Post-Acceptance Stress & Misc. Banter

[dazedandbemused]

I got that perspective a lot from professors. From what they told me, it's less an issue of not knowing what you want to do (obviously you do know what you want to do. You want to go to grad school.) and more an issue of the fact that once you're in academia, you're in it for a long haul. It makes things like traveling for pleasure, romantic relationships, having children, etc. a lot more complicated and so people often suggest that you take some time off to go do some of the things you want to do before you sign up for such a serious commitment.

 

The issue with the concept of a gap year, however, is that it just isn't an economic possibility for most people anymore. Would I love to spend the next year wandering around Europe or even just England? Absolutely, but I do not have the money to do it. To me, not going straight into grad school means spending the next year(s) working a job I'm not crazy about to pay bills until I can get accepted somewhere.

 

Exactly, there are few options outside of crappy jobs right now; I just happened to be extremely lucky in having my gap year paid for by someone else. I've never heard anyone say you should take time to get married and have kids beforehand though! Everyone always says to get as much grad school out of the way as possible; there'll be time for children while you dissertate. Of course, this also assumes that you actually give a shit about love and baby-making. I'm always amazed by how many people have told me to be prepared for how difficult it is to raise kids during school. Nevermind that I don't actually want any, cause I'll definitely change my mind one day. There are just so many middle class assumptions behind that sort of thing.

[dazedandbemused]

I hear this perspective so often: "I can't afford to take time off from school/explore/find myself." But it's not entirely true. You can find teaching positions and other kinds of opportunities that would allow you to travel for free or very cheaply. Regardless of whether or not you end up travelling, you can "find yourself" in any number of circumstances. You don't have to be taking a luxury tour of Europe to explore what it is that you want out of life. I feel like sometimes the economic argument is a bit of an excuse to stay within one's comfort zone. There are a million jobs out there and a million ways to support yourself -- some just involve bigger risks than others. 

 

Dear God, do people still propose to "find themselves"?

[DontHate]

Eh, whatever you want to call it -- it just means figuring your shit out. It's not a luxury that only rich people can afford. It's available to everyone.

[practical cat]

I got that perspective a lot from professors. From what they told me, it's less an issue of not knowing what you want to do (obviously you do know what you want to do. You want to go to grad school.) and more an issue of the fact that once you're in academia, you're in it for a long haul. It makes things like traveling for pleasure, romantic relationships, having children, etc. a lot more complicated and so people often suggest that you take some time off to go do some of the things you want to do before you sign up for such a serious commitment.

 

The issue with the concept of a gap year, however, is that it just isn't an economic possibility for most people anymore. Would I love to spend the next year wandering around Europe or even just England? Absolutely, but I do not have the money to do it. To me, not going straight into grad school means spending the next year(s) working a job I'm not crazy about to pay bills until I can get accepted somewhere.

Exactly. I mean, my Gap Year #1 has been pretty ok (sometimes even really great!) but I'm just not doing what I want to be doing and it's definitely not the kind of luxury that many, many people propose. I'm working hard and I'm working quite a bit and barely getting by financially. I'm not doing the "things I want to do" any more than I would be in grad school. I suspect Gap Year #2 will be better but I'd honestly still prefer to be going to grad school since that's actually in line with what I'd like to be doing.

Still though. REALLY glad I didn't go through this process last year. As much as I know I would rather be in grad school right now, there was no way I could've picked myself back up after a grueling senior year and hit the ground running the way I would be able to this September. Last summer, I really, truly did not want it at that point in my life. Had I locked myself into something, it would've been just as depressing as my awful jobs. Also, man. The application that I would've produced in the midst of taking a full load, teaching, and writing a thesis would've been actually hilariously bad instead of just OK.

[Porridge]

I'm about to speak to a POI over Skype. I am very excited and nervous.

[NowMoreSerious]

LOL at Gap "years." Try multiple 2-3 year gaps and other year long stints that had nothing to do with Academia.

[jazzyd]

[insert whiny, inconsiderate moaning and groaning]

Edited February 20, 2013 by jazzy dubois

[Swagato]

Okay. If you are accepted to UChicago and Brown (but more so Chicago) and your professors are "disappointed," you're hanging out with the wrong crowd.

 

Seriously, do you have any idea how massively transformative and hugely respected Chicago's entire English department is? I realise a lot of it has to do with research fit, and sure, you may not (think you) have a good fit, but simply based off what I saw of the English program during my year at Chicago...Bill Brown, Lauren Berlant, WJT Mitchell, James Lastra, James Chandler, Hillary Chute, Elaine Hadley, Debbie Nelson...it's a bloody who's who of big names.

