coffeeplease

I like what a lot of people have said here, but I'll add this in response to a couple of lines in the OP's comments:

In regards to figuring out what you want to do before getting to vs while in grad school... I think that one should just get a normal job (or other less legal way of supporting oneself) and read books or articles or whatever by oneself until one does know what one wants to do. Get a reading group together, or, if you must, do a (cheap) MA somewhere. I'm so glad that I didn't go into a PhD program straight out of college, or at any other point in the 5 years between then and now. I could have and I might've gotten in somewhere, but I wouldn't have had the drive and desire to just straight wreck shit that I have now. Holding off as long as I did and being convinced by all the garbage online that tells us not to go to PhD programs helped me really focus my mind, my energies, and enhance my self-confidence and confidence in the fact that I want to be a nerd who gets paid to be a nerd for the rest of my life, while also hopefully making my colleagues shit their pants.

I don't think people on this board are pretentious at all. Really! And I'm sure I'm not alone, either. I think you just might not be used to how grad students talk to each other about their interests/work. All the stuff you indicated as being somehow problematic/annoying/unnecessary is pretty much par for the course. Hm. I think something that's lost on many applicants to MA/PhD programs (and I include myself in this group because I was the same way) is just how far along you're expected to be, both academically and professionally. Sure, it's great to be excited about literature, but that excitement can't be the end of it. As a grad student, you DO need to have an idea of why your work is important and how you plan to develop it. Remember, we're not applying to "school" in the sense that we are going just to learn. We're expected to produce. Our professional scholarship starts day one, if it hasn't already. This fall, you'll no longer be a student, really -- you'll be working a job (albeit as a "student") in one of the most demanding fields in the world. That's why they're paying you to go. And in this field, your work sort of does need to be your life, and you sort of do need to take it seriously, in spite of how pretentious it might make you sound. I do think it's good to be critical of how we communicate with one another, though, so I'm glad you posted this topic. I'm sure others will want to chime in, too. Good luck with the rest of your apps!

I've taken to quoting Princess Bride on my student's papers. "I don't think this word means what you think it means."

That's just cruel.

Did a quick scan-through and don't think anyone has mentioned this one yet: I honestly can't say enough good things about Hilary Mantel's Wolf Hall. I don't think I've ever read historical fiction done so effortlessly. Her characters are utterly engrossing, and her writing is devoid of the usual conspicuous affectations that seem to plague other writer's of the genre. I read it over Christmas (and immediately post-application submitting), so perhaps my judgement is a little skewed by it being the first novel I've read solely for pleasure in godknowshowfreakinglong, but I was fascinated by this book. Her Thomas Cromwell is one of the fullest, most nuanced, and most compelling characterizations I've read from a contemporary writer in a very long time, and the paradoxes, contradictions, and rigorous self-awareness she builds into him result in an incredibly complete and rich portrait of a society in transition (which, being an Early Modernist, is something I am obsessed with).
I think it's a timeless piece of work (and so did the people who decide the Booker Prize), and am beside myself with excitement that she's going to be making it into a trilogy.
I never rave about contemporary fiction this way (gotta maintain my hip lit snob image, ya know? ), but this book absolutely beguiled me. It had already secured itself a place on my "Top 10 Novels" list by the time I was two chapters in.
I was utterly and ridiculously smitten with this book. Everyone must read it.

How mature - someone disagrees with you or has a different experience from you and they are nothing more than a troll. Good to see we're all adults here.

I do apologize for derailing your topic, WornOutGrad. I really just do not wish to see you being as miserable as I am if you allow people to coerce you into an academic life you may not even want to have and miss out on other non-academic life experiences as a result. Yeah, I know...I should take my own advice, but sometimes things are truly easier said than they are done. Besides, I have found that many advisers just throw around the need to get more schooling like it's nothing to spend eight more years and $100K more for an even higher degree. Probably because some of them have no idea what kind of work attaining such a degree entails and they think it's little more than going to the store and picking up a new degree like it's a pair of shoes.

