PhD program knows everyone else's grades. It's a small program and we're pretty good friends and these things come up in discussions. People also want to know where they are in relation to the rest of the class. I, for one, would be curious to know how others are doing, because if they are getting better grades than I am, I would like to see what they are doing that is earning them that grade, so that I can improve myself. I usually don't ask how much people got on assignments. I would just ask how they did. And if they say the grade, fine, if they don't, fine too. Usually they just straight up tell me what they got. They do the same with me too, and I tell them my grade. The Masters students in my class don't want to disclose their grades and I don't ask them, because the professor judges our performance by different standards anyway.

Sigaba, Thanks for the reply. I addressed the childish/immature characterization issue in my post above. I do have empathy. I have tried to help him out when he was going through a crisis the first time around, and after he got upset with me and told me that stuff, I tried to call him and get him to talk to me, but he refused to answer my phone calls and every time he saw me in the department, he walked in the opposite direction. And recently he has been coming into the computer lab and talking to everyone, and ignoring me. Anyhow, I do think that at some point, people's behavior will stop you from sympathizing with what they're going through. That cut-off point for me was when I became the punching bag for his frustrations. Apparently, the graduate director is aware of his not-so-great academic performance (he was also suspected of plagiarism because he wrote the same thing as my friend did, on a research methods assignment), and called him in to have a talk. And when he brought up his frustrations with how hard the program is, and how much readings we have to do, etc. (something that he keeps complaining about all the time), the director told him that 1) this is grad school; 2) that he should probably see a therapist if he cannot manage the stress. I have considered raising my concerns (about harassment/feeling threatened) to the department/administration, but I've avoided doing it so far because that will inevitably lead some (or many) students in the department to see me as a nasty person who goes and complains to the department. Yes, I know the issue is not a small issue, as there is an element of violence/harassment involved, but people are quick to forget about the context, and what will stick in their heads is the fact that I went and complained about my "friend". Anyhow, it's a very sticky and unpleasant situation, and I have so far tried to ignore it, because I felt that is the most professional thing to do -- for now. I don't know.

Thanks a lot for the replies, everyone. Haru -- sorry to hear that you're going through the same experience. It is very unpleasant, though mine has not yet reached the point (yet) where he is mean to me in class. He usually either 1) does not manage to say anything for the entire duration of the seminar ; or 2) says stuff that are completely irrelevant or nonsense. I actually don't even have to make any effort to make him look stupid. He does it hmiself. Though I admit that I now do take pleasure out of seeing the annoyed look on his face every time I speak up and the professor says that I brought up an excellent point and goes on to discuss it. Someone above mentioned that it's not accurate to call it childish behavior, and that he is probably going through impostor syndrome or something of that sort. Well, I don't deny that he might be experiencing impostor syndrome, but I have too, and any time that I have gotten a lower grade than others, I have wanted to know what I did wrong and what they did right and how I can improve and do better than them next time. Do I get upset? Sure. I think it's natural to get upset. But I get upset more about why I didn't do better, than why they did well. It's a matter of attitude, imo. This guy is just whining about why *I* am getting good grades, which makes absolutely no sense at all. It's like he'd be perfectly happy with his low B's as long as I get a low B too.... I think that says a lot about his priorities. Mind you, on the first assignment, when he got a B- , he got super-upset, but didn't show that he was upset at me. And he kept saying he doesn't want to do a PhD anymore, that he was gonna drop the whole program and go look for a job. And me and my friend had to go after him and try to calm him down, etc. And the second time, with the mid-term, he took out his anger on us instead, even though *we* were the ones who were there for him when he was upset... I really think that it's childish behavior on his part. Jealousy and competition might exist at every university, but I would like to think that they don't manifest themselves in this sort of behavior??? Then again, I guess this sort of thing happens more often than we'd like to think. It's sad, to be honest. If people can't control their emotions and act professionally, perhaps they have no place in academia?

