CarlieE

If it's any help, during my interview trip to my university I mentioned to my (then potential) POI and the co-chair of the dept that I was planning on having kids in grad school, probably at the end of my field work year and just as I begin dissertation writing. I also mentioned that I am not married and am not planning on marrying my partner. I also have visible tattoos which I did not hide AND had to explain that my ex-husband stalked me during my first few years in college which led to an F on a transcript. The faculty/committee members are human too and they've seen/heard/experienced life too. Ultimately, I got accepted with a full ride for 6.5 years. Another cohort mate (female) has a toddler and at the beginning of the 1st semester announced that she is pregnant. The dept has been very supportive so far. Another cohort mate (male) has 2 grade school aged kids. I've also found out that several other students (females) have had children during the course work years and that hasn't really held anyone back. Or rather, the dept has been cool with allowing people to move at their own pace more or less and has offered time off for those who have needed it. I think it does depend on the school and the culture of the department. It might help to find out if there are young parents amongst the faculty or if any had their children during grad school or early pre-tenure years.

Just thought this might be helpful... My university (I'm currently in the 1st yr of a PhD in a social science) calls the trip a "Recruitment Weekend" but it IS competitive. They paid for all our travel costs, including lodging and meals (except for 2 meals) BUT not all of us got offers. There were 17 of us in person and about 7 others who were skype interviews and in the end 13 of us got offers. Wording can be tricky... I would make the safer assumption that an interview weekend, regardless of whether they pay or how it's styled, will be competitive and is not an indication of acceptance, but rather an indication of interest.

Hi All, I wasn't going to, but since I've noticed a lot of other threads with GPA and grade concerns, I thought I'd add an update for my situation. Perhaps it will help someone else get perspective on theirs. So I spoke with Prof A. Incidentally, I emailed Prof B too (both in the same email), but never heard back from Prof B (the one outside my dept.) Anyway, the conversation went extremely well; a number of issues were pointed out to me about my paper which were very fair criticisms. I got to understand that a lot of the professor's personality goes into the grade, especially when much of the grade depends on qualitative work or discussion. Some professors tend to be more understanding of intellectual experimentation than others; some are looking for specific things - words, phrases, ideas; some hold grad students to the same professional standards as they would a working, tenured professor (in order to enculture a sense of standard in the student) while other don't and so on. I also got some good advice about not taking it too seriously since ultimately, my future won't depend on the one grade. We're bound to get disappointments like these, not because we haven't tried or not even because our work wasn't good enough, but simply because it didn't fit the course or what was asked of us. In some cases, its just misinterpreting what we thought they wanted. For anyone who got a bad grade, I'd recommend emailing or calling the professor and asking, professionally, if they'd be willing to discuss where you went wrong. (note: not where THEY went wrong, but where You went wrong.) Doing this really helped give me a perspective on the course, and on graduate life in general.

This is a great piece of advice. I also just finished my first semester of a PhD in a social science where discussions are very highly regarded. I've never been one to shy away from speaking up in class, but I was intimidated this first semester and it took a LOT for me to say something. Once I did get started it got easier; I got feedback from my cohort mates in class that was positive as well as positive feedback from my professors, which made it easier. That said, here's a funny story - I can laugh at it now: in my first presentation for a class I said "... It's not knowledge with a capital "N"...." The class burst into laughter, and when I realized what I said, I started laughing too. It wasn't that people were laughing AT me, but it WAS funny. I meant that there are several knowledges and that there's no Absolute Knowledge or Truth... And I kinda made my point clear by inadvertently misspelling the word. (note: I got an A in that class in the end so my Ooops didn't make a difference.) I think what freaked me out the most about speaking up in the class was that we have a cohort member who is very... knowledgeable about the readings.This person tends to name drop and refer to a lot of scholarship that is related but was not part of the assigned readings. This was helpful in one way but it also alienated a lot of people in the class who hadn't read those works. It might help to consider the overall dynamic of the class as well and see if there are other factors at play which hold you back and then, once identified, you can assess how to overcome them specifically.

Hi All, Thanks for the great feedback. I'm in a PhD program and it a really good one, consistently in the top 10 for my discipline. I did write back to Prof A and accepted his offer for a phone conversation. I did add in the email where I am emotionally and what my concerns were about getting this grade ie. what we were told at orientation and the seriousness of getting such a grade/how it might adversely affect moving on in the program etc. I wanted Prof A to know the frame of mind I'm in and where some of my concerns and questions might be stemming from. I haven't heard back yet about a time for a phone conversation, but it IS getting close to Christmas and he IS out of town so I'll just wait (not that I could do anything else other than wait). I'm not interested in changing the grade necessarily - but if he DID offer to make it better, I would't say no! So, yes, I just feel blindsided and would like to know where I messed up. I'm definitely in much better shape today; I think it did help to get it out "on paper" here on the forum and in emailing Prof A back with my concerns. Thank you all again!!

