A Question of Names

[poco_puffs]

Just wondering if anyone has any experience with this:

What would you suggest for an academic of the lady persuasion who gets married and is presented with the option of taking a new last name? Is it crazy that I can see an issue arising where I publish some things under one name and then start publishing under my married name? I've considered keeping my maiden name for professional reasons and keeping the new name for my personal life, checks, forms etc.

[janaep]

Just wondering if anyone has any experience with this:

What would you suggest for an academic of the lady persuasion who gets married and is presented with the option of taking a new last name? Is it crazy that I can see an issue arising where I publish some things under one name and then start publishing under my married name? I've considered keeping my maiden name for professional reasons and keeping the new name for my personal life, checks, forms etc.

Are you getting married soon and do you already have publications? I guess I'm just confused....if you're a new grad student and are getting married, it doesn't seem like name confusion would be a problem (but in my field grad students pretty much don't publish, so maybe you've already got stuff out).

I think there could potentially be some confusion among random people looking at your CV or reading your papers, but for anything that matters (tenure reviews, job interviews) I think the people who matter will be able to figure it out.

[Medievalmaniac]

This is an important issue for women in academia - especially if you're married to an academic. In many instances, especially those in which the husband is older or better-known in the field, having his last name can potentially hurt you (I think of Roger Sherman Loomis, the great Arthurian scholar, and his wife Laura Loomis, who was extremely competent, but who ultimately only published a handful of articles because she was eclipsed by her husband's star). However, there are also cases in which a married academic couple are well known as such (I think of the Potkays at William and Mary, for example, who co-authored a very popular Bible as Literature study). There's also the ever-looming concern over what happens if you get divorced and take on a different name, but have published under your first married name? Name changes can get dicey for women.

Ultimately, I think a lot of academic women choose to keep their maiden name for professional purposes and use their married name for their personal life. For me, that would be so confusing! I would never be able to keep up with it all - paychecks to my maiden name, bank account in my maiden and married name, bills to married name except for professional association dues, to maiden name - ack! WAY too much for me to keep track of...plus, what about my kids? Maiden or married name for them? What happens when my colleagues become my friends - by which name do they call me then? I know a lot of women do it, but it's definitely not for me.

A lot of women will hyphenate to avoid that sort of scenario - but I personally don't like that one, either - maybe it's the lit critic/feminist scholar in me, but I see the hyphen as too-obvious a compromise, and a physical dividing within my very name of my Self. Also, our kids are our kids, they're not hyphenates. I want the same last name as my kids! lol Finally, the hyphenate is also a clue to adcomms and to search committees as to your marital status- they're not supposed to ask, but they can assume, and it can be detrimental to getting the job in some cases. I want to be judged on the merits of my scholarship, not on my marital status...so I wanted an identity that spoke to my place as a wife and mother but also established me firmly as an individual to be judged as such.

So, I didn't hyphenate. I kept my maiden name as a second middle name, as it were, and added my married name to the end, in (on paper) a seamlessly interwoven construction of my whole Self (think along the lines of Jada Pinkett Smith, for example). I think many women are doing this now as an alternative to the hyphenate, because it acknowledges the married relationship but also maintains the individual identity without subjugating it to the married one.

Ultimately, of course, this is an intensely personal decision and one you have to make for yourself...

Good luck!!

[wordslinger]

I really relate to this issue too... I took my husband's last name when we married but have since divorced. I had my first publication in a national journal in January, so I used my maiden name and am in the process of returning to that name in all ways (driver's license, bank, grad school, etc.). I really could not imagine publishing and working under somebody else's name.

I may eventually marry again (or maybe not!), but I think I'll not change my name again, probably for equal personal and professional reasons. As for the OP, I know no one enters a marriage thinking about the possibility of being post-marriage, but my advice is that a woman has to take care of herself, look at her own interests professionally, financially, personally, etc. And relationships can be happy whether you share the same last name or not. If you were to have children, they would be fine. I know many children who do not share one (or even either) of their parents' last names and they seem untraumatized.

Good luck with your decision!