Nobody here can really say what's best for you, though. And believe me, I would be homicidal if I had to spend 50-60 hours a week in school. I'd be in class from about 8-5 (one hour for each lunch and dinner) and in class I'll do...something. Might not even be schoolwork. Sometimes I'd get frustrated as hell trying to think and I'd need to cleanse my palate (and palette) creatively...I might sit for a half hour and just do something for me. Just for fun. No rhyme or reason. In my case, it'd be putting on some good music and making a little doodle. So I can assure you, you're not a bad student because you don't work yourself into the nearest nut house. And I don't think it's so much you wouldn't ever be able to do the things you yearn to do...it's just if you went even further in your studies, you might not be able to do them in the very near future, or do them as efficiently as you'd like to. If you try to do work, school, and family life (marriage, children, etc.) all at once, you may find yourself burning out swiftly and one (or all) of those things being neglected.

Personally, I could have had a job in undergrad (I know, it's not the same), but I chose not to because I knew I could not handle working and school. I did freelance here and there, but even then sometimes I really felt burned out. I think the best thing I could possibly say is if you're happy, or at least happy more often than not, you're doing things right. I'm sorry that's not the case for you now, though. As said, I hope you can find the balance in life that will let you be truly content, whether that's staying in school, taking a break, or going on to another degree. No one but you can make that call, but you know you better than any of us. Sorry for the rambling, though; I hope it made even a little sense.

However, since I am a troll, my opinions are completely invalid.

There are times grad school wasn't as bad - like when I accidentally do my work correctly. Then I feel smart and useful for about half a second. And heck, even though I likely can't afford it and it will cause my grades to plummet even more, I am actually looking forward to going to New York in October...mostly because I can see the few people in class I like talking to, and I can go to some cool stores and do some familiar sight-seeing, but it's a start.

And honestly, lack of time to to things or be around others is only from my own experience. My program is pretty jam-packed because it's made for working people - basically cram a whole semester into 4-10 days so people can go back to their jobs without getting fired. I digress.

WornOutGrad, people here think I am a substandard member, student, and human being because I hold a different viewpoint than them, but I truly only speak from experience and I do try and not allow my resentment and bitterness show through in all my posts (sometimes it does). But within much of my griping are really just some realistic and practical words. No one sees that, though, because I've been labeled high-school-style as an abnormal emo who should not be taken seriously. It's kinda cute.

Anyway, this isn't about me, this is about you. Grad school will drain you in every sense of the word, and if you don't like being there, the effects will worsen ten-fold. For those who are head over heels (this phrase doesn't even make sense, but you understand what I mean) about being grad students, the sacrifices and loss of money and time and such are all worth it and may make you feel accomplished at the end of the day. I still stand by my suggestion of slowing down to part-time or taking classes online (if possible) to maybe lift some of the burden. I think that may allow for enough wiggle room in your day-to-day schedule to pursue what you want without losing out completely on a social life. Or if need be, take a break, catch up on things in real life, and really sit down and think about if you are getting more out of grad school than it's taking away from you. People have already said that, but I do concur with those sentiments. I'm sure that is wrong, though, since I am just too unstable in the head to offer advice on anything.

No career (or time spend pursuing it) is worth it is if's going to destroy you. I hope you're able to find whatever answer is right for you. (hugs)

And my previous point (one of them) is already being proven: tell strangers you're suicidal and they tell you you're crazy. Good to know.

Unfortunately,the more schooling you seek, the more you must be willing to sacrifice in order to get the coveted degree. You need to give up years of your life, time with loved ones, put off things you want to do and places you want to go, lose money that could have been spent on other pressing things. It can make you feel resentful. It's kind of like when a parent has to sacrifice something they want for their kids, and then they go and resent their kids secretly because of it. Trust me, that's normal. I've had to give up a lot of things not only for grad school, but over the course of my whole life (and I know I am not the only one to do this). And I was/am bitter toward those who made me give those things up.

It's definitely good that you're already talking to a therapist and on medication - I'm never one to immediately suggest pills to solve problems, but if nothing else helps, then by all means do what you must in order to stay relatively sane. Unfortunately, sometimes in order to dedicate all passion toward studies and subsequent careers, you need to neglect important people and things in your life and if this is something you cannot do for a Ph.D, then I gotta say don't do it. Sometimes it's possible to find a balance between what you love doing and those you love, but sometimes this is not possible and one or the other suffers.

Even if you do want to pursue your professional passion in grad school, there will be times you have the occasional nervous breakdown or fit of depression. Trust me, I had those even in undergrad. I cannot count how many times I broke into tears, wanted to drop out and die because I got a B on something I poured my heart and soul into. Many times I cried myself to sleep because I wanted to see my friends and my boyfriend, and my cats too...but I couldn't. If I could have, I'd have thrown all that school BS away in a second to just be with those I loved. Even if I had to work a shit job for minimum wage, if I could do it and be happy, that's all that would matter. But I was talked into (and more or less forced) to stay in school and get my degree. It was fun, but not worth it in the slightest. However, this is only from my own experience - I know not many find themselves in my position.

