Tonights

I applied to eight schools. I keep feeling like that wasn't enough.

I don't know if it's a nice place to work, but my partner has corresponded with David and I've read his work, and he is a totally amazing, brilliant man, so it definitely affected my decision on whether or not to apply for study there. I previously had planned to, but fuck 'em. I don't want to go to a school that deliberately inhibits freedom of thought and speech. If the only professors they want are those who toe the line of widespread social acceptance, it doesn't sound like a very useful anthropology department anyway. At least to me.

Well, since we're all going to be researchers, I think I'll just practice my mad scientist laugh/scream. I'm going to need it. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

I'd be mighty happy if my two safeties would move up the list a bit! I sure wish these had come out around August, though.

Sometimes I get so panicky about it all that I just take a nap. It's really all I can do. I can't believe we have at least another month of this - bare minimum, another month. For me, it's probably more like two. Sweet minty Jesus!

Anthropology here. I'm playing my subfield close to the vest because it's an obscure specialty that almost nobody is in, so I'm not going to divulge anything until all the chips are down. There's always the off, off chance that someone from an adcom could recognize me online. :shock: The fact that my specialty is obscure made my applications very difficult, as almost no programs have anyone who deals with it. I had to apply to several schools that *almost* fit and compensate in my statements about why I wanted to go there. Just got my last one in yesterday. Now I'm terrified.

I agree, it's really a terrible system. One side of my brain knows that they make us jump through a million expensive hoops so that departments make sure all the applicants really want to be admitted, and aren't just applying everywhere. But the other side of my brain knows that education ought to be affordable and accessible and not just for people who can afford to drop a couple hundred dollars or a thousand dollars into the void. My best friend's applying to medieval history programs. She's not too well-off financially and it's been really hard for her to handle affording everything, even sending her last app in after the fellowship deadline just because she doesn't have the money to apply in time and will have to rely on loans if she's admitted. That kind of thing grinds my gears a bit about academia.

I tried to overcompensate for my worrying by applying to schools really across the board - an Ivy, a top ten, four middle-of-the-roads and two safeties. And STILL I waver between "I'm gold!" and "Here come all the rejections!"

Realistic: 3/8 acceptances. Pessimistic: 100% refusals Optimistic: 5/8 acceptances. In reality I truly feel like I won't get in anywhere, but that's the way it goes. Only two of my schools are interviewing and they're both in the rejection pile, so I probably won't have any. One of my sure acceptances is based on the fact that I have TWO professors there who want to SHARE advising me, but they haven't got much funding this year. So I flip between being sure I'll at least get in there, and being sure that I won't because the money won't materialize. I only need one. I'd like more, but one, please, come on, one.

8, all ph.d. In my field, professors usually tell me that if you intend to go for a ph.d, you should just go for it immediately, so that's what I'm doing. I was originally going to apply to eleven programs. One's grad chair told me that my math GRE score was not high enough (I am not in a math field, and I have dyscalculia - the remaining programs felt that my 96th percentile verbal balanced it out). So that one got canned. I was always kinda unenthusiastic about the last two and then I ran out of money, so I scrapped 'em. My last application (to my alma mater, which is my "safety school") just went in yesterday. I probably would have applied to more if I had enough money. I am terrified (and have very low self esteem).

Temple's got one as well.