Post-Acceptance Stress & Misc. Banter

[no_foam_cappuccino]

I've been accepted to one school so far and am thinking about it obsessively. Is there a risk of looking overeager in pursuing information about the program immediately (i.e. taking up the head of PhD acceptance on her offer to talk over the phone)? Or would it be better to wait until the rest of my responses trickle in first?

[dazedandbemused]

I've been accepted to one school so far and am thinking about it obsessively. Is there a risk of looking overeager in pursuing information about the program immediately (i.e. taking up the head of PhD acceptance on her offer to talk over the phone)? Or would it be better to wait until the rest of my responses trickle in first?

 

Definitely call her up. I'm a fan of the staggered approach; better to have more concrete info about the program now, so you can mull it over a bit, than trying to get all the info from all of your programs at once when your future acceptances arrive. Especially if it's one that you feel strongly about.

Edited February 20, 2013 by dazedandbemused

[Taco Superior]

It's a life of perpetual insecurity and rejection. Which we put up with because it is fun and wonderful and satisfying!

 

Also, precisely what DontHate said about it being akin to teenagerhood! Man, that depresses me but it's accurate.

 

Curious: in what way are you constantly being rejected during your Ph.D. program? You mean papers not getting accepted and such?

 

Anyway, I'm getting a preview of such things already: nominated for a competitive fellowship on top of base funding (which is already great) but the fellowship has 8 folks nominated and only 3 "winners." Got to write an essay for it by next week. I don't want to let the dept down who nominated me! So ya, I see the perpetual insecurity aspect. On the other hand, there's the being grateful for the opportunity aspect.

[no_foam_cappuccino]

Definitely call her up. I'm a fan of the staggered approach; better to have more concrete info about the program now, so you can mull it over a bit, than trying to get all the info from all of your programs at once when your future acceptances arrive. Especially if it's one that you feel strongly about.

Thanks so much. That makes a lot of sense to me. Also, congratulations on getting into UT Austin!

[dazedandbemused]

Thanks! My excitement has been reduced to a slow simmer, but let me tell you, the two days after I got in were spent randomly squealing like a little girl and not sleeping because I couldn't stop thinking about it. It was definitely a super mature reaction

[It's (Not) About Me]

So glad that someone else on here worked at Borders hahaha. I totally know what you're talking about and I definitely agree! Though that had to be one of the most laid-back jobs I've ever had. Not to mention...bookstore + English major = way too big of a bookshelf at home.

Guys... How am I going to move my book collection to a different state? I think it's going to become sentient and fight back.

[beet-nik]

Guys... How am I going to move my book collection to a different state? I think it's going to become sentient and fight back.

 

That's been my biggest worry for like a month now and I haven't even heard back from any schools yet!

[AurantiacaStella]

Reinforced super heavy legal boxes are great for books, and they fold down so you can save them for the next move. I had 12 for the move to my master's program, and I think I might have to get 12 more for this move...

[Troppman]

Moving books is going to be a huge pain, especially with ruptured disks in the spine! This question might have already been answered but please share your thoughts:

1)Already in at one of top two choices

2) seven programs to hear from and 2 interviews coming soon (one's a 10 hour drive away and one is over skype)

3)The 10 hour drive one is for a program with no to minimal funding, and I'm in at a place that hooks me up well. 

4) The main other school that I would love to hear from said they won't be notifying for another four weeks, whereas the school that accepted me with perfect fit and funding asked to hear back within the week as there are many on the waiting list (I officially have longer, but I agree with them--why monopolize acceptance slots when plenty of qualified people are stressing out over it like I was?)

THE QUESTION: is it in bad taste to call other programs and let them know that i am a commodity and that if they want to place a bid they should do so really soon? I would phrase this differently, of course. Should I just go accept at what is ultimately a dream school, or take time to weigh future options? 