It's your life and you only get one, so do with it what you want. Not what your adviser wants or anyone else. Letting someone else make your choices for you sucks - I know because I deal with it every single day. Let me ask this...is your passion something that requires a master's degree in order to pursue as a career? Or is it something you could study on your own? What about maybe taking part-time online classes from home so you could still spend time being around people you love and doing things you enjoy while continuing your education? It might take a decade to get that degree, but maybe you need a slower pace and the comfort of home? Grad school moves about at mach speed, so I know it leaves little to no time for anything fun or interesting. Yes, I agree that every student has their times of doubt, sadness, uncertainty, fear, anger and frustration while pursuing a degree. But I think if those moments outnumber the neutral and positive moments, that means it's time to get the hell out of Dodge.

Yup - I've felt that way ever since I started last year. Don't know about you, but I'm in grad school against my better judgment. It's not as much the work that stresses me out as much as the debt it will put me in. I'll have about $80K from undergrad by the time I'm out of grad school, and then possibly $50K more from grad school. I've considered suicide as a way to kind of escape the forced college, the debt, and everyone who lives my life for me on a regular basis.

But the people who I actually do care about are the ones who keep me going. I have grown resentful of higher education due to it being forced in me for the last six years, and I truly feel the student loan debt I have been forced to take on will make me live in poverty for the rest of my life. Talking can help if you talk to the right person - if you're truly serious about feeling suicidal, many people will just tell you to grow up, get over it, you're being dramatic, etc. That's common when you tell someone you're suicidal because they think you're attention-whoring (and I admit, some people like emo kids ARE doing just that). I suggest confiding in a close friend rather than any strangers because they'll just tell you you're crazy and doing something wrong.

Grad school is a very depressing place, though, so it makes sense. You have to do loads of incredibly difficult work, you hardly have time to even use the bathroom let alone have down time to watch a movie or read a non-academic book, you may often be exhausted and pushing yourself to be awake every single day, you might eat less. It's basically nothing but go go go, now now now with no time to rest. You might not even get a full night's rest for the whole time you're there. So believe me, I can understand how being in grad school can be so depressing - it's because it IS depressing, even if you want to be there. It's not like undergrad where you get a month to do one assignment and can have a little playtime here and there. There's none of that when you go for your master's.

Others may say otherwise, but my own experience has been depressing and has made me suicidal, upset, and turn to alcohol at times to cope. The worst part is if you choose to major in the arts or humanities, you are very unlikely to ever be able to even use your degree anyway, so that may make your studies even more depressing. I am only speaking from what I have personally experienced, though.

This has been my desktop background for weeks now:

This has been my desktop background for weeks now:

This has been my desktop background for weeks now:

This has been my desktop background for weeks now:

I say go for it... but I am going to be WAY in the minority here.

Sounds like a fun way to get through grad school.

I turned in a paper whose title was [TITLE GOES HERE].

My prof wrote next to it, "Yes, it does."

*quizzical look*
"Wait. Did I read that correctly?"
*squints at paper*
"Quote: 'I am interested in studying the lyric poetry of John Donne because his manipulative, aggressive, too-clever-by-half, but so-freaking-charming-he-makes-your-brain-explode poetic demeanor is remarkably similar to the personalities of the last several men I've dated, and I seem to be genetically incapable of avoiding colossal jerks of this nature' End quote.......This girl's a crazy bitch with some serious intimacy issues. NEXT!"





(OK, so I didn't write exactly that in my SOP....but that's the general sense of it! I'm just hoping there's some ladies on the adcoms who understand where I'm coming from )

Everything ported onto both Mendeley and EndNote for easy archiving/keyword searching.

File structure in my computer/Dropbox is simply "Courses/[Quarter Year]/[Name of Class]/[Meeting Number/Date]/" and usually that's enough stratification to have manageable files.

Physically, I have one of these document organizers where I place "to-be-read" papers (each compartment corresponds to a different course or project [or ideas for future projects within a certain domain]); I also have one of these magazine files where I place my "have read" files that I still need to keep handy (i.e., ongoing projects, courses where I have assignments, etc.); lastly, I just find 3-ring binders for papers that I don't think I'll be using too frequent (papers from previous courses, etc.).



