I’m at a loss for what to do

[phyanth]

So, one of my letter writers has been great about turning in his letters up until now. I literally have one school left, and they reached out to me personally by email to ask that I get my letters turned in ASAP so they can review my application. Technically the due date is Jan 25th, but since the dept asked me personally, I emailed my letter writers. This writer is the only one left, and he hasn’t responded to any of my emails or text messages about the letter, only texts not about the letter for this specific school.

What do I do?? I would be extremely upset if I didn’t get in because he doesn’t turn the letter in. Should I call?? It’s been almost a week since the department emailed. 

[Eigen]

You've done what you can. 

It's kinda annoying of the department to shift things like that, and I'm sure your letter writer is doing what they can. 

Honestly, you seem to be expecting a lot of your writer and don't seem very forgiving of asking him to suddenly shift his schedule around to accommodate this. 

[phyanth]

19 minutes ago, Eigen said:

You've done what you can. 

It's kinda annoying of the department to shift things like that, and I'm sure your letter writer is doing what they can. 

Honestly, you seem to be expecting a lot of your writer and don't seem very forgiving of asking him to suddenly shift his schedule around to accommodate this. 

Except he’s not in academia.and he literally wrote one general letter that was mass emailed to each school, so I don’t think it’s a big deal. 

[Eigen]

If that's the case, I can't see his recommendation being particularly important to your application. 

And despite your rationalization, I feel like my point still stands- you seem to feel entitled to this rather than appreciative of him trying to reschedule his time. Email or text another gentle reminder, and hope it works. 

[phyanth]

 

18 minutes ago, Eigen said:

If that's the case, I can't see his recommendation being particularly important to your application. 

And despite your rationalization, I feel like my point still stands- you seem to feel entitled to this rather than appreciative of him trying to reschedule his time. Email or text another gentle reminder, and hope it works. 

All of the letters are important because they are required for admission. Regardless of quality, it still needs to be there.

I really don’t appreciate your comment about me seeming entitled. I have asked nicely, and checked in. The fact is, I wouldn’t care if he responded with, “hey, I’m really busy and this will take a while”. It is that he’s responded to other things, but specifically not my inquiry to the status of the letter. That’s not entitlement, that’s concern. 

 

[Eigen]

What I was referring to as entitlement was you saying you would be extremely upset if you didn't get in because of this, with the implication that you would blame your letter writer. 

You originally gave them a deadline of the 25th, and now seem to be upset that they haven't gotten it in over 2 weeks before that. 

I also think it's uncharitable to then make light of the task saying that "it shouldn't be a big deal for them to do and they're not in academia anyway" with the implication that you don't feel like you're asking them to do something that you appreciate and that it's only OK for them to be busy if they're in academia. 

As to not responding, are you sure they got your request? Did you phrase it nicely when you asked them to move up the time table? Have you tried calling them?

I understand the worry and frustration, I'm just pointing out that the ire should be with the school for suddenly pushing up the deadline and not with your recommender for not having been able to drop everything to meet that. 

[rising_star]

Honestly, I'd be irked if someone was pestering about something like this. Why? Because you changed the deadline for me (even if it wasn't you, the applicant's fault), then expected me to rearrange my workload/priorities/plans in order to meet your changed circumstances. And especially for a LOR since those frequently arrive after the deadline anyway. 

[phyanth]

Bleergh. After sleeping on it, I’ve done all I can and don’t want to push it, so I guess I’ll wait until closer to the deadline. I’m not mad at anyone, I’m freaking out.

I would like to think that I’m not pestering, I literally just let them know what was going on and asked them if they were able to turn in the letter early. I also said I understand if you’re busy. Two of my writers turned them in that day, and the other never responded, so I’m just waiting on this one writer. I don’t see anything wrong with asking and reasonably expecting some sort of response within a week, considering I talk with this letter writer frequently.

Either way, I’m just going to wait and see.

[TakeruK]

1 hour ago, phyanth said:

I would like to think that I’m not pestering, I literally just let them know what was going on and asked them if they were able to turn in the letter early. I also said I understand if you’re busy. Two of my writers turned them in that day, and the other never responded, so I’m just waiting on this one writer. I don’t see anything wrong with asking and reasonably expecting some sort of response within a week, considering I talk with this letter writer frequently.

Either way, I’m just going to wait and see.

I don't think you are pestering yet. Unless I misunderstood, you just sent one single email so far to ask this last letter writer to submit it earlier now due to the school changing deadline. I would say that if you push it further at this time, then you would be pestering.

There is nothing wrong with asking the letter writer to submit it earlier because your school asked you to submit ASAP. I think it's also reasonable to expect a timely response to your email (but I would say a reasonable timeframe is more like within 2 weeks). But what others and I think is unreasonable is that you seem to be unhappy or annoyed at your letter writer for not changing everything to meet the school's unreasonable deadline change. As others said, your ire and annoyance should be on the school, not the letter writer. You shouldn't expect your letter writer to submit anything before the 25th. If they do, then it's a huge favour they have done for you, not something you are entitled to.

[E-P]

Do you know anyone else who knows your letter writer?  Perhaps there's something going on (death in the family, etc.) that is preventing him from writing it?