Transferring Out of Grad Program

[futurespeechpath1]

I understand I'm full of emotion right now and probably shouldn't be making any rash decisions so maybe this thread will help me if i still feel this way when I calm down or help someone else down the road.

I'm looking to transfer out of my current graduate program and into a different program. Is it possible to do and if so what are the steps? I thought about emailing a few schools I had been accepted too but declined their admission offers to attend this program and asking them to defer, would that work? I'm a first year grad student and I'm about five or six weeks into the first semester (I start clinic this week but I am co-teaching with another first year grad student).

Basically an alumni of my university not my grad program made a facebook post slamming my university regarding how they are handling COVID-19. I replied to the post informing her that I believe my department is handling things well and mentioned a consent waiver that a few of the grad students were upset about that both speech pathology and nursing majors had to sign as we would be doing medical placements. I said how the speech pathology grad students refused to sign it until clarification was given but i was unsure if that was the case for nursing. I continued to say Idid not know what was going on in other departments just my own but I did like how mine was handling things.

Well the dean of nursing and health sciences which the speech pathology department falls under was unhappy with my comment. She informed my clinic director very vaguely of my comment making it sound like I was speaking negatively of the university. The dean called me and told me of how well nursing is handling things. She also added that those who badmouth the university don't get to do clinic. I explained to her my comment was simply saying what I had intended it to say that I like the way my department is handling things I am just unsure of what other departments are doing because I am not in other departments. She then said she misinterpreted it and to be careful of what I post online, hopes this was a life lesson, didn't call to reprimand, etc.

I then reached out to my clinical director because I was nervous since I did not know at the time the dean twisted what I wrote before talking to me to both the program and clinical director. I sat down with the clinic director this morning to talk about it and she seemed annoyed at first and said she thought we'd all appreciate all she does and she had to stop her work to talk to her boss. She said I never spoke to her about issues with the waiver and only the second years did. I explained the meaning behind my comment just as I did to the dean but she was still unhappy that I received my information from second year students and not gone to her directly if I had issues. I told her I didn't have issues with the waiver because of course I understood the risks of COVID-19 and doing clinic and medical placements. However, medical placements are not something first years in my grad program really need to worry about yet that's more for second years which is why I did not raise any concerns, especially already knowing the second year grad students already did. She told me she wasn't angry but to be more careful of what I post online and said speech path is a small world and I wouldn't want my faculty to inform potential employers that I was badmouthing the university (when I was not).

I do see how the comment I mad could be misinterpreted but it really did not have any negative meaning behind it I was just simply stating that my department is handling things well and I don't know about other departments then briefly mentioned the waiver. I feel uncomfortable by the fact that dean twisted what I said then mentioned the "people who bad mouth the university can't do clinic" and how the program director said "Faculty recommend students for jobs so you should have a good relationship with them." I also found it a little passive aggressive when the clinic director had said we should be more appreciative of what she does when I am honestly the only first year grad student to remind my cohort about how hard they are working even though clinic is quite disorganized at the moment. The dean and clinic director both said, "I'm not saying to delete your post but you should be careful since future employers see that sort of thing." Ultimately implying that I had to delete it.

I understand that right now I am just very upset and need to calm down before making any rash decisions such as transferring graduate programs. I was just wondering if that is even possible and how to go about it in case I do decide to do this based on this situation?

Edited September 22, 2020 by futurespeechpath1

[Sigaba]

4 hours ago, futurespeechpath1 said:

I replied to the post informing her that I believe my department is handling things well and mentioned a consent waiver that a few of the grad students were upset about that both speech pathology and nursing majors had to sign as we would be doing medical placements. I said how the speech pathology grad students refused to sign it until clarification was given but i was unsure if that was the case for nursing. I continued to say Idid not know what was going on in other departments just my own but I did like how mine was handling things.

[...]

I do see how the comment I mad could be misinterpreted but it really did not have any negative meaning behind it I was just simply stating that my department is handling things well and I don't know about other departments then briefly mentioned the waiver. I feel uncomfortable by the fact that dean twisted what I said then mentioned the "people who bad mouth the university can't do clinic" and how the program director said "Faculty recommend students for jobs so you should have a good relationship with them." I also found it a little passive aggressive when the clinic director had said we should be more appreciative of what she does when I am honestly the only first year grad student to remind my cohort about how hard they are working even though clinic is quite disorganized at the moment. The dean and clinic director both said, "I'm not saying to delete your post but you should be careful since future employers see that sort of thing." Ultimately implying that I had to delete it.

Hi, @futurespeechpath1

I am sorry that you've had a rough experience. Please consider taking some time today to relax and rest after you take down your post on FB as you were told. (And you were definitely told to take down the post.)

My two cents are that if the bolded paragraph accurately represents what you posted on Facebook, the comment could reasonably be taken as criticism, even "bad mouthing." I think that it would be worth your time to figure out why.