[Squawker]

I don't ever intend to change my name, because the idea of changing my own name halfway through my life just seems crazy, plus I really like my name and would be sad to give it up. Also, it would be so confusing. My mother went for the hyphenated name solution, which I think has turned out to be more hassle than it's worth because no one ever remembers the hyphenated name, but writes to her as one or the other, essentially leaving her with two interchangeable last names. If you are intent on changing your name when you marry, I suggest changing your name in your personal life (checkbook, drivers license, etc.), but then publishing under both names so that people will still know who you are with or without your husband's added name. So, Chelsea Hlodsman marrying Donald Fritato would become Chelsea Fritato but in her publications could be Chelsea Hlodsman Fritato. Just a suggestion - can't see it getting too complicated because it's not like you'll be publishing things every five minutes, so you'd only have to use the longer name very rarely, about as rarely as you would currently use your middle name.

Of course, if I marry someone with a last name like Tinkeldorf or just something completely ridiculous, I'll go for the hyphenated double name. Otherwise, I'm keeping it simple and sticking with my own!

[poco_puffs]

Are you getting married soon and do you already have publications? I guess I'm just confused....if you're a new grad student and are getting married, it doesn't seem like name confusion would be a problem (but in my field grad students pretty much don't publish, so maybe you've already got stuff out).

I think there could potentially be some confusion among random people looking at your CV or reading your papers, but for anything that matters (tenure reviews, job interviews) I think the people who matter will be able to figure it out.

Confusion understandable. I've been in a serious relationship for a long time now, but marriage is still a long way down the road. The name thing is just something that I've been thinking about a lot.

[JustChill]

My parents have different last names, and you guys have no idea how much headache this caused me growing up. I constantly had to explain this at every point during my teenage years. Everyone always assumed that my mom was either my stepmother or just some woman my dad was dating at the time! I got teased about this frequently in middle school and high school and it really didn't stop until I moved away for college and most of my peers were more mature.

[poco_puffs]

So, I didn't hyphenate. I kept my maiden name as a second middle name, as it were, and added my married name to the end, in (on paper) a seamlessly interwoven construction of my whole Self (think along the lines of Jada Pinkett Smith, for example). I think many women are doing this now as an alternative to the hyphenate, because it acknowledges the married relationship but also maintains the individual identity without subjugating it to the married one.

I have considered both hyphenation and this option. With my current guy, the combination of our last names would result in something pretty abrupt-sounding and odd-looking, which makes either of these options a little less appealing. I've seen other women go the "Jada Pinkett Smith" route, and I think it's generally a beautiful compromise as you've pointed out.

I've also considered combining our last names into one new last name, since the combination would produce a more common sounding name anyway, but then both identities are lost.

Great point about the competing academic identities, as well!

[poco_puffs]

I really relate to this issue too... I took my husband's last name when we married but have since divorced. I had my first publication in a national journal in January, so I used my maiden name and am in the process of returning to that name in all ways (driver's license, bank, grad school, etc.). I really could not imagine publishing and working under somebody else's name.

I may eventually marry again (or maybe not!), but I think I'll not change my name again, probably for equal personal and professional reasons. As for the OP, I know no one enters a marriage thinking about the possibility of being post-marriage, but my advice is that a woman has to take care of herself, look at her own interests professionally, financially, personally, etc. And relationships can be happy whether you share the same last name or not. If you were to have children, they would be fine. I know many children who do not share one (or even either) of their parents' last names and they seem untraumatized.

Good luck with your decision!

Divorce has crossed my mind, in fact, but mostly because of family history. Though their marriage is intact, my parents both had previous marriages, so I've spoken with my mother about her experience in taking and changing names. Also, my older sister has had some unfortunate business with names after a divorce, since I'm pretty sure she felt forced to keep her ex-husbands name because of the identity she had established for herself as a professional woman.

At least half of my high school friends had divorced or remarried parents, and hyphenated names or names that differed from one or more siblings/parents were fairly common among my set. Some of them had mothers who had kept their maiden names for one reason or another, and beyond the initial confusion or curiosity, I don't think there was any deep-seated anxiety or anger about mothers keeping their maiden names.

Too bad the people who came up with the whole take-thy-husbands name convention didn't imagine a future where women would have their own identities and careers to consider.

[Bumblebee]

If I ever get married, I won't change my last names. In my country women keep their last names and the children take the father's first last name and the mother's first last name, so we all have two last names. I wouldn't want to change my name because that's who I am, that's my identity.

I've noticed having two last names causes some problems here. My students never now how to call me, since they get confused with my last names. And the fact that I always go by my middle name and not by my first name makes things even more complicated.

