reapply or take up the only offer I have?

[summertouch]

So I went to visit a school that offered me the only acceptance I got this year. It was my safety school and now I'm in a dilemma.

At this point, I'm not even sure if I was willing to move to where that school is located but of course I had no clue that this was going to be my only choice. The school is located in a really small town in the midwest, and I am a city person, which is what I realized after spending a couple of years in a small town. (I'm seriously getting depressed) Then why did I apply to begin with? I know. But I was really unaware that this was going to be my only shot.

The program is great, the advisor seemed nice and passionate about my subject, I was offered a really nice financial package that includes TAship, Internship, tuition waiver, and aside from all that, a flat grant scholarship. It's such a great offer that it seems stupid to say "no" to this. But I wasn't really able to see myself living there ("happily" for that matter).

Also, I and my boyfriend (we've been in a LDR for 2 years) were hoping that this time we would move to same city to pursue graduate degrees and it looks like he would be moving to the east coast. I have to be in residence for my PHD at least for 3 years. I don't see any future between us, if I move to where I got accepted.

I do feel that I can grow and will get a lot of support at the school I was admitted, but to me, life is not all about doing research. I also learned a lot through this app process and realized what exactly my research interest is and that I've been contacting the wrong people in the field, which makes me want to give myself another chance and reapply. But then again, with this economy, nothing is guaranteed and I might get rejected from every single school I apply. I'm not sure if it's a wise thing to take a huge risk as such.

At the same time, I'm not sure if it's wise to end up in a place I feel so so about, a place I might feel miserable. Am I being too naive? Should I just go?

[origin415]

If you feel your research interests have changed and you'll not enjoy living there, I don't see why you should feel obligated to take it. Whats the rush in getting to grad school?

Do some research and compile a list of potential schools to apply to next year, more focused with your interests as far as where you want to live and research. Use the information you learned from this round as an asset. From the sounds of it, you aimed a bit too high (no offense, I did too, its pretty easy to in these economic times), so focusing on schools about the same level as the one you got into will get more results.

[Postbib Yeshuist]

There's a lot to be said for trying again with a better idea of what you're doing. A nice package is always a good thing to have, but ultimately you need to be sure you're where you'll be able to finish (i.e. you like where you end up).

As for your chances next year, I'm willing to bet they're FAR better than this year, especially given what you've learned. If you didn't get into at least one more school than this year, I'd be surprised. be sure to use the summer to stay in touch with the "right" profs and next year will be much better. I'm sure of it.

[shakespearebro]

I think I would split my advice. On the one hand, I think you should listen very carefully to the voice that is questioning your resolve. If you're not feeling pretty comfortable about this school and this career path, I'd take a deep breath and maybe even a career pause. It takes tremendous resolve and dedication to finish this path, even for people with enormous confidence in their choices and direction. Starting out with such serious concerns tells me maybe you should step back and think about next year.

On the other hand, I do think that the boyfriend/LDR issue should probably get less attention. The hallways of lower-level career options are full of women who sacrificed their careers for a man/boyfriend/relationship only to be left alone in the end. I wouldn't put too much stock in the consequences to the relationship. Make your choice based on your own abilities, goals, interests, personal fulfillment. If the relationship is a good fit for everyone, it will adapt to those choices--for both of you.

Spoken as a jaded, older grad student divorced during his third masters degree.

[johndiligent]

All of the other things (like not wanting to live in a small town) could be dealt with, but the fact that your research interests have changed makes me want to encourage you to apply again. It takes a lot of energy to sustain a thesis, for that matter to sustain a career, and if you're no longer interested in something that that department can really assist you with, it would likely be better to apply elsewhere.

But either way, don't make this decision lightly. Imagine that you do apply again next year and you get rejected across the board, would you wish you had accepted this offer? If not, then you're making the right choice. But if you think you would regret this, take your time and think it over.

[LateAntique]

This is the very reason no one should have "safety schools".

You said you have refined your research interest - is it something that this department wouldn't be able to handle? If not, what could you do over the summer that would dramatically change your application from this year to next? Refining your research interests is great, but if you got rejected from everywhere but this one place, it seems like other things in your app would have to change.

Also, don't be led by the boyfriend situation. If he's in graduate studies as well, he should understand. 

[summertouch]

Thank you for all of your input. I just thought I should clarify one thing. By change of my research interest, I meant I realized I haven't realized exactly how to articulate it until now, and for that reason, have been contacting the wrong people, which of course led me to bunch of rejections. For example, (I'm an art history major) while I had to contact Contemporary art historians I have been contacting East Asian art historians, which did not play in my favor. This is due to the nature of my study, which cannot be categorized neatly, but I'm glad that I at least figured out what was wrong and where to start from. The program I was accepted to is actually able to provide support I'd need to pursue my research. They told me they are willing to "experiment" with me- which could be both exciting and nerve wracking. Anyhow, I thought I should mention it. I appreciate all of your comments. I've been so stressed out about making a decision and am gladly taking in every single opinion/advice. Thanks.

