Post-Acceptance Stress & Misc. Banter

[intextrovert]

Jazzy, bringing the drama! I also read the original post, and basically the issue to me is not that you want to go to Columbia or Berkeley, which is totally fine, but that you want to go to those programs solely because you think they are viewed as more prestigious than the ones you got into. It doesn't even seem like you're concerned with anything substantive about the programs themselves. Where are you getting those ideas? The idea that Columbia or Berkeley are appreciably more prestigious than Chicago or Brown or UCLA is just straight-up bizarre to me. They're all different, sure, but in type, not degree. I mean, there are multiple people in my program (Michigan) who turned down Harvard, Yale, Princeton, and a ton who have turned down Berkeley to come here - and that's just my cohort and the ones directly above and below. I feel like we always have a bunch of admits who are deciding between Berkeley and Michigan, and it's usually about 50/50 if they come here or there. I'm not tryin'a brag on my program or anything (though it is awesome!), but it's just reality. A lot of people consistently turn down multiple Ivies for Rutgers, which has better placement than most Ivies (and really, why does prestige matter except for that? Isn't that sort of the ultimate test of prestige?). It just seems like your ideas about prestige are coming straight from US News's exact rankings, which is stretching them beyond what they are capable of doing.

 

Your friends who got into Berkeley or Columbia - did they get into Chicago or Brown or UCLA or NYU? I highly doubt they got into everything, because it's individual at that point and not about how "good" you are. It's not like undergrad where there's an objective scale. If there is something about Berkeley or Columbia specifically, substantively, that you really, really can't live without, that's totally fine, and I agree that if you really want it, apply again and go for it (and that time around, don't apply for schools you won't be thrilled to go to)! But don't do it because you think the schools you got into aren't prestigious enough. It's just simply not true.

 

And hey, if you are a competitive person, I bet you'd LOVE Chicago!

Edited February 20, 2013 by intextrovert

[Porridge]

Warning: stupid question pending.

 

What makes Ivy Leagues so special? Are they considered more prestigious and more marketable than say other top research facilities. But is it the Ivy League Brand that should trump all other considerations? I applied to UPenn because it seemed like a suitable fit, good research happenings etc. 

 

Disclosure: I'm an international and offered a place at UPenn.

[DontHate]

The Ivy League is a historically fancy and prestigious brand -- they are some of the oldest schools in the country (ex: Harvard was the first school founded in the colonies), therefore they have that brand longevity so sought-after. They also generally have massive resources compared to other schools, partly due to their age; they have many generations of generous alumni to draw upon. That's about all I can think of to explain the appeal of the Ivies. It's comforting to feel yourself an approved member of a longstanding and classy system known for producing lots of successful ____ (fill in whatever it is you want to be here).

Going to a newer, up-and-coming program takes a bit more blind faith in progress rather than the other kind of faith that draws upon past success.

[MedLit]

This. This times infinity. 

 

Friday evening, I got a call from the DGS of one of my reach/dream programs with an offer of admission, plus an incredibly generous funding package. He said I'd be receiving the official offer and information this weekish.  I, of course, was a flabbergasted and incoherent mess on the phone, and so now I'm fairly confident that the official offer will just "get lost in red tape" and I'll never actually see it. And that they'll magically know every school I've applied to, and call their adcoms, to warn them, too. Man 48 hours in and I'm already experiencing impostor syndrome. </crazy neurosis>

 

I think I can top that. I thought responses would start coming later, and I was taken by surprise when a professor emailed me saying to expect an official letter soon. I didn't respond to that. Ooops. I hadn't realized I should. And now, of course, it's too late to do so, because what will it look like to respond a week later? I RSVP'd to their open house at least.

[Marie-Luise]

You might not have been rejected from Harvard. They only started notifying today.

[Phil Sparrow]

to be fair, plenty of people well out of undergrad still don't know what they want to do.

 

This is very, very true. There are a number of reasons why I (and many other people) share the belief I do, though. The main reason is that if you go straight through from undergrad, you are looking at a full 25 years or so of institutionalized education with no break, from kindergarten through grad school. This does not always make for well-adjusted people or colleagues, and, what's more, many people do not produce as strong a body of scholarship as they would otherwise because they have not stretched their brains outside of the institutionalized education tunnel. Think of life outside of the education complex as cross-training for your brain; it can be incredibly beneficial. One learns to think in new and different ways, and even if you don't use those ways, the intellectual muscle is still stronger for it. I know that this might bother some people because no one likes to believe they have a limited life experience. And of course it's not true for everyone! But the reality is one can walk into any seminar in a PhD program and know almost immediately who came straight from undergrad. It shows. (It should also go without saying that life and work merge strangely and inextricably when you're an academic, and it's beneficial to stretch your intellectual and emotional muscles beyond institutionalized education not just to benefit your scholarship, but to benefit your life, too.)

