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POI silence after declining + reimbursement issue


brainlass

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Around two weeks ago, I went for my final interview/campus visit. It was an unusual case because the department did not offer any official interview or recruitment days for prospective students, so my POI arranged a short visit just for me. After the interview trip, I sent her a thank you email as usual, but never heard back. Several days later, after thinking everything through and meeting with my current mentor, I made my decision to accept my offer elsewhere. I sent her another email saying that I was declining, and I really tried to emphasize how grateful I was for her efforts in arranging the visit, and how wonderful I think she is as a person/researcher, because I do genuinely think she's awesome. There were other factors about the school/program that kept it from being my top choice. I had really hoped to end things on a positive note and maintain a good relationship with her, as she knows my current PI well, and I expect I'll continue to see her at conferences in the future.

With every other offer that I declined, the POIs responded promptly with very gracious and understanding replies. However, this POI from the last interview never replied (to either the initial thank you email or the decline email). It's now been a week and a half. She had always been very prompt and responsive before, which makes me worry that this is an intentional choice to not respond. I'm anxious that despite my best efforts not to, I may have burnt a bridge here. So, I am seeking your thoughts on two questions:

1. Is it common or uncommon for a POI to ignore an email about your decision?

2. To complicate matters, she had previously said that she could reimburse me for travel expenses, but did not offer instructions on how to do that. Now, given the circumstances, it feels super awkward to inquire about reimbursement. Should I just suck it up and accept the cost? (It's $200, which would not matter terribly in the grand scheme of things.)

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15 hours ago, slaugh said:

just wondering, how did she react?

She responded positively (wishing me the best and expressing that she hopes to see me at conferences) and provided information about the reimbursement, too! I'm very relieved that this loose end was resolved well. 

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