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About chalkdust

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  1. Love, Academia and Success

    Go read a book.
  2. What would you have done?

    I doubt she is trying to manipulate or use you
  3. What would you have done?

    Insecurities are symptomatic of life. Depression is symptomatic of consciousness when one has unfulfilled needs. They aren't your fault but they aren't hers either.
  4. Love, Academia and Success

    Nothing I say in analyzing anything or asserting myself can be absolute or objectively true. I'm white. But I'm half Austrian born in Switzerland. I talk about many interesting things and the higher ups and by this I mean kids in their twenties who are in my Nietzschean Jungian analysts words all idiots. Well the point is even if they are women. Even if they are published. Even if they are black ifa lukumi priests and Morehouse psychology professors. He calls them all idiots especially if they think they are doing anything more profound than adapting to a system they are good at adapting to. He wants me to be a free spirit. I don't throw around terms like objective or scientific to apply to a anything I have done or ever will do. And I could be wrong about that too. I am a Jungian and have been exposed to metaphysics and hermeneutics. I have exposed myself to Jacques lacan. So now I can't take anything seriously except my African iron God will. I could say I want to be a musician. I have listened to more than a decade of classic and obscure American African and Caribbean jazz salsa gwo ka biguine soul konpa zouk calypso and reggae. I have grown dreadlocks and cut them off. I have partied with geechee gullah crackheads. I have partied with the richest black undertakers in nola. I seek advice from houngans manbos and babalawos. I play folkloric Caribbean and mande music. I am learning malinke and Bambara dances. I have disrespected trinidadian and African Hebrew Israelite sistas because. Because because. I'm gonna start getting sarcastic. Because they thought I was disrespecting them. Because they thought I had the quote wrong energy. Because after being initiated into a adoration of black culture since the second grade well I thought the universe owed me the obliging arms of a black woman. I'm being sarcastic. I am well aware that there are narratives being employed and economically validated by blacks and even more so whites it seems. White folk that like to offend no one and be as hip as possible. And its fine for them. They will collect more black friends than I. So be it. Still being sarcastic. I'm trying to make a point here because this forum doesn't like me and I am sharpening my claws. The point is that oh wait did I mention I have hung out in the ghettos of the deep South? Yep a certain ghetto dweller I knew was sleeping with wilson Harris great grand daughter. Through her and her family it turns out I am connected to Ivan van sertima and Walter Rodney by two degrees of seperation. An interesting point is that I am half European and not divorced from my intellectual heritage. I havnt exactly mastered Marx herder schelling Jung konrad Lorenz Adolf Bastian or Wilhelm wundt. But it is a goal for my will. Nevertheless some African drummers didn't want to put up with me. I don't want to judge them too harshly. I have been drumming for nine years. I have known what anthropology was for An equal amount. I have been quote spurned by black women an equal amount. What I a m trying to say is I c a n barely dance. I am learning. But I like black women. So. I have been very self loathing in recent years. I desire many women like ten years younger than me because I was denied them ten years ago. Younger black women are my kryptonite if I ever seriously want to contribute to the global African professional experience. Things are looking up date wise though. But chances of grad school are slim. This post will probably be considered mysoginistic or racist by the little piggies. But I felt it was relevant because I already question my worth a lot. A whole lot lol.
  5. Love, Academia and Success

    I'm 34 and have never experienced love cept maybe once for five months. I have been celibate for ten years. I am exploited by the disciplines of African drumming and anthropology. Many times I fear that if I can't become fluent in creole and do decades worth of fieldwork in Haiti or Guyana or Trinidad then I am not a competent big man who black women from whatever country will love. But I know several black women who seem to think I am alright. I have learned to let the fear go. I would say to fall in love with your life. Be a good person. You are the star of the show. You are young and have made effective decisions. You will probably be .ok. I have known severe heartache and loneliness and I don't know what to tell you to do with it except find someone else to be the object of your affections. It will be good for your psyche. Try not to be too lead astray by thought and desire. That leads to a hellish mindstate. It will impede your destiny as well as your spiritual developement. Look up Carl jung and work on individuation. Look up Marie Louis von Franz and her books on alchemy and active imagination. Get some exercise and some hobbies. Try and work on relating to men you like. Ask them reasonable question about what you could do to be more um Eros charged or appealing or simply how to shift your approach.
  6. Love, Academia and Success

    Cheer up buttercup.
  7. popular things you hate

    And I'm European so I guess the Chinese feller hates me.
  8. popular things you hate

    Really the whole thing is rather absurd and stagnant.
  9. popular things you hate

    The boondocks TV show was good. The Buddhist actor is good. But I don't watch empire
  10. popular things you hate

    And I don't think be the nehisi Coates is that profound or that correct based on his public appearances. But I have yet to read his books. Prefer kwame Anthony appiah. Wilson Harris and abiola irele
  11. popular things you hate

    Even Wu tangs latest album is corny.
  12. popular things you hate

    And I've hung. African drummed and played capieira with afro centrics and Yoruba devotees and gangsters from DC. And they agree
  13. popular things you hate

    Sorry I think most currents of the culture are in regression... Ignorant... And destructive. And I'm speaking with the voice of the future. A future that may or may not take place. If I'm wrong I don't care to research it any further. I will be too busy reading Biko. Hubert Harrison. The myth of the negro past and black Metropolis. You like. Lil Wayne apart from thinking that Nola boys ways of expressing themselves is Rich and interesting (in which case I prefer juvenile).. fine. U like trap music and Mumble rap fine. But like Chuck d said in 1999: they flunked. Spike Lee's new show looks good though. You know? She's gotta have it
  14. popular things you hate

    Black popular culture and it's constant trickledowns and self references. As a fan of old-school hip hop and newer folk who were good like aceyalone and freestyle fellowship... Mos def bdp and public enemy. Bcc Wu Tang hieroglyphics and brand Nubian and de la soul. And as a fan of Racine and classic konpa. Socalypso and African hazz. As a fan of the Harlem Renaissance African and Caribbean lit be etc amiri baraka Earl Lovelace and wole soyinka chimamanda ngozie adichie syl Cheney cooker and amos tutuola. As a devoted disciple of the black Atlantic world... I would say that black popular culture is in a sorry state .. the black race is capable of so much greater. Up ye mighty race!!
  15. Where do I fit in?

    Can I take classes in anthropology. Literature. Religion or folklore after graduating. Will gradschools look at that favorably? I screwed up big time but really want to be a man of African and Caribbean letters. Folklore and religious anthropology in Haiti Trinidad or yorubaland. Etc. It's pretty good stuff to study. The literature especially including the Harlem Renaissance is very underated and the quality is very high. Would doing dis to refine writing capacity help and be of merit?