piccgeek

Worst mass email ever--last year Notre Dame sent the same rejection email to about 40 English lit applicants. They didn't even bother putting in our names. It was like a slap in the face to my humanity.

If I get into MIT, I will immediately buy plane tickets to go Boston to meet the faculty and show my fiance the acceptance letter in person. In the meantime, I will run around like a small child and freak out my cats with my dancing and singing.

I'll bite. I'm applying to a science writing program. Introductory biology is the only science class I've taken since high school. I think I must have been on crack when I decided this was a good idea.

This, for me, was the hardest part. My fiance, applying in a completely different field but to the same schools, got into 14 programs (he applied to both chemistry and computer science at all 7 schools we applied to. He's nauseatingly brilliant.) I didn't get rejected EVERYWHERE last year--I got into my undergrad school, which I KNEW I was going to be accepted to because I won their award for top graduating senior in English, and after a big departmental fight over waitlisting the top senior a couple years ago, there's basically an unwritten rule that if the top senior applies to the grad program, they get in. So even though I am getting to pursue my studies, that acceptance letter did very little to repair my shattered confidence after 6 rejection letters. My wonderful fiance tried really hard to comfort me, but the stack of acceptance letters and his paid-for visits to meet potential advisers rendered his good intentions somewhat hollow. I was super depressed, and everyone tried to cheer me up by reminding me that I was going to get to go to school, and that the rejections didn't mean I wasn't smart or anything, but I wasn't listening. I have another friend, very very brilliant, who applied to 7 or 8 programs in US History with absolutely stellar LORs (I overheard one of her profs at our honors undergrad conference describe her as the best student he'd ever had) and got rejected everywhere. She spent a summer studying abroad with a prof in India and has been on our campus doing research, taking a few grad courses, and is applying again this season. She was bummed, but she dusted herself off and just made her CV even stronger. So, moral of the story is...rejection sucks. A lot. It hits you where you live. It's like they're rejecting YOU, all of you, you as a human being, but that's not true. Hopefully you won't have to face the worst case scenario, but if you do, you will find a way to pick up the pieces and move on with your life, because really, what other choice do you have?

Last year, February was the longest month ever. My fiance got five acceptance letters, and I heard nothing. Waiting sucks. I'm having the same issue I think many of us are--now that the application is out of my hands and completely beyond my control, I keep thinking of things I could have/would have done, and now I think it's laughable that I presumed to apply to this program, whereas in October and November when I was working on the app and submitting it, I was pretty confidant. *sigh* Ah, the emotional russian roulette of grad school apps...

My fiance. Then my maid-of-honor...if I get into my program, my wedding is getting moved up a year and will be only 4 months after the news arrives (ah the joys of living on an academic schedule), so we will have some work to do. I keep telling myself if I don't get in, at least it means I'll actually have time to plan the wedding without going absolutely stark raving mad. Then, you know, parents, grandparents, results page, facebook, my students and teachers and anyone who happens to be in earshot and hears me shout to the world in glee.

Pretty much the main reason I'm even in the application cycle this season is because I miss my fiance. We're both in grad school now--he's phd track at MIT and I'm in my first year of a two year MA program at our undergrad school in Indiana. The distance isn't killing our relationship or anything, but I'm finding I find my coursework less fulfilling because I'm unhappy with the distance situation, so I found a completely new potential field and applied to MIT. During last year's round of applications, when we were both in the thick of the process, I was hellbound on a phd and an academic career, and while he also wanted a phd he was (and still is) planning on a career in the private sector, so that made the long-term future more flexible. We did what several of the previous posters have described--made a list of universities/cities where we would both be happy, hoping that we could both get into at least one school on that list, and then we both applied to our mutual undergrad as a just-in-case. He got in everywhere, I got in nowhere except the undergrad. I couldn't ask him to stay here (even though it's a really good program in his field) when he got into the number one school, so he packed up and headed out to Boston (well, Cambridge technically, I suppose). Whether or not I pursue a PhD after this MA, I am definitely following him to Boston while he finishes the PhD. If I don't get into any programs out there, I'll find a job. After one semester of a long distance relationship and graduate studies, I've decided I love him more than the through-the-looking-glass wonderland that is the English departments of American academia. I won't lie--a big reason I'm shying away from academia as a career is the fear that i will spend the next 20 years of my life wondering how he and I will be together. I mean, all couples have to make these decisions, but we all know the academic life is particularly unstable until that magical mystical time of tenure.

