[Disclaimer: I have yet to give the GRE exam, as it is not required in the places I've applied to so far. I do however, help students/undergrad students/newsletter writers/etc in essay writing from time to time.]
A few typos:
Para#1: "Technology that one helped us meet...." should've been "Technology that once helped us meet...."
Para#2: "A python programmer 10 years down the line..."
Para#2: "... make important decisions on a regular." There seems to be some missing text at the end there, perhaps you meant: "... make important decisions on a regular basis."
Para#3: "..professions such being a Youtuber.." add "as", so it becomes: "..professions such as being a Youtuber.."
A few more suggested changes:
Para#3: "Statistics show the drastic shift in the number of teenagers choosing ‘easy’ professions such being a Youtuber or a TikTok creator over professions in science and technology." Maybe change "shift" to "increase" for a clearer sentence, as in: "Statistics show the drastic increase in the number of teenagers choosing ‘easy’ professions such being a Youtuber or a TikTok creator over professions in science and technology."
Para#3: "All the discoveries we read about today are mostly a by-product of years of turmoil.." I think you were aiming for the meaning of the word "toil" here (which means "work extremely hard or incessantly"), and not "turmoil" (which means "disorder, chaos"), but I could be wrong. Generally, I think "toil" would make more sense here: "All the discoveries we read about today are mostly a by-product of years of toil.."
Para#2: "This is another strong example inferring that we, as adaptive creatures have a high probability of losing our analytical and logical skills that are otherwise required to make important decisions on a regular." I think "inferring" should be replaced with a verb like "implying" (because "inferring" means "to deduce"): "This is another strong example implying that we, as adaptive creatures have a high probability....".
These are all just minor nit-pickings!
+ Your 1st argument is really interesting and I liked the addition of the evolutionary aspect to it!
Best of luck with your application, and sorry if I have made any mistakes in my suggestions/corrections! I hope a more experienced forum member replies soon as I think they'd be of more help to you.