But, going back to the topic of the thread, besides my personal reasons for not wanting to change my name, I think it would make things a lot easier if a woman didn't change her maiden name. Specially if she has already published. If she changed her name, she would need to make sure that people identify both names with the same person. And she would have to deal with all the paperwork derived from the change. But that's just my personal opinion. Plus, I'm still not very familiar with US academia, so don't take my opinion very seriously.

[oldlady]

I kept my maiden name and I'm glad I did. Some people get confused, but it's less of an issue today because so many women keep their maiden names. When people refer to me as "Mrs. (husband's last name)", it doesn't bother me -- sometimes, people refer to him as "Mr. (my last name)"!

[poco_puffs]

I got sidetracked when writing reply #9 earlier:

The point of the first two paragraphs about divorce and all that is that in the last century, the last fifty years, the last twenty years etc there has been some accelerated change in terms of gender norms, family norms, professional norms and so on. "Fragmentation" has a negative ring to it, but I think that there IS a growing number of accepted ways of being as people are allowed to make choices and live their lives freely. What would have raised an eyebrow thirty years ago (The trends of hyphenation, keeping a maiden name, or any other variation) is not so shocking now, and I have no doubt that whatever choices we make with our names these days will eventually be looked upon as perfectly reasonable and not strange in the slightest.

[so47]

So, I didn't hyphenate. I kept my maiden name as a second middle name, as it were, and added my married name to the end, in (on paper) a seamlessly interwoven construction of my whole Self (think along the lines of Jada Pinkett Smith, for example). I think many women are doing this now as an alternative to the hyphenate, because it acknowledges the married relationship but also maintains the individual identity without subjugating it to the married one.

I have also been thinking about this a lot, and taking my maiden name as a middle name is my favorite of the options. But, I have been told by others that that type of name change is difficult, because it is more involved than the typical last name change. I was told that

A ) You have to pay as a legal name change instead of the free change they do when you get married and

B ) It gets complicated with legal things like Social Security and other financial records that may use a middle name or initial to help identify you.

So since you took this route yourself, do you have any input on what was hard or easy about this type of name change?

Edited May 10, 2010 by so47

[aginath]

I got married after graduating with my Master's and against the advice of many, I changed my name (First MInitial Maiden Married). It created a few issues early on. I went industry and had a foundation in academia that I was trying to build on and grow with. Four years later, I found myself facing divorce. Given the issues I experienced previously, I figured I'd just keep my married name. It wasn't long afterwards that I found myself experiencing a personal identity crisis. I was sitting with my father, uncle, and great uncle and realized I was the only one there without that name. I resolved then and there to change back, before going back to academia and issues be damned. I'll say now that I should've just gone back to begin with. A legal name change ran me about $400 when it was said and done. Cost aside, it was one of the best decisions I ever made. I felt more like me again and I was able to forge forward. Two years ago, I remarried. This time, I never thought twice about changing my name. He never expected it, nor asked me to. Occasionally we have issues where the relationship is questioned (usually financial). For that reason, we each carry a certified copy of our marriage license.

Edited May 10, 2010 by dacey

[biomed2010]

I have also been thinking about this a lot, and taking my maiden name as a middle name is my favorite of the options. But, I have been told by others that that type of name change is difficult, because it is more involved than the typical last name change. I was told that

A ) You have to pay as a legal name change instead of the free change they do when you get married and

B ) It gets complicated with legal things like Social Security and other financial records that may use a middle name or initial to help identify you.

So since you took this route yourself, do you have any input on what was hard or easy about this type of name change?

I kept my maiden name as my middle name so I could publish with it and I did not have any issues. I took a copy of my marriage certificate with me and was able to have everything changed over as the standard free of charge change they do when you get married. The only bit of trouble I had was one credit card company not changing it until I had two forms of ID with my new name. I liked this option best because my maiden name appears on publications but I don't have s long hyphenated name that gets chopped off on everything or causes confusion. I just drop it or use a middle initial when space doesn't permit or it isn't practical to use both.

[mmm35]

Somewhat off topic, but: I have the same last name as my future advisor (and he has the exact initials of my father). Hopefully that won't create any issues of people thinking we're related!

[xamurai]

I have also been thinking about this a lot, and taking my maiden name as a middle name is my favorite of the options. But, I have been told by others that that type of name change is difficult, because it is more involved than the typical last name change. I was told that

A ) You have to pay as a legal name change instead of the free change they do when you get married and

B ) It gets complicated with legal things like Social Security and other financial records that may use a middle name or initial to help identify you.

