Homesickness & Visiting Family

[ResilientDreams]

Hi GradCafe!

So I'm really close with my parents, sibling, and cousins, and as someone without a partner they form one of my most important support networks. It would be really important for me to be able to see them. I just had a really good interview experience at a school that's further away from home, and I'm trying to seriously think about what living out here/so far away would be like if they make me an offer. Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you deal with homesickness? And were you able to take time off to go back to see your family? If so, how much?

[PsyDuck90]

I have not been in that situation, but know people who have. They were able to visit on breaks from school (during the summer/the holidays/spring break, etc). I guess this also depends on how economically feasible it would be for you to visit often, as well as the distance. Like, is it a transcontinental flight or 7 hour drive? 

Moving away from home for grad school is relatively common, so members of your cohort may also be in similar situations. This is 1 reason why cohorts can be so close. 

[ResilientDreams]

3 minutes ago, PsyDGrad90 said:

I have not been in that situation, but know people who have. They were able to visit on breaks from school (during the summer/the holidays/spring break, etc). I guess this also depends on how economically feasible it would be for you to visit often, as well as the distance. Like, is it a transcontinental flight or 7 hour drive? 

Moving away from home for grad school is relatively common, so members of your cohort may also be in similar situations. This is 1 reason why cohorts can be so close. 

It would be about a six hour drive, so just at the cusp where going back for a normal weekend doesn't seem feasible. 

[PsyDuck90]

But still relatively doable when you have long weekends, etc. Also, keep in mind that you will be very busy during the semester. I'm in my 1st year, and I barely have time to spend with my fiance (and we live together!). It's definitely a personal choice, and you have to consider if you could emotionally be that far away from family. However, if it's drivable, it makes the option of driving over every few months a possibility, especially if you typically have Fridays free (and throw in a 3-day weekend with a Monday holiday such as President's Day and that's a 4-day weekend for you!). 

[PokePsych]

I am an 11 hr our flight away from my family (Europe) and 14 hr from my partner (Asia). Make a Skype schedule for the times you cannot go home - you won't have to deal with time zones, so that's a lot better. You'll often have time to travel home during winterbreak and summerbreak + thanksgiving and other longer holidays. 

[ResilientDreams]

Thanks guys. I'm realizing that it really isn't all that far and I'm sure I would be able to work something out. Thank you for all the replies. ❤️

[There&BackAgain]

15 hours ago, ResilientDreams said:

Thanks guys. I'm realizing that it really isn't all that far and I'm sure I would be able to work something out. Thank you for all the replies. ❤️

Glad you are seeing the silver-lining =) Though I personally have no expereince with homesickness (moved too much all the time); what helps me is to figure out what sort of support structure I need and how I can get that at wherever I am moving to. I mean support structure very broadly here so as someone who is a huge geek, one of those things is having friends I can share that with. Another would be that I like both reading and going to the movies so joining any clubs of that sort helps. I know that latter sounds super lame and all especially when you are trying to get into an already established group but for what it is worth it actually works. You just have to get over the self-consciousness hump first.
Anyway, mainly build up a network of people and activities that manages to give you what makes home so cozy and comfy. Most important thing though: it is always to a certain extent going to be a work in progress and that's fine. If you ask me that is also something that is part of the excitement of it! =)

Good luck! Enjoy the adventure ;)

[MarineBluePsy]

This was not my experience as I couldn't wait to get away from my family, but others in my program echo your concerns.  For those who's family are maybe 6-8 hours away by car they tend to go home on long weekends and breaks as others have suggested.  They also discussed this with their families and their parents drive out to them and spend the weekend every 4-6 weeks.  I don't know if this is feasible for your family, but it couldn't hurt to start exploring it as a possibility now.  Scheduling Skype chats or phone calls can also help you stay connected, especially if the weather is a factor in driving conditions.