What about roommates?

[Dal PhDer]

I know! So scary!! It's really amazing what some people can do...it seems like there are more and more dangerous people out there!

It's said, 99% of roommates are perfectly fine...it's the 1% that makes you cringe!

[sociologo]

Ok...so I know this is tasteless...and yet...I still have to post this because as I read it, I was reminded of this thread.

I apologize in advance!

http://usnews.msnbc....wer-tool-knives

This is the sort of stuff my mother shows me anytime I'm about to move in with someone/somewhere new. Although, I got a one bedroom this time around, and I'm wondering if she'll start sending me articles about the horrors of a young woman living alone. She always finds those websites where it shows the crime rates in a city or where the rapists live in your neighborhood. So full of positivity...

Edited May 25, 2012 by arandall

[ktel]

What happened to that man is terrible, but did you look at the mug shots? These people did NOT look like people you would want to live with. I would like to think I would know better and be able to recognize delinquent people. That's what they were, it's not like they were hidden psychopaths.

[Hank Scorpio]

Thank God that happens so much less often up here in the great white north!

[K.Ash]

Out of three roommate situations I've had, only one of them was a pleasant experience. I'm not exactly pumped to return to this way of living after 3.5 yrs on my own. That said, I'm moving from a small city to a major metro area. It'd be a miracle to pay what I currently do for a 1 bdrm, for my portion of the rent in a 3 bdrm. I'm not taking on additional debt for cost of living, so roommates are kind of essential. I am fairly optimistic since it was the last roommate out of the three experiences that was best. We're actually meeting in the coming weeks to check out potential apartments, and of course to make sure none of the others are absolutely insane

Also, to the OP - I know when I say roommates, I'm talking about sharing an apartment but having my own bedroom. No way in heck am I sharing a bedroom with someone I don't really know. Particularly given scary crap like the link posted above, I will be checking for locks on the doors until I trust these chicks lol.

In terms of finding them, my grad program has a listserv and google group... so many people have been connecting that way.

[laurissimo]

I just signed an individual lease in a 3-br/3-ba place. The cool thing is that the people at the office understood my needs as a grad student, and already have potential roommates in mind for me (other grad students who also signed leases). I know individual leases are a more undergrad type thing, but if you don't have the cash, you just don't have the cash. I'm saving $4000-5000/year at LEAST by living with other people. $470/month, all-inclusive vs the alternative. And if I hate it, I'll move out second year. But agreed, it is a great way to meet people in a new city!

[juilletmercredi]

Mug shots are worse than most people's actual appearances, and you can't tell whether someone is a psychopath just by looking at them.

I've always lived with flatmates, with the exception of the three years in college I was an RA, and I've always enjoyed the experience. Two of my flatmates are lifelong friends, and two of the people I've stayed with during summer programs are still friends with me, too. I love living with others; I feel lonely by myself. It's nice to have someone else for the companionship. Plus I don't think it's worth paying the extra $300-400 it would cost in my city to live alone.

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

I have a question. It's not totally related to roommates/housing but it can be. When you get accepted into a grad program (since they usually accept multiple students for each incoming term) are you given like the names and contacts of the other incoming students? I don't know if that would be violation of privacy or something, but it could be useful in assimilating to the school. You would be able to possibly find your soon to be classmates on Facebook or something a few months before the program starts and discuss things like becoming roommates. Just curious.

[Dal PhDer]

We weren't given the names in either of my programs...BUT...I would contact your admin person in the department, because I do remember getting group emails asking if people were looking for roommates as someone needed one. You could always ask if they know of any students who have contacted them regarding roommates, and perhaps keep your name if they do. In my experience, departments are normally pretty easy going about that stuff...but again, it probably varies.

Also- you might want to get in contact with the student association that is linked to your program/department (if you have one)- they would be able to help, and also get you some contacts for the up coming year!

[rising_star]

I had housemates my during my MA and the first two years of my PhD. They were a mix of experiences and, during that time, I lived with both undergrads and grads. Surprisingly, the best situation of all of those was the year I lived with an undergrad senior. We're still friends years later.

That said, finding a good housemate can be tricky. In my case, I was typically moving into a place that was already furnished because I didn't own anything and/or didn't have anything worth moving. I found my most awesome roommate through the weekly alternative newspaper (you know, the kind that's available for free on newsstands and has a classified section) but since then have relied more on Craig's List. The upside is that you can post a "housing wanted" ad and specify exactly what you're looking for. BTW, if you do this, I recommend going with a CL anonymous email and using a separate email account to reply to people, especially at first. It also means that you can browse the ads and reply to them with specifics about who you are. Have a good idea of what you want in a roommate and don't settle for anything else, even if you start to panic.

When I first moved to PhD city, I had signed a month-to-month lease with someone I met via Craig's List. The situation turned out to be a disaster and I gave my month's notice about two weeks after moving in. But, via a housing wanted ad, I was able to find a new place to move into before the lease even expired. So, if you can't get to know someone super-well before moving in, try to get a short-term lease, even though it may initially cost you a little bit more.

[bedalia]

I have a question. It's not totally related to roommates/housing but it can be. When you get accepted into a grad program (since they usually accept multiple students for each incoming term) are you given like the names and contacts of the other incoming students? I don't know if that would be violation of privacy or something, but it could be useful in assimilating to the school. You would be able to possibly find your soon to be classmates on Facebook or something a few months before the program starts and discuss things like becoming roommates. Just curious.

My department initiates a round of introductions by email. It's a nice way to start to get to know everyone. But keep in mind, everyone is trying to impress one other so the intros can be a bit inflated. It's funny several months or more into the program to go back and read everyone's introductions. By that time you know each other better and pretences have been dropped (or can be seen through). After this exchange of emails, some cohorts have set up Facebook groups before their programs started. A few people in one of my programs inquired about sharing accommodations (and ultimately opted to live alone).