Hi All, So grades are just starting to come in and I got a B+. In any other world, that wouldn't be a bad grade, but we were told at the beginning of the semester - my first semester - that a B grade is going to viewed negatively at our end of year evaluations. Given that the grading system at my school is only As and Bs (though with +/- designations) I can't help but logically conclude that As are passes and Bs are fails. At best, a B+ is equivalent to a C- since the description of a B in the handbook sounds like a D ("should be taken as a warning") and a B- is "unacceptable graduate work." The older cohorts confirmed this: one girl told me specifically that the professors really aim to give As and so one has to really screw up to get a B. The reason I'm feeling so down about it - other than the possible repercussion of being tossed out of my program - is that I kept in regular contact with my professors and had no indication that I wasn't doing well. The course was run by 2 professors, one who is in my dept, and the other who is not. Both were present in (nearly) all the class meetings which were once a week - a seminar style, discussion based on reading class (I'm in a social science). I did all the readings, was present in class, added and took from the discussions. I did all the assignments and presentations on time and received positive feedback from both professors and the other students. Over the course of the semester I went to see one professor twice in his office, walked regular across campus with the other and saw him in his office officially once. I was also in regular email correspondence with the latter professor who is the one in my dept (though he's not my advisor). That latter professor even wrote me an LOR for a grant I'm applying for and said that he gave me a very positive letter! We had a final paper (and reaction papers throughout the course) and we had to present twice on our final paper drafts so they could see where we were at and so on. I did both presentations, got good feedback and incorporated their suggestions into the paper. I don't know where I went wrong! What makes it even more confusing is that I took another course in which the professor who is in my dept was my paper reader and in THAT class I got an A (there is no A+, just A and A- ). My SO suggested that I email both professors and professionally ask for feedback so I can improve for next semester. I did this, and got a very prompt response from the prof in my dept (I'll just say Prof A from now on). It was a short email, but to the point: don't take the grade too hard, I'll be glad to discuss it with you (me), we should talk about this - when's a good time to talk over the phone (he's out of town for the break), and finally, I recommended an A/A- for X course (the one I did an A for). I haven't emailed back yet with my number and a time to call. I'm so emotional about the matter that I almost can't trust myself not to burst into tears over the phone, or worse, get upset and angry and become defensive. (That in itself is a dilemma: do I accept the offer of a phone conversation and risk getting upset or decline the offer, stick to email and risk misreading everything or worse, giving the impression I don't care?) I spent all day yesterday feeling like the world really did end, crying hysterically and not being able to stop the tears from coming. I had "imposter syndrome" all semester and now it feels like my fears have just been confirmed. I'm waiting on a grade for my 3rd class - it feel like that'll be the swing vote. If it's an A I can feel like I still have hope, if it's a B... well... I don't really know what I'm asking from you, forum readers, I guess I just wanted a place I could get all this out. It feels like I don't have anyone I could really talk to who could relate. I told two cohort mates, and an older cohort student: I got very sympathetic and very... piteous "wow, am I glad I'm not you" kind of responses. They're good people but I get that "rats deserting a sinking ship" feeling. I feel like I've lost the respect of my cohort mates. I know deep down I don't want to withdraw from the program and it seems ridiculous to do so based on one grade, but maybe, as much as I want to be here, I just am not good enough.

Thanks for the iport iinfo - didn't know about that link! The website says no decision made yet - but then the person who posted said they got the good news via post so.... Either it's one of the pending 5 or the decisions coming in the mail before the website gets updated (odd though if that's the case)......

Just wondering... I noticed someone posted they got accepted into GSU for the Fall via post. If you're that lucky person and are willing to share, could you tell us more?

I'm seriously dating within my department. My bf have 2 classes together as well. The relationship is going really well and we're moving together to where I got accepted into a Phd program... (we live together now already) BUT, although our situation turned out really well, I could see that there could be problems with "in-dating". Being in the same dept, field and courses could result in a competitive atmosphere that COULD be really good or really bad. You might be competing for the same grants, fellowships etc. And then there's the issue of spending too much time together and not being able to get away. We've had arguments that have sprung up just because we've gotten frustrated with being around each other too much; but we recognize the problem and then deliberately spend time apart. Also, we do have a lot of mutual friends - but we also have maintained separate social circles as well so that we have people to hang out with WITHOUT each other. There has to be a certain amount of trust; I have a lot of male friends and some of them are his friends as well, but my bf acknowledges and understands that I need to spend time with these friends without him around just like I did before we started dating. And vice versa. Despite all this, I think that because we are in the same field and deal with the same issues, we can understand and relate to each other's problems. Before my current bf I dated a man that was not in school and even though he was understanding, he couldn't fully relate to my "work" problems or complaints. I think "in-dating" is just like "out-dating" - endogamy or exogamy - it's still dating and either way comes with issues and benefits.