Edited February 21, 2013 by StephanieDelacour

[ErnestPWorrell]

Moving books is going to be a huge pain, especially with ruptured disks in the spine! This question might have already been answered but please share your thoughts:

1)Already in at one of top two choices

2) seven programs to hear from and 2 interviews coming soon (one's a 10 hour drive away and one is over skype)

3)The 10 hour drive one is for a program with no to minimal funding, and I'm in at a place that hooks me up well.

4) The main other school that I would love to hear from said they won't be notifying for another four weeks, whereas the school that accepted me with perfect fit and funding asked to hear back within the week as there are many on the waiting list (I officially have longer, but I agree with them--why monopolize acceptance slots when plenty of qualified people are stressing out over it like I was?)

THE QUESTION: is it in bad taste to call other programs and let them know that i am a commodity and that if they want to place a bid they should do so really soon? I would phrase this differently, of course. Should I just go accept at what is ultimately a dream school, or take time to weigh future options?

Drink an entire bottle of wine before you send any emails. Let your heart do the typing. Also, congrats!

Edited February 21, 2013 by ErnestPWorrell

[mostlytoasty]

Advice? School X already bought me a plane ticket but since then I have more or less made up that I will not attend their program. I don't have a final decision yet, but nevertheless I think they aren't the best fit. Do I cause a ruckus and have them cancel my ticket (non refundable) or go to not burn bridges? The DGS was pretty transparent with me earlier that I should visit even if I wasn't sure so that I could make the best decision, but I want to be fair to them too.

[HHEoS]

If it were me I'd visit. Make the most of it. Think of it as a vacation. Do some networking. Meeting the profs at School X might prove useful to you in the future. I've been advised that one should never burn bridges in academia, because you never know when someone might be useful to you/your projects in the future. Hope that helps.

[Troppman]

Advice? School X already bought me a plane ticket but since then I have more or less made up that I will not attend their program. I don't have a final decision yet, but nevertheless I think they aren't the best fit. Do I cause a ruckus and have them cancel my ticket (non refundable) or go to not burn bridges? The DGS was pretty transparent with me earlier that I should visit even if I wasn't sure so that I could make the best decision, but I want to be fair to them too.

I post mainly to affirm your angst, in the words of J-Hova: "No answers to these trick questions, no time, shit stressin." If it is not a burden on your current work/project load, I lean towards advising you to go. Although I know that there are plenty of wait-listed candidates for some of the programs that I've turned down, it still feels awkward and tricky when I attempt to best phrase e-mails of thanks but no thanks purport--especially when these institutions are affirming me in ways that I've thirsted for. I say this to say that I feel you. Who knows what good could come from you going?; there seem to be very few downsides. At the same time, if your mind is made on another program: would the peace of mind that comes with accepting an offer and withdrawing other applications trump the angst of weighing several great options? I keep reminding myself, on this note, that i'de rather not know and that I can't see the future anyway. I've accepted a great offer and withdrawn my other applications. Again, it would absolutely be my right to hold on to multiple options to the last minute and make the best informed decision; at the same time, what about people anxiously waiting on a list.... blah! Anyway, keep us posted on the decision. Sorry for rambling...

[Ategenos]

Guys... How am I going to move my book collection to a different state? I think it's going to become sentient and fight back.

You think that's bad. I have to move my book collection to a different country. I am just going to have to be very harsh, and give most of 'em up.

[Datatape]

Visit.  Be gracious and charming.  Use this as an excellent opportunity to network with people in your field.  Thank them for having you.  When you get back, inform them of your decision as soon as you have solidified it.  You never know when a program will knock your socks off and be perfect.  I remember last year, one student turned down a Ph.D. offer from a much higher-ranked program for a M.A./Ph.D. from a program he completely and utterly fell in love with when he visited.

[jazzyd]

If it were me I'd visit. Make the most of it. Think of it as a vacation. Do some networking. Meeting the profs at School X might prove useful to you in the future. I've been advised that one should never burn bridges in academia, because you never know when someone might be useful to you/your projects in the future. Hope that helps.

