nhyn

Well put. Since you study psychology I'm sure you've read/heard about the "happiness set-point"/subjective well-being threshold. Of course whether this is true needs more research, data, etc., but intuitively, I believe it. Whatever path we choose, our happiness level is really up to us and less likely to depend on the events happened to us. Even after being bitter for 4 years about not going to a big university (I went to a small, reputed liberal arts college, but even though its reputed and has good resources, for labs and psych research, it still can't compare with good, big unis), I still believe it is what we make of it (I guess I didn't work hard enough ). Although...hahaha being the pessimistic that I am, I think whatever I do I'll still find something to be unhappy about, something to regret, so might as well do what I want most right now, at this very moment, and maybe regret it later

it's hard to tell if you don't shed some light on what kind of program/area you want to work in. For social and biomedical sciences, I'd go with option 3. You can look for jobs outside of the university too. BY the time you apply, its true that they'd only have known you for 3, 4 months, but if you worked hard and tried to interact as much as possible, it's possible to gain something out of it. I was able to ask for a good LOR from a part-time job at a well-known lab I worked over the summer. And if you're in life/biomedical sciences, RA jobs actually pay a bit better than social sciences RA jobs, so why not stay for 2 years? I guess it wouldn't work if you have a pressing need to get your degree, but I've always wished I gained more experience before starting grad school. Also, I hope by "top program" you mean the principle investigator, or at least the department (of the field you want in), because that's what matters more in academia (vs undergrad). Like many many people here will tell you, it's also about fit, even though from personal experience, I have to say the fit doesn't have to be absolute. As long as you have some appropriate experience and a clear, definite desire to research some (not all) of the topics that that lab is working on, that's a good fit. If you feel confident that you won't resent yourself later for lowering your standards and not pursuing the best, and if you think simply being able to do the research you like is more important than prestige and all the apparent benefits that come with top programs (as well as the severe competitiveness to get in), then I don't think there's anything wrong with applying to some less well-known, but otherwise talented, faculty members.

you can work on-campus. there are 2 options, OPT and CPT for off-campus employment. Both have to be related to your area of training/study. You can look them up and see what the conditions are like The paperwork costs money and is kind of annoying, but you might be able to gain valuable internship/experience outside of your department that way.

what did you put in as your "current address"? They always mail to the current address unless you specify otherwise. Also, you can always confirm/change address on the app website/with the department.

lol no its not a congrats situation - I applied to the PhD program. I guess if I had gotten in touch earlier, when they havent decided yet, I'd have just annoyed them!

so glad i didnt get in touch earlier - they got back today (so 1 week?), and im waitlisted/admitted into the MA program.

I had an interview with a school last Monday (so its been a week). I sent a thank-you email to the prof the day after, etc. None of the profs I interviewed with could give me a time frame for when they'd get back. Last time when I interviewed, the other school accepted me 3 days later, so now I'm getting nervous as I haven't heard anything. How long should we wait after an in-person interview to contact them again? I plan to shoot another email on Tuesday or so...is that reasonable?

I'm so sorry to hear this Criticism is one thing, attack is another. My boss/professor right now has criticized me about some issues, and while I could clearly tell he was annoyed with me, he clearly said that he was only telling me so I could be successful in the future, and I believe that. He's never mean or insults me. THAT's criticism. Your advisor clearly insulted you multiple times. Judging from your side of the story only, I'd say you're not at fault Have you considered transferring? It'd be tough, I'm sure, esp. in the LOR part. But...people have tried and done it before. But if you don't want to be in academia anymore, I think that's fine too. Life has many things to offer!

That sounds really lovely I guess a trade-off of having a SO is that while you have, well, a SO, you're missing out on meeting great housemates. I've always made great friends with my roommates and housemates throughout college, so I'm definitely gonna miss that. Your community sounds fantastic I'd love to take care of a garden with people. hahaha this is funny because I was kinda relieved that I will not be under peer pressure to drink myself into stupor in grad school. Not that my friends in college made me drink or anything, but college kids do drink a lot and I have thrown up (three times) after 2 glasses of wine, so yea...but I guess I can always order a light cocktail while hanging out with people at a bar or something Brewing beer is actually very interesting. Off topic, but, my SO's stepdad brews beer too and he comes up with all kinds of flavors, it's kinda cool

Thank you for all of your suggestions! They gave me some ideas of where to start. This is the most useful advice by far! I cannot agree with you more.

that sounds like a good plan good luck! I never thought about it before (since I'm not a citizen and never thought about residing in the US permanently), but now that I'm engaged, and my fiance has a stable, good job, I'm thinking about buying also. The thing is, although I won't be paying student loans, he is, and he doesn't want to buy anything while he's still in debt (in fear of losing his job suddenly). We're hoping he can pay off his loans soon, though, so maybe...Thinking about having to pay at least another year for rent does hurt o_O Sigh...

but...U of Rochester (according to all the information, even if super outdated, on NRC) has a very good program o_O I'm not sure who you applied to, but I think U of Rochester is reputed and competitive enough not be put in the usual "safety" tier, unless you're talking about the absolute top programs/professors. Sorry, just wanted to comment on that and to say that all of your programs might be equally competitive and rejection from one doesn't mean rejection from the others. i just have an assumed rejection cos they didnt invite me to their interview weekend. was depressed for a week but after that i was like whatever, your loss o_O (or rather try to convince myself so lol)