It's a little exhaustive of a system, but it works great for me. I'm only a first year, and a lot of the professors say they wish they were as organized as this when they started grad school. It really makes finding papers an ease (between my online and physical file structures).

Don't worry. Schools are on different schedules and timelines and there are a lot of applications. I disagree with regal's theory of some computer algorithm for a number of reasons. I'll note my long post is in regards to competitive funded PhD programs (like Psych). One it is against the terms of use for ETS tests (aka GREs) to apply cut off scores and algorithms. This doesn't mean schools can't set minimum requirements or suggest competitive scores to keep some people from even applying. It'd be a scandal if schools got caught using a system to weed out on numbers alone. However one school revealed through its contact with applicants that you "met the minimum graduate school requirements and your application will now be forwarded to the department for their decision to be made" aka they screen out in the larger grad school then pass it along.

Two you don't need an algorithm when you can throw applicants aside easily if something is "missing" and the deadline passed. You either set high hurdles (complicated application process, multiple chances for info to get lost, etc) and discourage some possible applicants or you as a school know some LORs will never arrive (or transcripts, or scores, or documents) and thus can reject based on incomplete applications. How many people would apply then read the average grades/scores of successful applicants and say "that isn't me" or realize a LOR never arrived and thus application never got looked at. Easy weed out right there.

Thirdly even just a quick glance at an essay or CV can reveal something very appealing about an applicant. Remember in some fields it is ALL about fit with a professor's research. If something piques the interest of a reader, professor, or admissions committee member that could get the applicant at least a second glance or even an interview. Since some schools screen out using the larger grad school "minimum requirements" as an unofficial screen out process, they already know the applicants they see in the dept are at least somewhat intelligent individuals and if that fit is there it may be worth a shot to interview them.

Some schools insist they (the committee) review every single applicant, like someone else said likely with a quick read over but still human eyes checking it out. Schools, especially funded ones with a name to build, are fearful to miss out on the next big superstar of their research areas. Sure a perfect GRE and GPA is great but is not a great predictor of overall success in the program or in the field. (Close to 60% of doctoral students end up in ABD status for years and many never get a PhD because of it, high scores don't predict ability to survive and finish in grad school).

A great match and fit coupled with dedication, motivation, and a unique research interest IMO overrides some numbers. If they don't review most applications they might miss out on something amazing and a competitor school might instead get that next research superstar. You have to consider what they really want. I'd say they want a dedicated motivated and very loyal student who will do the dirty work of TAing, teaching, or grunt research work without hesitation and help that professor with respect and focus. And one that will make them look good later down the line. And maybe some want to help the next generation of researchers but really its about what you can do for them and their name.

My theory on delayed rejections is as follows: In some cases (as another pointed out) the schools already cherry pick their top picks and set up interviews and push the rest aside (eh we'll let them get their rejection later because our focus is on these top picks) and thus a simple issue of allocating resources to getting the very best applicants they can. However this doesn't explain wait lists and acceptances that come after the first picks have been looked at and "wined and dined."

Wait lists are a nice way of saying "Well our top applicants are so cream of the crop that they may go to even better schools so you're our second and third pick. When 2 or 3 of our dream applicants reject us we'll come to you and offer you their spot." Same with late acceptances. The school either realizes a top applicant isn't what they expected or the person is likely to turn the school down so they keep a bunch of applicants on tap in case. Which explains why some schools don't send out rejections until well after the initial interview/acceptances. If you reject a possible student they may go elsewhere in meantime and as a school you want to meet your quota and have backups as needed.

As for the schools that are quick and make their decision at the same time, that is how in a perfect world we'd want it to work. We selected 50 people for interviews and will offer admission to 10 of them and wait list 5 of them and know 3 or 4 of the top 10 won't come here so the rest of you are rejected.


Of course a supervisor of mine had another theory: Keep in mind these individuals went through the same hard, scary, intense application process. They obviously made it through the process and thus see this all as part of the game they had to go to, so you have to go through it too.

The visit is for both of you and the program to learn about mutual fit. They've already admitted you so this will mostly be about trying to impress you and trying to convince you to choose their program, but also about learning more about you. It'll probably be pretty similar to pre-acceptance interviews except more relaxed - there will be meetings with professors, opportunities to meet grad students and ask questions, classes you'll be invited to sit in on, and lunch/dinner/party events. Dress comfortably and not too fancy, prepare questions to help you gather all the information you need to make an informed decision, and don't forget to have fun! (Some people bring gifts for their grad students hosts; personally a sincere 'thank you' is enough for me.)