 

I have no idea where you're getting your information or what your specialty (prospective) is, but you really need better information IMHO.

 

"And I struggle to find faculty members at Tier 1 research institutions from any of the universities I've been accepted into."

 

I really don't know what to even say to this except shake my head. It's frankly a bit annoying to see someone be accepted to some of the best departments in English around and grouse about it, out of, if I may be blunt, sheer ignorance.

 

Edit again: David Alworth *just* graduated from Chicago. He's now an assistant professor at Harvard if I remember rightly. And, really? Have you even looked at Chicago's placement during these tough-as-nails times? Here: http://english.uchicago.edu/prospective/recent-job-placements

Edited February 20, 2013 by Swagato

[asewaxcvz]

I'm a lurker, but I was just compelled to register by the post above.

 

Jazzy Dubois,

 

You were accepted at 4 top 15 programs with acceptance rates hovering around 2%. Your posts indicate that you are a childish, entitled, insensitive, spoiled brat. *wah* *wah* my friend got into Columbia and I didn't.

 

Get your shit together, pal. If you seriously have these kinds of concerns, keep them to yourself, you inconsiderate bastard; 99% of the rest of us would give a limb to be in your shoes. 

[jazzyd]

I'm a lurker, but I was just compelled to register by the post above.

 

Jazzy Dubois,

 

You were accepted at 4 top 15 programs with acceptance rates hovering around 2%. Your posts indicate that you are a childish, entitled, insensitive, spoiled brat. *wah* *wah* my friend got into Columbia and I didn't.

 

Get your shit together, pal. If you seriously have these kinds of concerns, keep them to yourself, you inconsiderate bastard; 99% of the rest of us would give a limb to be in your shoes. 

 

Agreed. I will get my head out of my ass post haste. Thanks bro.

[Two Espressos]

Jazzy Dubois, I'm just a waitlisted undergrad, but I seriously think that declining your acceptances and reapplying next season would be a bad idea.  Remember that admissions committees must have thought you'd fit well with the department: otherwise, they wouldn't have admitted you.

 

Again, my opinion doesn't much matter, and I'm not an expert by any means, but were I to name the best English program in the U.S., I'd answer: "UChicago."  There, I said it.  And I didn't even apply there!  It's such a badass place.  I agree with Swagato's remarks above.

Edited February 20, 2013 by Two Espressos

[NowMoreSerious]

[insert whiny, inconsiderate moaning and groaning]

Let me take another approach. I read this post before you deleted it and I actually didn't have the sense of anger that some others have. I sort of understand.

But I do want to tell you, with good intentions, that you will drive yourself crazy if you maintain that attitude. Every indicator tells me that graduate school is a very very humbling experience. Most people in it have been the "stars" of their class at some point, if not throughout their entire academic careers. Some of these people bring their competitiveness and illusions of grandeur over to grad school and suffer greatly. Though admittedly, some bring their competitiveness and succeed.

But remember, almost every job is a people job. I've often heard of people being hired because, "They would fit in well here," or "Seem like they have the ability work with others," over people who look better on paper.

But on a personal note, I truly believe that all forms of knowledge are collaborative. If your ultra-competitiveness is preventing you from having a sincere collaborative relationship with your cohorts and advisors, then I will go so far as to say you are selling yourself short, both as a scholar and as a human being. There will always be people better than you and that's ok.

What is it we are doing in the humanities? What is it about? For me it is a lot about critical thinking, social awareness, and appreciation, but also developing an acute sense of empathy and sensitivity. Call ME naive, but I feel that way.

I'm not judging you at all, but think deeply about why you are doing what you are doing. You say you want to be heard, but what it is that you have to say?

in good faith,

IMWANT

[Deadinthewater]

I advise you to skip this year and try for the school you really want. You have already been accepted by several highly competitive programs, so it's not some bizarre case where your own personal "genius" was observed through an accident or a freak coincidence. If you apply to all of the same schools next year you may not get into the same ones you did this year, but, even from an empirical, non-binding, absolutely-nothing-guaranteed perspective, you are at the head of the pack. So I say try again, especially if the thought of "what could have been" at Columbia or UPenn will plague you until your final days.

That is, unless it really is an issue of pride, a feeling of inadequacy next to your peers. I can speak for almost all of us (a majority of the applicants in the world) when I say our "results" seem inadequate compared to yours. Some of us won't be facing the tough decision between either reapplying from scratch or pursuing a PhD at Brown or Chicago (which was my number one fucking dream of a lifetime choice), but will be choosing between reapplying and long-term employment, teaching highschool, moving in with their parents, etc.

