DrKT

Good advice you've been given. You don't want to inadvertently give off the idea that you aren't serious about your career path. I know it must be tough to be separated at the moment, but strongly consider the impact of your actions before you frame them as personal unhappiness and wanting to be closer to your fiance.

GEEZ!!! I was just about to ask what's the going rate for application fees and things nowadays. It's been a few years since I applied, but I actually applied to Ph.D. program 3 different times.... in 3 different years before I got in. I cannot even begin to imagine the total costs of just "trying" to get into grad school. Also don't forget about postage!

I'd be interesting in sharing my application story. I've been through it a couple of times so I probably have something beneficial to share that would help someone else. Thanks for the opportunity.

I agree with everyone else. Ask for the LORs now. You want to make sure that they have plenty of time to consider your request and get your letter ready. Good luck and I hope everyone agrees to do it for you!

I didn't take her advice - not because I didn't see the value in it, but because I prioritized 1. eating and having a roof over my head over 2. my ideal job. I remember almost breaking out in hives about the prospects of being stuck in a career doing research and yet, when the bottom fell out of the economy and I was on the job market while completing my dissertation, I vowed to take the first decent job in a decent location. It just happened to be in - dun dun dun - research. I'm still working this job right now and I'm far from happy. I can *do* the work, I just don't like it. So sitting in an office doing something you don't like for 40+ hours per week is pretty awful, lol. I'm just now going back to my original advice and finding something that fits more with my strengths and personality. I'm starting a job teaching soon... and also working on a business to help others get into grad school and get out on the other side with a fulfilling career. Basically, helping others avoid all of the mistakes that *I* made.

Same experience, lol. The real thing that stuck on in my mind was the whole "having to move to wherever the jobs were" thing. They NEVER understood that at all and I've given up explaining. At the end of the day, I chose to go the route where I choose where I live, and I can enjoy my late 20s/early 30s and not have to move to the middle of Siberia for the sake of earning tenure. It's a hard choice to make, others of my classmates made other choices, but I'm content with mine.

Welcome Katie. My experience has been that they just don't understand what all is involved in grad school. My family has always been supportive of higher education. My mom even has a masters degree but no one understands what a dissertation is and all that is involved with it. No one understands the level of stress that's involved. No one understands the competitive environment. No one understands that you can't just walk into any job with a Ph.D. and be hired. Those have been my experiences.

It's not just on the university level though. You still have people who go to top universities who will opt to take the "easy" classes from the professors who gives out the most lenient grades.

Great points Latte!

This might be silly advice.... but I figured out what I want to do by finding out what I didn't want to do. It is true that you may not figure out what you want to do forever and ever in your 20s and I think there's nothing wrong with that. I followed the advice of a career counselor I saw once - and that was to start with your natural strengths according to your personality. Figure out what it is that you do WELL because chances are, not only will you enjoy some of the underlying tasks involved in that career, but you'll be good at it too. She recommended a book called "Do What You Are." It offered me a lot of perspective and helped me to identify WHY the career I was in at the time felt like a uphill battle. It was because I was working mostly in areas of weakness rather than strength. That's a starting point to help you make some decisions about what to do with your life. Grad school is a huge undertaking - mentally, time-wise, and sometimes, financially as well. Make sure you're sure before you start. Thats my best advice, having been there before too.

Yeah, I also remember there being no easy way to find out which professors at which universities were studying what I was interested in. At the end of the day I ended up going university by university and searching online. Yeah. That whole process erased so much time off of my life. I guess I also under-calculated how much TOTAL time it would take to make sure that *everything* was in order. If that whole research phase was killer, then the actual pulling together the entire application was a whole 'nother story!

I've been on the other side of this equation. I had a few students ask me for LORs and this may sound like high treason but sometimes there was just so much stuff going on that I forgot . I actually told my students to keep harassing me to complete them - you know, just in case. I never submitted that a letter that close to the deadline though. You MUST have been on pins and needles!!!!

Awww man!!!! I can definitely hear the frustration in this post. And you know what? The entire process is definitely crazy for someone fresh out of undergrad, but hell, you're right.... 9 years later God only knows what some of your old professors are doing, and I'm sure they've seen thousands of new students in the interim. I would definitely say that the process is crazy if you're returning to school. How did you manage your time while going through this entire ordeal? I'm just going to assume that you were working at the same time as preparing all of these SOPs and ordering transcripts and chasing down people for LORs.

I would imagine that it *might* come down to that, but maybe not. It does make you wonder though.... for those people who are relying on "easy A's" to get into grad school, you think they end up at the top of admissions stack anyway when it comes right down to it? Especially with all of the competition?

That's true. I was reading some of the comments on the Chronicle and they said the same thing. They're definitely not as easy to read on the first glance. I got into a semi-heated Facebook debate about this topic.... from someone who chose to go to an "easy school" because they felt like they also deserved a shot at going to grad school to achieve their version of the American Dream (paraphrased quote). I wonder how many other students think like this. Grade inflation is definitely an issue in Higher Education and I think adding some context does show you if an A is really equal to an A, you know what I mean?