Armadilla - I didn't have a publication, however, I made it a point to present papers at student conferences at my UG uni. If you want to publish, a lot of universities have undergraduate journals that are an option. Perhaps the UG journal isn't strictly anthropology, but might be a regional one, or in another social science, but they are worth looking into. I'm not entirely sure what made my application successful, but I'm inclined to think it was because 1) I made my dissertation topic very clear in my SOP (I took research and design in a grad/UG cross-listed course and wrote a draft for a MA thesis proposal - this was where I began developing my ideas for my research) 2) I contacted the POI via email and discussed my proposed research before I applied 3) I had a good GPA and a lot of courses in my sub-field and area of interest 4) I have skills in 2 pertinent languages to my region (instead of 1 language I took 2 and got overrides to have some of my language courses applicable to my minor requirements) 5) I was very active in applying for scholarships and doing study abroad programs and I got a some key scholarships that allowed me to study abroad in the region I'm focusing on. All that said, my GRE scores were not good. My qualitative was good but my quantitative scores were horrendous. Also, I took a double major and a minor so I had 2 senior years (they called it a Super Senior year at my uni) rather than finishing in the prescribed 4 years. I know a lot of people work, but I didn't work during my UG. Instead my habit of applying for scholarships/grants resulted in me getting a full tuition waiver and a monthly stipend. I'm a fan of the "don't work harder, work smarter" school of thought. I think that I got in because I put a lot of effort and thought into my UG. If there was a student conference coming up, I wrote a paper for it and presented it; if there was a research opportunity for an UG I applied for it - even if it wasn't completely up my alley; if there was a scholarship available I applied for it - on average, per semester, I'd apply for 5 or 6 grants/scholarships; I tried to attend all the seminars/talks offered by the department and I took notes in all of them; whenever I wrote a paper I always asked for feedback on it, how to improve it etc - even if I got an A on the paper - and then I'd implement the changes and ask the prof to read it over the break; if a prof mentioned an optional book in class or just mentioned an author as a remark in class I'd read it or look up articles by that author. I'm not saying that I'm the best student - but I wanted to be a serious contender so I put a lot of effort into making my CV look really good, and giving my profs substance so they could write me good LORs. If I put this much effort into my UG, there's a good chance I'll do the same (or more) in my PhD program. I think that that's why I got accepted into a PhD program.

Thanks for the advice juilletmercredi! I went ahead and got one (refurbished through Apple) and got a wireless keyboard...

I've used most the sites listed above, but also half.com which is run by ebay. I've never sold books so I don't know how they are on that end, but as a buyer I've had good experiences with half.com Also, sometimes you can find ones you need on betterworldbooks.com.

Nice thread! Just read this article in the Chronicle of Higher ed. http://chronicle.com/article/Seeking-the-Mentors-You-Need/131747/?sid=oh&utm_source=oh&utm_medium=en It's about "how to find a mentor", what to expect from one, what to expect as one etc. And also talks about mentoring circles, rather than a single mentor. I thought it was pertinent to the discussion here.

Just thought this might be helpful... I'm moving from IL to GA and I have found out that security deposits work differently in different states! I expected first, last and sec deposit up front, but due to good credit I only pay first month's rent! It was a pleasant surprise but I could see how the reverse would be awful.

While I think this is mostly true, I'm in a situation which is different. I'm finishing my UG and entering a tier 1 PhD in the Fall with a cohort that is mostly made up of UG grads without MAs. We all have full funding and 12 mo stipends. My point is, while it IS competitive, I think your gf should keep this in mind when she starts looking at where to apply. With that said, I am coming in with 2 field schools (arch), 2 study abroad programs, 1 UG research apprenticeship (linguistics). My sub-field is cultural. I agree that cultural research is hard to come by and generally expensive, but I think you can broaden your appeal to a PhD program by showing how you've developed your research and analytic skills in the other 3 sub-fields. If you do find a study abroad in the region of your interest, I think it's worth it to do it. There are a lot of grants and scholarship money available for study abroad if you're willing to do the research (it's how I paid for both of mine). Also, look at study abroad programs/field schools that are offered by Other universities - often they will allow you to piggy-back onto their program and you'll still get credit for it at your home institution.