So since you took this route yourself, do you have any input on what was hard or easy about this type of name change?

I went through this recently when I married in April 2008. I went through a slightly more complicated name change because I have always gone by my middle name so I viewed getting married as my opportunity to legally change my first name as well. Thus, I went from "Alison Jada Pinkett" to "Jada Pinkett Smith". I definitely viewed it important to take my husband's name because I believe in a "family" name, but it also helped that his last name is also Latino so it goes well with my (now) first name. While I have presented at conference under the original name, since my CV and future presentations still include my original middle name and original last name, you can still track who I am. And I will continue to publish/present with my full name (first, maiden, and last).

I will tell you that since 2005 under the Bush administration, any name change that involves your first AND middle name involves a legal court order change of name. It's not as simple as just moving your names around and taking your husband's last name. I believe this was implemented in order to be able to track terrorists or suspect people in the event they start changing their names. It was a pain to change it and it wasn't cheap (about $350 in California plus the cost of any new documents), but for me, it was completely worth the hassle to finally have all my documents appear with a consistent name.

I did not find any difficulties in having other agencies like Social Security be able to identify me. Once you get the legal change court order, you go to SSA and request a new social security card. Once you have that, then the rest of the process is simple. You basically need that in order to start changing your passport, DL, etc. In the case of credit cards and other accounts like frequent flyer miles, I have often shown a copy of the court order. The important thing is that the document needs to reflect your original name and your current name, as well as some other identifying piece of information like your DOB.

[socialcomm]

I have also been thinking about this a lot, and taking my maiden name as a middle name is my favorite of the options. But, I have been told by others that that type of name change is difficult, because it is more involved than the typical last name change. I was told that

A ) You have to pay as a legal name change instead of the free change they do when you get married and

B ) It gets complicated with legal things like Social Security and other financial records that may use a middle name or initial to help identify you.

So since you took this route yourself, do you have any input on what was hard or easy about this type of name change?

I did First Middle Maiden Married (with Maiden as a second middle name) and I haven't had any issues. It didn't cost any more than it would have had I dropped my maiden name. There are times there isn't an extra space for my second middle name but it hasn't prevented me from doing anything or caused any confusion. I think it's becoming more common.

[Pamphilia]

If it's a really big deal for you for the whole family to share the same surname, your husband could either take your last name or you could create a new last name for both of you to take. I'm surprised that no one's suggested either one of these already. Will your husband be an academic? If not, it might be easier, professionally, for him to change his name since he won't be publishing.

[poco_puffs]

If it's a really big deal for you for the whole family to share the same surname, your husband could either take your last name or you could create a new last name for both of you to take. I'm surprised that no one's suggested either one of these already. Will your husband be an academic? If not, it might be easier, professionally, for him to change his name since he won't be publishing.

I had thought of combining the names, or both of us reverting back to a commonly held family name (not even sure if one exists). I think I suggested him taking my name at one point, and he didn't seem all that interested in the idea.

Another fun piece in the puzzle: Would I rather be known as Professor Bray (my maiden name) or Professor Cloo (his name, pronounced just like it looks)? That's more an issue of vanity than convenience, however. You also see why hyphenation would sound odd. Damned awkward monosyllabic surnames!

[Postbib Yeshuist]

Ask your husband to take your name (seriously).

Edited May 11, 2010 by Postbib Yeshuist

[oldlady]

I had thought of combining the names, or both of us reverting back to a commonly held family name (not even sure if one exists). I think I suggested him taking my name at one point, and he didn't seem all that interested in the idea.

Another fun piece in the puzzle: Would I rather be known as Professor Bray (my maiden name) or Professor Cloo (his name, pronounced just like it looks)? That's more an issue of vanity than convenience, however. You also see why hyphenation would sound odd. Damned awkward monosyllabic surnames!

What about Professor Poco-Puffs?

[poco_puffs]

What about Professor Poco-Puffs?

That will be my super-hero name.

[oldlady]

That will be my super-hero name.

I like it! Although it might also work for your stripper name (should you need a stripper name, that is)...

[poco_puffs]

I like it! Although it might also work for your stripper name (should you need a stripper name, that is)...

That'll only happen if teaching doesn't work out. Then it will be a dark and ironic reminder of my academic potential gone to waste.