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Posted (edited)

you guys are nuts. you're all panicking about what is the easiest part of grad school: getting in. not to say that getting in is easy (it isn't), but the rest is harder.

one girl in my program broke down sobbing and stopped eating for days when she thought she wasn't going to get a summer fellowship to do research abroad because other people in our department heard they had won the fellowships before she did. her parents were on the verge of flying out here to take care of her because, literally, she had stopped eating. and only maybe 2 days after others had learned they won fellowships, she found out that she had won 2 or 3 and would have more money than anyone to do summer research.

another colleague in my program was having panic attacks because, after being held up for a full year by her dissertation committee who wouldn't approve her dissertation proposal because some of the formatting in her footnotes was wrong (i shit you not), her advisor quit her and no one else would work with her. they believed that these delays to be her fault rather than her committee's (in truth: it was a little of both, but 75% committee politics and maybe 25% of a weak proposal). eventually, she scraped together a committee, and will finally be leaving to do her dissertation research after an 18-month delay.

yet another colleague has just had a baby and has no fellowship for his research year, which should be happening next year. he can't even make progress on his fellowship applications because his advisor will not certify that he has proficiency in his research language, despite taking several certification tests (and passing all of them) in that language. because she is the only person in our city that has the credentials to approve his language training, he's stuck until she's satisfied he can translate the language (he's damn near fluent in it, by the way, coming from other grad students who are native in that language). so, next year, he's faced with no fellowship, potentially being thrown out of the program for failing to meet the language requirement on time, AND he has a newborn to care for.

yet another new daddy is on the job market this year. he was on it last year and got a lot of interest but no campus visit invitations, so he added a chapter to his dissertation just so he'd have employment as a TA this year. it's better to spend 1 more year in grad school than 1 year outside of academia all together if you're looking for a job. getting that TAship was dependent on new students turning our school's offer down, so just getting that funding was a nightmare for him. now, his second year on the job market, he had only 2 top 10 interviews (less interest than his first year, when he had fewer publications and a less clear project). only one resulted in a campus visit, which he just completed today. last week he did a mock job talk in our department and was ripped apart by the faculty because it just... wasn't good. if he doesn't get this job, he will be unemployed next year, because there is no way to squeeze one last year of funding from our school. he will have his PhD in hand but have no job. and a baby. and a self-employed wife whose income ebbs and flows.

these are all the problems you'll face once you're actually IN graduate school. so... build your coping skills now by still having your life and your sanity as you wait until february for these acceptances to come in. professors and departments are very busy and adcoms don't meet as often as you all think they do. just because schools may be talking to people in january doesn't mean they won't actually meet and decide on admissions until mid-february. calm the eff down, people.

Edited by StrangeLight
Posted

I have to agree with StrangeLight. Grow a thick skin, try to be as mellow as you can. Stay busy so you're not checking your phones/e-mails/etc. While the situations she described are real, there are more stressful milestones in the graduate program. Right now I'm consoling a friend who has no relationship with her adviser (they just don't talk to each other) and is procrastinating on her dissertation prospectus. Imagine trying to write a dissertation when your committee isn't helping you at all. Imagine receiving a scathing feedback on your journal article and you just wonder if it's worth publishing it at all. Suddenly graduate admissions seem like a cakewalk and a little better for your ego and sanity.

As I've suggested, focus on your Plan B. If you have a job already, focus your energies on excelling it.

Posted

you guys are nuts. you're all panicking about what is the easiest part of grad school: getting in. not to say that getting in is easy (it isn't), but the rest is harder.

one girl in my program broke down sobbing and stopped eating for days when she thought she wasn't going to get a summer fellowship to do research abroad because other people in our department heard they had won the fellowships before she did. her parents were on the verge of flying out here to take care of her because, literally, she had stopped eating. and only maybe 2 days after others had learned they won fellowships, she found out that she had won 2 or 3 and would have more money than anyone to do summer research.

another colleague in my program was having panic attacks because, after being held up for a full year by her dissertation committee who wouldn't approve her dissertation proposal because some of the formatting in her footnotes was wrong (i shit you not), her advisor quit her and no one else would work with her. they believed that these delays to be her fault rather than her committee's (in truth: it was a little of both, but 75% committee politics and maybe 25% of a weak proposal). eventually, she scraped together a committee, and will finally be leaving to do her dissertation research after an 18-month delay.