 

 

Visit.  Be gracious and charming.  Use this as an excellent opportunity to network with people in your field.  Thank them for having you.  When you get back, inform them of your decision as soon as you have solidified it.  You never know when a program will knock your socks off and be perfect.  I remember last year, one student turned down a Ph.D. offer from a much higher-ranked program for a M.A./Ph.D. from a program he completely and utterly fell in love with when he visited.

 

I was thinking of this problem for a school that I have yet to buy a plane ticket for, but will/would be reimbursing me if I did.

 

A professor I talked to brought up the fact that he wasn't such a fan of funded visits, because he felt that money would be better contributed to fellowship funding for students, which is an interesting point I hadn't thought of. While I would LOVE to visit University A, if I'm pretty confident University B has more faculty that I could work with in my area, wouldn't it be wasteful to use up that $500 that could go to a student who actually attends and needs the money?

[Troppman]

I was thinking of this problem for a school that I have yet to buy a plane ticket for, but will/would be reimbursing me if I did.

 

A professor I talked to brought up the fact that he wasn't such a fan of funded visits, because he felt that money would be better contributed to fellowship funding for students, which is an interesting point I hadn't thought of. While I would LOVE to visit University A, if I'm pretty confident University B has more faculty that I could work with in my area, wouldn't it be wasteful to use up that $500 that could go to a student who actually attends and needs the money?

This makes sense; and if it is a larger bureaucratic issue, which it is, voting with/against the dollar is sound. I like the way your professor thinks. This is in line with the whole hold on to many acceptances until the last minute vs. going with the gut/informed decision and withdrawing applications/offers smoothly elsewhere debate... 

[AurantiacaStella]

Advice? School X already bought me a plane ticket but since then I have more or less made up that I will not attend their program. I don't have a final decision yet, but nevertheless I think they aren't the best fit. Do I cause a ruckus and have them cancel my ticket (non refundable) or go to not burn bridges? The DGS was pretty transparent with me earlier that I should visit even if I wasn't sure so that I could make the best decision, but I want to be fair to them too.

 

 

You should go. What jazzy dubois's prof said about saving the visit money for the students that will actually attend doesn't apply here because the plane ticket has already been purchased. Also, the visit could really change your mind, as Datatape said. After visiting one of my programs, I have very strong/different feelings about the program as a whole and the people that I met there than I could have possibly had/known if I had not visited.

[HHEoS]

I was thinking of this problem for a school that I have yet to buy a plane ticket for, but will/would be reimbursing me if I did.

 

A professor I talked to brought up the fact that he wasn't such a fan of funded visits, because he felt that money would be better contributed to fellowship funding for students, which is an interesting point I hadn't thought of. While I would LOVE to visit University A, if I'm pretty confident University B has more faculty that I could work with in my area, wouldn't it be wasteful to use up that $500 that could go to a student who actually attends and needs the money?

 

If the ticket isn't bought yet, that's a different situation from the one that mostlytoasty originally asked about. If it were me in that scenario, I might just not go. Or maybe I would for the sake of networking and/or solidifying my decision. 

 

As for your prof's idea: while it is noble, and I'm a fan of it, I don't think programs have that kind of option when it comes to the use of their budget allocations. From my experience working in college administration, I've found that there's an awful lot of red tape associated with moving moneys allocated for X to moneys allocated for Y (if Y does even exist). I don't know if administration would go through that trouble to reallocate $500. Still, I like the idea. 

Edited February 22, 2013 by HHEoS

[mostlytoasty]

Thanks all for your helpful replies. I will go ahead and visit, I think it's for the best. Post-AS really is stressful! Good luck to those still waiting and on lists, I will try to make my decisions as quick as possible!

[Swagato]

So lyk...I guess I can finally join this thread. As I've posted in the freakout and the film studies threads, I was informed of my acceptance (pending Graduate School signing off on it) to Yale's joint PhD in History of Art and Film Studies. In a lot of non-academic ways, this is a wonderful thing to happen.

