gooniesneversaydie

I'm sorry to hear of your struggles. I don't want to pry too much (and I assume you've thought about all of this already), but could your partner move with you? Do you think it could possibly work long distance until they are in a place to move? Or could you stay long distance for the duration of the program and go home during the summer? We make a lot of sacrifices to be in this very elite space, but I hate to think someone has to sacrifice love (again, assuming you are in love). Or, maybe one way to think of it, is which love makes you happier as a person? The current state you're in or the potential to go somewhere for grad school and get PhD? Again, I hate that you would have to choose either. I've been fortunate enough to have a partner who is able to follow me around wherever, but more importantly, is able to handle me during my most stressful academic-related (and nonacademic) times. My hope is that you're able to find what's best for you and you find peace with whatever you potentially need to sacrifice in that journey.

I am going to screenshot this, in case I ever meet anyone that says they don't believe in angels. We are not worthy. I am debating whether to send out an email today. We know it was going to be another week based on previous posts, and today would mark 1 week. So.... today? Tomorrow? July?

Same! It looks like last year they started sending out acceptances around the 11th, so definitely behind.

Out of reactions, but agree with @MichelleObama. Very well said.

We all have a right to be here and express our frustrations, joys, heartbreak, and impatience, in whatever way helps us through this insane process. We can't forget that we are all in this together - regardless of who has gotten into what program or not. You, I, her, him, they, etc, we all completed these crazy applications, lost sleep, cried, yelled, worked our asses off to be the best, etc. We all have our heart set on that *ONE* school, and just because there are acceptances, doesn't mean there isn't a real fear for the next. We celebrate (even if we have to push through the jealousy) our fellow posters who've been accepted and stand united with those who may be struggling.

I don't know if I could get out a "hello" to answer the phone if it started ringing. I'd be sobbing as soon as I answered. Knowing my luck it'll be a very confused scammer on the other end, like, "Girl...do you need to talk? Also, what's your social security number?"

Am I the only one sick of seeing the "Girl gets accepted to Harvard" video every time they refresh the main page? Like, good for her, but ffs, her repeated immense joy is like pouring boiling salt water into the wounds of rejection. C'mon Brown. We're all here waiting for you. And you too, BU, I'm waiting...

I felt this post so hard in my soul. This is my second cycle and I've learned so many difficult and expensive lessons. But you know, if I truly did some inner searching, I would do it again a third time if needed. I think anyone who wants to be in academia is slightly off their rocker (*raises hand high*) and the sacrifices we make do NOT make sense on paper, but if you really believe this is the right path, then I say never give up. I didn't get my BA until I turned 33, and even though it landed me in a pit of SL debt, I have no regrets. I knew I wouldn't feel complete as a person unless I was in school. Same goes for this. You just have to be really honest with yourself. If there is an alternative that could bring you happiness, then find that alternative. If the thought of not being in academia is beyond comprehension, then don't give up. As one poster said above, it only takes one, and it will happen.

I've been binging Unexpected (similar to Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant) on Hulu, myself. Reality TV drama is a welcome, albeit non-stimulating, distraction from all this intellectual stress. How did our forefathers apply to grad school without streaming services to help alleviate the pain???

I also got wait-listed at UConn and rejected at Michigan. I couldn't get into Michigan last year either, which is a shame since their medieval program is so friggen strong. I'm up to 6 rejections now, which means numbness is starting to set in. I'm looking forward to moving into insanity so that I can cackle madly in front of my cats. I'm grateful for my one acceptance, but I'm crossing my fingers, toes, legs, and eyes for the remaining 5. I just need Brown and BU to put me out of my misery.

Definitely not alone. Last year I made a huge move from east coast to west coast for a program and it turned out to be a nightmare. Not having an established security net makes the process all the more daunting. I also am incredibly introverted (with just a hint of social anxiety) so when I went to the meet and greet weekend, I had a really hard time building relationships - granted 2 days isn't enough time. However, it was a great way to gauge the community and potential social circles. I opted to stay with a grad host over night, which was terrifying but definitely helped. Luckily, they were incredibly honest about the pros and cons of the program. For someone like me, it's hard to force myself into any conversation, but it's got to be done for this process. My undergrad profs always recommended I reach out to current grad students via email even before hearing from the school to gauge the potential support. Did I do this? God no. Again, terrified introvert. But the visits, if offered and possible to attend, do help.

