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About chalkdust

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  1. chalkdust

    Regrets and "if only's"

    People aren't that different. What do the grad schools want to hear?
  2. chalkdust

    Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

    I had a dream that I had to kill the desire to sleep with women in their twenties. Which would be good since my twin flame girl is 35 and likes me a whole lot. We met up at an African dance festival, sat with each other and listened to bootsie collins. I got an awesome Cameroon dashiki and this Nigerian fellow is making yoruba dress for my mom dad and me. I send him lots of money and old cell phones and we are setting up some sort of marriage agreement so when he moves to the states I can send this girl with him by marrying her. She is cool too but I believe in monogamy and multiple soul mates at the same time. To vent I will say that the less popular works of Aristotle are dry yet stimulating. Initially this forum received me but in the last two years I have transgressed popular opinion. To that I say I am not fully American and must have some austrian formulations that are best kept secret. My professors want me to live to my highest potential. So I will. I just wish I had realized how cool and capable I was at reading say John k Thornton or David graebber when a bit younger. Or for that matter Sylvia wynter, Antoinette burton, Stuart hall and Paul gilroy. I am at peace increasing stability lessening my complaints and worrying less. Still. I have been in and out of undergrad for the last 16 years. I no longer feel like a disgrace or that I am not man enough for port au prince. I'm still have jacmel! But i wont ever be a local in a foreign country or anthropologist with like three decades of experience. Also don't get along for the last decade with most miami Haitians or ft Lauderdale Haitians and I hate their rap music. Little haiti might be cool if I get accepted into a vodun community. But that dampened my spirits slightly. There are other Haitians who do like me. For someone who "likes Haitian stuff" not making any Haitian friends was the pitts. But as ptahotep said... never go after the women. That was my mistake. Same mistake I made in African drum class, an ifa community and a capoeira ensemble. Sheesh. Actually the world is on fya. Earth a run red as Richie spice sang. So I am a little afraid of the caribbean. And have been for quite some time.
  3. chalkdust

    Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

    I grew up with black folks. Read voraciously. I read Tolkien Kipling Crichton girsham jack London Verne James Baldwin hg wells and Hemingway all by the fourth grade. Just for some name dropping. I read malcolm x autobio in the 3rd grade. None of this was for school. Then I became obsessed with rap music and video games. I was obsessed with black people ever since the 2nd grade. Guess I was a wannabe black. But in my early college days I was pretty blown away by all my black friends. Most of them went to hbcu. Yea I should have gone to Morehouse or howard. I got into both those schools Instead I took black studies and post colonial lit classes. I did well. Then I developed schizophrenia I saw the projects for a little while. I can talk to anyone from any social class because of this. Worked many menial jobs Now it is the fact that it is 16 years later. I'm back in school for anthropology. I own 1000 books. Africentricity galore. Everything Carl Jung and Schiller goethe... Paul bishop. Karl kerenyi. Henry corbin. Lacan. Freud. Schelling Marx and Nietzsche. Just about all the classic and obscure yet regarded African and Caribbean writers. Tons of Egyptian Hindu and yoruba occult books. People think it's ecclectic. I just think I'm right. I have lots of the traditionalist metaphysical stuff. Afro Brazilian sorcery. Djinn magic. Books on the black origins and moorish empires. But I havnt made love in 11 years. Other than that things are good. I'm 34. Life is ok.
  4. chalkdust

    Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

    I have many things troubling me. I am 34 and not in grad school. I havnt been with a woman in 11 years because somewhere along the way I got heavily into Nietzsche and Paul bishop and jung and Goethe Schiller Marx marie louise von franz fritjoff schuon, herder, mircia eliade and schelling. I remembered that I am an austrian citizen. Its easy to forget you are an austrian citizen especially when you are keenly fascinated by ifa obeah vodun and palo mayombe. I was african drumming and dancing. I was afro cuban drumming a bit. I know the most about ifa which is why i can say that i love ifa. Unsure if i will ever speak yoruba or travel in nigeria or live in nigeria. Sort of want to but i suck at life. My professors and i alone have researched who is who. So for the summer i am reading stuart hall, paul gilroy, andrew apter, richard price, toyin falola, maurice bishop, maulana karenga, eric wolf, sidney hook, Todd Ramon ochoa, Jacob olupona, sylvia wynter, sidney mintz, and other academic books on black Atlantic sorcery, possession, earth mother cult in trinidad, palo, obeah. Also have lots of books on European ideas. Egyptian religion. Gnosticism Sufism and Hindu studies. Want to be a Caribbean folklorist. And learn from vodun people in haiti and obeah or ifa people in Trinidad Huge African and Caribbean literature buff. Crap gpa. My mantra is just do it and see where it leads. Looking for an outside perspective. Reading paul bishop right now. I'm a confused critter lol.
  5. chalkdust

    Just a heads up

    So ... The link. Jung`s Red Book For Our Time: Searching for Soul under Postmodern Conditions https://www.amazon.com/dp/1630514772/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_4RySAb9TG2YD9
  6. chalkdust

    First-generation student (or not)?