Edited February 20, 2013 by Phil Sparrow

[Phil Sparrow]

The issue with the concept of a gap year, however, is that it just isn't an economic possibility for most people anymore. Would I love to spend the next year wandering around Europe or even just England? Absolutely, but I do not have the money to do it. To me, not going straight into grad school means spending the next year(s) working a job I'm not crazy about to pay bills until I can get accepted somewhere.

 

My answer to this is that one should probably spend at least a year doing something she don't want to be doing. The simplest reason, among many, is that grad school SUCKS even when it's wonderful (which is usually is, if it's for you and your program is not insane). It's extremely good to know what you're missing, so you can endure the suckiness without going nuts. 

[ProfLorax]

My answer to this is that one should probably spend at least a year doing something she don't want to be doing. The simplest reason, among many, is that grad school SUCKS even when it's wonderful (which is usually is, if it's for you and your program is not insane). It's extremely good to know what you're missing, so you can endure the suckiness without going nuts. 

Whenever I have doubts that academia is the right road for me, I think about the year I spent working at Borders (RIP) full-time between my BA and MA. I think about the giant Grinch costume I had to wear during Christmas time; I think about the midnight release party I had to organize for Breaking Dawn (for which I was required to read the first three Twilight books); I think about the customer who was frustrated that I couldn't figure out the title of the book she wanted based on her description: "it's about a woman who is like sad and stuff, I think." 

 

Then, the low pay, the high workload, and the moving across the country aspects of pursuing a PhD don't seem so bad. 

 

ETA: On the flipside, the three years I spent teaching at a community college after my MA solidified my desire for a career that involves both teaching and research. Teaching writing also convinced me that rhet/comp is the place for me. So, that break was also critical in my decision-making process-- just not as cruelly funny as the time I spent at Borders. 

Edited February 20, 2013 by proflorax

[beet-nik]

Whenever I have doubts that academia is the right road for me, I think about the year I spent working at Borders (RIP) full-time between my BA and MA. I think about the giant Grinch costume I had to wear during Christmas time; I think about the midnight release party I had to organize for Breaking Dawn (for which I was required to read the first three Twilight books); I think about the customer who was frustrated that I couldn't figure out the title of the book she wanted based on her description: "it's about a woman who is like sad and stuff, I think." 

 

So glad that someone else on here worked at Borders hahaha. I totally know what you're talking about and I definitely agree! Though that had to be one of the most laid-back jobs I've ever had. Not to mention...bookstore + English major = way too big of a bookshelf at home.

[ProfLorax]

So glad that someone else on here worked at Borders hahaha. I totally know what you're talking about and I definitely agree! Though that had to be one of the most laid-back jobs I've ever had. Not to mention...bookstore + English major = way too big of a bookshelf at home.

Yeah, I definitely miss that employee discount, even if it meant that half of my paycheck went right back to the store! 

[KeelyMK]

My answer to this is that one should probably spend at least a year doing something she don't want to be doing. The simplest reason, among many, is that grad school SUCKS even when it's wonderful (which is usually is, if it's for you and your program is not insane). It's extremely good to know what you're missing, so you can endure the suckiness without going nuts.

Can I ask why you think it sucks? Just genuinely curious and a little nervous now, because I've been thinking it was going to be fun and honestly not as difficult as people make it out to be. I'm coming straight from undergrad, and transferring to university has been a cake walk compared to community college while working full-time at backbreaking jobs from construction to retail to funeral director for <10/hr. Now I think of school AS my job (even though I still work part time), and it's ridiculous how easy the job has been. Obviously grad school is going to be much more challenging, but they're actually *paying* me to do it? I can't believe it. And paying me more than I've ever made at a job before at that, all just to read and write? Seems like a dream to me, or an over-the-top practical joke.

[waparys]

Can I ask why you think it sucks? Just genuinely curious and a little nervous now, because I've been thinking it was going to be fun and honestly not as difficult as people make it out to be. I'm coming straight from undergrad, and transferring to university has been a cake walk compared to community college while working full-time at backbreaking jobs from construction to retail to funeral director for <10/hr. Now I think of school AS my job (even though I still work part time), and it's ridiculous how easy the job has been. Obviously grad school is going to be much more challenging, but they're actually *paying* me to do it? I can't believe it. And paying me more than I've ever made at a job before at that, all just to read and write? Seems like a dream to me, or an over-the-top practical joke.

 

KeelyMK: I love that you're here to put everything into perspective for us. Keep doing what you're doing. 

[ProfLorax]

Now I think of school AS my job (even though I still work part time), and it's ridiculous how easy the job has been. Obviously grad school is going to be much more challenging, but they're actually *paying* me to do it? I can't believe it. And paying me more than I've ever made at a job before at that, all just to read and write? Seems like a dream to me, or an over-the-top practical joke.

My lack of upvotes saddens me. Thanks for reminding us, in the midst of the anxiety and chaos that comes with application season, just how freaking lucky we all are to have this opportunity. 

[DontHate]

Keely is awesome. 

 

Grad school is hard in the same way that being a teenager is hard. It feels pretty impossible from the inside, but from the outside everyone's all like "look at you, so young and beautiful, you'll never be this happy again!"