I don't know...a prof from my program told me that in the adcom for admits to the American Lit part of the Lit phds, they make lists of ten who are about equal, and at some point they get to the middle list and just kind of....pick. As he kept reminding me as I hyperventilated through application season, the adcoms aren't losing any sleep over this. So if you don't get in anywhere, there's not necessarily anything you could have done better (or maybe there was a LOT you could have done better...who knows?). Aaaaaand now I'm depressing myself.

I'm not absolutely sure...but I THINK that they'll send all your scores no matter what. That was my experience, anyway...possibly I don't know how to navigate the crazy ETS system properly.

Wow. That is so sad and frightening. I mean, I know people who get a little eye-twitch whenever funding is mentioned but...this is something else.

I wouldn't worry about it too much--remember, EVERY SINGLE PERSON who took that test is applying to grad programs for lit, so that's a much narrower field than everyone who takes the general GRE, and the adcoms know that. I can offer an example from another subject test: my fiance scored somewhere around the 35th percentile on the chemistry subject GRE, and got into 3 top 10 programs (and also something like 5 computer science programs without even taking that subject exam, including MIT, so...yeah. Bloody brilliant, it's disgusting.) I talked to the profs at my school while I was in the GRE process, and most of them (including the ones on the adcom for that year) said they know the GRE lit exam is pretty much a crapshoot. Try not to worry about it too much, English is so much more than a numbers game!! Good luck!

All it takes is meeting one person from another department to open up a whole new sphere of social networking. The best way to meet people is, of course, through people...so really, your best bet is to just let yourself be social for the sake of being social once in a while. I've turned down so many nights out at the pub this year, and now I regret it. The few times I did go, I had a wonderful time and met lots of fun people and it never affected my work. Of course, part of the reason I'm such a hermit is that I'm living with my best friend, so being at home IS a social experience, to some extent, but still, I wish I had taken the time to meet some new people. I did manage to meet dozens of people from the animal science department because I made ONE friend (through my roommate) from that department, and she invited us to all kinds of fun parties/dinners/functions with her people. It was really great to meet people who work on the same campus, but in a different academic world. So I guess what I'm saying is...I do have time to go out and meet people, and I wish I would admit that to myself more often. I FEEL busy, and so I tell myself I am busy, but that's not ALWAYS true. And really, what do I do at home on these Friday nights when I say I can't go out because I need to work? I watch Buffy, play with our cats, and cruise gradcafe and facebook. Having (little bit of) a social life is like scheduled, productive procrastination. Just means I have to ACTUALLY work the next day.

I don't think the adcoms will be particularly judgmental about whether you submitted a cv or a resume. If it's organized, looks good, and contains everything you wanted to say, then it's a complete document, and that's what matters! In fact, if you think a cv would have look like you were trying to fit your credentials into a weird format, making it longer without any reason, for example, then a resume might be better! Plus, since resumes are more job-experience focused and the job experience you mentioned is applicable to English/writing/lit stuff, I think you're still making a strong claim about your relevant experience. So, I guess, to ME that sounds perfectly reasonable...but then again, who knows what how adcoms think??!?

I hate to be a downer but...next semester, when all you can do is wait, without any control, without knowing when anyone's going to get back to you...that also sucks. Not only because waiting is torture, but because no one will understand why it's so torturous. When I was waiting through December, January, February, and into March last year, I talked about grad school all the time. I worried about it, I checked the mail ten times a day, I tried not to describe various "what ifs" to my friends, but I couldn't help myself because the obsession was taking over my brain. Everyone thought I was nuts. So...yeah. This feeling like no one gets what you're going through? That's not going to get away next semester. *sigh* And just in case anyone was hoping for a rainbow at the end of this process...no one gets GRAD SCHOOL any better than they get the grad school application process. My mother told me yesterday that my stress over this final research paper I'm writing is "adorable" because she "knows I'm so good at this sort of thing." *face palm*

+1 to whatever your adviser says is needed. Adviser's word is law, (most of the time, anyway).

