Anyone else nervous about the "consequences" of not getting accepted anywhere?

[ion_exchanger]

What is considered old? If I am successful this application cycle, I will start grad school at 26. I personally didn't want to start that late since the average length of my program is 5-7 years, but I guess others wouldn't consider that late. There are people that I graduated with who are older than me still applying for medical and graduate school. I've heard that schools might look favorably on mature candidates. As long as YOU don't feel too old, you should be fine.

[Winteriscoming]

What is considered old? If I am successful this application cycle, I will start grad school at 26. I personally didn't want to start that late since the average length of my program is 5-7 years, but I guess others wouldn't consider that late. There are people that I graduated with who are older than me still applying for medical and graduate school. I've heard that schools might look favorably on mature candidates. As long as YOU don't feel too old, you should be fine.

Yep, agreed. I'll be 27 if I get into grad school and I've heard of plenty of people that are 30+ that are in grad school. If that's what you want to do, you're never too old. Plus maybe adcoms think that more mature applicants know better what they want to do because they have more experience (although that doesn't have to be true).

[Porridge]

I'm 35 this year. I think I'm a little older than you! It just worries me.

[ion_exchanger]

I say go for it. As long as you are alive and the desire is there, you should continue. My personal motto throughout this application season: "You miss 100% of the shots that you don't take".

[CodeBlue]

Hell, yes. Pure terror. It's not so much a fear of "what am I going to do," but rather, a nagging fear of the shame that might accompany being rejected by the programs I'm applying to. Part of applying to any school-whether one wants to admit it or not-is asking oneself the question: am I good enough to get in? Perhaps that seems silly, but it is very much a lingering question for me. Socratic method helps: "Am I still intelligent and hard-working if I do not get into graduate program x, y, and z?" Fatalism is somewhat comforting. The die is cast. Only Fortune knows. None of those approaches really drive out any of that fear, at least for me.

In a few months I'll know. And, regardless of whether or not I am chosen, by July--just 7 months from now--my life will be nothing like it is right now: from the chair I sit in to the bed I try to sleep in every night to my idea of what the future could look like.

It's never what we know that is really terrifying. It's what we don't know...and the worst part of not knowing?

It's that we don't know what we don't know.

[GuitarSlayer]

Well. Keep calm and carry on, I suppose. I'll get a job teaching community college with my master's, work on some articles and attend conferences.. and if necessary, go back to the 9-5 as I was before. Until it's a done deal, you can't panic. Random, wacky stuff happens in the world of academia.

[cherubie]

Hell, yes. Pure terror. It's not so much a fear of "what am I going to do," but rather, a nagging fear of the shame that might accompany being rejected by the programs I'm applying to. Part of applying to any school-whether one wants to admit it or not-is asking oneself the question: am I good enough to get in? Perhaps that seems silly, but it is very much a lingering question for me. Socratic method helps: "Am I still intelligent and hard-working if I do not get into graduate program x, y, and z?" Fatalism is somewhat comforting. The die is cast. Only Fortune knows. None of those approaches really drive out any of that fear, at least for me.

In a few months I'll know. And, regardless of whether or not I am chosen, by July--just 7 months from now--my life will be nothing like it is right now: from the chair I sit in to the bed I try to sleep in every night to my idea of what the future could look like.

It's never what we know that is really terrifying. It's what we don't know...and the worst part of not knowing?

It's that we don't know what we don't know.

I agree with the first part of this response. My main "fear" is disappointing myself, and ultimately, it comes down to prestige. Numerous people ask me "what" I am (i.e. my role in the lab), and somehow, the words "graduate student" sound more prestigious to them, and more worthy of their time. My family is counting on me to get in, as I am a first generation college student. When I was in high school, all they wanted was for me to go to college. When I went to a prestigious college, all they want is for me to graduate. Now? All the way is for me to get into grad school. I'm sure after that happens, "all they want" is the Nobel prize! I also don't want to tell my lab members that I "failed".

So this whole process is more about self-esteem to me and narcissism than it is about fear of not knowing what to do with my life. In college, I thought that not getting into med/law/grad school would mean I somehow vanish into thin air. Now, I realize there is a thing called a job and bills. Not getting in won't kill me, but it sure will hurt my sense of pride. From reading everyone else's responses, it seems that is the most fundamental fear...the fear of failing. Doesn't matter failing at what- it is just the fear that you actually TRIED and you're still not good enough.