[Phil Sparrow]

Can I ask why you think it sucks? Just genuinely curious and a little nervous now, because I've been thinking it was going to be fun and honestly not as difficult as people make it out to be. I'm coming straight from undergrad, and transferring to university has been a cake walk compared to community college while working full-time at backbreaking jobs from construction to retail to funeral director for <10/hr. Now I think of school AS my job (even though I still work part time), and it's ridiculous how easy the job has been. Obviously grad school is going to be much more challenging, but they're actually *paying* me to do it? I can't believe it. And paying me more than I've ever made at a job before at that, all just to read and write? Seems like a dream to me, or an over-the-top practical joke.

 

It's a life of perpetual insecurity and rejection. Which we put up with because it is fun and wonderful and satisfying!

 

Also, precisely what DontHate said about it being akin to teenagerhood! Man, that depresses me but it's accurate.

Edited February 20, 2013 by Phil Sparrow

[lisajay]

So glad that someone else on here worked at Borders hahaha. I totally know what you're talking about and I definitely agree! Though that had to be one of the most laid-back jobs I've ever had. Not to mention...bookstore + English major = way too big of a bookshelf at home.

 

 

Yeah, I definitely miss that employee discount, even if it meant that half of my paycheck went right back to the store! 

 

i feel like we need a veterans-of-borders thread. my all-time favorite anecdote:

 

customer: i'm looking for that book that the new mel gibson movie is based on. the passion?

employee: sure, our bibles are located—

customer: no, not the bible. i need the book the passion is based on.

employee: right, the bible.

customer: no! the passion!

 

that's one movie tie-in that would've come in handy.

[asleepawake]

I think about the customer who was frustrated that I couldn't figure out the title of the book she wanted based on her description: "it's about a woman who is like sad and stuff, I think." 

 

I hope you just gave her The Bell Jar and were done with it.

 

This sounds exactly the same as working at at a CD/DVD store, which I did in high school: "You know that song that goes dun dun dun dun doo dun dun? Who does that?"

Edited February 20, 2013 by asleepawake

[HHEoS]

i feel like we need a veterans-of-borders thread. my all-time favorite anecdote:

 

customer: i'm looking for that book that the new mel gibson movie is based on. the passion?

employee: sure, our bibles are located—

customer: no, not the bible. i need the book the passion is based on.

employee: right, the bible.

customer: no! the passion!

 

that's one movie tie-in that would've come in handy.

 

LOL

[ProfLorax]

There are so many posts that have made me snort today... Who do I have to pay to get a higher daily quota of upvotes?! 

 

@lisajay: HA! Oh jeez...

 

@asleepawake: HA! I'm sure I suggested The Bell Jar, but alas; this was during the Eat, Pray, Love craze. I really should have just told her that The Bell Jar was the European title for Eat, Pray, Love. I could have saved her so much boredom and disappointment... Plus, imagine how confused she would have been at her book club! 

[DontHate]

confusing people in book clubs should totally be a thing that booksellers do.

[KeelyMK]

It's a life of perpetual insecurity and rejection. Which we put up with because it is fun and wonderful and satisfying!

lol. When I talked to one of my profs about getting in the other day I was like, "I'm just so afraid that one day they're going to discover me - everyone is going to find out I'm just a charlatan who dresses up words all pretty for money" etc

And he's like, "yeah, we're always afraid of being found out too. That feeling never goes away".

oh, great. good to know

[katja454]

i feel like we need a veterans-of-borders thread. 

 

Seconded. I think you all would appreciate this: http://www.amazon.com/Weird-Things-Customers-Say-Bookstores/dp/1468301284. My parents gave it to me after I worked in a bookstore for a while... 

[beet-nik]

Seconded. I think you all would appreciate this: http://www.amazon.com/Weird-Things-Customers-Say-Bookstores/dp/1468301284. My parents gave it to me after I worked in a bookstore for a while... 

 

Why don't I own this?!

[practical cat]

lol. When I talked to one of my profs about getting in the other day I was like, "I'm just so afraid that one day they're going to discover me - everyone is going to find out I'm just a charlatan who dresses up words all pretty for money" etc

And he's like, "yeah, we're always afraid of being found out too. That feeling never goes away".

oh, great. good to know

I think this might actually be true of every profession. I can't count how many really easy jobs I have had (been working crappy jobs for about 8 years now) where I have just been waiting for someone to notice that I wasn't good enough. If I were the POTUS, I would just be constantly waiting for the country to realize they've made a terrible mistake. I'd be hoping that was youthful insecurity that I would grow out of but plenty of real adults feel it I guess.

There are no right answers, guys.

[It's (Not) About Me]

lol. When I talked to one of my profs about getting in the other day I was like, "I'm just so afraid that one day they're going to discover me - everyone is going to find out I'm just a charlatan who dresses up words all pretty for money" etc

And he's like, "yeah, we're always afraid of being found out too. That feeling never goes away".

oh, great. good to know

Oh, GREAT. I guess we should start getting used to it? Because I have felt that way for as long as I can remember.