UnlikelyGrad

Also currently living in a rented townhouse, but I frequently find myself fixing up the lab equipment!! I told my husband that as soon as he moves out here we are BUYING a place. My favorite introspective activity was deadheading the roses--may need to get some big planters and rosebushes for my patio! I am a classical music snob. When I must listen to non-classical music, I prefer '60's rock. And I did finally update my blog with another depression post... http://unlikelygrad.wordpress.com/2010/07/15/depression-and-graduate-school-part-ii/

I agree. I've always gone for the neutrals for the bottom half, but flattering colors for the top half. I used to have a lot more business stuff in my wardrobe before I started putting on all this weight, and now I'm starting again from scratch. Here are my dress-up essentials: Gray skirt, black pants (I hate having ALL black/navy) White shell, red shell (I like red) Dressy sweater--I have one that incorporates several colors so it goes with almost everything Blazer Now accessories are something I'm spectacularly bad at. Actually, I like shoes and can pick them out pretty well, though I have a devil of a time getting a pair that fits (size 10EE). It's the other stuff--the scarves and jewelry and all that--that bother me. I currently don't need to dress up every day, in fact it's practical to wear cheap clothes in lab. But I *like* dressing up.

Agreed! I think it took me almost 30 years to learn this... I think it was the author of Color Me Beautiful who said (paraphrasing): "Even your casual, lounge-about-the-house clothes should flatter you." I've definitely taken this to heart, so even though I usually wear jeans to work I always make sure I'm wearing clothes that fit, colors that flatter me, etc. I would advise you to go with a few pairs of Dockers, 2-3 polo shirts (can be worn w/ blazers), 3-4 button downs, a few ties (stop by garage sales for these, you can probably get them super cheap, as many men have way too many ties), and a nice pair of shoes. Shoes make or break an outfit. Start with one blazer in a neutral tone that flatters your coloring, and a nice sweater or two. This would be a good start. Accessorizing: most people won't notice your belt. What I think makes a man look snazzy is a nice hat, like a beret. And nice shoes. Did I mention shoes before? Yeah, get nice shoes. And another pair of nice shoes, if you can afford it. I agree with the posters who advised you to ask the women in your life for help. Most women love to see a well-dressed man. Most women also cringe to see a man who wears sneakers with his suit.

Yes to both of these too...though I can't handle fine work like knitting/embroidery very well. My preference is for things like working on the house: reroofing, painting, etc. Also, I have to be very careful about what sort of music I listen to, has to be "happy"--got into serious trouble one time by listening to Pergolesi's "Stabat Mater" while depressed. [in case you're not familiar with classical/religious music, 'Stabat Mater' is about Mary watching Jesus die on the cross. Pergolesi's is beautiful, but also very weep-worthy.]

*waves hand* MEEEE!!! I suffer from chronic depression, and I'm probably ADD as well. (My 3rd son as ADHD and boy do I ever see myself in him. Though I do know how to sit still...sort of...) Note: they can't keep you out of school for mental illness; you're protected under the ADA. Coping strategies: YMMV, but I find that forcing myself to stick to a schedule helps. Also regular exercise, a good diet, and cognitive behavioral therapy. I was actually going to write a new blog post about depression (my first post was one of my most popular ever: http://unlikelygrad.wordpress.com/2009/12/01/depression-and-graduate-school/ ) but haven't gotten around to it yet--probably because I've been deep in the depths of depression for the past two weeks. Maybe I'll get going on that now, er, after work.

Cool! We lived in Büchenbach Nord (Am Europakanal/Steigerwaldallee). Dad used the computer facilities over at Technische Fakultät several times a week, and he also biked over. My sisters and I got a free bus passes, so we used to take the 89 bus over to Hugenottenplatz, then walk up to my school (Marie-Therese-Gymnasium, near Lorlebergplatz). My parents say that Erlangen has really changed in the last few years--seems more 'Americanized'. Back when I was there, ~23 years ago, the only name Americans would recognize was McDonald's. Everything else was either a German chain (Kaufhof) or little mom-and-pop shops... If the other poster likes to hike, I recommend going up to the Fränkische Schweiz (north of Forchheim)...Ebermannstadt is a good jumping-off point. There are some caves somewhere north of Ebermannstadt, but I don't remember exactly where.

Bergkirchweih is in late spring... http://www.der-berg-ruft.de/ When I was there it wan't so big. My parents said it really took off over the next 20 years, though, so by the time they returned to Erlangen it had turned into a monster.