    I'm first generation Austrian on my dad's side. I think second gen Scandinavian and Czech on mother's side. I feel really darn disconnected so I read lots of European stuff. I'm always humming classical music to myself. Dad worked at cern. Now is chair of physics dept. I'm the disgrace of a son. 34. No job. No love life for ten years. Schizophrenic. Failing out of anthropology grad school. Good at reading African and Caribbean poems aloud. I live on disability. No car. Gourmet cook. Can't speak German. Sincerely interested in Haitian creole and Yoruba. But how? Academia to my fat gluttinous passion filled body seems like the only way.
  7. chalkdust

    Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

    I'm not sure if it was wise not to attend this prestigeous hbcu when I was 18 ... That would have been weird. Just don't want to be a vagabond. Don't feel like I deserve a career in afro Caribbean religious studies. Feels strange and interesting too.
  8. chalkdust

    Love, Academia and Success

    I guess you haven't heard the story of the day the moon fooled the sun. What I can't play the congas now? But u can do karate or learn sinalese dialects.
  9. chalkdust

    Let’s talk books

    Check out I am a Japanese writer. And how to make love to a negro without getting tired. Haitian author... Pretty funny. Might cheer you up!
  10. chalkdust

    anybody do a green smoothie diet?

    Beets banana peanut butter honey. Throw in some papaya. Papaya goes great with sugar and heavy cream and ice. It's like a papaya milkshake. Same goes for soursop. Add some blueberries with sugar soursop and cream and ice I think a green everyone here would like is moringa. It's good for you Yes to hemp and chia My secret for you all is organ meats. Beef pork or chicken. Tripe. Liver. Kidneys. Sweetbread. Gizzards. This will give you power. Look up Chinese Mexican or republic of georgia recipes. Nigeria and Senegal also have cool tripe recipes. I also recommend suya chicken livers. A west African treat for beef or chicken livers. Think beef coated with ginger and ground up fried peanut butter. You can basically buy suya powder. It isn't wet it is dry. Some s a salt and pepper. Then grill or broil.
  11. chalkdust

    Just a heads up

    Look up this essay collection volume one (there will be two more volumes) Jung the red book for our time The bibliographies in these essays are great. Gerald Massey. Godfrey Higgins. Sloterdjik. Henri Corbin etc. GMs mead. Wish there were more aspiring jungians here. Honestly though this is great reading. Will post link when I get to a laptop Looks like princton bollingen is gearing up to release a multi volume set of the eth lectures too
  12. chalkdust

    Let’s talk books

    If anyone can break down the novels of Wilson Harris that would be awesome. I can recommend segu by maryse conde. Half of a yellow sun by chimamanda ngozie adichie. My life in the bush of ghosts and the palm wine drinkard by Amos tutuola. A brief history of seven killings by Marlon James. Everything by Yvonne Vera. Both of wole soyinka collected plays. In the flicker of an eyelid by Jacques Stephan alexis. Dangerous love by ben okri. A brighter sun and I hear thunder and turn tiger by Sam selvon. Black Midas by Jan Carew and the scorpions claw and loneliness of angels by myriam chancy This summer I want to tackle soul mountain, the tales of genji and the sea of fertility quartet
  13. chalkdust

    Grad school and mental illness--how do you cope?

    I am diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and it is no fun at all but it is very how to say enlightening. Find what resources are available to you especially in the college itself.
  14. When my symptoms are bad... I hallucinate in class get psychotically depressed paranoid can't focus unable to learn. I must have about 6 or 7 incomplete that I didn't finish this turned into F and about six or seven withdrawals too. But I'm not screwed yet. I have alliances with about five or six male professors and one female all in African and Caribbean studies. I am obsessed with African and Caribbean studies particularly West Africa and the Atlantic world. The trick is to show that you are serious about learning. Relationships are important. If you reach out to people as I have you will find that they want to support you professors want you to become a student learner and eventually a teacher or competent worker. The trick is the fall in love with your life and be passionate about what you do you have to be on fire only those that are burning on fire will make it serious.
  15. chalkdust

    Help me compile a reading list to combat the waiting game . . .

    Sorry... Typing from cell. Carl Jung the red book and the new essay compilation... The red book for our times. Also with psychology and religion and psychological types make sure it is the thick collected works version

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