Acceptance Depression?

[Jae B.]

What if the program is not right for me after all? Will I be able to get a job afterwards? What if I dislike the city I'm moving to? What if my advisor hates me? What if I really am an Impostor and flunk out??? I feel terrible, even though I know this is a good opportunity and there are others who would kill be in my position...

As I've heard before, they wouldn't have picked you for the program if it weren't right for you, if they weren't going to like you, and if you're not ready for the level of work. Feel confident about that. Silence the voices of doubt and try to look forward to this!

I try to picture myself graduating and how it will feel. My mantra is pretty much, "I can do this work, and soon enough it will be successfully done." A finish-line perspective.

Try to connect with people you know will help you now, so you can feel you have support.

I'm a little nervous because most people accepted to the schools I'm deciding between have way more experience in the field than I do. But I'm looking at this as a great way for me to gain the experience I lack, and to learn from my more-advanced peers.

I'm not sure I'll be able to get a decent job in my field immediately after graduation. But if I can't find one after grad school, I doubt I could find one now!

I'm most worried about built-up stress. I'm graduating from undergrad this semester, and I guess it's selfish but I would love some downtime this summer -- to relax, chill, de-stress, recuperate -- before heading into grad school. But I definitely need to work.

This makes two years of go-go-go that's about to become three or four. Might not be a lot for some people, but I feel like it's a lot for me.

[ilikemoney]

I'm with you. I was admitted at my top choice, indeed my dream choice. They have been terrific and I have accepted their offer. But I do feel a sense of deflation. I have three more hard months of work at my job, then a month or so off while I prepare for the hard work to come.

I think this is what Heidegger was talking about with all his blah-blah about 'existential guilt' -- it's feeling bad about missed possibilities and destroying all those selves which could be

you. So you are always guilty.

[Rachel C]

I feel a bit like that awful Cathy comic character right now! I've gotten into 4 schools, waitlisted at 1, and rejected at 1.....but I have yet to receive any substantial financial assistance. I have NO idea where to go until I get those financial offers.

To add to my guilt, I keep getting personal calls from programs! Both FELS and Penn and USC Annenberg (public diplomacy MA) have called to personally congratulate me and one of my letters was personlized with why they chose me plus a handwritten note at the bottom....I feel terrible.

I think I'll have a hernia come May, when I get into EUROPEAN schools and need to decide if they trump my US choice....

[Jae B.]

I feel a bit like that awful Cathy comic character right now! I've gotten into 4 schools, waitlisted at 1, and rejected at 1.....but I have yet to receive any substantial financial assistance. I have NO idea where to go until I get those financial offers.

To add to my guilt, I keep getting personal calls from programs! Both FELS and Penn and USC Annenberg (public diplomacy MA) have called to personally congratulate me and one of my letters was personlized with why they chose me plus a handwritten note at the bottom....I feel terrible.

I think I'll have a hernia come May, when I get into EUROPEAN schools and need to decide if they trump my US choice....

I know how that feels! One of the schools I was accepted to has been very personal and welcoming. I'll feel crummy if I choose the other.

[Medievalmaniac]

My acceptance depression stems from the fact that I got into one of my top choices, a school I would LOVE to attend for my PhD...but no funding, and there's no way I can swing it without the funding -we have two small children, and a mortgage. So, I have to defer, hope they give me funding in the next go around, and do something to improve my stats so I can also apply to a few other programs close to us location-wise, hoping against hope for funding somewhere so I can make this dream come true.

I desperately want to go, got in, and can't go - at least not this year, and maybe not at all. THAT is acceptance depression.

[coffeecoffeebuzzbuzz]

I thought I would resurrect this thread...

Yesterday I mailed off my acceptance letter...scary moment but I did it and I couldn't change things ones I dropped the envelope in the mail. Today I have been utterly fatigued, blah, and rather indifferent. I ended up cleaning my house thoroughly as a distraction. It is sort of like being so overwhelmed with emotion that I am "done" with the decision process that I now feel numb from over saturation. Part of me feels like I should go out and dance, celebrate, etc... but I am more inclined to hide in my fuzzy frumpy comfy clothing and listen to old school dramatic goth music.