yet another colleague has just had a baby and has no fellowship for his research year, which should be happening next year. he can't even make progress on his fellowship applications because his advisor will not certify that he has proficiency in his research language, despite taking several certification tests (and passing all of them) in that language. because she is the only person in our city that has the credentials to approve his language training, he's stuck until she's satisfied he can translate the language (he's damn near fluent in it, by the way, coming from other grad students who are native in that language). so, next year, he's faced with no fellowship, potentially being thrown out of the program for failing to meet the language requirement on time, AND he has a newborn to care for.

yet another new daddy is on the job market this year. he was on it last year and got a lot of interest but no campus visit invitations, so he added a chapter to his dissertation just so he'd have employment as a TA this year. it's better to spend 1 more year in grad school than 1 year outside of academia all together if you're looking for a job. getting that TAship was dependent on new students turning our school's offer down, so just getting that funding was a nightmare for him. now, his second year on the job market, he had only 2 top 10 interviews (less interest than his first year, when he had fewer publications and a less clear project). only one resulted in a campus visit, which he just completed today. last week he did a mock job talk in our department and was ripped apart by the faculty because it just... wasn't good. if he doesn't get this job, he will be unemployed next year, because there is no way to squeeze one last year of funding from our school. he will have his PhD in hand but have no job. and a baby. and a self-employed wife whose income ebbs and flows.

these are all the problems you'll face once you're actually IN graduate school. so... build your coping skills now by still having your life and your sanity as you wait until february for these acceptances to come in. professors and departments are very busy and adcoms don't meet as often as you all think they do. just because schools may be talking to people in january doesn't mean they won't actually meet and decide on admissions until mid-february. calm the eff down, people.

Right, like there isn't also stress in non-grad school work environments. The point is we all want this badly. Indeed many of us are trying to escape from working environments which make what you describe seem almost heavenly.

Posted (edited)

There is a whole heckuva lot of merit to what StrangeLight and TMP said. It's only going to get harder from here and we should be able to take this.That said, it is certainly true that this is a particularly stressful process for some of us, for a variety of reasons. Some folks have really rotten jobs (not me. my job is sweet. I show people apartments and read history books while I wait for washing machines to be delivered. although it's totally unresume-able :( ) and others are really anxious to get started with school. I know that I fall within the latter category, but more profoundly, there is a sense of validation/despondence that will be contingent on the outcome of this application season. At least in my case, I've finally found the career I want, and I just want to friggin do it already. I've put a crap-ton of work into my application and I would really like to know what people whom I admire thought of it. That's all. It's harrowing. But let's all try to be more stoic (especially my crazy-ass).

Edited by crazedandinfused
Posted

you guys are nuts. you're all panicking about what is the easiest part of grad school: getting in. not to say that getting in is easy (it isn't), but the rest is harder.

one girl in my program broke down sobbing and stopped eating for days when she thought she wasn't going to get a summer fellowship to do research abroad because other people in our department heard they had won the fellowships before she did. her parents were on the verge of flying out here to take care of her because, literally, she had stopped eating. and only maybe 2 days after others had learned they won fellowships, she found out that she had won 2 or 3 and would have more money than anyone to do summer research.

another colleague in my program was having panic attacks because, after being held up for a full year by her dissertation committee who wouldn't approve her dissertation proposal because some of the formatting in her footnotes was wrong (i shit you not), her advisor quit her and no one else would work with her. they believed that these delays to be her fault rather than her committee's (in truth: it was a little of both, but 75% committee politics and maybe 25% of a weak proposal). eventually, she scraped together a committee, and will finally be leaving to do her dissertation research after an 18-month delay.

yet another colleague has just had a baby and has no fellowship for his research year, which should be happening next year. he can't even make progress on his fellowship applications because his advisor will not certify that he has proficiency in his research language, despite taking several certification tests (and passing all of them) in that language. because she is the only person in our city that has the credentials to approve his language training, he's stuck until she's satisfied he can translate the language (he's damn near fluent in it, by the way, coming from other grad students who are native in that language). so, next year, he's faced with no fellowship, potentially being thrown out of the program for failing to meet the language requirement on time, AND he has a newborn to care for.

yet another new daddy is on the job market this year. he was on it last year and got a lot of interest but no campus visit invitations, so he added a chapter to his dissertation just so he'd have employment as a TA this year. it's better to spend 1 more year in grad school than 1 year outside of academia all together if you're looking for a job. getting that TAship was dependent on new students turning our school's offer down, so just getting that funding was a nightmare for him. now, his second year on the job market, he had only 2 top 10 interviews (less interest than his first year, when he had fewer publications and a less clear project). only one resulted in a campus visit, which he just completed today. last week he did a mock job talk in our department and was ripped apart by the faculty because it just... wasn't good. if he doesn't get this job, he will be unemployed next year, because there is no way to squeeze one last year of funding from our school. he will have his PhD in hand but have no job. and a baby. and a self-employed wife whose income ebbs and flows.

these are all the problems you'll face once you're actually IN graduate school. so... build your coping skills now by still having your life and your sanity as you wait until february for these acceptances to come in. professors and departments are very busy and adcoms don't meet as often as you all think they do. just because schools may be talking to people in january doesn't mean they won't actually meet and decide on admissions until mid-february. calm the eff down, people.

