scared of grad school before i'm even in!

[SymmetryOfImperfection]

I am attending a partially funded MS in Applied Physics in the fall 2012 at a large research university. My BS was in Chemistry, emphasis in Chemical Physics, with research experience in materials science, though no publications, and industry experience at an pharmaceutical lab. The undergrad institution was also a large research university with a moderate-strong reputation in chemistry and physics. Sorry if this goes long, I just need advice, or maybe just to vent.

Originally, I was very confident about my ability to finish this MS with a high GPA and some publications, and move onto my PhD after gaining some experience. However, I am really starting to doubt myself now. Here's the thing: my GPA is very very weak with some terrible grades in important classes. That's because originally, I was a much less quantitative, much less rigorous major that found out that it just wasn't for me, and transferred late in the program so I had to cram classes. No excuses, I took some classes that were too hard for me at the time, too much pressure, habits not good enough, and just couldn't make it in some classes. Learned my lesson or so I thought. I'm just so thankful that I got into a MS program.

This year, I've been clawing my way back up slowly, with a 3.9 GPA in the first half in all upper division chemistry and physics classes taking a full load of classes while doing research. However, just a few weeks ago, I got shaken up badly by a terrible, terrible Quantum Mechanics test (the last of several midterms given before a comprehensive final). Previously, I had always scored a standard deviation above the mean, but on that exam, I suffered a total mental meltdown. If my score exceeded 20% for that one I'd be amazed. That shook me up going into the final, and though I'm much more confident in the final since I could answer every question and I checked my work to make sure it was reasonable for as many problems as possible, I'm scared, especially because the teacher gives very little partial credit.

In the fall I will be having all difficult core graduate classes, like math methods, quantum mechanics and classical mechanics. What do I do? The price for failure is much higher than in undergrad now, if I flunk out of this MS I will probably never have a chance like this again. I feel like a fake scientist that can't think quantitatively.

Is there anything I should be doing to increase my preparation? My current plan is to study like I was still in school over the summer and teach myself next year's classes in advance through doing hundreds of problems, but is that realistic? Has anyone tried that before? If so, what were your experiences? I don't think I'm mentally prepared either and don't know what to do really.

Edited June 15, 2012 by SymmetryOfImperfection

[Dal PhDer]

Be prepared to work. Set up study groups. Get a tutor from a previous year. And just read, practice, read, listen, read, practice. If you apply yourself, you'll be fine. Grad school isn't easy, but many of us doubt our abilities and intelligence every day...one thing I have learned about grad school is often the successful students aren't the most brilliant students- their the hardest working students.

[SymmetryOfImperfection]

Be prepared to work. Set up study groups. Get a tutor from a previous year. And just read, practice, read, listen, read, practice. If you apply yourself, you'll be fine. Grad school isn't easy, but many of us doubt our abilities and intelligence every day...one thing I have learned about grad school is often the successful students aren't the most brilliant students- their the hardest working students.

How many hours do you work per day at classes? Class+research? Should I time myself with a stopwatch?

[Dal PhDer]

For my degree you did all your course work the first year, and then you began your comprehensives. Once you pass your comprehensives, then you go onto your dissertation. However, I still read a lot of work related to my research during my courses, and also directed any course assignment towards my dissertation project.

Time spent will depend on the course and program. During my first year, I would say I worked 9-5 M-F doing course work and research reading.

Time spent is really going to depend on a bunch of individual and situational factors. Just be prepared for a lot of work, and you'll be fine!

[Shari A Williams]

For my degree you did all your course work the first year, and then you began your comprehensives. Once you pass your comprehensives, then you go onto your dissertation. However, I still read a lot of work related to my research during my courses, and also directed any course assignment towards my dissertation project.

Time spent will depend on the course and program. During my first year, I would say I worked 9-5 M-F doing course work and research reading.

Time spent is really going to depend on a bunch of individual and situational factors. Just be prepared for a lot of work, and you'll be fine!

I find that when I do that consistently enough, I get more done, PLUS I get to relax some weeknights.

Really, consistency is key. Even if you get super frustrated at the difficulty and volume of work you get, and you end up taking a break or something, it's really important to just keep working. Any work you can do every day is useful, even if it doesn't seem that way initially.

[SymmetryOfImperfection]

I find that when I do that consistently enough, I get more done, PLUS I get to relax some weeknights.

Really, consistency is key. Even if you get super frustrated at the difficulty and volume of work you get, and you end up taking a break or something, it's really important to just keep working. Any work you can do every day is useful, even if it doesn't seem that way initially.

For my degree you did all your course work the first year, and then you began your comprehensives. Once you pass your comprehensives, then you go onto your dissertation. However, I still read a lot of work related to my research during my courses, and also directed any course assignment towards my dissertation project.

Time spent will depend on the course and program. During my first year, I would say I worked 9-5 M-F doing course work and research reading.

Time spent is really going to depend on a bunch of individual and situational factors. Just be prepared for a lot of work, and you'll be fine!

Thank you two so much for the advice. I guess the problem is mental strength to not get frustrated at problems that seem too difficult. What keeps you motivated though? It seems really hard to focus at times, when you only think you are motivated, and not really.

[Dal PhDer]

Well, I like to realize that grad school isn't suppose to be easy- it's suppose to challenge you and make you question your abilities. There is something to be said about feeling like you can't do it, but pushing through it and saying to yourself "you can do it" .

I think it's really important also to have a balance. I make sure I have down time and get out with friends...I vent and scream...and sometimes cry. But I love my topic, I am interested, and i take one day at a time.

You will be fine! Grad school is an amazing experience where you grow and realize how strong, determined and motivated you are. If you find something difficult and hard, be happy- it means you are learning and gaining experience! If you knew everything, there would be no point in doing grad school!

[crazygirl2012]

I'm starting in August, and I'm nervous too. Doing anything new can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. Of course we don't know if we can do it-- we haven't done it yet! But confidence takes time to build. It sounds like you love what you do and you're very willing to work hard and to find new ways to get things done. You'll be fine.

[SymmetryOfImperfection]

phew. just got my grades back. A in quantum mechanics and getting a shiny diploma in the mail a few weeks later. Thank you!

[nbnjoshi]

I'm starting to get the same blues. I had a biology major and desperately want to make it to neuroscience. I've already got the opportunity. But, doing computer programming and the study of signals , filters and core mathematics is proving to be very hard. I'm doubting my decision everyday. But things are also moving forward.