Argumentative Essay Example

[MlhP4a]

Hello people!

This is my first try of writing an argumentative essay and I kept it so short.
Any comment would be appreciated since your help would help me to organize my future study plans for awa.
 

Argument:

People who use the artificial sweetener aspartame are better off consuming sugar, since aspartame can actually contribute to weight gain rather than weight loss. For example, high levels of aspartame have been shown to trigger a craving for food by depleting the brain of a chemical that registers satiety, or the sense of being full. Furthermore, studies suggest that sugars, if consumed after at least 45 minutes of continuous exercise, actually enhance the body’s ability to burn fat. Consequently, those who drink aspartame-sweetened juices after exercise will also lose this calorie-burning benefit. Thus it appears that people consuming aspartame rather than sugar are unlikely to achieve their dietary goals.

My Essay:

The author suggests that consuming aspartame can prevent people from reaching their dietary goals based on several reasons. However, this argument is not convincing as it uses some manipulative and weak assumptions while making the aspartame inferior to sugar.

Firstly, author propounds that using aspartame will remove the feeling of satiation in people so that people will consume more food. However, this statement lacks detailed gross regarding how aspartame stops brain to sense satiation and author ignores the fact that people can resist their biological impulses and they may behave not in a way that their chemicals want them to behave.

Secondly, She argues that sugar increases the ability of burning fat after at least 45  minutes of exercise while neglecting people who never exercise or those exercise less than 45  minutes. Therefore, by not taking effects of sugar into the consideration on these people, the author just gives a partial information that is in line with her idea.

To sum up, These main problems make this argument flawed and not convincing. Thus, the author should give more detailed biological explanation about the effect of aspartame on brain chemicals and should take representative sample of people into the consideration while giving examples about how sugar affect satiation of people.

[OnaJournie]

Hello! I'd say you have come up with one rather strong rebuttal and one rather weak one to the arguments put forth by the author. 

But I'm replying to you mainly to say that this section on the GRE is rather complex and requires practice, and we're all grad/ Ph.D students like you! What do we know? ? It's more like a critical thinking exercise than a writing one, and I feel you'd be better off asking a professor for feedback. And read writing tips from good guides like Barron's or Princeton. Oh and the official GRE guide too. Topics for these essays are posted on the official GRE website anyway, so be sure to look that up. 

Hope I helped! Good luck