Man where have you been? You are that calming (somewhat Jeremiah-live even) voice of reason. If it happens, it happens: if it doesn't it, doesn't.

Posted

Strange light, I can't say that I agree with you on this. That really sucks for those people you are talking about, but that doesn't make me any less anxious about the process. That guy with the newborn is not something that happens to everyone, panic attacks don't happen to everyone. I can certainly feel for the guy that can't find a job, though, but he has a better chance of finding a job in academia than me right now. Getting a phd is something most of us have dreamed of getting because most of us want to be taken riotously in academia, want to teach at a university level, or do research. With a ba and a ma, I can only present at conferences and be humored, but I can't be on a committee concerning international relations, I can't be a department head to try to improve a history department, or I can't be considered an expert.

For some of us, this is our life. This is what determines what we do with our lives. For some of us, if we don't get in, then we will be lost and really freaking out because this is what we have been working for in the past four plus years. Unlike some people who chose to go into business world, got screwed, and are now running into the academic world into history departments and claiming they want to study "the history of us economics" or "French economics" and sound so interesting that these schools eat it up and accept them even though afterwards they have no intention of doing research or teaching, some of us REALLY need this.

I'll thank you to not take the absolute worst case scenarios and try to deter me from taking this seriously, being diligent, and anxious. Being anxious is the reason why my application is complete (because despite the fact that I was so sure everything was sent it, my anxiousness made me call in to check and then resend). Hindsight is 20/20. Its so easy to tell us to chill the eff out while already enrolled in a program.

Posted (edited)

For some of us, this is our life. This is what determines what we do with our lives. For some of us, if we don't get in, then we will be lost and really freaking out because this is what we have been working for in the past four plus years. Unlike some people who chose to go into business world, got screwed, and are now running into the academic world into history departments and claiming they want to study "the history of us economics" or "French economics" and sound so interesting that these schools eat it up and accept them even though afterwards they have no intention of doing research or teaching, some of us REALLY need this.

I second this portion of the post because I'm really 'effin determined. But I do suspect that investing all of our happiness and fulfillment in the outcome of this process may not be a sound approach. And for those who don't get in, there is always next year - and the year after that.

Edited by crazedandinfused
Posted (edited)

Its so easy to tell us to chill the eff out while already enrolled in a program.

CHIME.

Your whole response is exactly what I felt, but didn't have the time to put it all into words. (I'm at work and there's no need for me to try and excel. I already have, but this place doesn't deserve the care I take and put into my work. Like crazed said, some people have rotten jobs.)

Edit:

I second this portion of the post. But I do suspect that investing all of our happiness and fulfillment in the outcome of this process may not be a sound approach. And for those who don't get in there is always next year - and the year after that.

Again, agreed. This is my second year. The end of last cycle was pretty sucky, so I know what to expect if I get my hopes up. However, I don't care. I really just want an answer so I know if I can be happy for the next few months, or really upset for a week.

Edited by Kelkel
Posted (edited)

Yes, they are delightful. :D

But honestly, I am nervous for myself and everyone. The whole purpose of this place is to post results and gauge our chances of what will follow for us. I want y'all to get news, just as much as I want it for myself.

One of my conversations with someone last year was pretty much, "So did you get any mail today?" "Nope, nothing, what about you?"

It's have the fun (which is also very anxiety-ridden).

Edited by Kelkel
Posted

I'm not trying to start a fight. But we're all working hard for this and we don't need a post like that telling us we're a buch of "nuts"

But aren't we? Just a little bit? I mean, it's not even February

Posted

But aren't we? Just a little bit? I mean, it's not even February

If we're just a little bit nuts, then that means most of the people on this website are too. I saw this in the Lit, Rhet and Comp forum. It's just truly the nature of this website to see results being posted and then want some for yourself. So unless you are able to completely forget about this place completely, you'll be a little nuts for a while longer.

Or you can just think it's normal and laugh at stuff like the drinking game, because you know it's true.

Posted

Well put. We are all nuts. And yea, we're freaking out in January. But like some said before, that is what this forum is for and to help us through the process. But it doesn't have to be a terrible thing or just because we are going nuts about it doesn't mean we should be labeled as a bunch of pansies for being nuts over admission decisions.

