The first rejection (and the emotions that follow)

[Clou12]

In hopes to get-in somewhere, I ended up applying to 15 schools. I feel like I binged on too much cake, the kind with lots of thick, clumpy icing; and now that the frenzy is over, I'm stuck with a bad taste in my mouth and heaviness in my gut (not to mention one very-drained bank account). I haven't heard one word; but there's been many acceptances with full-funding posted within the last few days for two of my top schools. I feel the rejections coming on. It makes me regret. I know that I'm getting ahead of myself, there's a lot more chances to go . . . but the once shining, hopeful "what if" has turned into a pensive, depressing, "what if not." What if I'm not good enough? Ouch. A year ago when I decided to do this, I didn't realize how agonizing the waiting and the rejections would be. Knew it would be rough, but not this rough. Typically I am the type of person who'd just busy myself with formulating Plan B and Plan C and Plan D.... But as of now, my stomach hurts too much. Anyone got an antacid?

That "what if not" feeling I totally understand. I just got off the phone with my friend talking about this process and I actually started to cry! I haven't even been rejected yet! I did not anticipate the wait would make me a nervous wreck! I have had stomach issues, insomnia and mood swings. I feel like this waiting process is hazing or an initiation.

It didn't help that my friend ended the phone call and said, "Send me your resume." I am not ready for Plan B already!

[habanero]

I got rejected from another school. At this point, the offer Illinois gave me is beginning to seem appealing.

[PhDreams]

I have had stomach issues, insomnia and mood swings. I feel like this waiting process is hazing or an initiation.

UGHHHHHHH..... me tooooooooo.

Big GIANT hugs! It'll be over soon... I hate the not knowing. It's just torture.

I got rejected from another school. At this point, the offer Illinois gave me is beginning to seem appealing.

****HUGS!!!!****

[PhDreams]

Received my first rejection today. I'm trying really hard not to catastrophize the situation, but I can't help questioning what if this is a sign of what's to come? What if I get across the board rejections?? What if I make it to short list for other programs but fail to make it to the short short list?! At this point, I can even fantom a plan B because it makes me too depressed.

HUGS! You are too awesome not to succeed. My sister gave me a pep talk last week and it went a little something like this:

When you first decided that you wanted to apply to grad school there was something in you that made you believe that you could do it. Your job is to NOT forget that reason. Just know that even if it's plan A ,B, or C, you WILL succeed.

[Clou12]

HUGS! You are too awesome not to succeed. My sister gave me a pep talk last week and it went a little something like this:

When you first decided that you wanted to apply to grad school there was something in you that made you believe that you could do it. Your job is to NOT forget that reason. Just know that even if it's plan A ,B, or C, you WILL succeed.

Awesome pep talk! I like that Thanks for sharing!

[wannabeaphd]

I'm lucky to have gotten some acceptances this year, but I got my first rejection (and I'm sure most painful) from a program that I'd applied to last year and been rejected from... buh!

[Julianne Pigoon]

In hopes to get-in somewhere, I ended up applying to 15 schools. I feel like I binged on too much cake, the kind with lots of thick, clumpy icing; and now that the frenzy is over, I'm stuck with a bad taste in my mouth and heaviness in my gut (not to mention one very-drained bank account). I haven't heard one word; but there's been many acceptances with full-funding posted within the last few days for two of my top schools. I feel the rejections coming on. It makes me regret. I know that I'm getting ahead of myself, there's a lot more chances to go . . . but the once shining, hopeful "what if" has turned into a pensive, depressing, "what if not." What if I'm not good enough? Ouch. A year ago when I decided to do this, I didn't realize how agonizing the waiting and the rejections would be. Knew it would be rough, but not this rough. Typically I am the type of person who'd just busy myself with formulating Plan B and Plan C and Plan D.... But as of now, my stomach hurts too much. Anyone got an antacid?

I feel your pain, my dear. I was geared up to apply to about ten PhD programs that are, at the moment, probably out of my reach. I sobered up and applied to three PhDs that were either in range and fit well, or free (hahaha. I'm poor), and three MAs. I'm in this strange sort of limbo between being overqualified for an MA and underqualified for a funded PhD. Even though I went the "realistic" route with my applications, I still feel bloated and in agony over all the money I spent and all the rejections I expect. This process of applying and waiting has robbed me of my self‒worth, my optimism, and my attentiveness toward finishing school. I really wish I had just given it another year.

Plan Bs are hard to even entertain, and currently mine is, ironically, to reproduce more. Brilliant, totally brilliant.

[sansao]

I had originally intended to apply to a bunch too. Now that I've reduced it to four, I'm a little terrified. I haven't heard anything from anyone yet, either, except a panic moment the other day when a finaid dept at one of the schools sent me an email. My phone jumbled the subject and sender together, "office of student acknowledgement." Yeah, they just wanted to tell me they got my FAFSA info. And then I had to go back to sleep, which of course did not happen.

[Kitkat]

I think that when it comes down to it, my first emotion to follow was not being horribly suprised or upset by my first rejection, but rather a fear for the rest of my applications.

Supposedly one of the schools that I applied to has started to do interviews and I didn't get an invite for that. This makes me more worried then the rejection.

[sansao]

I think that when it comes down to it, my first emotion to follow was not being horribly suprised or upset by my first rejection, but rather a fear for the rest of my applications.

As previously mentioned, same here. Though the more I move away from it, the better off I feel with the decision.

Supposedly one of the schools that I applied to has started to do interviews and I didn't get an invite for that. This makes me more worried then the rejection.

Maybe they liked your application so much that they don't need to interview you?

[verdalantreas]

I got what I think is a reject from the program where I did my masters. Interviews invitations have been sent out, but no news yet. I feel pretty terrible about it, especially as it was my dream school, and I literally worked my ass off last year to get near perfect grades. I am in a good job now, in a different city, mostly because I did not dare apply last year (it would have sucked even more to be rejected while there).

The formal rejection letter is still a week or so away, but it feels terrible. This whole application process is just cruel. Nothing seems interesting, or to matter anymore.

[kgumps2012]

I know what you are going through verdalantreas. I am currently finishing a master's program at one of the schools I applied to. Even though it isn't my top choice I would still be happy going there. They had a visit weekend 2 weeks ago where I was invited to "meet the PhD candidates" (i.e. invited as a current student and not as a potential student). That hurt. anyway. good luck

[verdalantreas]

kgumps2012 that must be really horrible. I tried to prevent exactly that scenario last year by not applying yet, but now I think it was not a wise move, as it probably is still harder for them to reject someone who is around than to reject someone whom they won't see anymore (also getting feedback on a proposal is much easier if one can discuss it at the course). Anyway, good luck with your other applications.

Edited February 15, 2012 by verdalantreas

[EdaxFlamma]

I joined the club yesterday! I got my first rejection from my super-safety school and I have yet to hear back from any of the others. My prospects are not looking too great... Time to seriously work on my plan C. I just wish that "you-just-got-slapped-in-the-face" feeling would go away - wow.

[Kitkat]

As previously mentioned, same here. Though the more I move away from it, the better off I feel with the decision.

You know, oddly enough I am feeling the same way about that.

Maybe they liked your application so much that they don't need to interview you?

It's a nice thought, but still I am worried, since I am not in yet. So many people are making me worried with the thought that if you didn't get the interview, you're basically out. At the same time, I keep thinking that if that were true, why don't they just send out the rejections and get it over with rather then continuing giving me hope? Gah this whole thing is frustrating. I wish I knew what was going through their heads.....

Does anyone really know how important the interviews are for schools, or do we take it on a school by school basis?

[guttata]

snip

Does anyone really know how important the interviews are for schools, or do we take it on a school by school basis?

Definitely a school by school basis. I know some schools do only admitted student interviews, ie you have to be accepted to even get to come. On the other extreme, I got invited to an interview back in the Fall before I had even submitted my application just from expressing interest with an advisor. I know one or two people who have been accepted and shown up without ever having a face-to-face meeting with anyone in the dept. Don't stress about it unless you have hard confirmation about what the school in question does.

[kgumps2012]

kgumps2012 that must be really horrible. I tried to prevent exactly that scenario last year by not applying yet, but now I think it was not a wise move, as it probably is still harder for them to reject someone who is around than to reject someone whom they won't see anymore (also getting feedback on a proposal is much easier if one can discuss it at the course). Anyway, good luck with your other applications.

I have walked into the admissions office a few times (I work in the same building) and they look genuinely sad when they don't have any news for me. It is the department who is making that decision and not them or else I would probably be in based on interest alone. Of course I applied to the department who has the most applicants they have ever had. C'est la vie.

[sansao]

It's a nice thought, but still I am worried, since I am not in yet.

Some schools just do interviews in specific departments. It seems pretty rare to hear about someone getting an interview to a geo program unless they're international, though I'm sure it's certainly possible. I've seen lots of interviews to schools I applied to, but very rarely in my programs. But yeah, it doesn't help me worry any less either. On the other hand, the idea of an interview is absolutely terrifying to me. I haven't had an interview even for a job since 2004. I'm sure the world that I inhabited then has completely metamorphosed (ha!) into some new situation which is completely foreign to me. Add to that the general anxiety surrounding an interview that could define one's future. Yeah, yikes.

[Kitkat]

Definitely a school by school basis. I know some schools do only admitted student interviews, ie you have to be accepted to even get to come. On the other extreme, I got invited to an interview back in the Fall before I had even submitted my application just from expressing interest with an advisor. I know one or two people who have been accepted and shown up without ever having a face-to-face meeting with anyone in the dept. Don't stress about it unless you have hard confirmation about what the school in question does.

Some schools just do interviews in specific departments. It seems pretty rare to hear about someone getting an interview to a geo program unless they're international, though I'm sure it's certainly possible. I've seen lots of interviews to schools I applied to, but very rarely in my programs. But yeah, it doesn't help me worry any less either. On the other hand, the idea of an interview is absolutely terrifying to me. I haven't had an interview even for a job since 2004. I'm sure the world that I inhabited then has completely metamorphosed (ha!) into some new situation which is completely foreign to me. Add to that the general anxiety surrounding an interview that could define one's future. Yeah, yikes.

All good to hear, thank you guys! I think with the one school where I have heard about interviews for, the program is rather interdisciplinary, and I was looking at it for the geology/biology aspect of it. So to sansao, in this case interviews might be more of the case because of the other fields involved, not just the geo aspect of it. And to guttata, since I have not heard anything either way to what these interviews mean, or if there will be a second round, I am just going to think that they are not completely done with me yet.

[verdalantreas]

At the school where I was, interviews are done before reject messages are sent out. I don't know why, but possibly so they can do them all at once. Or maybe they see it as a more humane way of rejecting people, so that the rejection creeps up on one slowly (interview dates are listed, so one can do the math), rather than being a sudden event... They list on the site that some people are accepted without interview, but nobody admitted there that I asked did not have an interview.

[coffeeplease]

They list on the site that some people are accepted without interview, but nobody admitted there that I asked did not have an interview.

That's just cruel.

[Kitkat]

I guess that it depends on the field and the department?

[Clou12]

I just got my first response, a rejection, a few minutes ago. Weird, but I feel relieved just to have heard back from somewhere. I am not disappointed at all because I didn't really want to attend that institution in the first place. Therefore, I didn't spend much time polishing my application. So it was expected.

[bellefast]

My 2nd rejection sucked. I got it today. The first one, I didn't take it so bad since, I didn't like the area. I just keep telling myself that my programs talk to each other and one denied me because the other is a better fit. Then, I feel a little better. I need an acceptance before, I give up completely. I sick of crying I just feel so hopeless. It feels good to get that out. I am going to just find something positive to do and keep saying to myself that all I need is one school

[deleteduser0333]

Second rejection today.

Had to call the department to get it (other applicants to the same school were already though several circles of rejection-admission-wait-list-acceptance-rejection).

Apparently they just threw my application in the basket without notification.