Rate my GRE essay

[Namann]

The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

 

 

Like the famous saying goes, 'If you want to go fast, walk alone, if you want to go far, walk together'. I suppose the greatest movements of our time have come through cooperation, comman belief and unity. When people start to work together, they become a stronger force. I agree with this statement, however, to some extent, having a will to compete goes a long way in making a good leader. 

Some of the qualities that a good leader must have are intelligence, ability to handle people and a strong sense of self-belief instilled in them. A good leader is required to lead from the front, able to rally his/her men and be the face of his/her people. A good leader must be humble, and have the power to accept a defeat or loss. They should be able to focus on the bigger picture and have a catholic mindset. 

When the younger generation is taught how to 'co-operate' instead of 'compete' they learn how to work together. They learn how to adjust, adapt and most importantly, in my opinion, how to listen to people. If you are always in the mood to 'compete' or prove yourself to be superior, you won't win a lot of fans or followers. And, in the long run, it is important that you gather an ardent following as the path to the top is long and ardous. If you want to get to the upper echelons of government, industry or any field for that fact, you must be ready to knuckle under in some circumstances. 

However, competition causes people to push themselves more, it gives motivation to people to do even better. It's important to instill this belief in people as well, as having a good fighting spirit is vital in the long run. You don't want to be like a sheep in a pack, you want to be the leader of the pack, the fox. For this, you must have a competitive spirit and this is the reason why competitions are important in the growth of younger people. Having a killer instinct is of vital importance for a leader. 

In the end, I believe it depends on the severity of the competition and cooperation. I think it is just as important to be cooperative as it is to be competitive. There should be a balance of both. 

[BTF]

29 minutes ago, Namann said:

The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

 

 

Like the famous saying goes, 'If you want to go fast, walk alone, if you want to go far, walk together'. I suppose the greatest movements of our time have come through cooperation, comman belief and unity. When people start to work together, they become a stronger force. I agree with this statement, however, to some extent, having a will to compete goes a long way in making a good leader. 

Some of the qualities that a good leader must have are intelligence, ability to handle people and a strong sense of self-belief instilled in them. A good leader is required to lead from the front, able to rally his/her men and be the face of his/her people. A good leader must be humble, and have the power to accept a defeat or loss. They should be able to focus on the bigger picture and have a catholic mindset. 

When the younger generation is taught how to 'co-operate' instead of 'compete' they learn how to work together. They learn how to adjust, adapt and most importantly, in my opinion, how to listen to people. If you are always in the mood to 'compete' or prove yourself to be superior, you won't win a lot of fans or followers. And, in the long run, it is important that you gather an ardent following as the path to the top is long and ardous. If you want to get to the upper echelons of government, industry or any field for that fact, you must be ready to knuckle under in some circumstances. 

However, competition causes people to push themselves more, it gives motivation to people to do even better. It's important to instill this belief in people as well, as having a good fighting spirit is vital in the long run. You don't want to be like a sheep in a pack, you want to be the leader of the pack, the fox. For this, you must have a competitive spirit and this is the reason why competitions are important in the growth of younger people. Having a killer instinct is of vital importance for a leader. 

In the end, I believe it depends on the severity of the competition and cooperation. I think it is just as important to be cooperative as it is to be competitive. There should be a balance of both. 

1. It doesn't argue anything. You are supposed to be arguing for cooperation over competition or vice versa

2. Don't talk about foxes, use quotes, or say a catholic mindset. These all do nothing for your essay.

3. Have a thesis statement at the end of your introduction that mentions three points. Each point in the thesis statement will be given a paragraph in the body.

4. Competition isn't just about being superior to others, competition can be with yourself.

5. Make sure you precisely define what competition and cooperation are in your essay and stay consistent throughout.

6. Write with brevity. Defeat and loss are the same thing, pick one.