To add to the "my ass is whooped" feeling this has been one hell of week for me with abnormal intensity of everything (just one week!). This week I was sick (flu or cold); had to work non-stop to get my manuscript submitted by the final proof deadline (FIVE YEARS OF WORK FINISHED!!!!); gave my first oral presentation at an international conference; had to deal with potential freeze in my job (gov shutdown narrowly prevented); had to interact with all of my old co-workers from the job where I was previously laid off from; found out my partner of 11 years won't be joining me when I move to grad school (but might move out a season or two later...); had to make up a weeks worth of missed classes and homework (including teaching myself everything I missed in calc) because I was too sick to go to school; had to balance out everything on my to-do list with surprise visits from folks visit from out of town; and somewhere in between everything I made the choice of where I am going to spend the next five years of my life...

so ya... I am feeling a little burned out right now. It gets better right?

[sarmstrong]

It's the middle of the night right now, where I live and I'm so glad this post was resurrected because it really describes how I'm feeling. I didn't think I'd get accepted anywhere, but I got accepted to 3 of my top top top choices. I didn't have a #1 when I was waiting to hear and have flip flopped a lot since then. They are all extremely different, and as I'm living overseas I don't have the option of visiting to get a feel for them in person. I've gone through stages where all three have seemed like #1. I finally chose one much more solidly, only to find out that through a technicality I've only been "recommended" for admission and still have to be approved by the grad division. Time is getting short and it's really starting to wreak havoc on my sanity. This is all made much more difficult, as I'm married and my husband is going through the same thing with the decision, except that we're usually leaning toward different schools. As soon as I like School A, he likes School B. Then When I like School B, he likes School C, etc. I FULLY wish I'd been accepted to only one school & am so worried about regret after making the decision. I'm not worried about choosing a bad program because they're all dreamlike choices, but I know I'm going to have a hard time shaking the lingering questions about how things may have been different if we'd gone somewhere else. This is especially true with the school that only provisionally accepted me, which almost breaks my heart. But even the school that has been 3rd choice for the past week or two recently pricked my fancy again today. It's a super small, super prestigious program that I've heard fabulous things about. They've been extremely helpful and the campus is gorgeous. I really feel like I'll be missing out if I don't go there and that's not even as bad as I'd feel about rejected either of the other two offers!

Whew. I'm glad I got that out there. It felt good to vent it.

[michpc]

It's the middle of the night right now, where I live and I'm so glad this post was resurrected because it really describes how I'm feeling. I didn't think I'd get accepted anywhere, but I got accepted to 3 of my top top top choices. I didn't have a #1 when I was waiting to hear and have flip flopped a lot since then. They are all extremely different, and as I'm living overseas I don't have the option of visiting to get a feel for them in person. I've gone through stages where all three have seemed like #1. I finally chose one much more solidly, only to find out that through a technicality I've only been "recommended" for admission and still have to be approved by the grad division. Time is getting short and it's really starting to wreak havoc on my sanity. This is all made much more difficult, as I'm married and my husband is going through the same thing with the decision, except that we're usually leaning toward different schools. As soon as I like School A, he likes School B. Then When I like School B, he likes School C, etc. I FULLY wish I'd been accepted to only one school & am so worried about regret after making the decision. I'm not worried about choosing a bad program because they're all dreamlike choices, but I know I'm going to have a hard time shaking the lingering questions about how things may have been different if we'd gone somewhere else. This is especially true with the school that only provisionally accepted me, which almost breaks my heart. But even the school that has been 3rd choice for the past week or two recently pricked my fancy again today. It's a super small, super prestigious program that I've heard fabulous things about. They've been extremely helpful and the campus is gorgeous. I really feel like I'll be missing out if I don't go there and that's not even as bad as I'd feel about rejected either of the other two offers!

Whew. I'm glad I got that out there. It felt good to vent it.

oh my gosh, right there with you too! I've spent the past week+ after visits feeling completely overwhelmed and conflicted. I was in the same boat as you...didn't think I'd get accepted anywhere, so I didn't let myself have a top choice, and then they came rolling in and so did the panic! I think after lots of hemming and hawing, pulling at my hair, hours in front of my laptop screen trying to find every minute detail that might help me choose, I've made a decision. Haven't sent my deposit or other rejection letters yet, but I think I'm done. and yeah, it still feels weird.