 

My wife and I already reside in NYC, so the move will not be a very serious one. We're a big fan of temperate-cool weather, meaning I'd rather be in New Haven than, say, California. Her family lives in NYC too, so that's another plus. I don't yet know my funding details, but I don't believe I'd have cause for concern. I'm greatly relieved that there will be no onerous teaching duties, yet I'm aware that Yale Film emphasizes teaching experience, and makes for ample opportunities--so I don't lose either way. And finally, being in a joint program means I'll have at least some advantage years down the line when I go on the job market, as (hopefully!) I will be able to fish for jobs in two fields (which, admittedly, are drawing ever closer together). 

 

Plus, I already have met (virtually) at least one person off here who is also headed to Yale, though in a different program--would love to know of others!

[jazzyd]

I had a meeting with my mentor and that was sufficient enough of wake up call and now I'm back to warm fuzzies (I can't always say that about such meetings!). I did not mention my brief thoughts about reapplying, though I did mention that I likely had implicit rejections at certain places. His reassured me that University X is unmatched as far as not only star faculty, but faculty who actually work with students, in the area that I want to go into, in addition to providing me with an atmosphere that will be intellectually challenging (and maybe not so much give me the warm fuzzies all the time). The positive note about not getting into 'big name' (at least what those outside the field would consider big name) places is that I won't be "seduced" by a name (hmmm, sounds like me) without critically looking at a program specifically.

 

Needless to say, everyone here was right, I just needed a few days to wallow in pity before seeing the light! He did encourage me to go to visits and it sounds like, as HHEoS said, it's not like the money allocated for travel expenses would be redirected right to fellowship funds in the case that I didn't use them. In fact, since it's a reimbursement, it sounds like the money doesn't really 'appear' until after the plans have been made. 

 

So lyk...I guess I can finally join this thread. As I've posted in the freakout and the film studies threads, I was informed of my acceptance (pending Graduate School signing off on it) to Yale's joint PhD in History of Art and Film Studies. In a lot of non-academic ways, this is a wonderful thing to happen.

 

My wife and I already reside in NYC, so the move will not be a very serious one. We're a big fan of temperate-cool weather, meaning I'd rather be in New Haven than, say, California. Her family lives in NYC too, so that's another plus. I don't yet know my funding details, but I don't believe I'd have cause for concern. I'm greatly relieved that there will be no onerous teaching duties, yet I'm aware that Yale Film emphasizes teaching experience, and makes for ample opportunities--so I don't lose either way. And finally, being in a joint program means I'll have at least some advantage years down the line when I go on the job market, as (hopefully!) I will be able to fish for jobs in two fields (which, admittedly, are drawing ever closer together). 

 

Plus, I already have met (virtually) at least one person off here who is also headed to Yale, though in a different program--would love to know of others!

 

Wow congratulations! That's great that you'll be able to stay in the area (geographically speaking) and go to a dream program at the same time! In other news, I just received my official rejection from them

[asleepawake]

The positive note about not getting into 'big name' (at least what those outside the field would consider big name) places is that I won't be "seduced" by a name (hmmm, sounds like me) without critically looking at a program specifically.

 

Of course it is all relative, but in what universe are Brown and University of Chicago not "big names" regardless of field? Isn't Chicago like #3 or #4 in general University rankings?

Edited February 22, 2013 by asleepawake

[jazzyd]

Of course it is all relative, but in what universe are Brown and University of Chicago not "big names" regardless of field? Isn't Chicago like #3 or #4 in general University rankings?

 

I think he meant to the extent that telling a friend "Oh I got into UChicago" wouldn't resonate like "Oh I got into Yale". This isn't a reflection on the programs, just the general public perception of one university versus another. Which shouldn't but unfortunately does influence where students choose to attend if given options.

[asleepawake]

I think he meant to the extent that telling a friend "Oh I got into UChicago" wouldn't resonate like "Oh I got into Yale". This isn't a reflection on the programs, just the general public perception of one university versus another. Which shouldn't but unfortunately does influence where students choose to attend if given options.

 

I guess so, but I think most people know that UChicao is a really fantastic school, and Brown is an Ivy.

 

Most of my childhood Ivy dreams didn't focus on Harvard or Yale, though. It was all about Princeton. This is why: