To tell or not to tell

[linden]

So, when that acceptance letter comes, will you let others know? Or will you keep it a closely-guarded secret?

I am asking this because I am in at one of my top choices, and I am dying to tell everyone.

Sometimes, I think I should keep it a closely guarded secret until shortly before I return to school. I work in a very competitive workplace, and I wonder if some of my co-workers might be petty enough to try to sabotage my plans. But, granted, that's also quite paranoid.

I would just like to hear what others have to say on this subject.

[orangepotato]

I can't imagine what kind of industry you work in that people would potentially do such a thing? And that whatever their allegations were, that the school would believe the nutjobs who call in?

I can, however, see potential problems with giving some employers too much advance notice that you are leaving. Again, depending on the industry, specific company, and its culture, maybe you would be treated poorly for the rest of your term there. Once you tell your boss you are leaving, he or she also could just say, "Ok, don't bother coming in anymore," and then you are out a paycheck until September. Those sorts of things would be my only concerns -- not fellow employee sabotage. But I've always worked in health care so maybe I have a more positive outlook on things...

PS The puppybowl is awesome.

[cooperphd]

I have been reading up on this myself. According to the career websites, they suggest the normal 2 weeks notice if you are unsure of whether your company will be supportive. As for the colleagues sabotaging your admissions, don't tell them why you are leaving. You can resign and just say that you are pursuing another opportunity. I don't think the likelihood that your colleagues really have that kind of sway with a university is high but, why tip your hat when you don't need to.

To add to the mix, I wonder if this would be a different answer if you already work in higher education? I work in higher education with a supportive boss, but in this economy I am still planning on the normal notice time frame. My only concern is that it leaves my department in the lurches to give notice just before the start of a school year. I actually love my job and my choice to pursue graduate work has been inspired by where I work rather than my passion to leave a terrible work place.

If it makes you feel better, I sort of feel like a fraud at work, especially when they make plans for the fall.

[Nofia]

hold you tongue at work until you give notice. when I left last year I gave much more notice than two weeks, just because I didn't want to screw my projects/clients over since it takes a long time for my old company to hire new folks. I was worried if I gave notice too early, they might have just asked me to leave (I've had friends give notice and get told to just leave the office immediately). In retrospect, my company was awsome and never would have done that to me, but I didnt want to be left without a paycheck for 3 months if they had. It was hard not to tell anyone until the end, but it kept me from being a lame duck on my projects.

[t_ruth]

xx

[crofty]

I worked in a very small office and had a close relationship (both friendship and working) with my co-workers. I played a fairly central role in day-to-day affairs as well as long term planning. So, it was quite important to me that I not leave my friends in the lurch. I gave 2 months notice, and I was happy that I did so. My manager was definitely appreciative of this, despite her disappointment that I was leaving. I was able to help recruit and interview my replacement, and my manager was able to plan and use my time most effectively. Also, it allowed me to handle and discuss personal matters (such as moving, selling my condo, etc.) without too much secrecy. With that said, I think the amount of notice should really be decided on a case by case basis - looking at things like tenure in that position, replaceability, relationship with co-workers, possibility of getting laid-off, spite :wink: and concern over burning too many bridges.

[socialpsych]

Wow, if someone would actually do that to you, that's terrible!

I plan to tell people, but I am in a completely different situation--still in school. I only know one other person applying to my top choice school and I'm pretty sure she would NEVER do anything to sabotage my plans--in fact, if I get in, she will probably get in too.

I could see being treated poorly by one's boss...but I am not in danger of being treated poorly by my profs, so I think it's safe!

[weeble]

I'm in a completely different position than most posters. All my co-workers and both my supervisors have known for more than a year that I'm planning to go back to school. In fact, one of my supervisors wrote a letter of rec for me. I'll be helping to recruit, hire, and train my replacement. I've been such a scatterbrain through the whole application process, I don't know how I could have hidden it from them all!

[ohheygradschool]

I wouldn't tell until necessary. Brag to us instead! :mrgreen:

[jesso21]

I'm still in undergrad, but I'm finding it weird to mention my plans to friends, family, and profs. I'm not sure why, but I'm keeping my news or lack there of pretty private.

Also, not many students from my major are going on to graduate school now, so I don't want to be "LOOK WHAT I'M DOING!! I HAVE A PLAN!"

How horrible that you fear sabotage! I'm keeping mum because I'm a private person, and I don't want to seem like an oversharer or braggart.

[miratrix]

People at work know that I'm applying to graduate school, but when they ask where I've applied I always stress the schools in my city to give the impression that I am not set on on moving and quitting come summer. (I would probably stay on part-time if I went to school here, so I don't want them to start thinking about next year without me!) It's a little more likely that I will be leaving, but even if I get accepted to schools elsewhere, I'm not telling until where I'm going is set in stone. Given other people's comments, this is a very situation-specific issue, I guess.