[LTee]

Im in a similar situation, the (most likely) only school I got into, Im having serious second thoughts about. While Im not to concerned about the location, Im just worried that the school itself isn't a good fit for me. But in the end it will lead to the the degree I want. I will be entering a LDR with my bf if I go, as well as taking out serious loans for the program. I figured if I got into a school that I was really excited about, that these downfalls wouldn't be so hard to face. But it seems like I didn't really know which school I was genuinely excited about until after Id begun the app process. So in general, should one take the only offer they have? And Im curious as to why people say next year will be better?

[mbs191]

I would use the "gut" approach to this whole situation (which I was almost in myself, and had therefore, started to take myself through).

Step 1: Imagine yourself at this University in 8 months from now (November/December ish) - how do you feel? Will you be excited at having been able to 'experiment' with the Faculty, the idea of getting used to living (for a little while) in a small town and traveling some weekends to the closest city? Or, are you constantly on the internet buying expensive "city" stuff and watching Sex in the City dreaming you were walking down 5th Avenue instead?

Step 2: Imagine that you have declined the offer, and it is now November/December 2010. Are you glad you declined the offer and are awaiting taking your GRE's again/getting all your applications in place - sending them off, checking GradCafe every 24.9 seconds to see if there has been a posting?

Which one makes you more "comfortable?" Which one makes you more nervous - but in a good/excited way? Basically, picture yourself 50 years from now telling some grandkid about the story - was the amazing experience at this school (which happened to be in the middle of nowhere) actually a surprise that you ended up liking - or would you rather tell them that it was worth waiting and reapplying again.

Although you may not like the answer initially....these few exercises should help you determine what is best for you :-)

Best of luck!

[summertouch]

Thank you for all of your input. I am actually trying to picture myself with questions mbs191 suggested in order to see what my "gut" tells me. As of now, the answer keeps changing every single moment as I talk to different people, but I know that eventually I'll make the right choice. Thanks!

[psycholinguist]

I'm with johndiligent here. I was in this position last year; I freaked out and accepted my only offer because a) I thought I was being elitist when I wasn't all that enthusiastic about my safety-school, and I figured any grad-school was better than no grad-school. Wrong! Within the first week of being there I knew I liked the people in the department, but I wasn't in the right place for myself. No one was doing the sorts of research I wanted to do, meaning that I was dreading having to be assigned to something I had no interest in whatsoever. I knew I liked being a grad-student, fundamentally, and I wasn't miserable, but I felt sick at the thought of having to go back after the winter holidays. So I actually ended up leaving the program and getting a quiet little IT-job in another city. Have reapplied this year and done much better.

What I would encourage you to do (if possible) is visit the department that has accepted you. If you like the look of it and you're encouraged by their approach to your emergent research-ideas, then go for it. If not, then try next year; that's what I ought to have done rather than simply settle for something that I already knew wasn't going to be a great experience. Grad-school is intense; you want to be excited about it!

Best of luck!

[captiv8ed]

I am kind of in the same position, but I got into two schools. One I have already turned down. It would have been a decent fit but the living situation would have been too difficult. The other one was one of my top choices. And now I have visited and I just felt so so sad while I was there. The interests don't match up as closely as I had thought they would, and the town just made me really sad. Which sucks because they have offered me a very generous package. I am still not sure what I am doing, and I am wait listed at two others, so there is still information hanging out there.

[summertouch]

I'm with johndiligent here. I was in this position last year; I freaked out and accepted my only offer because a) I thought I was being elitist when I wasn't all that enthusiastic about my safety-school, and I figured any grad-school was better than no grad-school. Wrong! Within the first week of being there I knew I liked the people in the department, but I wasn't in the right place for myself. No one was doing the sorts of research I wanted to do, meaning that I was dreading having to be assigned to something I had no interest in whatsoever. I knew I liked being a grad-student, fundamentally, and I wasn't miserable, but I felt sick at the thought of having to go back after the winter holidays. So I actually ended up leaving the program and getting a quiet little IT-job in another city. Have reapplied this year and done much better.

What I would encourage you to do (if possible) is visit the department that has accepted you. If you like the look of it and you're encouraged by their approach to your emergent research-ideas, then go for it. If not, then try next year; that's what I ought to have done rather than simply settle for something that I already knew wasn't going to be a great experience. Grad-school is intense; you want to be excited about it!

Best of luck!