My conclusion here is as it typically is in most cases: life is miserable. My pain from not getting into Chicago–what amounts to envy for your pain–is real pain. Your pain about your rejections is real pain. We are all hurting, forever.

Good luck with your decision!

[BrookeSnow]

Quick, well hopefully quick question. I received an acceptance email. The email closes with the line that I can contact them with any questions. Are there specific questions I should ask? They cannot tell me about funding until March. If I don't have any questions should I respond to the email saying thank you for the acceptance?

[chaucerettescs]

The thing is I've already figured my shit out. I had two years off between high school and college because of financial reasons and had plenty time to think about things then. I decided then that grad school was what I wanted to shoot for and my years as an undergrad only confirmed that. I know there are plenty of things one can do to professionally bolster one's self during a gap year that don't require money (I'm trying my damndest to get published/attend conferences/get more teaching experience under my belt), but it gets tiresome when professors tell you things like "Go to Europe! Take time off! Relax!"

 

Exactly, there are few options outside of crappy jobs right now; I just happened to be extremely lucky in having my gap year paid for by someone else. I've never heard anyone say you should take time to get married and have kids beforehand though! Everyone always says to get as much grad school out of the way as possible; there'll be time for children while you dissertate. Of course, this also assumes that you actually give a shit about love and baby-making. I'm always amazed by how many people have told me to be prepared for how difficult it is to raise kids during school. Nevermind that I don't actually want any, cause I'll definitely change my mind one day. There are just so many middle class assumptions behind that sort of thing.

 

Haha, well, she didn't tell me to go get married and have kids right now, she just meant that if that is something I think I'll want ("if that even is something you'll want"; she did acknowledge the "if") I need to stop and think about it now because, according to her, she's had many experiences with her colleagues turning forty and having these mini-crises: "Oh my God, I never did the things I wanted to do when I was young blah blah blah". Go be young was her advice, I guess.

 

Still though. REALLY glad I didn't go through this process last year. As much as I know I would rather be in grad school right now, there was no way I could've picked myself back up after a grueling senior year and hit the ground running the way I would be able to this September. Last summer, I really, truly did not want it at that point in my life. Had I locked myself into something, it would've been just as depressing as my awful jobs. Also, man. The application that I would've produced in the midst of taking a full load, teaching, and writing a thesis would've been actually hilariously bad instead of just OK.

It was definitely not fun, especially because Fall was my final semester. I think it definitely affected my application. I'm already looking at my SOP and writing sample, KNOWING I could do better. That would be sound advice to wait a year before applying: simply that it is very difficult to put together the best app you possibly can when you're also focusing on trying to graduate.

 

This whole cycle has been hilariously bad. I just found out that my UNC application was never processed because the admissions office never bothered to contact me (they were supposed to send a form letter) to let me know that my fee waiver had been rejected. Reality is becoming far more creative than my nightmares at this point.

Edited February 20, 2013 by chaucerettescs

[figsmcfigs]

I advise you to skip this year and try for the school you really want. You have already been accepted by several highly competitive programs, so it's not some bizarre case where your own personal "genius" was observed through an accident or a freak coincidence. If you apply to all of the same schools next year you may not get into the same ones you did this year, but, even from an empirical, non-binding, absolutely-nothing-guaranteed perspective, you are at the head of the pack. So I say try again, especially if the thought of "what could have been" at Columbia or UPenn will plague you until your final days.

That is, unless it really is an issue of pride, a feeling of inadequacy next to your peers. I can speak for almost all of us (a majority of the applicants in the world) when I say our "results" seem inadequate compared to yours. Some of us won't be facing the tough decision between either reapplying from scratch or pursuing a PhD at Brown or Chicago (which was my number one fucking dream of a lifetime choice), but will be choosing between reapplying and long-term employment, teaching highschool, moving in with their parents, etc.

My conclusion here is as it typically is in most cases: life is miserable. My pain from not getting into Chicago–what amounts to envy for your pain–is real pain. Your pain about your rejections is real pain. We are all hurting, forever.

Good luck with your decision!

 

I was gonna write something similar to this but, you know... way too lazy. This + what that other person / robot said about waiting till after you visit... of course, by then it will be way too late and there's no way that you'll decline all the schools!!!

[ProfLorax]

Quick, well hopefully quick question. I received an acceptance email. The email closes with the line that I can contact them with any questions. Are there specific questions I should ask? They cannot tell me about funding until March. If I don't have any questions should I respond to the email saying thank you for the acceptance?

Re: Questions to Ask: 

[Deadinthewater]

I would like to add: I wish that the humanities had charming celebrity anecdotes. When I was a kid, people frequently told (or I should say, misconstrued) that story about Michael Jordan being cut from his high school basketball team as motivation to never give up. Today, no one can say something like, "Foucault was rejected his first two cycles. Deleuze ended up going to his fallback school."

