Randomness Or Vent?

[EKPhrase]

OK, there are some random things on my mind and since I like you a lot, I thought a little place for randomness might be appreciated? But then again, this is only because you are avoiding homework you know you should be doing, or you need to wait five more minutes before you can re-check the online status of a given application. Feel free to share, care, or not.

Things I can't help but think about:

1. It's been a bummer to be waitlisted to the best schools. I would like to think this will change, but I got a feelin' that it may be April before those waitlists lift. Or go away. Either way - they are a bit of a progress impedor. (I don't think that's a word.)

2. It's a little frustrating to wait so long for some of my rejections? Note my WTF section on signature. It is now down to Columbia and Denver University.

3. I hate hate hate hate to say this (ya'll) but Colorado leaves a lot to be desired. In many ways. For one, I am waitlisted at CU Boulder. I sent an email to the advisor thanking her for my consideration and indicating a continued interest. For my other waitlists, I have recieved phone calls and numerous emails. And invitations to clarify questions. From Boulder, I guess they just got more important things on their minds (note also our rants on the rude admin at CU Boulder. I live here. The funding sucks buttttttttttt. But I own a house here (which I can't sell because the economy sucks butttttt and CU has some prestige... hmmmm.)

4. Funniest post. Someone got accepted to a divinity program at Harvard or some other ivy. His or her past was "OMFG I can't believe it!" I just find that funny. Theologists, I think, get to use OMFG with immunity? hehe

5. I though the McDonalds/Burger King post was funny, but there are like 8 of them. That's a little weird. Can you imagine that person? Sitting in a dorm room perhaps, or maybe the World of Warcraft server is down??

6. May. Does May exist? Cause I am about to crack from school.

7. Last, I noted posts from a few years ago about applying to many schools. As we all know, English is brutal. I did 15 or so apps. When I add up the costs, I realize I was lucky to be able to afford it. Thankfully the sites took a credit card and I was able to pay them off over the course of a couple of months.

My list. Yours?

[Swagato]

Good form.

1. How much lurking on GradCafe helped me. I discovered the place and actively browsed it pretty late. Nevertheless, reading the exchange of ideas certainly changed many of my views.

2. I was prepared for a round rejection. With my stats...my GPA is below 2.5...it was a holy shock to find myself waitlisted at my top choice and accepted to UChicago's MAPH. Whether I eventually can afford UChicago or get off the waitlist/not, my greatest fear -- that I would never even be looked at for graduate admissions -- is now gone. I honestly cannot express how much that means to me.

3. The striking difference between professors and responses. Despite being rejected, I am nothing but impressed with the promptness and consideration displayed by Dudley Andrew of Yale. Oddly enough, faculty at other, somewhat less glamorous places were far more tardy. It seemed weird to me.

4. Waitlists suck. Unranked waitlists suck even more.

5. How in hell did I avoid a round rejection in a year like this?

C'est la vie.

[PaperChaser]

Ditto prior posters...

My list:

1. Thank God I actually sucked it up and applied, despite having shit for grades/non-prestigious degrees/weird interests. At least now I KNOW I have options, and maybe I'll be a smidge less bitter, whatever I choose to do.

2. However, in the meantime, the whole choosing thing sucks. I've been on the other side (no acceptances, no backup plan), and I won't lie and say that doesn't suck worse, but perpetual "did I make the right decision" plague is frustrating too.

3. For the later acceptances, April 15th doesn't give one much time to visit campuses and do other things necessary to making an informed choice.

4. I agree that how the faculty treats the admits (and rejects, and waitlists) is VERY indicative of how future students will be treated. I'm not spending 4-5 years of my life somewhere the faculty/staff "can't be bothered" to respond to emails.

5. There are a heck of a lot of people FAR smarter than I am who got in nowhere. I'm going to make the tacit suggestion that a "fallback school" should probably be out of the top 50ish...but that's just me. The best schools can only take a few of their hundreds of apps...the "middle of the road" schools CAN still offer a good education and opportunities. Sometimes it's not so bad to be a bigger fish in a smaller pond?

6. I got into more programs than my Ivy Leaguer/favorite child/5'9 115 lb "perfect" sister. That alone is evidence of some sort of universal justice. (Sorry, I can't admit that anywhere but here...)

