The psychological joys of applying to grad school

[coffeeplease]

I had a dream the other night that my alma mater called me up and offered me a position as a masters student, which I accepted on the spot. I moved there and was homeless and looking for a place to live, and still had to give notice at my job (or maybe I was trying to do both at once), when I realized I'd never asked them if it was a funded offer. This led to much panicking before I woke up.

Of course, the dream in question is impossible for several reasons. I didn't apply to my alma mater even though I'd LOVE to go there again, because they don't accept applicants to my appropriate program without computer programming experience. Also, I'm applying to doctoral programs, and I don't know that I'd accept a masters offer, even from there. And, I've told myself that I will not accept an unfunded offer.

But it was still an unsettling dream.

Ha, I dreamed that my alma mater called me up to tell me that I was actually a few credits short of graduating and that I would have to return to campus in the fall to finish my BA. I had this dream for like 6 months a few years ago, as there was a semester-long gap between finishing my coursework and actually receiving my diploma, but this time there was the added humiliation of having to call up all of the schools I applied to, explain the situation and ask if they would still consider my application.

Even sadder, this was not my first grad school-related dream.

Edited January 19, 2012 by coffeeplease

[wannabeaphd]

@ coffeeplease -- I actually had a dream that I had to go back to HIGH SCHOOL because I was a few credits short... the worst part is that I had this same dream when I was applying to MA programs like 4 years ago!

[PhDreams]

I thought break would finally give me a chance to relax... not much luck yet :\ Sleep? Yes. But the waking hours are filled with obsessive message boarding.

I wanted to start a new thread about this, but I don't know where to put it, so I'll ask here:

Do senior year grades matter? Because I really don't know how I'm supposed to maintain my GPA with all of this application stress, and 4-day interview weekends! I know my GPA is probably going to dip a little after this semester... will schools care?

Gosh, I hope not. Last semester was not kind to my grades.

I've become addicted to thegradcafe.com. Seriously, I obsessively check posts possibly to distract myself while maintaining my last bits of sanity. Also, I'm not living in the present. I can't stop thinking about the future, which means I'm missing out on things that are going on around me. It's not good

Oh, litjust. Me too! We just need to get through the next month or so...

[kriskros]

Hi All! I've never posted before, but the stress of application season is really getting to me. I think I've started driving my friends and family insane by talking about it, so I decided to come here and talk to like minded people! I had a dream that I was in a vegas style casino and all of the graduate schools were posting the names of the people they accepted on a giant score board (like the ones for horse races). I kept looking and looking and my name wasn't on any of them! When I woke up I was so upset. Then I realized it was still February, and I won't find out anything for another month at least!

[kriskros]

@ coffeeplease -- I actually had a dream that I had to go back to HIGH SCHOOL because I was a few credits short... the worst part is that I had this same dream when I was applying to MA programs like 4 years ago!

I used to have those dreams all the time! Especially right before I graduated undergrad a few years ago. Thankfully they haven't started up again since applying to grad school!

[Michelleelleh]

I can't sleep I lie there and think about all the possible outcomes.

[fernandopizza]

I've been experiencing high fevers... Maybe related to extreme e-mail checking and spam diving...

I'm starting to consider that I might be actually sick...

[cunninlynguist]

I find myself going to bed earlier than usual, in a futile effort to get the next day started. Why bother? Last night I also had a dream, tacitly informing me that application season had passed and nothing had changed. I was back at my summer job and looking at a massive schedule that seemed to never end, and my bosses were indignant that I wanted time off. It seemed that anything less than eternal servitude was unacceptable.

fernandopizza: Hope it's nothing serious, but don't take any risks with your health. Go to a doctor if the fever persists (especially if it's a high fever).

Edited February 3, 2012 by cunninlynguist

[crazygirl2012]

All of the above! I recently had a dream that I drove all the way to one interview (6 hours) and realized I hadn't brought a suitcase and didn't have any clothes appropriate for an interview. Last night, the dream was that I forgot how to comprehend language during a phone interview.

In September, I started keeping a list of things I learned throughout the application process, so that no matter how it turned out, I would remember that it was worthwhile. I am happy to say that it's working out well for me, and I'm so glad I made that list. I swear this process is some sort of hazing ritual for grad school, but it has taught me a lot.

[abc123xtc]

I'm not having nightmares, but I'm having a much harder time getting enough sleep and/or sleeping through the night.

[cokohlik]

Right now the scariest thing about the whole waiting game for me is the fear that all I will hear is silence. No invites, no acceptances or rejections or waitlists. Just a never-ending silence.

Exactly...

[Clou12]

When I am Googling all I can about my POIs or when I check my status for the umpteenth time at an ungodly hour. I have a moment where I say to myself.

"So this is what is like to be a stalker"

And apparently, I am pretty good at it. Which scares me!

[bythesea]

In September, I started keeping a list of things I learned throughout the application process, so that no matter how it turned out, I would remember that it was worthwhile.

Crazygirl2012, that is a brilliant idea. You should start a new topic; wait, there already is one in some upside-down way, 'things I wish I had known', or something like that. But the way you do it is so positive - I'm going to start my own list, because, it's true, I've learned a lot since June, and have grown in many ways, whether admitted this year or not. Thank you

[Another Sisyphus]

I learned a lot about the application process as well and even a good deal about the subject I hope to study. However, since submitting all of my applications, and having spent most every spare moment of the last several months preparing for them in one way or another, I may have forgotten how to enjoy free time. When I'm not working I'm usually thinking of the most productive ways to invest my time, and then I consider writing essays that I could submit as writing samples to various schools and departments for next application season. It appears I'm stuck in productivity mode.

[crazygirl2012]

Crazygirl2012, that is a brilliant idea. You should start a new topic; wait, there already is one in some upside-down way, 'things I wish I had known', or something like that. But the way you do it is so positive - I'm going to start my own list, because, it's true, I've learned a lot since June, and have grown in many ways, whether admitted this year or not. Thank you

Thank you! I hope that making the list is as rewarding for you as it has been for me. I think I will go ahead and start a new topic on this!

Edit: Posted. It's in the Waiting it Out forum and the topic is called, "What has the application process taught you about life?".

Edited February 4, 2012 by crazygirl2012

[bythesea]

Posted. It's in the Waiting it Out forum and the topic is called, "What has the application process taught you about life?".

oooh, great! -going there now....

[bythesea]

I may have forgotten how to enjoy free time. When I'm not working I'm usually thinking of the most productive ways to invest my time, and then I consider writing essays that I could submit as writing samples to various schools and departments for next application season.

AnotherSis, maybe you've just found a different way to enjoy your free time?