0% Confidence of Acceptance

[t1racyjacks]

I'm happy for the other people I just wish they would send out the rejections so that I can get this whole shitty affair over with...

[bfat]

Yeah seeing people with four or five awesome acceptances kinda makes me want to jump off a bridge. Not that I'm not happy for them--it just kinda drives home my own failure even more.

[thatjewishgirl]

Yeah seeing people with four or five awesome acceptances kinda makes me want to jump off a bridge. Not that I'm not happy for them--it just kinda drives home my own failure even more.

 

I feel the same way. Meanwhile, all my lovely friends at work keep telling me I'm wonderful and I'll get in somewhere because, well, I have to! And when I tell them that that isn't necessarily true and I need to come to terms with that, they get on to me for being negative.

[t1racyjacks]

at least I don't have that. my LOR writers know how hard it is for us in Asian unis trying for English especially (not even comp lit). I don't even wanna jump off a bridge. I just want to hide somewhere and never appear. I haven't gone out for days and my friend is dragging me out tonight because he's said he's had enough of my moping. I'm sorta dreading it tbh but I'm going with what he says cuz it's probably good for me

[thestage]

most people who get in to one place get in to several, that's how it works.  if your profile looks good to one group of English professors, it's probably going to look good to another group of English professors just the same.

 

it is when these people then bitch about not getting in to even more schools, which is nearly as inevitable as their acceptances were to begin with, that we have grounds for whatever negative emotion you would like grounds for.

[thatjewishgirl]

Tracy, I'm sorry you are struggling! So many of us are with you--we get it. My husband thinks that I have been so resolutely rejected because my research is almost solely religion and literature, and he wonders if it isn't a bit controversial for many departments. I've seen a few programs that have quite a few Asian students--will you be applying again to different kinds of programs next year?

[thatjewishgirl]

most people who get in to one place get in to several, that's how it works.  if your profile looks good to one group of English professors, it's probably going to look good to another group of English professors just the same.

 

it is when these people then bitch about not getting in to even more schools, which is nearly as inevitable as their acceptances were to begin with, that we have grounds for whatever negative emotion you would like grounds for.

 

Good point.

[t1racyjacks]

no, not the race the nationality I was about to apply to comp lit because my LOR writers say people from my uni generally have no chance at competing for top English programs. But a POI was real supportive and wanted me to try for English -- that's done now though 

 

I suppose next year I'll try for comp lit

[thatjewishgirl]

no, not the race the nationality I was about to apply to comp lit because my LOR writers say people from my uni generally have no chance at competing for top English programs. But a POI was real supportive and wanted me to try for English -- that's done now though 

 

I suppose next year I'll try for comp lit

 

I know what you meant, and I meant the same. I'm glad you have so many people supporting your applications.

[t1racyjacks]

I know what you meant, and I meant the same. I'm glad you have so many people supporting your applications.

thanks. here's to hoping this season will be over soon. sigh

[Theresa8710]

Tracy, I feel for you; I'm also Asian, and from an Asian uni as well. When writing up a list of Grad schools I wanted to apply to, one of my LOR writers kept telling me that I should apply only to the top English programs, so I have-- with crushing results so far.

 

But I personally blame my application, which I think would have benefited from some feedback;

nobody around me was willing to read my WS of 20-ish pages without getting paid a handsome sum,

so I had little feedback as to how to improve it (Same thing for my poor SOP...).  

 

Didn't know about grad cafe when I was applying-- a pity 

[cbttcher]

Okay... After seeing the results board, I'm going to sit in a corner and cry...

[t1racyjacks]

Tracy, I feel for you; I'm also Asian, and from an Asian uni as well. When writing up a list of Grad schools I wanted to apply to, one of my LOR writers kept telling me that I should apply only to the top English programs, so I have-- with crushing results so far.

 

But I personally blame my application, which I think would have benefited from some feedback;

nobody around me was willing to read my WS of 20-ish pages without getting paid a handsome sum,

so I had little feedback as to how to improve it (Same thing for my poor SOP...).  