Lol, I wish being one of "them" got me anywhere. The moral of my story is that we're all on the same side here. I never posted asking for people to 'review' my qualifications because I didn't want to be obnoxious, and it looks like I made the right decision! This season my application is REALLY different because I'm 1) already in grad school and 2) applying to something really specific that's pretty different from my undergrad...so I don't think there's any hope of figuring out what's useful/good/bad anyway. The whole process is just as much of a mystery as it ever was.

+1 to everything Pamphilia said. I completed two honors programs in my undergrad (one for liberal arts, one for the university in general), and EVERYTHING I did for those programs helped rather than hurt me. The extra research opportunities are a major bonus to any grad school application, and honors undergrads often have opportunities to do things like mock colloquia that really help you get a feel for what grad school/the field is really all about. But more importantly than how the honors program will look on an application, if you really want to do English studies for the rest of your life, you should WANT to take the harder classes, do the extra projects, and whatever else is required for the honors program. Grad school is grueling even when you love your work, and there's no way to succeed in academia if you do what you need to get to the next step, but nothing more. Getting into grad school or getting a job--either way, the adcom/search committees are looking for applicants who did as much work as they possibly could, doing side projects and extra research and all that jazz. It's not a matter of having an "honors" on your diploma or a particular gpa, it's a matter of trying to do as much grad school type stuff before you actually get to grad school. And, of course, there's no reason that doing an honors program means you will get a lower gpa. It just means more work to get the good grades--and what's wrong with that? Like Pamphilia, I'm not trying to be mean (I really hope I don't sound mean), I'm just trying to be honest. Good luck with everything!

A virtual toast to this forum community and the positive feedback! I too get annoyed with people with amazing scores/gpas who seem to ask "what are my chances?" just as an excuse to broadcast their awesome qualifications, but on the other hand, as many previous posters have already said, everyone's anxious and many of these seeming attention-seekers are probably actually reassurance-seekers. Last year I went in to the application round I had a 3.98 gpa, 1300+ gre, and then got rejected everywhere except my undergrad (so much for any urge to brag...nothing deflates an ego like six rejection letters in a row); so don't judge the "high numerical score" people too harshly for their worries! We're all here looking for someone, anyone, who understands our manic application anxiety--because let's face it, how many of us, even those of us with super-supportive families, have people in our real lives who really "get it" about this process, especially for each of our particular programs? I suppose some people want or need the kind of hand-holding support Pamphilia mentioned: of course we know most people on this forum are fellow-applicants and on the same side of the great applicant/adcom divide, but every bit of reassurance helps for those of us checking our emails twenty times an hour in December for a program that doesn't usually send out decisions until March (c'mon, I know I'm not the only one who does this). Anyway...this conversation is reminding me why I didn't apply to law school. I could never be happy in an environment like that...who could??!? My roommate went from a creative writing BA to a highly competitive MBA program and she is definitely suffering culture shock in the environment of intense ambition and competition. I mean...academics have egos and agendas and they can manipulate with the best of them, but Law school/business school is like another world.

I don't know how serious your relationship with your girlfriend at Duke is, but I WISH so much I was in grad school with my fiance. We're both first year grad students, and the distance is really hard--not on our relationship, that's as stable as ever, but on our student experience. We both are always talking about how much easier things would be if we were together (coping with stress, trying to relax, feeling like you ever have a life outside of school, etc.). That said, the most important thing, of course, is what is best for your career. Socialpsych is totally right--your perception of the programs and how they fit you will probably change a lot of the course of the next few months. If both programs accept you, they will try to woo you to their side in various ways, and one offer/research opportunity/adviser/whatever might turn out to be significantly better than the other. Good luck!