Note: how many people in these forums actually "own up" to a poor GPA or poor GRE? Most people have an excuse like they didn't study enough, or that math was never their strong suit, or they somehow got screwed over. We don't have that luxury in graduate school applications. There is no excuse here other than you're just not good enough for the program.

[ion_exchanger]

Note: how many people in these forums actually "own up" to a poor GPA or poor GRE? Most people have an excuse like they didn't study enough, or that math was never their strong suit, or they somehow got screwed over. We don't have that luxury in graduate school applications. There is no excuse here other than you're just not good enough for the program.

Agreed. I studied my butt off for the math portion of the GRE, still wasn't satisfied. No one to blame but myself. Maybe I'm just not good enough at grasping the material. I can't blame my freshman year grades on anyone but myself. A lot of time I think I purposely didn't try hard, so that I could actually use the excuse that if I tried harder, I could have done better. I admittedly tried my hardest while studying for the GRE's, and still didn't do as well as I wanted.

[DaisyAdair]

Oh, I know my GRE is low. My verbal is OK, but the math is very low. I didn't study for the math. It is all on me.

I also have a couple of semesters with very low GPAs. I had to own up to them, and I was frank. I messed around and my grades reflect it. But then I worked my @ss off to get my degree and then went to a good master's program and did fine.

[cherubie]

My comment wasn't meant to bring out any insecurities. I was just responding to the OP, sorry if anyone got offended by it.

Edited December 18, 2012 by cherubie

[ion_exchanger]

My comment wasn't meant to bring out any insecurities. I was just responding to the OP, sorry if anyone got offended by it.

I personally wasn't offended. I absolutely understood what you were trying to say. We are all friends here :-)

[DaisyAdair]

My comment wasn't meant to bring out any insecurities. I was just responding to the OP, sorry if anyone got offended by it.

No offense here. I know I have weaknesses in my apps, and I am just hoping that the strengths will override the weaknesses.

[cleverfool]

I have to agree with everyone who's worried about asking recommenders again.

Also, I just got word that I'll be assigned more temporary responsibilities at work, in anticipation of my leaving in August. So, if I don't actually leave, I'm going to be stuck doing the work no one else wants, on top of being totally embarrassed about failing and having to ask my supervisors to do more letters.

Hang in there, everyone, and have a happy holiday from obsessively checking email.

[cherubie]

I have to agree with everyone who's worried about asking recommenders again.

Also, I just got word that I'll be assigned more temporary responsibilities at work, in anticipation of my leaving in August. So, if I don't actually leave, I'm going to be stuck doing the work no one else wants, on top of being totally embarrassed about failing and having to ask my supervisors to do more letters.

Hang in there, everyone, and have a happy holiday from obsessively checking email.

That sounds like a pretty lame situation. To make you feel better, I already told my lab i'm leaving regardless, so at least you still have a job!

[PhDreams]

Groan... I can't even fathom asking my recommeders for letters again after they were all so sure that I would get into various programs. Yet, I'm plagued by anxiety that I wont get in anywhere. I'm a roller coaster of highs and lows. I have a solid Plan B since I'm since I'm also applying to jobs right now, but sigh..... I just couldn't face them if I didn't get in. I'd feel like I disappointed all of them..and that... I suck.

[RiseofthePhoenix]

I think I'll just go to Europe and look for a teaching position there. The prospects of finding a teaching gig with a masters degree are much better in Europe than in the US me thinks.

Edited December 20, 2012 by RiseofthePhoenix

[firstsight]

I've been gnawing over this particular question for so long that I'm pretty sure I've given myself an ulcer. No, I really mean it, guys. Persistent stomach pain, right?

It doesn't help that LITERALLY only one place will have all three of my LORs by the deadline. >< I can't help but think that I'm already out of the running, before it's even began! begun? began? begun. Right? English majors?

addlebrained.

Anyhow, if I don't get in anywhere, I think I'm just going to pursue a different career altogether. I seriously don't think I could handle two years of rejections, which is what I could see that easily becoming. Oh car industry, how I loathe you but love the money you bring.... >.>

[nohika]

I agree with the first part of this response. My main "fear" is disappointing myself, and ultimately, it comes down to prestige. Numerous people ask me "what" I am (i.e. my role in the lab), and somehow, the words "graduate student" sound more prestigious to them, and more worthy of their time. My family is counting on me to get in, as I am a first generation college student. When I was in high school, all they wanted was for me to go to college. When I went to a prestigious college, all they want is for me to graduate. Now? All the way is for me to get into grad school. I'm sure after that happens, "all they want" is the Nobel prize! I also don't want to tell my lab members that I "failed".