REALLY??? Someone else who knows where Erlangen is??? My dad did a sabbatical at the Uni Erlangen when I was a teen, and he was there again later (when I had kids). Where did you intern--Siemens? And which part of town did you call home? (I thought it funny that you mentioned a bierfest in another town, since Erlangen is home to one of the biggest in Germany--the Bergkirchweih. But then you were only there for the summer, so you wouldn't have known that. eta: Isn't it Forchheim, with 2 h's?

I had a 3-course teaching load last year, which is normal for my department. It is heavier than most schools, but definitely doable. (In fact, I'm curious if you will be attending the same school that I'm at, since I know the 3-course policy is in place in several departments.) I have a feeling that, as state budget crises worsen, 3-course teaching loads will become more common. eta: A lot depends on what class you are teaching, of course. I had 3 labs--which involved maybe 10-15 minutes prep work, plus grading time. I did not have to come up with a syllabus or class plan as all of this was provided by the department. Many TAs in my department had 3 sections of the same lab so even prep work was minimal.

As previous posters have said, letter size is shorter and wider than A4. FWIW, a rule of thumb over here is that a normal page with 1-inch margins is 500 words single spaced, 250 words double spaced. Hope this helps.

Oh yes, definitely look at PhD programs. If you're uncertain of yourself (I was), try to pick out a few schools that let you do a terminal MS--i.e. allow you to bail out of a PhD program with something to show for it!! Your GPA may be moderately low and you may bomb the GRE*, but it sounds like you have plenty of research experience, and that will open a lot of doors. *But don't bomb it. Study, and most especially learn the test-taking tips taught in the Princeton Review book.

Will your girlfriend/fiancee work after having kids? I ask because I'm trying to figure out why you need "family support." If it's for full-time childcare, there's going to be a huge discrepancy between quality of life in the two locations. If it's only for things like date night away from the kids, you can find plenty of options. My parents lived in married student housing while my dad was in grad school (back in the late '60's, mind) and there were a decent number of other married couples with children. They participated in a babysitting co-op, for them only on an occasional basis since my mom stayed at home. But there were evidently moms working part time who traded off childcare with other part-time moms...

Generally speaking, I don't mind receiving business cards. I've just met some people who are very aggressive with them and use them as a substitute for real networking, e.g.: "Hi, I'm Frank." (hand over business card) "I'm an insurance salesman with YourFarm, just in case you ever need any assistance in that regard. Oh, and by the way, I'm running for city council this fall--hope I can count on your vote." (walks on to next person) See, this is just rude--you should always ascertain whether people WANT to contact you before giving them your contact info. So, basically: introduce yourself, give a little background info, find out a little about the person you are talking to, find a point of commonality, ask if they would like your contact info (if they don't ask for it themselves), then hand over the card if they agree. Personally, I'd also use them in school situations like when someone needs my email so we could set up a study session, or when someone agrees to email me a copy of their notes because I had to miss a class, etc. In short: It's fine to give someone a card if they've asked for, or agreed to receive, your contact info. Foisting them on famous professors you meet at conferences is not okay.

I have to admit that when I started grad school I was terrified of writing a dissertation. One thing that really helped me was reading the work of my advisor's last three students: one Ph.D. dissertation and two master's theses. This gave me a good idea of what I had to shoot for and suddenly I realized that it was doable. Of course it helped that the topics they wrote about were at least tangentially related to my research project; not sure that would be true for humanities or not. I could give you the format that seems to predominate for master's theses here but I'm a scientist and I'm not sure how well it would translate to your field. How am I working on my dissertation? I'm starting early. When I read an appropriate article I not only enter it into EndNote but also jot a few notes into the Word file I've entitled "dissertation." I try to not only write up my experimental procedures in my lab book, but also translate them into text that can be used in my methodology section. In other words, I'm trying to build a framework as I go that can later be fleshed out into something more robust. I guess I could work like everyone else in the department: do nothing but research for four years, then write like mad for nine months, trying to remember everything that was done earlier. But I know my memory is lousy; I'd rather do it my way instead.

I might too, but it would depend under what circumstances I was given the business card. If someone just walked up to me and said, "Hi, I'm Postbib, here's a card," I would find his behavior tacky. On the other hand, if I met Postbib at a career or research fair and was interested in his work, and asked him if I could contact him later, then receiving a business card would make perfect sense. Likewise, if I discovered that he liked to play Ultimate Frisbee and my team needed another player, and he told me he was interested in joining--if he ASKED me to email him and then handed me a card with his name and email address--I would also not find it tacky. In other words: there's a business card code of etiquette. As long as Postbib followed it, I would find nothing wrong with handing out business cards. If he just wants to hand them out willy-nilly to anyone he meets, I would advise him to skip the business cards. [Local politicians of my acquaintance, please take note. ]