IMO, you are receiving pretty good support from the dean and clinic director. They've told you that you're in CLM territory, they've advised you of the risk, and they've proposed a corrective action that gets you back on track. (They did not walk you through why they find your post controversial. I think that they should have.)

Also, because they hold positions of authority over you, they cannot and are not exhibiting "passive aggressive behavior." They provided strong guidance in a format that you don't like. The challenge you face is to acknowledge how you feel, to accept the legitimacy of those feelings, and then use your intellect to figure out why the post went so sideways for you, what steps you can take to make things right, and what the dean and the director are teaching you.

Here's a FWIW disclosure. I've been in situations like the one you're experiencing a "few times." I've been cut a lot of slack because people higher up in the food chain understand that my heart is generally in the right place, even when I'm putting both feet in my mouth.

[futurespeechpath1]

On 9/22/2020 at 3:16 PM, Sigaba said:

Hi, @futurespeechpath1

I am sorry that you've had a rough experience. Please consider taking some time today to relax and rest after you take down your post on FB as you were told. (And you were definitely told to take down the post.)

My two cents are that if the bolded paragraph accurately represents what you posted on Facebook, the comment could reasonably be taken as criticism, even "bad mouthing." I think that it would be worth your time to figure out why.

IMO, you are receiving pretty good support from the dean and clinic director. They've told you that you're in CLM territory, they've advised you of the risk, and they've proposed a corrective action that gets you back on track. (They did not walk you through why they find your post controversial. I think that they should have.)

Also, because they hold positions of authority over you, they cannot and are not exhibiting "passive aggressive behavior." They provided strong guidance in a format that you don't like. The challenge you face is to acknowledge how you feel, to accept the legitimacy of those feelings, and then use your intellect to figure out why the post went so sideways for you, what steps you can take to make things right, and what the dean and the director are teaching you.

Here's a FWIW disclosure. I've been in situations like the one you're experiencing a "few times." I've been cut a lot of slack because people higher up in the food chain understand that my heart is generally in the right place, even when I'm putting both feet in my mouth.

Hello @Sigaba

Thanks for your reply. I decided to wait at least 24 hours before coming back and I'm feeling a lot calmer. I did delete the post on Sunday after I had spoken with the dean of the school of nursing and health sciences.

I did try asking why while meeting with the clinic educator. She didn't really give me a reason aside from telling me to see it from all perspectives. I did talk to a few people regarding this issue and one person told me that since the first thing the read was the other girl's post who was actually badmouthing the university they were most likely feeling angry or upset by what the girl said and by the time they got to what I had written they could've just seen everything in that thread as negative. There's also the fact that the clinical educator is under immense stress right now making sure clinic goes smoothly and such.

The guidance wasn't necessarily what I found passive aggressive. The comment she made when she said, "I'm working day and night to ensure the clinic runs smoothly and meeting with my boss (the dean) took away from my time to continue my work. I'd expect everyone to appreciate me more for that." The appreciation part was what I found a bit passive aggressive or that she was taking her stress out on me just for a moment before getting into the guidance portion of the conversation.

It seems that the relationships with everyone is still on good terms after I cleared the misunderstanding behind what I said and I already know the lesson was to be careful of what I post online. Which is a good lesson. I just did not feel comfortable initially continuing in the program if the relationships were not good. It was just the tone of some things that were said that made me uncomfortable when discussing it with the clinic director. it was hard to tell if she was angry or just irritated.

[feralgrad]

I'm glad that you're feeling better about this, but I figured I'd offer my two cents: this may be less about badmouthing the university and more about badmouthing the people you work with. It seems like you and your supervisors are on the same page now, but your original comment may have sounded like you thought they were responding poorly to the crisis. And frankly, even if they are, they're humans dealing with an incredibly stressful situation. As leaders in the university, they're responsible for ensuring your safety /and/ the continued viability of the program through unprecedented times. In short, they're definitely feeling high-strung and sensitive right now.

That's not to make you feel bad -- I think your comment sounds understandable. Just offering another perspective since you seem surprised by their reactions.

[futurespeechpath1]

34 minutes ago, feralgrad said:

I'm glad that you're feeling better about this, but I figured I'd offer my two cents: this may be less about badmouthing the university and more about badmouthing the people you work with. It seems like you and your supervisors are on the same page now, but your original comment may have sounded like you thought they were responding poorly to the crisis. And frankly, even if they are, they're humans dealing with an incredibly stressful situation. As leaders in the university, they're responsible for ensuring your safety /and/ the continued viability of the program through unprecedented times. In short, they're definitely feeling high-strung and sensitive right now.

That's not to make you feel bad -- I think your comment sounds understandable. Just offering another perspective since you seem surprised by their reactions.

Thanks for your reply! Yeah I can see that now. I originally I commented it as a means to defend them but I guess bringing up the waiver made it more sound like something negative. I just hope nobody holds it against me but after it got cleared up and the comment was deleted etc. The clinic director said nobody was made she just seemed annoyed because she said she had a lot going on and was overworked and this took time out of her day when she could've been getting things done.