Anxiety, Depression, and Excitment

[matcha]

Anyone freaking out after committing to a grad school? Questions like, "am I making the right choice?" "Am I smart enough?" "What am I going to do with more debt?"

'Cause I am.

[Nibor6000]

Yep. Lots of posts on this. Someone called it "impostor syndrome." If the diagnosis fits... :-)

Others have survived. You probably will, too! Besides, they wouldn't have accepted you if they didn't think you could do the work.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Start worrying about moving!

[Dith Vader]

I think I know what you mean.

I thought that I wouldn't get accepted anywhere but now I have several admits and I keep thinking that it must have been some logistical error... I'm scared that they'll find me out once I get there! ):

[Jae B.]

I'm really looking forward to grad school, but I'm still finishing up my undergrad. Now I'm terrified something might go wrong and I'd have to stay on another semester or something. I wish I were done already so I wouldn't have to worry!

[joro]

I'm totally scared of grad school. I honestly don't think I'm smart enough or remember enough from my undergrad. After figuring out where I will end up I will be studying like crazy to remember a ton of things from my undergrad.

[Raffy]

I have some experience about that, and I can tell it's gonna be fine.

In my country, the tough, competitive, stressful years are the two years following high school. You have to attend a very hard preparatory program before taking competitive exams toward elite schools.

When I started the prep program, I indeed thought I would be crushed. I thought my fellows were genius. Finally I got over it. It wasn't always fun, but I survived. And the others were just like me.

After that, I got into a famous school, and me too I thought there had been a mistake, and one day someone would tell me: "I'm really sorry, but the school has just realized there was a mistake with your admission", and crazy stuff like that. Now I remember that, it seems totally bulls***. And again I thought I would seem so stupid compared to the others, but no. I did well, not perfect but not bad either.

This is my own experience, but I know many, many people who were just like me. Of course some fail, but frankly they were ALWAYS those who couldn't care less about what they were doing, who didn't work, and so on. So if you are interested in your program, and willing to work (I don't mean being a workaholic, just working seriously), there's no way you can fail.

Now I am about to go to grad school, my main concern is rather leaving my country to live far away for five years... Everyone's afraid of something.

Good luck everyone!

[coyabean]

Every time I get a communication from my school I laugh hysterically at the thought of them taking me seriously. Like, manic laughter. Not sure what you'd call that? LOL

Oh God. That "LOL" was that laugh.

It could be my nervous reaction. I just cannot believe that I am expected to be some serious scholar in 90 days. I mean, in 90 days I'll be the same silly dork with a cowboy boot fetish that I am today. There's definitely some cognitive dissonance there.

But I'm excited! LOL

Oh God.

[Clawsworth]

That's funny, I thought I was the only one who worried that my acceptance letter was sent to me by mistake! I didn't think I'd get in anywhere (except maybe my backup that I REALLY was not looking forward to), so when I woke up and saw the acceptance letter from the place I thought would reject me for sure, I screamed! It still freaks me out that I'm going to the university I actually wanted to attend. Hopefully this feeling we all share will just encourage us to really do well in grad school!

[Squawker]

I remember moving to the Northeast and being accepted into a fancy prep school for high school. I was terrified, assuming everyone would laugh at me for being a moronic country bumpkin, so I was very diligent about my summer reading and assignments. When I arrived in the fall, it turned out that I was one of only about 3 people in the entire class who actually did the summer reading, let alone the accompanying assignment. I realized that everyone at my fancy new school was just as much of a bumpkin as I was, and they were worse off for being so complacent, expecting success without doing any work. My early success in those classes gave me a huge boost of confidence, to which I think it's fair to attribute the academic success I've had in the past 8 years. Before then I was an average student, but I think it just took a bit of a challenge to make me realize I could be better. I think that going into a program with a bit of fear is likely to produce more success than going into it thinking it will be a breeze. Approaching each new thing you do as a unique challenge is probably the best way to gain from these experiences.

[Jae B.]

I think that going into a program with a bit of fear is likely to produce more success than going into it thinking it will be a breeze. Approaching each new thing you do as a unique challenge is probably the best way to gain from these experiences.

Ah...I remember the good old days, when a little bit of fear did me a lot of good!

I think in my past two years of being constantly challenged and in intense competition, I've become a bit desensitized to fear. I still worry, but my reactions to my worries have declined. Experiencing fear is more exhausting and annoying for me now, since I'm (supposed to be) more capable and confident than I once was. Worries whisper in my head and I mostly spend my time trying to tell them to go away, since everything always turned out fine the times before, and the worst thing fear could do -- that I want to avoid at all costs -- is paralyze me. Outcomes seem more inevitable to me now; they're more predictable, so I'm less likely to go into that hyper overkill mode fear used to pitch me into (where for example I might spend an inefficient, excessive amount of time studying for one particularly scary test), for better or for worse.

Does fear still positively motivate you the way it used to?