Thank you for your advice psycholinguist!

How important do you think is the location? I'm really dreading that I won't enjoy the location that much while I did feel that I would be encouraged and get a lot of support to do what I want to study at that department while I was visiting. Didn't like the town at all but the package is really generous and the faculty is willing to work with me. Ugh. Some told me to just go and test out the water for the first 1-2 months and reapply if I really don't like it. That way I'll have something to fall back to, yes, but the thought of having to disclose all this (let's say) to my advisor after I'm accepted to another program kills me. I'm not sure how I would approach POIs at other schools when I reapply, either- do I tell them I'm already enrolled at another school?

[summertouch]

I am kind of in the same position, but I got into two schools. One I have already turned down. It would have been a decent fit but the living situation would have been too difficult. The other one was one of my top choices. And now I have visited and I just felt so so sad while I was there. The interests don't match up as closely as I had thought they would, and the town just made me really sad. Which sucks because they have offered me a very generous package. I am still not sure what I am doing, and I am wait listed at two others, so there is still information hanging out there.

I feel you. While I was encouraged and glad to know that my potential advisor is really willing to work with me and make things happen, I couldn't get rid of this odd reluctance in the back of my mind. Maybe I went there with prejudice to begin with, even so, the location or the department did not excite me as much as I feel they should. But then again, 2nd round of apps really does not guarantee anything- and the generous package is just too good to say "no" that I don't want to look back and regret.... Please do share what you end up choosing. April 15 is coming by!!!!!

[waldorf1975]

Personal happiness and emotional support are important for graduate school. If you really want to do this, your boyfriend will understand. And it won't be the end of the world if you lose a boyfriend while pursuing your career goals.

Boyfriend matters aside, you don't sound excited about the program, which is reason enough to wait until next year. The economy might improve by then, which will mean fewer competitors when you re-apply. You're obviously a good candidate; otherwise, your safety school wouldn't have offered you such a good package to begin with. If you can sit tight for a year, do it--just make sure you're waiting for yourself and not for romance reasons.

[psycholinguist]

Thank you for your advice psycholinguist!

How important do you think is the location? I'm really dreading that I won't enjoy the location that much while I did feel that I would be encouraged and get a lot of support to do what I want to study at that department while I was visiting. Didn't like the town at all but the package is really generous and the faculty is willing to work with me. Ugh. Some told me to just go and test out the water for the first 1-2 months and reapply if I really don't like it. That way I'll have something to fall back to, yes, but the thought of having to disclose all this (let's say) to my advisor after I'm accepted to another program kills me. I'm not sure how I would approach POIs at other schools when I reapply, either- do I tell them I'm already enrolled at another school?

No problem! (Apologies - didn't realise that you'd already been to visit them! Glad you had, though.)

I also agree entirely with waldorf1975.

Anyway, this is really your call. If you didn't feel at home there for whatever reason(s), then that's a good indication that you wouldn't regret turning them down and reapplying to aim for a place you can get excited about in more ways. Trying it out would be totally okay, and admirably open-minded; if it didn't work out, though, you'd probably need to find a good way of explaining in your SOP next year why you spent only a single semester at the school in question. If the reason has more to do with location than anything else, it may not convince anyone. So you'd have to think of something more plausible. But that could be done too: your changing interests, for example.

[summertouch]

I'm with johndiligent here. I was in this position last year; I freaked out and accepted my only offer because a) I thought I was being elitist when I wasn't all that enthusiastic about my safety-school, and I figured any grad-school was better than no grad-school. Wrong! Within the first week of being there I knew I liked the people in the department, but I wasn't in the right place for myself. No one was doing the sorts of research I wanted to do, meaning that I was dreading having to be assigned to something I had no interest in whatsoever. I knew I liked being a grad-student, fundamentally, and I wasn't miserable, but I felt sick at the thought of having to go back after the winter holidays. So I actually ended up leaving the program and getting a quiet little IT-job in another city. Have reapplied this year and done much better.

What I would encourage you to do (if possible) is visit the department that has accepted you. If you like the look of it and you're encouraged by their approach to your emergent research-ideas, then go for it. If not, then try next year; that's what I ought to have done rather than simply settle for something that I already knew wasn't going to be a great experience. Grad-school is intense; you want to be excited about it!

Best of luck!

psycholinguist, I have a question- was it a PhD program? and if so, were you offered a scholarship/fellowship/TAship? I'm curious about how one should handle "transferring" to another program if that person was admitted with some kind of financial package.

[psycholinguist]

psycholinguist, I have a question- was it a PhD program? and if so, were you offered a scholarship/fellowship/TAship? I'm curious about how one should handle "transferring" to another program if that person was admitted with some kind of financial package.