Hey little ny, I am in my first semester (though it's MA, not PhD) and I TOTALLY HEAR YOU. Every single day I have to convince myself all over again to keep reading, keep writing, keep jumping through the hoops. Thank goodness I am NOT alone and far away from everyone, as you are--I'm still at my undergrad. It's weird because I forged an identity, a relationship with the department, based on being an undergrad. Now I have to resituate myself, and it's sometimes really hard. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone--everything is familiar, but warped and uncanny. Most of my undergrad friends and acquaintances have picked up and moved on, my undergrad roommate is now in business school here, so we still live together. However, we're both so busy that we only really talk every couple of days, when we pass in the kitchen with dazed looks in our eyes. Even with her still here, I feel very alone without my fiance--he got into a very prestigious PhD program across the country. He and I talk about eloping to Vegas and then running away to Japan. We probably have this conversation five times a week, and sometimes we get halfway through booking our plane tickets on expedia before we resign ourselves to continuing to try and get through the years of academia. Every day I ask myself "Why am I here? Did I come to grad school just because my profs told me I could? Am I getting anything out of this? Can anything be worth all this time and effort and misery?" I don't know, but I'm still hanging in there, at least for now, and I'm determined to reach at least the end of this year (I say that now. Give it a week when I'm in the middle of trying to finish up all my semester's projects and maybe I'll change my tune...). I'm hoping next semester will be *better,* somehow. Everyone seems to say things get better in the second semester. We're so close--we can do it! (For another couple weeks...? Maybe...????) Good luck, I hope things get better soon!!

Don't stress too much about the GRE. While a lot of the top schools do have GRE floors, usually the programs are significantly more concerned with one score or the other--in your case, they'll probably weigh the verbal heavier than the math. Pretty much all schools, and especially humanities programs, are more concerned with your writing/sop/lors than the quantitative stuff.

That SUCKS. Is there any way you can communicate the extenuating circumstances to your schools in case the transcripts don't get there in time?? Last year some of my GRE stuff got lost-in-translation and all my schools were very understanding about it when I explained the situation. Try not to freak out!

In my literature MA program, classes typically have anywhere from 200 to 600 pages a week per class of primary text and another 30-50 pages or so of accompanying critical theory, and you take 3 classes per semester. Most classes have a shorter-ish paper (8-10 pages) or a major presentation (20-40 minutes) in the middle and a more research substantial paper (15-25 pages, ten+ sources) due at the end of the semester. The workload and expectations are significantly higher than undergrad, but there are less classes, so it all balances. As someone applying to grad school, you've probably had higher standards for yourself in undergrad than many of your peers; grad school just expects everyone to maintain those standards. The biggest difference, for me anyway, is the level of in class discussion/exploration. Your classmates are as interested and invested in the subject as you are, so there's always actual dialogue in discussion, rather than awkward silence while a prof waits for an answer. It's awesome.

I'm a current MA, not PhD, and I agree with a lot of what the previous posters have said--it's about the whole package, not just the hard stats. Seems to me like the adcoms are most interested in your WRITING, both the writing samples and your SOP. But, for what it's worth (because I remember being where you are and wanting to know ALL the stats): BA from Purdue. University Honors, liberal arts honors, and highest distinction (which we have instead of suma cum laude for some reason or another...) gpa: 3.98 overall, 4.00 English GRE: 650 V, 660 Q, 5.5 A, 75th percentile in lit GRE I had very strong LORs, but I got rejected from the PhD programs I applied to. I know now that it wasn't because of the stats (which I think are pretty good, actually) or the LORs, but because my SOP wasn't focused. I don't think this was so much bad writing as the fact that, as a scholar, I just wasn't ready to settle into a specific research area. The (funded!) MA transition is really helping me find that focus. After being so bummed out about not getting straight into a PhD last round, I'm now grateful for it. Things happen for a reason! Good luck!!!

I'm not applying to ND this year, but South Bend is my hometown, and I can tell you...while the weather does SUCK, it's not impossible to live with. ND is a small-ish campus and the grad student living is not far from most of the buildings (as opposed to where I go to school), so that works out nicely.