C'est la indeed.

[EKPhrase]

You guys are great. I can feel the relief in every word you write - Swagato - Yes, sometimes TALENT COUNTS TOO. Remember when you celebrate - don't act surprised, just nod your head and say, "Skillz." PaperChaser, on the sister thing now how about some place like this to share We are your Post Secrets of Literature Gradaute Applications!!! Def. hearing your lists. The waitlist stuff, the faculty investment in the student... Hmmm...

Happy Tuesday all, another day in the waiting! Nice to hear your thoughts!

[fromeurope]

1. Anyone else feel humbled by this whole process? I applied to five (5!) schools, and all of them top 20! So arrogant .. and I feel this even though I was admitted into 1(.5) program(s)! It could so easily have been 0 that it's not even funny.

2. I found it an interesting experience that it was only when I spoke to the DGS of my solid admit that I realized how great a fit that program actually was. Sometimes you get a bit lucky, I guess. I wasn't totally clueless, but it was enlightening to see how aspects of my application package all came together without me really pointing them out or being fully aware. They know, even if we don't.

3. I found thegradcafe when I researched the GRE in Lit test, but soon stopped visiting in order to preserve my ignorance. Ignorance is bliss? In my case -- yes, seeing how my admit came totally out of the blue for me, and thankfully before my (admittedly short) string of rejections (and the one highly equivocal 0.5 which I'm pretty sure won't pan out anyway... not that it matters).

4. Due to a formatting misunderstanding (line-spacing), my writing sample was in some cases 2-3x longer than the various instructions specified. Ops! I wonder if that fact alone landed me in reject piles.

5. The GRE sucks. The GRE in Literature sucks even more. I'm a big fan of the person who filled in nice patterns on the quant answer sheet instead of, well, you know, trying.

6. On the subject of the GRE, according to the ETS it is apparently the case that I'm a lousy (3.5) writer. Just goes to show.

7. How incredibly fortunate I am to have a offer that I feel good about!

8. Bryan Ferry's version of "It's My Party" is so kitschy. Glam out -- Glitz in! Narrative gender preserved! I just discovered this gem the other day. The reason? Another cover: bit.ly/1rUHI8 -- how fantastic isn't that?

9. I quite like this random thingamobob. After a hesitant start, I'm getting into it now!

10. Surely, there should be a reward for everyone who goes through the grad school application process, takes the GREs, and all that? I'm thinking... admittance! Or, at least a coupon or something. It could come with your letter of rejection. "We're sorry that we could not offer you admission: here, take this coupon, and rest assured that it is a courtesy that is only extended to our rejects."

11. Considering 10, it's a wonder that we voluntarily choose to go through this process.

12. I so much admire the perseverence and spirit of some (well, considering 10 and 11 -- all!) persons here.

13. This list now has 13 entries.

[fromeurope]

14. How annoying it is to click reply instead of edit, and believing yourself to be editing your first post, you end up double-posting...

Edited March 16, 2010 by p7389

[PaperChaser]

You guys are great. I can feel the relief in every word you write - Swagato - Yes, sometimes TALENT COUNTS TOO. Remember when you celebrate - don't act surprised, just nod your head and say, "Skillz." PaperChaser, on the sister thing now how about some place like this to share We are your Post Secrets of Literature Gradaute Applications!!! Def. hearing your lists. The waitlist stuff, the faculty investment in the student... Hmmm...

Happy Tuesday all, another day in the waiting! Nice to hear your thoughts!

Post Secrets are preferable to Texts From Last Night, I guess But I kinda miss those days!

[PaperChaser]

1. Anyone else feel humbled by this whole process? I applied to five (5!) schools, and all of them top 20! So arrogant .. and I feel this even though I was admitted into 1(.5) program(s)! It could so easily have been 0 that it's not even funny.

2. I found it an interesting experience that it was only when I spoke to the DGS of my solid admit that I realized how great a fit that program actually was. Sometimes you get a bit lucky, I guess. I wasn't totally clueless, but it was enlightening to see how aspects of my application package all came together without me really pointing them out or being fully aware. They know, even if we don't.