 

Didn't know about grad cafe when I was applying-- a pity 

my application was approved by a POI at one of my top choices -- so I'm doubly crushed. I think that your faculty will read it for you; try? where are you from??

[InHacSpeVivo]

Yeah seeing people with four or five awesome acceptances kinda makes me want to jump off a bridge. Not that I'm not happy for them--it just kinda drives home my own failure even more.

I'm out f up votes, but I'm totally feeling you here. I am really happy for everyone because I know how hard we all worked, but I'd be lying if I said it doesn't sting a little when I see someone with four or five acceptances get in somewhere I applied only for me to resign myself to receiving the rejection whenever the adcomms get around to it.

most people who get in to one place get in to several, that's how it works.  if your profile looks good to one group of English professors, it's probably going to look good to another group of English professors just the same.   it is when these people then bitch about not getting in to even more schools, which is nearly as inevitable as their acceptances were to begin with, that we have grounds for whatever negative emotion you would like grounds for.

Again, out of up votes, but I am so glad you said this! I'm really wondering what the magic formula is because clearly it's not exclusively fit (there's no way one person can be a perfect fit for 8-10 programs and others apply to 15-20 places with 0 acceptances, even if GREs and GPA are middle of the road). I really hope I can figure it out if/when I need to reapply.

[practical cat]

Today was brutal but I don't think any of us are officially all out yet and we don't know what the adcomms are up to until they tell us. Let's all be kind to ourselves this weekend. Deal?

[chaucerettescs]

I feel the same way. Meanwhile, all my lovely friends at work keep telling me I'm wonderful and I'll get in somewhere because, well, I have to! And when I tell them that that isn't necessarily true and I need to come to terms with that, they get on to me for being negative.

 

This sounds exactly like my best friend. She had her heart set on me getting in to either UNC or Duke (she now she lives in NC) and did not understand why I was so stressed no matter how many times I tried to explain the process to her. "~Oh, you'll get in~"

[The Whistler]

Hey guys, joining the pity party. I guess that's going to be a "no" from Minnesota as well, didn't get anything yet.

 

Two more of my schools haven't notified, and they're... Wait for it... Wait for it... COLUMBIA and UPENN. I don't know whether to laugh or to cry. I should probably start crying right now, and get it over with.

 

The worst part is that I really, really did search for fit. I didn't apply because these schools were top 20 or whatever they are. I just looked for professors whose work I've come across before and thought of as interesting, and they happened to be at all these top places. I mean, there's no way I'm not going to apply to Northwestern and UPenn again this year, after I get rejected from all the schools in the universe. Especially UPenn. Perfect POIs at these two places. Of course, at Columbia as well, but I won't be so naive again, and think they'd actually accept me.

 

This is so unbelievably frustrating.

[Two Espressos]

Yeah seeing people with four or five awesome acceptances kinda makes me want to jump off a bridge. Not that I'm not happy for them--it just kinda drives home my own failure even more.

 

Yeah, this is me 100%.  And I'm mostly over the fact I'm going to be rejected everywhere!

 

most people who get in to one place get in to several, that's how it works.  if your profile looks good to one group of English professors, it's probably going to look good to another group of English professors just the same.

 

it is when these people then bitch about not getting in to even more schools, which is nearly as inevitable as their acceptances were to begin with, that we have grounds for whatever negative emotion you would like grounds for.

 

Yeah, I thought I'd be competitive for top-20 programs, partially because my professors urged me to apply to these places and partially because I didn't know what the hell I was doing (even after two years of research... I suck), but apparently I seriously need to reevaluate my credentials.  I have failed miserably and stupendously this year.

[Troppman]

Yeah, this is me 100%.  And I'm mostly over the fact I'm going to be rejected everywhere!