Thought this was pretty funny...if all else fails, I might get inspired to do the same!

Dear Admissions Committee:
Having reviewed the many rejection letters I have received in the last few weeks, it is with great regret that I must inform you I am unable to accept your rejection at this time.
This year, after applying to a great many colleges and universities, I received an especially fine crop of rejection letters. Unfortunately, the number of rejections that I can accept is limited.
Each of my rejections was reviewed carefully and on an individual basis. Many factors were taken into account - the size of the institution, student-faculty ratio, location, reputation, costs and social atmosphere.
I am certain that most colleges I applied to are more than qualified to reject me. I am also sure that some mistakes were made in turning away some of these rejections. I can only hope they were few in number.
I am aware of the keen disappointment my decison may bring. Throughout my deliberations, I have kept in mind the time and effort it may have taken for you to reach your decision to reject me.
Keep in mind that at times it was necessary for me to reject even those letters of rejection that would normally have met my traditionally high standards.
I appreciate your having enough interest in me to reject my application. Let me take the opportunity to wish you well in what I am sure will be a successful academic year.
SEE YOU IN THE FALL!
Sincerely,
Paul Devlin
Applicant at Large

These are the ones I can most relate to. Especially #5 -- I had a huge mental hurdle to clear when it came time to ask my undergrad profs for LORs. I was terrified that they would tell me not to apply, that I'd never get a job, etc -- but they were all really supportive. I saved their emails for days when I'm feeling crappy.

I also realized that

-support is really important. Part of why I love the Grad Cafe.

-there is always a typo. No matter how many times you proofread, there will be some kind of mistake, and it's not the end of the world. In that vein....

-you shouldn't look at SOPs once they've been submitted.

1. I am more terrified of rejection than I thought, but I've found ways to pre-emptively deal with it. Working out my plan B, reading rejection posts and articles, and considering each school rejecting me before they have the chance. I'm sure I'll still be disappointed, but a lot of the things that I hadn't considered have now been considered an dealt with. Note: I say this as I unsubscribe from all mailing lists and check my spam mail.

2. Amazingly, despite all of my issues and shortcomings, I am graduating in 3 months. I was losing that accomplishment in the midst of all these applications. It took me 8 years, with 3 years of medical and psych issues causing me to withdraw, two universities, and about 10 doctors to get it sorted out. But I did it, that's a real accomplishment, I need to stop selling myself short because of what may or may not happen in the future.

3. People are amazingly ignorant when it comes to education.

4. Support from strangers is far more encouraging than I expected.

I've applied to seven programs and have gotten into two so far. I was informed of the offers of admission via phone. I had contacted professors at both schools beforehand. The professor (from School X) and I corresponded via email: four emails in late September and three brief emails right before submitting. We also met very briefly at MLA (unintentionally as it turned out, which made me think of cosmic timing and all that. I believe decisions were made shortly after MLA. But that's another story.) School Y's professor and I have been talking on the phone for months. He approached me at a conference, got my contact info, and we've been in contact since August. We talk about three times a week on the phone. I know it sounds strange but I'm older than he is, our academic interests really match up, and we've become friends. And maybe he really wants me to go to his school. (And this is another story to be told at a more opportune moment, I believe.)

In addition to X and Y, a third school, probably the most prestigious of the seven, informed me of my status today: interview. I emailed the head of grad admissions to ask about the length of the SOP back in December. That was it. They emailed me this morning to tell me that I am a finalist and they want to fly me out for an interview--How did I manage to get an interview? (All finalists must interview.)

Having said all this, here are some things to keep in mind:

