pre departure freak out

[MinervasOwl]

My program starts in a couple of weeks and as I prepare to fly overseas I am freaking out. What if I can't hack it? I already sold my car, paid a deposit on my apartment, and purchased tickets- so this is a big investment. What if it doesn't work out and I'm miserable? What if this was all wrong, applying for a PhD, saying yes to this program etc.

When I first heard from these guys I got a real bad feeling but I still went ahead and said yes. Later I was reading Blink and I felt quite stressed about that initial panic I felt when I heard back!

Anyone else feeling this way? It might be worse because I am 36 and can't really afford to make exploratory starts that may not work out.

[Pas]

One. Day. At. A. Time.

[Dal PhDer]

These are natural feelings that all students have throughout their grad school journey. You will have them before you start, and right until the end when you walk up on that stage and collect your diploma. I think these feelings and doubts are what make us successful at what we do. We always feel we are not equipped enough to make it, so we try extra hard to be successful, which really pays off.

Graduate school is an exciting experience where you will be met with happy, sad, challenging, inspiring, and exciting times. If you were not prepared and equipped for graduate school, you would not have received an acceptance!

[wildviolet]

I'm feeling like this, too. Maybe not as bad, but I had a thought the other day that I'm losing out on salary during the next five years that will most likely never be recouped.

I leave in less than one week. And I worry that I'm not going to be able to handle it--the coursework, the RA and TA positions, and the creative thinking that will lead to an outstanding dissertation. Official dissertation writing doesn't begin until maybe Year Three or Four in my program, but I'm already going in with the idea that I'll be thinking about my dissertation from Day One.

[ANDS!]

I dunno - I'd be super nervous too at that age attending an overseas program.

[new_to_kin]

It will be ok. I moved to the US from the Asia-Pacific region for grad school too and I think a lot of it is the anticipation of going to a new country where the customs and living arrangements are really different. I will be truthful and tell you that I cried a lot for the first while.

My advice is to try and befriend some locals (don't just stick with those from your home country). They will help you negotiate the differences. Be ready to laugh at your mistakes. Like when I told someone I would give them a "tinkle", meaning a phone call. It means something different over here, LOL. I've also asked to borrow a "rubber". Not great either.

So embrace the new culture and immerse yourself. You'll be far happier than if you create an island of ex-pats.

[lonelymonk]

One. Day. At. A. Time.

The best possible advice you can get

[Quader]

It will be ok. I moved to the US from the Asia-Pacific region for grad school too and I think a lot of it is the anticipation of going to a new country where the customs and living arrangements are really different. I will be truthful and tell you that I cried a lot for the first while.

My advice is to try and befriend some locals (don't just stick with those from your home country). They will help you negotiate the differences. Be ready to laugh at your mistakes. Like when I told someone I would give them a "tinkle", meaning a phone call. It means something different over here, LOL. I've also asked to borrow a "rubber". Not great either.

So embrace the new culture and immerse yourself. You'll be far happier than if you create an island of ex-pats.

That made me laugh

[commcrazy]

My general opinion on pre-departure anxiety--we're all too smart and worry about every possible thing that could go wrong. The first year/semester might be rough, but give it a chance. It might also be the greatest journey you've ever embarked upon.

My $0.02!

[MinervasOwl]

Thanks everyone I feel quite cheered up!

[waitinginvain?]

I'm older than you and just starting graduate school, so I don't think your age should be a consideration. I hope mine isn't! I heard that it takes three months to get used to a new place. Keep that in mind if you get homesick. Good luck!

[butterfingers2010]

I definitely understand your anxiety. I'm not moving overseas, but I'm making a huge lifestyle change in moving from a mid-size city to Chicago. I'm quitting a job that Iove, leaving my friends and family, and ditching my car in favor of public transportation. I don't know Chicago very well-in fact-have never spent more than a few days there at a time. I initially had very anxious (although not overtly bad) feelings when I made this decision, but I think it's normal and I think that what you're experiencing is totally normal, too! I know it will be a huge challenge in my life but I feel in my heart it will be worth it in the end. Life is all about taking chances. You have to take chances if you ever want to make changes in your life.

[SeriousSillyPutty]

Many schools have Christian groups that try to reach out to internationals and help them adjust. I recommend taking them up on the help, even if you are also up-front with them about not being open to changes in your religious views. They're not doing it as a gimmick; they really do want to help because that's part of the Christian world view. It can be an easy way to meet locals who are being intentional about meeting new people, and who can help you navigate the new culture.

Best of luck!

[newpsyche]

Thank you to you all! I'm suffering some panicky, terrified, anxious, etc. feelings right now, too--and your posts made me feel much better. (:

[isawstars]

I don't have any advice... I just want to say this is a great thread! I am moving from North Carolina to California and I am definitely getting the jitters.

[gopher47]

Oh my God I am with you. Only I keep freaking out about my Visa not getting approved in time, getting stuck at the border and now allowed in haha.

[BrokenRecord]

Geek! I know the feeling, OP. I am having those same feelings now in moving from the North Carolina to the Seattle, WA in about a month. Although I know I know I made the right decision, I can't help but to think if I am doing things right! It is all irrational as the unknown is breeds anxiety, but it is nice to know that I am not crazy!

[newpsyche]

All these North Carolina emigrants! I just left N.C. to go across the country, too.

[Gamarino]

I just left N.C. too! I moved to New England for my Master's program. I identify with your doubts. I'm one of only a few people I know who a ) is going to graduate school and b ) who is moving so far from home. Sometimes I wonder if I'm smart enough to be in my program, or if this is a major waste of time...I have friends who got jobs immediately after school and I wonder if I should have just done that (don't think I could have though). Some of them make me feel like I'm not working as hard as them, because I'm still a "student" and I'm avoiding the so-called "real world" for another 2+ years. I don't know. You just have to remember why you applied for your program in the first place. For me, I've always wanted to go to graduate school. I love academics, and I love my field. The pre-departure is undoubtedly frightening, but once you've settled and begun your program, you will adapt. We all adapt. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Just think about how this experience is going to change you. You'll be more confident (I assume.) and self-fulfilled. I begin my program tomorrow, so I'm trying to remind myself of the same things. Good luck!

Edited August 19, 2012 by Gamarino

[jldstudio]

uuugh yes. My brain is feeling a little scrambled between moving stress and nervousness over how things are going to go once I'm in the department. I'm trying to just focus on the work of packing, organizing and cleaning to keep myself distracted. I'm driving from VA to CA! I'm not driving alone though which makes a big difference. Also my first time moving out of Virginia. We will have time to make a few sight-seeing stops along the way so I try to remind myself to slow down and enjoy the trip.