 

 

Yeah, I thought I'd be competitive for top-20 programs, partially because my professors urged me to apply to these places and partially because I didn't know what the hell I was doing (even after two years of research... I suck), but apparently I seriously need to reevaluate my credentials.  I have failed miserably and stupendously this year.

 

I write this only to affirm your disposition and the absurdity of the situation: Go to the most prestigious conference in your field. Meet grad students from top-tier fully funded programs. Talk to them. Realize how much more they know about the just kidding... Realize that they are, ten times out of ten, not actually more knowledgable than you are (given the shared topic(s) of inquiry). Suffocate with angst when watching others treat these prized students with such dignity and reverence. Hear a point that you made in an undergraduate writing assignment articulated by one of these students in a presentation at said conference. Watch as editors of an esteemed journal invite this student to submit his or her piece. That feeling when your advisor tells you that you need to be like that student. 

Seriously, I would wager that many of us know this feeling from at least one side of the dynamic (if we are mindful and honest enough). I've been in classes where some student will say more or less what I would have said, but the teacher tells said student that they are wrong and immediately asks me for the better answer--which is basically identical to the 'wrong' answer proffered yet stylistically packaged differently. It is all about the ineffable it that you either are or aren't (given that on paper you look decent enough). Although I haven't 'struck out' this season, if I were to need a round two I would do these things differently: 1) Not ask my professors for feedback on writing samples and SOP drafts. Or, i'de ask professors who are in a better position to judge such things. (this might differ for others, but I am currently in a field that is not the field I want to be in. I think that with the best intentions, I received some really bad feedback and followed it this year).   2) Not care so much. It is completely not-sexy to care. 3) Affirm the status quo.

Edited February 16, 2013 by StephanieDelacour

[Magical Realist]

I already applied . Only one professor was willing to read it; his comment was that it was "OK" but he thought the novel I was writing about was not considered "serious literature" (it wasn't Twilight or Harry Potter by the way).

 

Did you press for more details about "okay," and specifically about the paper's argument and the prose style itself? It seems to me that most professors can still recognize strong writing, even when they disagree with the validity of the topic. If the prose and argument too are just "okay," that's a huge problem. You're applying to do this for the rest of your life more or less, so you'd better show promise. 

 

Also, did you consider the types of schools you're submitting to? There's definitely a cottage industry springing up around "bad" literature, and counter-cultural literature (I'm working on this currently, and also, my writing sample's texts weren't serious in their time, either). One professor I was speaking with even said "sometimes, bad literature makes the best papers." But, this kind of research is largely limited to a certain type of school. I wouldn't, for example, apply to Harvard or Yale as a top choice with this type of writing sample, but if my number one choice were Berkeley, UT Austin, UC Irvine, or NYU, that's a different story. They're all good schools, but with vastly different values and critical approaches.

Edited February 16, 2013 by Magical Realist

[InHacSpeVivo]

Hey guys, joining the pity party. I guess that's going to be a "no" from Minnesota as well, didn't get anything yet.   Two more of my schools haven't notified, and they're... Wait for it... Wait for it... COLUMBIA and UPENN. I don't know whether to laugh or to cry. I should probably start crying right now, and get it over with.   The worst part is that I really, really did search for fit. I didn't apply because these schools were top 20 or whatever they are. I just looked for professors whose work I've come across before and thought of as interesting, and they happened to be at all these top places. I mean, there's no way I'm not going to apply to Northwestern and UPenn again this year, after I get rejected from all the schools in the universe. Especially UPenn. Perfect POIs at these two places. Of course, at Columbia as well, but I won't be so naive again, and think they'd actually accept me.   This is so unbelievably frustrating.

Ditto. What's worse is that I really, truly thought I had a healthy combination of top tier programs (which I only kept because they were the best fits I could find in looking at, literally, hundreds of programs) and schools that aren't as highly ranked, but are a really good fit and have good placement records. I know I'm not out of it yet, but (not includingBrown) none of the schools I'm waiting to hear from guarantee funding, so even if I do get in it won't matter if I can't pay for it. Anyway, I know exactly how you feel.