[Tonights]

It's definitely situation-specific. I only have three other people at my company and they all know I'm planning to go back to school. I completed my applications while at work, so it would have been hard to hide it. They don't want me to leave, but they would never do anything bad to me. I guess this is a really individual decision, whether or not to tell.

[Dinali]

Wow. It absolutely blows me away that that kind of situation would even exist. Maybe I'm too trusting, but I told my boss and co-workers from the get-go about my apps. I think they're about as nervous as I am about getting in some place and everyone's got their fingers crossed for me. If you work with people as evil as you describe, maybe you should have left a long time ago. Life's too short.

[rx8anna]

Both my manager and the head of the department I work in wrote letters of recommendation for me, so there was no getting around letting them know of my application status. I also had to unexpectedly take a couple days off of work to attend the recruitment weekend. I would have a hard time "not" letting anyone know whether or not I've been accepted. Everyone has been really supportive, and my manager has told me that he appreciates being given months advance notice so that they can go through the process of finding someone to replace me. But then I work at a pretty unique organization. Will it backfire? I guess I'll find out in the coming months....

[csApplicant]

please keep it to yourself. i made the mistake to tell people and now people are treating me different and also, there is one guy i don't trust and i realized he is a very jealous person and i should have... well, just kept my mouth shut!!!

trust me. don't worry, you can spill the beans where you are safely there.

[40404]

Same here... Both my bosses know about it since I asked for LORs from one and asked one to sign my package discounts (I work in express logistics and we have employee benefits on sending packages/documents at half the price but needs his signature). And I think my teamates know too since my boss kept hinting on me leaving during meetings.

I think they appreciate knowing in advance just so they are prepared to replace me once I leave for grad school and they have been supportive.

Linden, what type of industry do you work in? Are your colleagues interested in the same programs? I mean, if it is an industry highly specialized on what you want to pursue in grad school, I understand the jealousy that might come out (compared to me as my team is composed of people from different backgrounds!) but nonetheless, its up to you if you want to tell them. If I were in your place, I would

[lycoris]

Mmm. I am dying to tell, too, but am just waiting until I have all the information. Actually, it's an open secret in my office, as I've told almost everyone except my two supervisors and the uber-head-honcho. I work in higher ed, so my colleagues are all supportive, but I haven't always had the best relationship with my supervisors, so there is some concern that they'll take the opportunity to give me the boot.

On the other hand, if they give me the boot after I give notice, won't that look like retaliation? My position is covered by a bargaining unit agreement, so I have some backup. I have a performance review coming up in April, so I'm planning to try to hold out until then - and give them four months' notice, with plenty of time to make sure that they can find the best candidate to replace me and that I have plenty of time to prepare for the transition and train him or her.

Maybe it's crazy. But, I'm not very good at keeping my mouth shut, and I've already been holding my tongue longer than I ever thought possible. And, worst case scenario, at least I don't have a resume to worry about for a little while - I can make my rent by waiting tables for a few months, if need be.

I can't imagine a scenario where your colleagues would be able to do anything to sabotage you. That sounds like a terrible environment to be working in - glad that you're getting out.

[rx8anna]

Well, I'll have to go back on what I posted earlier. Do Not Tell Anyone. In the matter of two weeks, things have completely changed. I will deal with it, but this is definitely a learning experience.

[lycoris]

Well, I'll have to go back on what I posted earlier. Do Not Tell Anyone. In the matter of two weeks, things have completely changed. I will deal with it, but this is definitely a learning experience.

Wait . . . what happened?

[miratrix]

Is everything ok? :/

I'm reading about a major employer in my industry struggling with hiring freezes, closing down branches, and considering layoffs today. It's really scary, because the smaller players in the field are doing badly too, and I'm at the bottom of the hierarchy. I have no idea how long my job will be safe, although it's already basically underemployment. I haven't told people at work my plans, partly because if I go to school locally I might keep working part-time...but inside, I'm incredibly grateful that I have one funded acceptance that would give me income and benefits for a few years while everything else goes downhill. That makes me feel very secure.

[BCHistory]

To add to the mix, I wonder if this would be a different answer if you already work in higher education? I work in higher education with a supportive boss, but in this economy I am still planning on the normal notice time frame. My only concern is that it leaves my department in the lurches to give notice just before the start of a school year. I actually love my job and my choice to pursue graduate work has been inspired by where I work rather than my passion to leave a terrible work place.

If it makes you feel better, I sort of feel like a fraud at work, especially when they make plans for the fall.