I'm going to grad school in Fall 2011 in a suburban area 15 mins from a big city. Since I'll be moving to a new place (i've lived there before but only for a summer), and only know about 2 people from college there, I was thinking about ways to integrate myself into this new community (the department, the school, the area, the city, etc.). I understand that I will be very busy (it's a research phd program), and I'm also living with my partner, so I probably don't have time to do much, but I was hoping to maybe do join a pottery club or do something fun from time to time during the weekends. I'm an international student, and while I've spent 3 years here in the US for college, my college is in the middle of nowhere, there has never been anything "urban" to do (even though I'm spoiled by how easy it is to participate in college events and stuff), so I don't really know how to go about building a new life in a new city... So I guess my question is, for those of you who are currently grad students, what do you do to keep a good balance between work and life? Do you maintain hobbies, or join some activity in your area? How would you suggest going about getting familiar with the new community?

well, for example, you can be excited about ice-cream, but you also love fried chicken - the professor probably was excited about your application, but same goes for other good applications as well i've had similar experiences to other posters's, but for research jobs - you think you hit it off sooooooo well with everyone in the lab, that the rejection came as a really bitter, almost personal, offense o_O But, if we're in academia, we're gonna be in that situation again and again, sigh. in any case, don't give up hope yet!

I'm not sure if I can help much, as I'm in a similar situation, except I guess I already picked a side when I chose not to apply to places more than 3 hours away from where my boyfriend/fiance works (I do regret it a bit; I should have just applied and decided later!). We've been dating long distance for 2 years after only a year of dating and being physically together, and while it's not terrible, it's not fun either. Not because I want somebody really intimate - besides normal friends- to hang out with all the time (theres part of that, too), but also just...it feels right. Being with this person is so much fun, and I can see myself with this person in the long term, us being together in the future, that's why I chose to stay. If you can say the same about your boyfriend, and if you have some reassurance that this is THE relationship, then you may be happier if you stay (are you guys going to get engaged soon? and even if you're engaged, would you be ok with living apart, or would you rather be together?) Another factor was, I liked the (very few) schools I applied to, and where I got accepted, even though it's a small department and the professor is young and only semi-famous/established, I really got the feeling that she'd be an excellent mentor (after talking extensively with her and her students, of course), and I am excited about the research she's doing and what I can do with her. So another question you should ask yourself is, if you stay at BC, will you truly be excited about the research and do they have the resources to support you to the fullest? Of course, a top program is always gonna help you in the long run, but the advisor/department is important, too. People can become well-published even if they're from smaller schools, although it might take a lot more efforts. So if you think you're self-motivated and that BC seems like a good place, I don't think going to BC would be much worse than going to UIUC. But then again, it depends on what you value more, and it will take some time to really know that. Talk to your boyfriend, your friends, and your family, people who know you best. It's a hard decision! I'm still changing my mind every few days lol I even thought of re-applying next year to more prestigious programs, I really don't have a problem with that. I was hoping to take more time off anyway. But I keep coming back to my original decision (stay). I do feel like I'm making a bit of a sacrifice, but my boyfriend's job is too good to quit, which means we'd have to be apart for 5 years if I went to school elsewhere. I'll just wait until I have to move for a postdoc or a job to do the long-distance again lol And you can already tell that I'm a hedonist and family-oriented person ^^ Are you that type of person? Or are you really ambitious and view work as the ultimate means to self-fulfillment? You're right in that either way, you will be giving up something - but either way, you will gain something, too. Think about what would make you happier that's what I did. Good luck!!! Life can only be understood in hindsight, someone said, so I'm sure whatever decision you make, it's gonna be alright

some people are workaholic, some people like balance. I think either way is fine, as long as you're happy and can face the (good & bad) consequences. (or maybe if you're the type to find happiness in extreme work conditions and perpetual unhappiness, then I guess you're happy, too? lol). I admire you for having the courage to draw the line. You have shown/seem to be the type who CAN and WILL work hard, and you are still working hard, just not overworking, so I don't think you're a slacker. But this coming from me who likes to take it slow and enjoy life probably doesn't mean much ^^ yay for hedonist?

he sounds like such a good professor/scholar! i like it. too bad you've got a better offer

i wish Tufts just posted all rejections and waitlists at once so no one can have false hope T_T im pretty sure its a rejection for me but since i havent received anything yet theres still that tiny fleck of hope....sigh.

they interviewed people last Friday. my prof (in cog psych), as far as i know, has not extended any offer. so the answer is, maybe not. sorry if that wasnt too helpful!

i know not all applicants use gradcafe, but ive only seen one acceptance for Tufts and it was in Jan...do you know the people who got accepted? do you know if they applied to Dr.Ambady?

(based on past posts on the results page) seems like they dont. i think some profs might do phone interview however.

I applied to Ambady (i just pm-ed you, too). Hmm, I've been checking their website obsessively but nothing yet.

anyone heard from Tufts yet?

i didnt get my itinerary a day before the interview, so...yea, schools can be last minute too. my schedule also got changed around at the last minute, causing some confusion. anyway, that definitely sounds like an interview to me. besides interview, usually they give you lab tours.

not sure how you phrased your whole response but i think something along the line of "I'd like to wait to make an informed decision after I hear back from other places" is fine - thats what i did, and the prof was totally fine with it. he did ask me to reply as soon as i make a decision, but also said you have every right to wait because it's an important decision. hope that helps.