Are you planning on reapplying at Berkeley for a PhD after the MA at Stanford? It sounds like you're hoping to get into the PhD at Stanford but thought I would ask. This seems like a potentially bad situation for you if you can't extricate yourself from Berkeley... I agree with hungry's advice above, but even so, the Berkeley advisor might be offended which might be a bad thing for you in the future... Also, could Berkeley have a case against Stanford for student "poaching"? If so, are there any negative ramifications for you?

I think this all depends on what you mean by "social life". If it means getting drunk 4 out of 7 nights of the week and partying, then I'm going to go with no.... But, I don't think grad school means you can't maintain friendships, hang out with friends, go and have dinner, go to the bar and have a few drinks, or watch a movie etc and still heavily party once in a while. It's all about time management IMO..

My bf is waiting on Georgia State Uni... their deadline was in mid-March but as of 1.5 weeks ago they still hadn't met to make decisions.... It's crazy but I am freaking out on HIS behalf!!

Seriously going to begin buying my books in electronic versions so long as the page numbers match for citations. I'm 30 and have a lot of stuff I don't want to part with or have to shell out money to replace so I'm taking it with me 800 miles south. I also don't have the money to replace some of the things, so... oh well. The bf and I are getting a 20ft uhaul and biting the bullet and driving down there with my car in tow. I kind of priced it out, based on $4.00+ a gallon for gas and it'll cost us about $1600+/-. But it does help that we're both moving so we're splitting the cost of it....

Really interesting thread! Here's an article I read in the CHE about graduates, career counseling and jobs outside of academia of anyone's interested. http://chronicle.com/article/Graduate-Schools-Need-to/131595/

Hi All! I was wondering if anyone could offer perspectives on this. I have a netbook and a full size laptop right now, but am thinking of retiring the netbook in favor of an iPad with a bluetooth keyboard. Right now I use the netbook to take with me to classes, to do work in the library or out at the local cafe. I also use it to travel overseas since it's smaller and lighter, easier to pull out during security check points etc. But I can't annotate PDFs on it and since I'm trying to get most of my readings electronically this way now, I am attracted to the idea of using an iPad. There've been really good reviews about apps that let you annotate PDFs and also handwriting apps for note-taking in class. Has anyone had any experience with this? Or can offer ideas on why this might be a good idea or a bad idea? How are the word type apps on the iPad for typing out papers (for just a few hours work)? Since there's no USB port is this a serious hindrance? (I don't think there's a USB port for a flash drive... right?) Thanks

I'm finishing up my BA now too and it's been hard getting through this semester. I'm taking 3 grad level courses and 1 other UG course and I just need to get through it, and like you try to finish up with good grades. I've kept a perfect GPA almost all the way through and it would be great to end on that high note... but wow, the senioritis has been tough to beat. (I'm in the last week now!!!) One of my profs said that it would be ideal to end on a high GPA since the transcript does keep following us all the way through, and if we stay in academics, all through our careers (though the value of the UG transcript decreases as other things get added to our CV)... Good Luck everyone! My 2 cents about getting an offer rescinded... I don't think they can unless you out-and-out flunk your last semester or have falsified your grades/CV/application.

I would say that things haven't been "catty" around here but... We have a pretty mixed group of grads and UGs in our dept and we all hang out together socially. One of my friends got into the MA program from being an UG here, and one of our other friends applied to the MA the following season. Both got in, but the first season applicant got a TAship and a tuition waiver, while the other who applied the following season did not get anything. There was a difference of a year in applications and the budget took a dip. What makes it feel unfair is that the 2nd student is really a "better" student than the first. The difference in packages has taken a toll on the friendship and things have changed socially for the worse. Sigh... it happens. But overall, I think ours was an isolated incident. Everyone has been really supportive of those of us who got into PhDs or MAs elsewhere.

I'm putting this one on a t-shirt.

Not to be a negative nancy, but I had a conversation with one of my professors recently on this topic and he had said he knew of a couple - both were PhDs and one had a tenure track job on the West Coast, while the other found one on the East Coast. They kept the relationship going, got married, had children and had a commuting relationship for 10+ years until one of the spouses got a job on the Other Coast. Then they finally got to live together. It's not the same field as you're in but I thought the anecdote might help with an idea of very real difficulties and real-life solutions that people find during tough job markets. And to add to it, once this discussion got going I found out that I know 2 other professors, just at my uni who have similar commuting relationships. Good Luck