[The Whistler]

Ditto. What's worse is that I really, truly thought I had a healthy combination of top tier programs (which I only kept because they were the best fits I could find in looking at, literally, hundreds of programs) and schools that aren't as highly ranked, but are a really good fit and have good placement records. I know I'm not out of it yet, but (not includingBrown) none of the schools I'm waiting to hear from guarantee funding, so even if I do get in it won't matter if I can't pay for it. Anyway, I know exactly how you feel.

 

I'm sorry anyone else has to feel this way.

 

I mean, basically, I still have 5 schools to hear from, it's just that three of those are assumed rejections. But the worst part is that, if I had to choose, I'd still choose at least three of the schools I applied to this year. Is that crazy? I mean, I really, REALLY want(ed) Northwestern, Penn or NYU. I know I'm not the only one, and there is probably a huge amount of applicants who are better than me, I just can't help it.

 

I have a feeling that I'll be applying to three schools for, like, five consecutive years. How pathetic is that? I'm 26 now, I'll be applying untill I'm 40.

 

EDIT - I don't actually think that 26 + 5 = 40, I just like to exaggerate things.

Edited February 16, 2013 by The Whistler

[thatjewishgirl]

I'm sorry anyone else has to feel this way.

 

I mean, basically, I still have 5 schools to hear from, it's just that three of those are assumed rejections. But the worst part is that, if I had to choose, I'd still choose at least three of the schools I applied to this year. Is that crazy? I mean, I really, REALLY want(ed) Northwestern, Penn or NYU. I know I'm not the only one, and there is probably a huge amount of applicants who are better than me, I just can't help it.

 

I have a feeling that I'll be applying to three schools for, like, five consecutive years. How pathetic is that? I'm 26 now, I'll be applying untill I'm 40.

 

EDIT - I don't actually think that 26 + 5 = 40, I just like to exaggerate things.

 

I'm 29 and dreading having to turn 30 with nothing to show for my 20s... I'm with ya!

[InHacSpeVivo]

I'm sorry anyone else has to feel this way.

I mean, basically, I still have 5 schools to hear from, it's just that three of those are assumed rejections. But the worst part is that, if I had to choose, I'd still choose at least three of the schools I applied to this year. Is that crazy? I mean, I really, REALLY want(ed) Northwestern, Penn or NYU. I know I'm not the only one, and there is probably a huge amount of applicants who are better than me, I just can't help it.

I have a feeling that I'll be applying to three schools for, like, five consecutive years. How pathetic is that? I'm 26 now, I'll be applying untill I'm 40.

EDIT - I don't actually think that 26 + 5 = 40, I just like to exaggerate things.

Haha... I'm the same way, no worries! If it makes you feel any better I just turned 30 so I'll probably be 50 before I graduate from a program (assuming someone eventually takes pity on me and lets me in).

Hey, thatjewishgirl, at least you know you can survive your 30s even if you have nothing to show for your 20s! I have a (apparently useless) MA, but it doesn't seem to be helping me any...

Edited February 16, 2013 by Pericles II.ii.48

[The Whistler]

I'm 29 and dreading having to turn 30 with nothing to show for my 20s... I'm with ya!

 

Awh, I'm sure there's something to show. I mean, even getting to applying means you did well up till now, it's just that everything is a black pit of desperation and self-pity while we're waiting.

 

I actually have a job that I like, but the problem is that there's something I like even more (much, much more), and I'm not getting it. Therefore, I also feel like I've done nothing. At all. Ever.

 

Haha... I'm the same way, no worries! If it makes you feel any better I just turned 30 so I'll probably be 50 before I graduate from a program (assuming someone eventually takes pity on me and let's me in).

 

Someone taking pity actually sounds like a great plan for me. Might work better than the application I submitted.

 

That said, I used the word "pity" far too many times in my last two posts. I need a drink.