3. I found thegradcafe when I researched the GRE in Lit test, but soon stopped visiting in order to preserve my ignorance. Ignorance is bliss? In my case -- yes, seeing how my admit came totally out of the blue for me, and thankfully before my (admittedly short) string of rejections (and the one highly equivocal 0.5 which I'm pretty sure won't pan out anyway... not that it matters).

4. Due to a formatting misunderstanding (line-spacing), my writing sample was in some cases 2-3x longer than the various instructions specified. Ops! I wonder if that fact alone landed me in reject piles.

5. The GRE sucks. The GRE in Literature sucks even more. I'm a big fan of the person who filled in nice patterns on the quant answer sheet instead of, well, you know, trying.

6. On the subject of the GRE, according to the ETS it is apparently the case that I'm a lousy (3.5) writer. Just goes to show.

7. How incredibly fortunate I am to have a offer that I feel good about!

8. Bryan Ferry's version of "It's My Party" is so kitschy. Glam out -- Glitz in! Narrative gender preserved! I just discovered this gem the other day. The reason? Another cover: bit.ly/1rUHI8 -- how fantastic isn't that?

9. I quite like this random thingamobob. After a hesitant start, I'm getting into it now!

10. Surely, there should be a reward for everyone who goes through the grad school application process, takes the GREs, and all that? I'm thinking... admittance! Or, at least a coupon or something. It could come with your letter of rejection. "We're sorry that we could not offer you admission: here, take this coupon, and rest assured that it is a courtesy that is only extended to our rejects."

11. Considering 10, it's a wonder that we voluntarily choose to go through this process.

12. I so much admire the perseverence and spirit of some (well, considering 10 and 11 -- all!) persons here.

13. This list now has 13 entries.

I like your coupon idea. I think, at a minimum, schools should refund part (or all) of the app fee if they reject you without actually reading your entire application. By my calculations, I would be some $1300 richer (PhD round 1, nursing school, law school, PhD round 2...)! Or a complimentary fifth of Jack Daniels so we'd at least forget how crappy it feels.

I highly doubt you're a lousy writer, but if it makes you feel better, I scored in the 300s (yes, less than chance) on the GRE quant section and my subject test is almost as embarrassing. I only found out Australia was a CONTINENT a few weeks ago. You're smart. You got in. You're happy with your offer. I shall be happy for you!

[hopefulJ2010]

Post Secrets are preferable to Texts From Last Night, I guess But I kinda miss those days!

this experience has been an out of body one. i have experienced the lowest lows -- DESPAIR at the thought of not getting in or when rejections arrived in my inbox/mailbox. yet you feel the greatest euphoria when you get in... it's like "they like me, they really like me!"

[fromeurope]

I highly doubt you're a lousy writer

In ETS we trust.

[hopefulJ2010]

In ETS we trust.

i got a 4.0 the first time and a 4.5 the second. thanks ETS. haha.

[Sparky]

In ETS we trust.

The first time, I got a 4.0 on the writing. I had a seizure during the first essay and didn't write in English (and wasn't aware enough of what was going on to realize it until it was too late). Even assuming I got a perfect score on the second essay, by ETS's own criteria THAT CANNOT AVERAGE OUT TO FOUR.

Edited March 17, 2010 by Sparky

[EcceQuamBonum]

1. Anyone else feel humbled by this whole process? I applied to five (5!) schools, and all of them top 20! So arrogant .. and I feel this even though I was admitted into 1(.5) program(s)! It could so easily have been 0 that it's not even funny.

2. I found it an interesting experience that it was only when I spoke to the DGS of my solid admit that I realized how great a fit that program actually was. Sometimes you get a bit lucky, I guess. I wasn't totally clueless, but it was enlightening to see how aspects of my application package all came together without me really pointing them out or being fully aware. They know, even if we don't.

Wow, our experiences turned out to be strikingly similar. I, too, was arrogant (foolish?) enough only to apply to five schools: four Ivies and UVA. Ha! My professors also told me I'd have my pick among schools to which I'd applied. I'm not sure either they or I realized how tragically unhip the English department is at my alma mater. The adcoms sure did.

Looking back on the process, I now recognize how utterly fortunate I was to be admitted to the one school I was, and how many equally--if not more--qualified candidates I was up against. The odds were incredible. No one should feel bad for being rejected at a school: you're better off playing slots.

