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Acceptance etiquette and questions


Emma Maroon

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Got my first two acceptances this week! Candler and PTS. Very exciting.

But I have a question and a problem. Princeton tells me that I have to respond by February 20th with my answer. The thing is, I'm still waiting on news from three other schools that won't tell me until mid-March. Don't get me wrong - I love Princeton and would love to attend. But I'd like to make an informed decision with all my school results, including financial aid, laid out in front of me. (Isn't there something about an official "Graduate School" date of April 15?)

It seems so rude to ask Princeton for more time so that I can consider other schools, but it doesn't seem fair for them to demand an answer so soon, when I can't possibly know what school is the best place for me and my budget.

What's the best way to handle this?

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Got my first two acceptances this week! Candler and PTS. Very exciting.

But I have a question and a problem. Princeton tells me that I have to respond by February 20th with my answer. The thing is, I'm still waiting on news from three other schools that won't tell me until mid-March. Don't get me wrong - I love Princeton and would love to attend. But I'd like to make an informed decision with all my school results, including financial aid, laid out in front of me. (Isn't there something about an official "Graduate School" date of April 15?)

It seems so rude to ask Princeton for more time so that I can consider other schools, but it doesn't seem fair for them to demand an answer so soon, when I can't possibly know what school is the best place for me and my budget.

What's the best way to handle this?

This is the only time in your entire graduate career where you are in control. They cannot force you to make a decision prior to the April 15th deadline, though they may try or make it sound as though you have no choice. I would inform them politely that while PTS' offer is attractive, that you want to make an informed decision (as you said) and this requires waiting on all your application responses to come back. They are, by virtue of being in the little agreement amongst all the graduate schools, not allowed to renege your offer for doing so.

Good luck and congrats on such a strong start to the decision season!

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This is the only time in your entire graduate career where you are in control. They cannot force you to make a decision prior to the April 15th deadline, though they may try or make it sound as though you have no choice.

My understanding has always been that the April 15 CGS Resolution applies only to offers with funding...

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I also just got accepted to PTS and have until the February 20 deadline. I also share your dilemma. I have also already been admitted to Duke Div., and have until next week to respond with a yes or no. Duke has said that they will withdraw my app. if I don't mail in the deposit. So, I am just going to do that and hope I get funding from Duke AND PTS. :)

Also, drechie, I don't think PTS will let admitted students know about scholarships until at least March 1 (at least that is the case with the scholarships covering full tuition).

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Yeah, here's the deal. They told me that I am "eligible" for 80% of tuition, based on need. I'm assuming that once I fill out my FAFSA (still waiting for tax forms), that it'll be confirmed.

I'm worried that I'll forfeit some of my financial aid if I wait to let them know about a decision. But also, RyanD, I found the same thing on the website - no info on merit scholarships/stipend stuff until March. How can I make an informed decision in February if I don't even know how much money they'll give me in March?

I don't want to just "tell" them that I can't accept yet, because I don't want to risk losing funding. Should I call and ask? E-mail?

And I'm also frustrated that a school can put prospectives in this very awkward situation. They give a lot of lip service to the "discernment process" and how they want us to make the choice that God is calling us to make, but then they throw stuff like this at us. Unpleasant.

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Yeah, here's the deal. They told me that I am "eligible" for 80% of tuition, based on need. I'm assuming that once I fill out my FAFSA (still waiting for tax forms), that it'll be confirmed.

I'm worried that I'll forfeit some of my financial aid if I wait to let them know about a decision. But also, RyanD, I found the same thing on the website - no info on merit scholarships/stipend stuff until March. How can I make an informed decision in February if I don't even know how much money they'll give me in March?

I don't want to just "tell" them that I can't accept yet, because I don't want to risk losing funding. Should I call and ask? E-mail?

And I'm also frustrated that a school can put prospectives in this very awkward situation. They give a lot of lip service to the "discernment process" and how they want us to make the choice that God is calling us to make, but then they throw stuff like this at us. Unpleasant.

That is an awkward situation. Is there anyone there with whom you can talk? Any current students or professors you know well enough to discuss this?

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Call the admissions dept. and tell them your concerns. I'm sure it is fairly common for admitted students to do this, right?? I remember I called several schools and asked similar questions.

Anyways, congrats on the acceptance!!

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It's fairly common for schools to extend their deadlines for people in your situation. Harvard did for me, and they were the least flexible school I dealt with when I applied. I, for one, would hardly blame you for accepting now, and if you are offered something better, rescinding your acceptance later. Normally I would think it very unprofessional (probably immoral), but they are creating a situation which I think probably everyone here would agree is unreasonable. You may write something to the effect of "I accept, contingent upon the disclosure of an agreeable offer of aid," which would put the ball back in their court, and allow you an out in the event you find their offer less agreeable than another school's.

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It seems like PTS has the best value in terms of cost. Is it considered a highly regarded seminary and divinity school? How would anyone choose another over PTS?

Don't get me wrong! I would love to go to Princeton. They're definitely absolutely super great. I was leaning pretty strongly towards them as soon as I had a chance to visit. Love it. But I've put a lot of money into applications for a lot of schools, and I don't want to waste that money by jumping on the first YES that gets tossed my way. It's pretty probable that I'll end up at Princeton. But just not yet.

jdmhotness, I guess that that's what I'll do. I hate to call a great school that I want to go to and tell them that I need an extension... it keeps feeling like a moment from Downton Abbey where Mary holds on her answer for William until she knows if he has the inheritence yet. I know that picking a school isn't like picking a dude. But I still feel queezy. Guess I'll bite the bullet and make the call.

Congrats, RyanD! Maybe I'll meet you at PTS in the fall! :-)

Drechie, I've been offered tuition funding based on need, but no merit information yet. Princeton is by far one of the least expensive div schools, without funding, and apparently pretty generous. I graduated with a 3.95 GPA but from what I've heard, Princeton is more concerned with references and a statement of purpose than GPA. But I really don't know much. Best of luck applying! Fun times!

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