There is no hope for us, any of us.

[practical cat]

We are all hurting, forever.

lol THIS.

[Troppman]

I would like to add: I wish that the humanities had charming celebrity anecdotes. When I was a kid, people frequently told (or I should say, misconstrued) that story about Michael Jordan being cut from his high school basketball team as motivation to never give up. Today, no one can say something like, "Foucault was rejected his first two cycles. Deleuze ended up going to his fallback school."

There is no hope for us, any of us.

Well... there's Fanon's rejected thesis, Irigaray's troublesome dissertation, same with Benjamin, etc etc... maybe I missed the point of discussion here? Wait, admissions is different... But, yeah, good luck to all!

Edited February 20, 2013 by StephanieDelacour

[Deadinthewater]

Well... there's Fanon's rejected thesis, Irigaray's troublesome dissertation, same with Benjamin, etc etc I guess they were already "in"?

Yes but can they dunk?

[Troppman]

Yes but can they dunk?

Last I heard, Irigaray was touching backboard

[DontHate]

I would like to add: I wish that the humanities had charming celebrity anecdotes. When I was a kid, people frequently told (or I should say, misconstrued) that story about Michael Jordan being cut from his high school basketball team as motivation to never give up. Today, no one can say something like, "Foucault was rejected his first two cycles. Deleuze ended up going to his fallback school."

There is no hope for us, any of us.

 

Sarte didn't get into ENS on his first attempt at taking the exams. Second attempt: ranked #1 nationally.

[DontHate]

Obviously Jazzy should do what Jazzy's heart tells Jazzy to do. If it's Columbia or bust, then go for Columbia. But it is statistically a truly random process, in many ways, and it is very possible that Jazzy will be throwing away a chance to go to Brown or Chicago WITHOUT ultimately exchanging it for entrance at Columbia (or Penn, or Harvard, or wherever it is that gives you butterflies). There will still probably be many programs that will take you, but they probably won't be any more "dreamy" than the ones you got into this year (because those are damn fine programs!) Unless something massive changes about your application, like you win a genius grant or publish a best-selling (academic) book [ha!], you'll be putting yourself through the exact same crapshoot that you went through this year, and you may not like the results. REAL TALK.

 

I don't think it's entitled or spoiled or hyper-competitive to want to go to a certain school very badly (granted, I didn't read your controversial post that everyone was bashing]. I do think it's lacks pragmatism to not thoroughly weigh the consequences of giving up another year just to play the odds again, unless you have a killer plan [and that takes a lot more that improving your GRE and SoP.] Like, for instance, if you would be spending the year as a research assistant for a professor at your target program, that may be worth a shot. Or if you would be doing a Fulbright researching somewhere amazing. You get the idea.

Edited February 20, 2013 by DontHate

[gwarner13]

[insert whiny, inconsiderate moaning and groaning]

 

Full disclosure: I'm waitlisted at UCLA, one of your acceptances and my top choice.

 

I, too, read your original post before you deleted it. It didn't anger me, because on some level I understand where you're coming from. I think the real issue here is how much importance you attach to attending your "dream" program-- and that's a question only you can answer. Of course it goes without saying that many, many, MANY people would kill for even one of your acceptances, but ultimately that's neither here nor there. You have to evaluate your options on their own terms, not in comparison to Columbia, UPenn, etc.,  and decide whether you believe you will be happy/able to do good work/productive there. If you don't think so, for whatever reason, (fit, prestige, whatever), then it makes sense to me to try again next year. No one needs to tell you that there's no guaranatee that reapplying will get you in to Penn, Columbia or anywhere else... and that includes the schools that accepted you this year. But, who knows, maybe you will. Or, maybe in the process of researching/reapplying you'll discover that NYU, Princeton, or some other amazing institution is really the best place for you...and wind up there. It's a risk, but the only way you can accurately determine whether that risk is worth taking is to take a good, hard, honest look at the options before you right here, right now.

 

I think much of the concern stems from your original assertion that much of your angst is motivated by a (perhaps misplaced) sense of competition. Graduate education at the schools to which you aspire is competitive, and that ambition can get you far, but ultimately, this decision has to be about what's right for YOU, not what seems best in comparison with the outcomes other people are facing.

 

That said, congratulations on your impressive accomplishments. You should be very, very, proud, and all best as you make what, I'm sure, amounts to a difficult decision.

 

(And, hey, if you decide to turn down UCLA, and let them know sooner rather than later...I wouldn't complain )