I know exactly how you feel. I'm going through this myself: I work at a university, as well. I thought that the stress would end when I received an acceptance, but now I'm trying to figure out how to tactfully put in my notice this summer. Nobody knows that I've applied for graduate school, let alone been accepted. They knew I planned to eventually pursue a PhD, but not that it was going to be this fall. I didn't want to tell anybody for fear of receiving no funded acceptances, only to have them let me go without any actual graduate school plans after the summer. I really have no idea how to leave this job without a very awkward, uncomfortable situation in the workplace, especially since the economic crisis will likely cause my school to institute hiring freezes very shortly.

[Ozymandias]

My personal plan is to give 4 to 6 weeks notice. I feel giving them enough time to find a replacement before I'm gone is a sign of respect and that they deserve that after having been my employer for a few years. However there is no need to tell them in March if you're going to be leaving in September. If things are going well right now then why risk messing them up before necessary? I purposefully avoided my employer knowing about my plans on the chance that if I am not accepted anywhere I won't want to be thought of differently and have all my prospects of advancement erased.

It depends on the situation but I'd advise more than the minimum, but not just to tell them as soon as you're accepted

[herself the elf]

I'm in a weird situation too, having switched jobs within my company after applying. I had to interview for this new position, knowing that I might leave, but also having no idea whether I would even get in anywhere. Some people in my old group know about my applications, but no one in my new group.

I'm going to wait to give the 30 days notice required in my contract. Aside from the fact that I think my boss will be very unhappy with it, a close friend warned me not to make myself a "lame duck" for too long. I thought that was a good way to think of it. It is hard to keep it in, but I think it could be harder in my particular circumstance if I tell.

I feel weird in meetings planning about the future, but it is what it is-- we certainly aren't the first to change careers, and if they aren't happy for us that we are following our dreams, well, that's their problem. Hopefully they will take it well, and we can make the transition as easy as possible for them.

[johndiligent]

This thread represents a very different experience from what I've had. I've told lots of people, and I rationalise it by thinking that if they'd been working for the last six of their lives on an accomplishment and achieved it, then they'd want to share it, too.

I guess there's also the factor that since I'm in the Humanities, very few people would actually want to go off and do what I'm going to do. People keep asking me, "So, a Master's degree? What will that actually prepare you to do?" like they pity me. I'm sure they wouldn't attempt to sabotage me because I can't imagine that they'd ever muster enough to care that much about it. Or me, for that matter.

[fadeindreams]

I know exactly how you feel. I'm going through this myself: I work at a university, as well. I thought that the stress would end when I received an acceptance, but now I'm trying to figure out how to tactfully put in my notice this summer. Nobody knows that I've applied for graduate school, let alone been accepted. They knew I planned to eventually pursue a PhD, but not that it was going to be this fall. I didn't want to tell anybody for fear of receiving no funded acceptances, only to have them let me go without any actual graduate school plans after the summer. I really have no idea how to leave this job without a very awkward, uncomfortable situation in the workplace, especially since the economic crisis will likely cause my school to institute hiring freezes very shortly.

It's funny. Until I read your post, I would have thought I was in a pretty unique situation. I am in almost the exact same situation you are in.

I work for a major public university. They have already implemented a hiring freeze that is scheduled to expire on July 1st. I am having an awful time deciding when I should tell my boss. I've already received one acceptance, to a school that I would love to go to (let's call it my second choice), and I really see the probability of me staying in this job as effectively zero. I don't, however, want to be a "lame duck" and I do like my job. I think about this situation daily for what seems like hours at a time...

Adding to my difficulties in choosing when to give my notice are that my wife also works for the same university and under the same reporting structure that I do and she has also gotten the same acceptance that I have, her boss and my boss are great friends that have worked together for 20+ years and she has already told her boss that she is leaving. I figure it's only a matter of time that my boss finds out from a secondary source. That would be way less than ideal.

Also, I work in a non-classified position and I am only the second person in this position. I fear that if I leave they will not be able to fill the position; that they might lose the support for the position due to funding and a new dean coming in right when the hiring freeze will expire. Compounded with the fact that my job requires significant pre-planning for travel, I am completely at a loss as to when to tell my boss. Travel season for my job starts in September. Even if they hired a new person, that person would have to be trained before traveling. They'd lose out on Fall travel, the most important part of the cycle.

*sigh*

I figure I have two options, one very thoughtful but risky and one incredibly tactless.

1) I could tell my boss in the next few weeks that they will need to replace me in August. My boss could then plan ahead and maybe work something out where I stay on part-time to train or the new hire can come in concurrently. I do not see leaving earlier than August as an option for personal financial reasons (I am expecting my first child in June!! ).

2) I could give the typical 2 week notice in mid-August. I figure this is not the way to go because my boss will find out by then from another source and because that would make it impossible for them to hire before the travel season.

I feel bad about leaving but I know that due to my personal situation that this is the best time for me to do so. I would not like to screw over my office. I guess #1 is pretty obvious.