Hi all, I've been having a problem with a colleague (a PhD student) lately. We did our MA together, and then he went and did a second MA in the States, while I worked and then got accepted into a PhD program. He then graduated with his second MA and was waitlisted at (and eventually admitted to) my university. Same department. I'm a year ahead of him in the program. We're taking a research methods course together this semester, though. We've been really good friends for several years. In the research methods class we are taking together, he is not doing very well. He has been getting B's, whereas I have been getting A- (with a prof who is known as being the hardest marker in the whole department). A mutual friend (with whom we did our MA, and who is also doing her PhD in the same department/uni), is getting a B+ so far. We had a mid-term exam recently, and he got a 76% compared to my other friend's 78% and my 82%. Bottom line, not a huge difference. But he got really angry at both of us after we got our mid-terms back, and accused us of making him feel stupid (yes, he told us that), and told us to keep our distance from him. He also kept telling us that he did his MA at an ivy league school and that *our* (now also his??!) university is not even ranked in the top 100, so according to him, the fact that he is doing poorly in class discussions, etc (he always says irrelevant things and the prof stops him) indicates that there is something wrong with the program/department, and not that he is having a hard time understanding the material.... I guess he is having some sort of impostor syndrome, but I've had it many times too, and have not had such outbursts of rage and jealousy. Also, the things he said (about ivy league, etc) makes me think that his ego got taken down a notch by the fact that I did better than an ivy league uni alumnus. Have you experienced this sort of (childish) behavior at all? I always thought of graduate students as more mature and interested in academic collaboration (and at least not as explicit about competition and jealousy as this guy). Also, he has been on talking terms with everyone else from that class, even though most of them got better grades than him, too..... the problem is that his behavior is making the department a rather unwelcome/stressful place for me. To add to the problem, he shares an office with me. He hasn't been using the office lately (in order to avoid me), but I don't feel safe at all (he went nuts in the office the day we got the exams back, but I wasn't around when that happened -- he tore down some comics I had taped to the wall and tried to flip over a big drawer, etc). I haven't talked to the department folks about this, because I thought I'd give him a chance to get back on talking terms with me. Plus, I don't really want to tell the graduate program director about personal conflicts between me and other people (unless it evolves into harassment). What do you think I should do about the situation? Just completely ignore it? Is this the way grad school usually is? My MA experience was totally unlike what I experienced with this guy. So I'm utterly confused and unsure about how to deal with this problem.

Yes-- I experience this every now and then. But really, there's little truth to the idea that we're "impostors" (the majority of us anyway). It's all in the head and if you keep telling yourself that you're an impostor, that anything you might say in class might sound stupid, it will lead to a snowball effect and soon enough you will find yourself even more afraid to talk, etc. I did really poorly on a presentation a few weeks ago, because I was so scared of appearing stupid or saying things that were wrong, and ended up sticking to what I had written on paper. The prof (my thesis supervisor) called me to his office afterwards, and gave me a harsh critique that nearly made me cry in front of him (to be fair, he also told me that he was the one who was on the admissions committee and really pushed for my acceptance, because he liked my writing sample, and knows I am up to the challenge -- I think he could tell I was suffering from impostor syndrome). The whole thing got to my head for a few days. I had a second presentation the week after that, and I took a few days' break from that course, and when I started preparing the presentation, I told myself that I would do my best and if it's not good enough for my professor, there's nothing I could do about it. Prepared some point-format notes, went in, talked (instead of reading off my notes) for 15 minutes, got the class to pay a lot of attention (usually they just stare at you blankly or daydream while you present) and ran a 30-minute discussion afterwards. Got an A. Totally impressed and excited the prof. All this to say, it's all in your head. Just do your best, don't be afraid of voicing your opinion, at least occasionally (I know it's easier said than done -- I have not overcome this problem either).

Well, I didn't get the $5,000 award (for 1 semester) I had applied for. Instead, I got $500/semester. But I hadn't been holding my breath anyway. Oh well. That means I have to come up with $6,000 from now until September 30, to pay for my tuition.

My mom was visiting me, and she actually made lots of food and put it in my freezer. It should last me for about 2 months, if I eat it every now and then. Still, I find it very hard to find frozen food appetizing. I force myself to eat it, but I don't really like it. It makes me gag sometimes. I can't help it. Especially if it contains cooked meat. It's a big problem for me. That, and the fact that I can't eat the same thing twice in a row. So if I buy something like ham and eat it once, it would take me a week to feel like eating it again, which means that I often have to throw stuff away, since I live alone and packages of ham, cheese, etc are too big for me.