There are systemic issues way out of our control--you're coming in as a modernist and the really bad-ass modernist professor is: already working with four students/going on sabbatical/is retiring/trying to focus only on research and can't take on students/pulling for a student he or she has already worked with through a research internship, etc. In short, rejected/waitlisted applicants should not always take things personal. (Easier said than done, especially coming from someone who has been admitted to two programs so far and has been invited to interview for a third.)
Maybe it is the Statement of Purpose, not so much that it's badly written: it's safe to assume that English majors can write decently, but maybe the SOP shows little awareness of the genre. I learned from my Rhet/Comp friends how important it is to look at successful models and analyze structure, as well as consider variations and the extent to which an SOP can depart from conventions--not so much as it turns out. I looked at successful applicants' SOPs and there were differences in terms of structure but nothing radically distinct in terms of content--past research, future research, which professors' interests can profitably guide this future research, etc. And always a compelling narrative thread; which is not to say that it was a short story but that it contained a sustained, integrated rationale for pursuing literary studies that tied the whole thing together.
I strategically only chose to apply to schools with at least two professors whose specializations seemed to match with my future projects (though not always 100% but close enough). This left out a lot of the Ivy Leagues because I couldn't see myself working with certain professors who specialized in stuff I found to be, quite frankly, boring. (It probably isn't, just not to my liking, simply a matter of preference.) This made applying easier, though not easy. I just mean that when writing my SOPs and Personal Statements I could draw from a sharply defined pool of past, current, and future research interests. Because I didn't have to make up stuff or radically change my research interests, I had an easier time writing. It was still the most difficult thing I've ever done, though. The psychological roadblocks were terrible and I got into a really bad relationship to cope: the drama made me feel alive. I know this makes a lot of sense. But again, yet another story for another time. (I digress.)
When I contacted professors from schools X & Y, I was always brief in the initial email. I just introduced myself, the Master's program I was in, and my research interests. Because these were sharply defined for me, I was able to ask a question about the type of research that could be done at their school or, if possible, I would ask about something I was working on at the moment. I avoided emailing to ask about the obvious or to gush about how much I would love to gain admittance. I was always purposeful and brief. When one of their suggestions bore fruit, sometimes way later, I sent a quick email to show what I'd learned and say thanks. In other words, the content of my emails were always oriented toward intellectual or professional considerations that a thorough once-over of their Eng. dept. website couldn't address or that a cursory knowledge of their research areas wouldn't cover.
I'm not sure why or how I was invited to interview at the third school. I really can't say.
Rules work half of the time and they fail the other half. Sometimes there's no telling why a great applicant does not get in. Read Beckett and Sartre to see how absurd our quest to find meaningful patterns is. Sometimes you just have to respect the grammatical period at the end of the statement "I didn't get in and I don't know why." Acceptance of your lack of acceptance. You be the committee you wished you'd had. Or if you're courageous, you can ask the department what the weaknesses of your application were in order to iron out the kinks the second time around. But most people won't do this.
I apologize if I sound like a pedantic arse. I don't mean to. My attempt was to be as specific and clear as I could in case my experience might be helpful to some of you. I don't claim to have all the answers, except maybe on the topic of dirty limericks. By which I mean I know none, but the phrase "dirty limericks" certainly makes me sound cooler than I am.
And I do feel a little bit guilty that I got in, I must say, especially because I have found most commenters in the threads I've read to be such supportive, kind individuals. Many exhibit this beautiful ability to commiserate with and encourage others even as they might be feeling down themselves. I don't think it's fair. But, hey, I was the middle child, the chubby nerd and not the handsome athlete my brother is, so forgive me if I do secretly (well, up until writing this sentence) relish my getting in. I mean, all those years of being teacher's pet (and elbowing little grade-grubbing upstarts: it hasn't been easy, folks) have culminated in gaining admittance. This is the ultimate fantasy of a sad, lonely teacher's pet whose self-worth is tragically tied to approval from teachers/professors. I'm addicted to seeing that light of intense interest in my teachers' eyes when I propose or present a project. I live for that light. Without it, I am nothing. You all are all probably capable of loving. You can take pleasure in life's little moments. And for this I should be pitied.

But I am good looking now. I kind of look like a Latino Zach Galifianakis but with Humphrey Bogart nerd glasses , which to me is the ultimate in sexy, if my mirror does not lie. Which it doesn't.

Hold me.

Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins - "You Are What You Love" (Also, "Rise Up With Fists." The whole "Rabbit Fur Coat" album, really.)

These are the ones I can most relate to. Especially #5 -- I had a huge mental hurdle to clear when it came time to ask my undergrad profs for LORs. I was terrified that they would tell me not to apply, that I'd never get a job, etc -- but they were all really supportive. I saved their emails for days when I'm feeling crappy.

I also realized that

-support is really important. Part of why I love the Grad Cafe.

-there is always a typo. No matter how many times you proofread, there will be some kind of mistake, and it's not the end of the world. In that vein....

-you shouldn't look at SOPs once they've been submitted.