Before the admissions decisions began to roll in, UVA was at the bottom of my list. But once I was accepted and began to look into the school a bit more, I realized there's nowhere else I would rather be. (Indeed, no where else I could be at this point.) There's something fortuitous in that. In hindsight I appreciate how miserable I probably would have been at the other four schools, but, had I been admitted to one of them, I probably would have been lured away from UVA by the siren song of the Ivy name. "There's a divinity that shapes our ends" and all that, you know.

Edited March 17, 2010 by EcceQuamBonum

[Medievalmaniac]

Well, it upsets me to no end that I am a passionate and fully committed, MA holding medievalist with a ton of research and preparation in the past five years under my belt, and I was not accepted or funded, when other "medievalists" who don't even know who folks like Bonnie Wheeler, Shulamith Shahar, Eileen Power, Charles Muscatine, Roger Sherman Loomis, Norris Lacy, Derek Brewer, Maurice Keen, Thomas Hahn, and Glyn Burgess ARE, nonetheless are off for five years of funding at top programs. That actually bothers me a lot...if you're going into the field, you should know the foundational figures and also some of the current important figures in scholarship in that field, and be apprised of what the current critical trends are and the history of scholarship in the field.

I guess what bothers me is that the numbers game apparently means more than actual passion and preparation - it doesn't matter if you ACTUALLY know anything, as long as the paper trail looks good. It's such a false indicator. Seriously. I was talking to a friend of mine who is going for twentieth century American literature the other day. She's fully funded at a top 20 school. SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHO DOM DELILLO AND TOM WOLFE ARE. But, she had a 3.8 UGPA and good GRE scores. Really? I mean, really??? Shouldn't she at least have HEARD of those two, as a twentieth century American lit studies major?

That's my main gripe right now. I wish every school did an interview, even as I know how hopeless that is with so many candidates - but honestly, some top candidates on paper are not well prepared at all in reality.

Which is NOT to take away from anyone who has gotten a great accept and funding - I'm so glad for you all!! Please don't take this as in any way intending to be a slap in your faces. I don't think everyone is unqualified - my gripe is specifically aimed at people who really and truly AREN'T ready, but who on paper look ready. As in the above examples.

[fromeurope]

I don't think everyone is unqualified - my gripe is specifically aimed at people who really and truly AREN'T ready, but who on paper look ready. As in the above examples.

As a Professor told me, what these programs look for and invest in is potential. If the potential is there, the rest will fall in place with time. Perhaps, in the end, this may yield more interesting scholarship than the candidate who enters into grad school more quantitatively "prepared" or "versed." Or not. It's simply impossible to know. My point is that grad school is only the beginning of a journey, and an acceptance there is a vote of confidence more than anything else. Not that I disagree with you about the paper trail... And unfortunately, some people end up in an institutional disadvantage that can be extremely hard to overcome. It's not news that grad admissions are a fickle beast, however, and I sure don't envy the adcoms.

Edited March 17, 2010 by p7389

[fromeurope]

this experience has been an out of body one. i have experienced the lowest lows -- DESPAIR at the thought of not getting in or when rejections arrived in my inbox/mailbox. yet you feel the greatest euphoria when you get in... it's like "they like me, they really like me!"

I remember seeing your posts a couple of weeks ago a couple of rejections in, and I could feel how you were bracing yourself for more of the same. Looking at your profile now, well, it didn't quite turn out that way...

[Branwen daughter of Llyr]

I'm totally humbled. Despite knowing that my apps this year were a long shot (well, being told by my dad that they were a long shot), the rejections still stung. And over the past 3 months, I've learned that I actually know NOTHING compared to most applicants. Not just in my field, but about the whole app process. I only started researching other schools AFTER January, I had no real, solid idea as to my interests, and I kept swinging between Medieval / Early Modern, which of course, reflected on my SOP, as it was all over the place, unfocused, and probably extremely juvenile, despite me being nearly 38.

Despite focusing my research interests, I'm actually terrified of writing the damn thing again. I have NO IDEA how to balance the "bragging" without sounding like a self-involved prat (and what do I brag about, exactly? graduating with honors from a tier-3 state school??). I'm worried that my writing sample won't cut it. I'm worried that after nearly 9 years out of school, with no real work in literature (except extensive personal reading), I'm going to land in my online summer class like a ton of bricks and BOMB. And although I have good stats, so do many of the other applicants. Am I even as brilliant as I think I am in this? How in GOD'S NAME do I stand out from the crowd of incredibly talented scholars sending in apps?