In case you didn't notice, I was poking gentle fun at your typo. I'm a bit of a natural editor and the pun was too good to pass up. "heir" = offspring who inherit your estate (PY is a dad which is why I said he had a couple of heirs.) "air" = arrogant attitude (among other things) I lived many years in the "real world" before coming back to academia, and so I'm a bit surprised by your accusation that I only live here on GradCafe. If I'm on here a lot, it's because of my duty as a moderator. Back to the business card thing: I think the real problem a lot of people have is that they've been accustomed to modern society associating cards-with-names exclusively with business. Back in the 19th century, you always left a card when you paid a social call on someone. Even if they weren't home, you left a card, sometimes with a note on the back. I guess it was the 19th century equivalent of a message on an answering machine. Personally, I don't mind someone giving me a business card, even if they are a social acquaintance only. Otherwise, I would scribble their name and number on a random piece of paper (like the back of a receipt) which might get thrown out before I have a chance to enter the info into my address book. I'm a lot less likely to throw out a card. I've gone to a couple of (non-technical) conferences where every early registrant got cards with name, address, and phone # as part of their registration packets so they could pass these out to newly made friends. I thought this was a fantastic idea, and passed out (and received) several of these cards. Needless to say, I consider cards-with-names to be eminently practical. I should make up a bunch with just my name and email address--people tend to have trouble spelling my last name, so my email address (based on my last name) is also frequently misspelled. Maybe I will print them up with pretty pink roses like Laura Ingalls' cards: ~~~~@ Grad S. Unlikely @~~~~ ~~@ unlikelygrad@myu.edu @~~

Putting on heirs? I sure hope you mean "airs". Postbib Yeshuist does have a couple of heirs already (if I remember correctly) but I don't think he puts them on. PY: I think it's a great idea. I recommend getting the printable sort from an office supply store. My dh and I did this several years ago when he was doing consulting work and I was running my own business and it was great! I gave them to all sorts of people, not just business prospects. I even had two "flavors" of cards--one for tutoring, one for the other business stuff. I really wish I'd thought of printing some up while I was TAing last year--I could have handed them out to all my students.

Wow. I think this is the first time I've ever made the list!!

Maybe not, but it made me laugh...at a memory. UnlikelyDad had a good friend in college with this same attitude. All he wanted was a dumb, easily-led girl with a big smile and big boobs. He was appalled when UnlikelyDad started dating me because I am not naturally sunny, and I'm not particularly well-endowed. When UnlikelyDad said he liked my brains his friend rolled his eyes. Fast forward ten years. UnlikelyDad and his friend now lived at opposite ends of the country and hadn't seen each other for years when, out of the blue, this guy calls to talk because he is lonely. At some point UnlikelyDad asks if he has a steady girlfriend. Answer: no, he dates, but all the girls are too stupid to have a conversation (or a long-term relationship) with. To which UnlikelyDad replies: "That's why I snagged a smart one while I could." So the poster may live to regret his rash words.

I would take more than a couple of classes in the new field. I would try to cover most of the prerequisites for the program before applying.

When I took the GRE 2 years ago (wow, has it really been that long?) ETS was saying that fill-in-the-blank math questions were being tested (and indeed, I got one on my math section), but that they would not be officially scored for another year or so. It's been long enough that they may be counted now. BTW, I got two verbal sections so my one math section was clearly the "real thing."

I only wear my lab coat when working with concentrated nitric or when around undergrads. I consider undergrads the far more dangerous of the two!

I think it depends a lot on your field of study. I can't wear shorts or sandals because I'm not allowed to have that much bare skin in lab. Some of the other profs are a little more lax about letting their students wear shorts, sandals, etc in lab but I'm sure they don't do this when they have OSHA inspections. The geologists I know, on the other hand, seem to wear shorts all the time. Even the profs, sometimes.

Not a huge sports fan myself, but I went from Division III schools in undergrad to a Division II school for grad. I guess I'm moving up in the world. I've decided in the last couple of years that I like watching hockey, but MyU doesn't have a hockey team. Phooey. Maybe next year I will cheer for the basketball team instead.

I don't know anything about Chinese but at one point I was fluent (reading, writing, speaking) in German and got to read some interesting (and in some cases somewhat archaic) literature in that language. I agree with the posters who are pushing immersion. That's how I learned German. (I never had a formal German grammar class.) The nice thing about learning this way is that classes generally only teach formal grammar, not colloquialisms. And it's the colloquialisms that will really trip you up in less-than-formal writings. Of course, colloquialisms do change over time, so if you can find stuff from that time period that's been translated into English PROPERLY you can read one, then the other, then the first again. (Schiller was a lot easier for me after spending much time reading older English & German translations of the Bible side by side.)