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Samir Al-Hajeed

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  1. Thank you for the positive vibes, friend, bless your little heart as well.
  2. I have no post-doctoral professional aspirations, I’m content soaking up funding and a valuable spot at the university of my choice in order to make airline ticket checkers refer to me as “Doctor”. My grandest hopes and dreams are that some day, an individual on public transport of some sort will collapse, and I will be able to answer the call “Is there a doctor here?!”, but deflate the entire room with a smarmy “Oh sorry sweetie not THAT type of Doctor.”
  3. Salam fellow applicants, I was hoping to get a jump on the methods courses I’ll be taking in Fall, and wanted to do a small behavioral study among public health applicants who use Grad Cafe. Please answer the following questions as honestly as possible: (1) Do you identify as something other than male or female? (2) Do you engage in high-intensity anaerobic exercise 90 minutes or more per week? (3) Do you post on social media about your diet once or more per week? (4) Do you refer to strangers on the internet as “sweetie”, “sweet summer child”, or some related permutation once or more per week? (5) Was your undergraduate degree in a non-STEM field? For sake of this questionnaire, we define STEM as mathematics, physics, chemistry, biology, exercise physiology, nutritional sciences, or engineering. Thank you for your input! Have a blessed (non-denominational of course) day!
  4. Love y’all! Toodles!
  5. So you’re aware that applying as an Asian student puts you at a disadvantage, through no fault of your own. Yet you’d abdicate your position because of ... skin color? Look don’t take this the wrong way, but are you applying because you want to apply? That entire block of text sounds like someone is forcing you to apply and you’d be pleased to not get picked up.
  6. Salam fellow applicants, Boo as you must to keep up appearances, but you know I’m right. This saccharine charade of camaraderie holds no purpose; consider, once the utility of this board has ceased, nary another thought of it you’ll have. Unless, of course, you’re that one person from the 2020 cycle in attendance, ostensibly, to inform anonymous strangers that s/he attends Brown. Have you tried sneaking into undergraduate Zooms to inform them of your lofty status? The fact of the matter is, I’ll take a spot from some of you, and some of you will take a spot from me. That is how a scarcity of resources works. Pretending otherwise is just as useful as the urinating contest known as “stat posting”. Pardon my language, but blowing sunshine into each other’s assholes isn’t the psychotherapy you think it is. Have a nice day! Hugs and kisses!
  7. Salam fellow applicants, I have been viewing this message board for some time now, and have two questions for the general community: (1) Has absolutely nobody applied to state schools, or is it a matter of only claiming JHU/Harvard/Yale to show off to the other anonymous posters? Posting your “stats” on page 5 didn’t get you enough of a dopamine rush? (2) What’s with the “we’re in this together” and “good luck” posts? We’re absolutely not, and we’re competing against each other for limited spaces, respectively. I mean, unless it’s a southern-sweet show of force, then that’s sensible. This isn’t tennis. Alright, have a nice day.
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