So I know I'm going to do this all over again next year. And I'm hoping that I'm better prepared. But at the moment, I'm second-guessing everything - am I good enough? Do I have what it takes? Or is yet another dream just poised to be crushed?

(I'm blaming stress and lack of sleep for the above post. And a small case of nerves. And a big dose of insecurity. I try to be much more positive usually...)

[fromeurope]

So I know I'm going to do this all over again next year. And I'm hoping that I'm better prepared. But at the moment, I'm second-guessing everything - am I good enough? Do I have what it takes? Or is yet another dream just poised to be crushed?

(...)

It's been such a long time,

I think I should be going,

And time doesn't wait for me,

It keeps on rolling.

There's a long road

I've gotta stay in time with.

I've got to keep on chasing that dream,

Though I may never find it,

I'm always just behind it.

etc.

(...)

[Medievalmaniac]

Branwen - I ask myself the same questions, every single day. Maybe they're absolutely right, and I don't have what it takes, and I'm not that smart, and I'm not worth a PhD.

But, then I remember that my friend got into a top 20 school for 20th c. American lit with full funding and doesn't know who DeLillo and Wolfe are.

And I think of the conversation I had with the giggling BA - wielding, fellowship-winning Johns Hopkins admit who said "Derek who? Oh. (gigglegigglegiggle; shrug) I don't really know anybody in medieval studies. I like the literature, though, and it's easier to get into than modern, so...(shrug, gigglegiggle)" during a medieval studies conference dinner. (Sweetie? Look at the back cover of one in five books on anything medieval you have read or researched in for classes. You know that "D.S. Brewer" guy? Ummmm....yeah. If you ever want to make it to professor, you'd better get to know that company, publishing your medieval title with them is kind of key. Plus - don't you look at the books you read?!)

That's when I realize that I am qualified and I do have what it takes. I just have to be patient and persistent and make sure they see what I bring to the table. So - right there with you in the fear and despair department - but I'm going to do everything I can to make this happen, which means revise, revise, revise my papers and SoP and keep studying that-there Thomas Grey for the subject test. ;)

[diehtc0ke]

But, then I remember that my friend got into a top 20 school for 20th c. American lit with full funding and doesn't know who DeLillo and Wolfe are.

And I of the conversation I had with the giggling BA - wielding, fellowship-winning Johns Hopkins admit who said "Derek who? Oh. (gigglegigglegiggle; shrug) I don't really know anybody in medieval studies. I like the literature, though, and it's easier to get into than modern, so...(shrug, gigglegiggle)" during a medieval studies conference dinner. (Sweetie? Look at the back cover of one in five books on anything medieval you have read or researched in for classes. You know that "D.S. Brewer" guy? Ummmm....yeah. If you ever want to make it to professor, you'd better get to know that company, publishing your medieval title with them is kind of key. Plus - don't you look at the books you read?!)

That's when I realize that I am qualified and I do have what it takes. I just have to be patient and persistent and make sure they see what I bring to the table. So - right there with you in the fear and despair department - but I'm going to do everything I can to make this happen, which means revise, revise, revise my papers and SoP and keep studying that-there Thomas Grey for the subject test. ;)

To be fair to your americanist friend, what is he/she interested in? If he or she is into southen literature or poetry of the Harlem Renaissance, I find it difficult to expect him or her to know even key postmodernist figures. I'm also a 20th c. Americanist and I honesly only know of Wolfe and Delilo bc both are popular at the bookstore I frequent. My research focuses on an earlier period and a different subject matter and my undergrad institution only had classes that went up to about 1945 so it's not like I would have been exposed to either in a classroom setting. I find that 20th c. American is a large enough field that even the most important authors can get lost until you actively search for them.

To your other point, I want to stress that it's definitely those SOPs and writing samples that get you in. My abysmal and embarassing gre lit score can die in a fire.

Edited March 18, 2010 by diehtc0ke

[Sparky]

To your other point, I want to stress that it's definitely those SOPs and writing samples that get you in. My abysmal and embarassing gre lit score can die in a fire.