Posted (edited)

But it doesn't have to be a terrible thing or just because we are going nuts about it doesn't mean we should be labeled as a bunch of pansies for being nuts over admission decisions.

True. But I think the point of StrangeLight's post was that if we think this is stressful, it's gonna be a whole lot worse when we are going through the various hoops attendant to graduate study. At the same time, SL should keep in mind that some of us (myself) will be more confident once we are in the system than we are during the process of trying to hack our way in to it. In other words, easiness is subjective.

But I'm sure that will change and that there will always be something stressing me out. That's why Buddha invented wine.

Oh, and condolences to whoever got rejected at Louisiana State! :(

Edited by crazedandinfused
Posted

As someone who has been around the block in life a few times, I will say this -- it is absolutely a good idea to keep things in perspective. With that said, different situations cause different kinds of stress. It's perfectly natural to be anxious when in the middle of a series of potentially life-changing situations. When one is confronted by the prospect of moving to New England, the South, the West Coast, and all points in between -- or nowhere -- there is bound to be some stress. This is not the equivalent of the stress that one encounters in other types of situations, but there is no point in marginalizing or ignoring where you are at now at this time. I have experienced anxiety and stress in undergraduate classrooms, corporate boardrooms, graduate school, and many other places as well. I'd prefer -- of course -- to live a stress free existence, but I haven't figured that out yet. I just keep in mind that this, too, will pass and I'll enter a new situation one way or the other and have to find a way to manage THAT as gracefully and with as much panache as possible.

Obviously, someone will always have it worse than me, but that doesn't mean that I don't feel what I feel. I'm trying to keep it in perspective here, but I'm also fully aware that I'm in a perfectly natural state of mind right now...!

Best to all.

Posted

As someone who has been around the block in life a few times, I will say this -- it is absolutely a good idea to keep things in perspective. With that said, different situations cause different kinds of stress. It's perfectly natural to be anxious when in the middle of a series of potentially life-changing situations. When one is confronted by the prospect of moving to New England, the South, the West Coast, and all points in between -- or nowhere -- there is bound to be some stress. This is not the equivalent of the stress that one encounters in other types of situations, but there is no point in marginalizing or ignoring where you are at now at this time. I have experienced anxiety and stress in undergraduate classrooms, corporate boardrooms, graduate school, and many other places as well. I'd prefer -- of course -- to live a stress free existence, but I haven't figured that out yet. I just keep in mind that this, too, will pass and I'll enter a new situation one way or the other and have to find a way to manage THAT as gracefully and with as much panache as possible.

Obviously, someone will always have it worse than me, but that doesn't mean that I don't feel what I feel. I'm trying to keep it in perspective here, but I'm also fully aware that I'm in a perfectly natural state of mind right now...!

Best to all.

THAT is what I was trying to say when I said that there was reason Buddha invented wine :)

Posted (edited)

I'm never going to apologize for my feelings and I certainly do not need them validated by a total stranger. I am very nervous about getting into a program, because I have a lot riding on it- including the future of providing for my wife and 1 yr old child. This forum provides a great release for that anxiety for me and others in a very similar position. Already being in grad school hardly qualifies one to sit in judgment of how would-be grad students choose to cope with what is a stressful two months for all of us. I also disagree with any assessment that ranting on a message board reflects negatively on one's coping skills or one's ability to handle the so-called "real" rigors of grad life beyond admission.

Finally, I am not some 23 year old that needs to be lectured on the proper use of an internet forum or on how to manage stress (no offense to 23 yr olds). I have accomplished plenty in life, including attaining success in another field that required a graduate degree...I find it a little hubristic to purport to chastise others for what amounts to a rather proportionate expression of angst and fear at a truly pivotal moment in thier lives.

Having said all of that, it is not my intention to start some extended forum-fued with one of the more consistent contributors to a forum that has provided very sound advice and comfort to me over the past six months, but I do feel compelled to respond in kind.

Regards...

Edited by ADMITedlyLucky
Posted

THAT is what I was trying to say when I said that there was reason Buddha invented wine :)

I'm drinking a glass right now. Amen. ;)

Posted

Okay, puppy update. We are allowed to have her! Yay! I just talked to the lady and everything is set. :D

Smile everyone, we will get through it all- no matter what happens. Remember, it all happens for a reason.

Posted

Okay, puppy update. We are allowed to have her! Yay! I just talked to the lady and everything is set. :D

Smile everyone, we will get through it all- no matter what happens. Remember, it all happens for a reason.

I suggest for naming purposes either you go with acceptance, grad cafe, SOP or POI. Throwing those out there now!

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