Yes and yes. Now, I didn't transfer in the strictest sense of the word, and nothing carried over. I had financial support for the one semester I did at last year's safety-school, but they gave it to me one month at a time, so I simply stopped being paid at the end of December. I had completed a one-semester TA-position, and because I was leaving, I didn't sign up for one in the second semester. So I was supported through my time there, and when I left, I went and got a job while waiting to be admitted into a new program. Which made its own financial decisions about me when it accepted me.

[juilletmercredi]

I want to know - you said that your research interests haven't so much changed as you articulated them incorrectly and thus got the wrong people. First, is this something that can be fixed/addressed at the school that made the offer to you? Is there someone there with whom you can study what you really want? If not, then the rest doesn't matter. Secondly, if the answer to the first question is yes - do you think that was the number one factor in your rejection to the other places, and do you think if you had articulated yourself differently that you would've gotten in? Do you think that just clarifying your interests will get you in next year, all other things being equal?

About the location - it seems like that's your primary focus. Let me speak about this from the flip side, as a city girl whose parents moved her to the suburbs and who was DYING to get back to the big city, and got that wish when I got into my top choice. I love living in New York; I really do. HOWEVER, knowing what I know now, I would've gone to a smaller city and done my grad work had a smaller city been a better fit and given me the support I needed. While there were certain places I was 100% unwilling to go (Birmingham, AL - great program, and a great contact there, but heck no. I didn't even apply. Good thing, too, because my potential advisor moved to another school one year in, also in Alabama), one thing I've realized since I've been here is that you don't have the time to experience the surrounding city the way you think you're going to when you plot location. A small town or suburb is absolutely FINE for graduate school even if you consider yourself a big-city girl. The vast majority of your time will be spent reading, writing, meeting with advisors and other professors, attending classes, attending conferences, and doing other things that are NOT out enjoying the city. Even when you do have a social life, you quickly realize that city amenities can be very expensive! I would check out what the town has to offer before dismissing it whole cloth. Remember, it's actually a pretty short period of time - I'm almost finished with my 2nd year and I cannot believe it.

[summertouch]

I want to know - you said that your research interests haven't so much changed as you articulated them incorrectly and thus got the wrong people. First, is this something that can be fixed/addressed at the school that made the offer to you? Is there someone there with whom you can study what you really want? If not, then the rest doesn't matter. Secondly, if the answer to the first question is yes - do you think that was the number one factor in your rejection to the other places, and do you think if you had articulated yourself differently that you would've gotten in? Do you think that just clarifying your interests will get you in next year, all other things being equal?

About the location - it seems like that's your primary focus. Let me speak about this from the flip side, as a city girl whose parents moved her to the suburbs and who was DYING to get back to the big city, and got that wish when I got into my top choice. I love living in New York; I really do. HOWEVER, knowing what I know now, I would've gone to a smaller city and done my grad work had a smaller city been a better fit and given me the support I needed. While there were certain places I was 100% unwilling to go (Birmingham, AL - great program, and a great contact there, but heck no. I didn't even apply. Good thing, too, because my potential advisor moved to another school one year in, also in Alabama), one thing I've realized since I've been here is that you don't have the time to experience the surrounding city the way you think you're going to when you plot location. A small town or suburb is absolutely FINE for graduate school even if you consider yourself a big-city girl. The vast majority of your time will be spent reading, writing, meeting with advisors and other professors, attending classes, attending conferences, and doing other things that are NOT out enjoying the city. Even when you do have a social life, you quickly realize that city amenities can be very expensive! I would check out what the town has to offer before dismissing it whole cloth. Remember, it's actually a pretty short period of time - I'm almost finished with my 2nd year and I cannot believe it.

I would articulate my interest differently and this time will definitely prepare better in terms of contacting my POIs- I sent out a somewhat generic SOP but now regret doing so. I'll try to read more and tailor down my SOP according to each department. Other than the "articulation" problem, I'm also going to work on my language skill which is really important in my field- I'm planning on touching up the two languages I studied in high school (chinese and Japanese), and also French (in which I almost did my minor for my BA). Higher chances are I'd spend some time in China to work on my Chinese. One thing that keeps coming back to my mind also is that I sent out a WS that was written on a totally different subject other than my own. I'll try to publish something as well..this is pretty much all I could think of to make a difference in my apps. I hope these would be added on top of contacting the "right" faculty this time.

I appreciate your advice on the location - you're right. After all, I won't really need a glamours city life while I'm in grad school. My fear is, though, I study contemporary art (being an art history major) and often it is important to be around the art scene - where I can visit lots of museums and galleries. But then again, I'd be mostly writing, reading, and taking classes... That's something to think about. Thank you for your advice!!