Yes, but at programs without guaranteed funding, GRE scores get you funding from the graduate school. (In many cases. Not all, but many.)

Edited March 18, 2010 by Sparky

[PaperChaser]

Yes, but at programs without guaranteed funding, GRE scores get you funding from the graduate school. (In many cases. Not all, but many.)

Sometimes REALLY nice adcom profs identify with you if you're the kind of person who works your ass off but doesn't always "test well." My first acceptance phone call was from a DGS who, when pressed as to why the committee HAD to have ignored my GRE scores (awful, by any standards) to admit me, said "anyone who can score below the level of chance but manages to get glowing LORs, degrees with high GPAs, and continuous employment MUST have an interesting story to tell." (She then told me her GREs were LOWER than mine! And she went to a great program!) I think that people applying with just a BA have their GRE scores weighted much more heavily. On some level-unless you went to a very selective undergrad-how would a committee have any idea where to situate you "prospect-wise" without a "semi-objective" standard? (I won't go into how not semi-objective standardized testing is.) I really do think that if you have solid BA grades and mediocre test scores, you CAN get into a PhD without the MA if you absolutely ROCK the SOP and writing sample. The problem with that is...and this is JUST my opinion...it's a lot harder to know concretely what your interests are and how marketable they'll be in 5 years when you only have a BA. So that makes the SOP and writing sample considerably harder, since you haven't had the MA time and coursework to really develop either of those. Just a thought.

[Sparky]

Sometimes REALLY nice adcom profs identify with you if you're the kind of person who works your ass off but doesn't always "test well." My first acceptance phone call was from a DGS who, when pressed as to why the committee HAD to have ignored my GRE scores (awful, by any standards) to admit me, said "anyone who can score below the level of chance but manages to get glowing LORs, degrees with high GPAs, and continuous employment MUST have an interesting story to tell." (She then told me her GREs were LOWER than mine! And she went to a great program!) I think that people applying with just a BA have their GRE scores weighted much more heavily. On some level-unless you went to a very selective undergrad-how would a committee have any idea where to situate you "prospect-wise" without a "semi-objective" standard? (I won't go into how not semi-objective standardized testing is.) I really do think that if you have solid BA grades and mediocre test scores, you CAN get into a PhD without the MA if you absolutely ROCK the SOP and writing sample. The problem with that is...and this is JUST my opinion...it's a lot harder to know concretely what your interests are and how marketable they'll be in 5 years when you only have a BA. So that makes the SOP and writing sample considerably harder, since you haven't had the MA time and coursework to really develop either of those. Just a thought.

No, I mean, GRE scores are THE WAY that many (again, not all) schools that don't guarantee funding determine who gets it. They give TAships to the highest-scoring X% of admitted students. I'm not talking about departmental admissions or special snowflake fellowships. I'm talking about the people who will never see those glowing LORs, degrees with high GPAs, or record of continuous employment. They will see (a) your name ( your GRE score.

[diehtc0ke]

No, I mean, GRE scores are THE WAY that many (again, not all) schools that don't guarantee funding determine who gets it. They give TAships to the highest-scoring X% of admitted students. I'm not talking about departmental admissions or special snowflake fellowships. I'm talking about the people who will never see those glowing LORs, degrees with high GPAs, or record of continuous employment. They will see (a) your name ( your GRE score.

Hmm. I had no idea. The schools that I applied to for the most part give equal funding to everyone so I didn't know that this practice occurred. I certainly would be weary of applying to any school that uses GRE scores for the allocation of funds but that's probably because I performed so piss poorly on them.

[Branwen daughter of Llyr]

Hmm. I had no idea. The schools that I applied to for the most part give equal funding to everyone so I didn't know that this practice occurred. I certainly would be weary of applying to any school that uses GRE scores for the allocation of funds but that's probably because I performed so piss poorly on them.

The funding issue is the main reason why I'm so gung-ho about the subject test, and was so pleased about my second round of general GRE scores (that, and I have this intense need to prove that being 9 years out of school DOESN'T MATTER - I CAN STILL STUDY MY ASS OFF!!). Many state funded U's give out TAships and funding based on GRE's. Sux, horrible, unfair, but it exists. Obviously, the GRE's are less important in programs where acceptance automatically means funding.