Same! I'm hoping for one that it means they're considering me for an MA slot at least. I'm not sure if you already hold an MA, but maybe it could mean that for you too?

Can we all just collectively close our eyes and see if we can make time jump? If it could be like, Thursday, that would be super. Or March. March would be good too. The continued waiting....... madness.

I can't decide whether I should take my one acceptance and run or try again for a 3rd cycle (I still have 7 schools left, but 3 are implied rejections and 3 others are high tier). This year is so different compared to last that it's comical. I had 5 acceptances last year while I was in undergrad: 1 Ph.D. and 4 MA. This year, however, I have 5 rejections and 1 acceptance to Ph.D. Last year, I accepted my Ph.D. offer to the University of Oregon and moved my family from CT to Oregon. Long story short, it was a complete DISASTER (nothing to do with the school, but the move itself). Due to the circumstances experienced, we decided to move back home. I had to do what was best for my family, but friends, it was not easy to walk away. The school knew the crazy circumstances I was dealing with and offered me a deferral to 2020*, but the only way it could work was if I went alone this time. Even though this has been my dream, I couldn’t be that far away from my partner and cats (especially my cats). So, I had to decline and try again for something closer. I’ve been accepted to Tufts (sobbed), but I know it isn’t the most highly ranked program. The school itself has a strong reputation, but I’m concerned about future job placement. I know we’re all concerned about that since the academic climate is steadily worsening. Tufts doesn’t have specific placement data on their website, so I’ll find that out during my visit. My POIs have produced strong scholarship and match my areas of interest quite well. I know there are other factors to consider, such as my committees’ letters, future publications, networking, etc. It’s hard to shake the fear though that because I’m not in a prestigious program I’ll automatically be tossed aside. This fear stemming from the fact that I’m a non-traditional who dropped out of my first undergrad due to anxiety, returned to a community college 10 years later to kick ass, and then transferred to an unknown state school to finish my BA (and kick some more ass). I know I need to be patient and wait for the remaining schools (vomit), but if Tufts is the one, do I take it and get on with this process? Or do I change up my materials, retake the GREs, and try again a 3rd time? Could this post be any longer? Yes. Yes, it could. *To current Oregon admits: They love their grad students! I could sing the praises of the faculty and Graduate Director all day. If you choose to go there, you will not regret it.

I'm one of the PhD Tufts. Don't give up hope - it's quite literally all we have to cling onto. It's been my only acceptance so far, with 3 rejections and 2 implied rejections taunting my brain-space. It's only over when it's over.

While we may not understand the troubles you're experiencing in your personal life, this is a great space to vent your frustrations to those who understand the absolute and very real heartbreak we have experienced going through these processes. Your feelings are valid and heard. Seeking help is a solid first step. When in times of need, these quotes from JK Rowling give me strength to keep moving, because any progress is progress. You are in our thoughts! "Life is difficult, and complicated, and beyond anyone’s total control, and the humility to know that will enable you to survive its vicissitudes." "It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default. The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive."

You never know what is going to tip the scales. Having to prove how we're the best fit for the program, how much our POIs can help us in our research, how hard we worked as undergrads/MAs, all within a SoP that has a 500 word limit is mindboggling. I fully understand grasping at any straw that might help your chances, because not having control is the absolute worst. Our desire to enter academia with such fervor borders on masochism. Yet I cannot imagine being part of any other world. Best of luck and fingers crossed!

It's getting incredibly difficult to vent to my friends and partner, as none of them are in the academic world. So far, I've heard back from two schools (both rejections) and my friends try their best to keep my spirit up, but I know they don't fully "get" it. Hearing a response of, "Oh, they weren't good enough for you anyhow" or "Screw them! You didn't want to go their anyways!" Like, no, I very much wanted to go their because the program/faculty is amazing. Hence why I spent several months of stress and anxiety trying to apply to these places. My partner, bless him, cannot figure out why I am constantly hitting refresh on my email or on gradcafe. I know it won't make anything happen more quickly, but the desperation to know something (anything!) has become compulsive. I applied to 13 schools this round, which during the app process seemed like a lot. Now, with 2 rejections, that initial 13 seems like such a small number. May the universe, God, gods, nature, and JK Rowling give us strength.