Well, I do understand your situation and from the way you explain it well with us it seems like you were hurt by the situation you are in but you couldn't do anything because it was there already. I guess for you to have a peace of mind since you are aware of your situation why not start from accepting yourself first and the learning disability condiiton of yours. Honestly, from my point of view you are smart but what's important is you know what is exactly happening to you so from there make some adjustments. Don't ever think that you lack of this and that and learn to accept people around you for you to find some good enough people to be with you always and to accompany you. All of us need to fit ourselves to this world and for as long as we know we are here why not learn to face people rather than neglecting or hating them. Aside from that, why not go on a counseling to an expert to guide you along the way.