So this whole process is more about self-esteem to me and narcissism than it is about fear of not knowing what to do with my life. In college, I thought that not getting into med/law/grad school would mean I somehow vanish into thin air. Now, I realize there is a thing called a job and bills. Not getting in won't kill me, but it sure will hurt my sense of pride. From reading everyone else's responses, it seems that is the most fundamental fear...the fear of failing. Doesn't matter failing at what- it is just the fear that you actually TRIED and you're still not good enough.

Note: how many people in these forums actually "own up" to a poor GPA or poor GRE? Most people have an excuse like they didn't study enough, or that math was never their strong suit, or they somehow got screwed over. We don't have that luxury in graduate school applications. There is no excuse here other than you're just not good enough for the program.

 

Ahhh, prestige... My whole family seems much more interested and happy with my sister who's a business major who wants to get her CPA than me who is applying to PhD programs. I think that comes from them not really knowing much /about/ PhD programs, but it still hurts.

 

I agree it's the fear of failure - for me, it's of disappointing others, as if not getting in will make me look worse in their eyes. I've had a bad past and not done so well (I was 19 and not very good at juggling priorities). I own up to it. It was my mistake. I wasn't mature enough to handle the situation well. It still sucks that one quarter can haunt me so badly. I own up not studying enough for the math section of the GRE, hehe. Although a 65% isn't that bad, it could be much better. I was just lazy.

[shadowclaw]

It's nice to see other people that have the same feelings as I have! If I didn't get in anywhere, I would certainly feel like a failure, but that's nothing compared to the embarassment of telling my recommenders I didn't get in anywhere, especially my adviser! When I first started my undergrad program, my plan was to get a good internship and then find a job after graduation. However, my adviser really pushed for me to think about grad school (he told me I was too smart not to go) and he's the one who really got me excited about the idea, and he was pretty excited about it, too. It would be terrible to tell him that I wasn't that smart after all.

[ion_exchanger]

I think that the worst part for me is that I have literally done everything that I could have done to be a competitive applicant. I retook classes to get a great GPA, I took 2 years to get more research experience, I have strong LOR's, I've edited my statement a million times. All of my recommenders are positive that I'll get in somewhere. If I don't, I don't know what I could do any differently. I will be so embarassed to tell them that I didn't get in anywhere, because it will truly be all my fault.

[BrookeSnow]

I'll add to the chorus. I have been working in an AmeriCorps program the last two years while I focused on grad school. My contract is up in July. I can't do this again, I suppose I could join the Peace Corps ( which is what most of my AmeriCorp coworkers are doing). I feel that if I don't get it I'll have stunted my progress in life while I get some dead end job for the next year so that I don't feel bad about leaving after the second round of grad school apps. 

[anaZep]

I was enrolled in a masters program 2011-2012 in a different state, but after deciding it wasn't quite what I wanted after all, I moved across the country to live with my parents while I apply for new programs.  I needed a job, so I'm working in a related field in a low-paying salaried position that I wouldn't have accepted were it not for the grad school plans.  Now I'm caught between a rock and a hard place because I'm not happy at my job, but unsure whether or not I'll get into grad school.  I've interviewed for different (much more exciting) positions, but I'm uncertain about proceeding with the interviews (second round coming up!) because, well, what if I get into grad school and have to leave within 6 months!?  But on the flip side, what if I don't get in anywhere, and then I'm stuck at this low-paying low-prestige job indefinitely!?  :sigh: woe is me.

[RubyBright]

Everyone is talking about their mentor being disappointed in them if they don't get in... am I the only one going through this process without a faculty mentor? I feel like an academic orphan!

[cleverfool]

Everyone is talking about their mentor being disappointed in them if they don't get in... am I the only one going through this process without a faculty mentor? I feel like an academic orphan!

No, you aren't alone! I've been out of school for several years, and my undergrad advisor is mostly retired and in another state, so I've been relying on my supervisors, whose only experience with this was at least a decade ago as international applicants. Thank goodness for this site, or I'd be completely in the dark.

[AhnyoungCoucou]

I don't want to tell my letter writers that I didn't get in anywhere. That is the scariest thought for me.

I completely know what you mean.

Starting from the time I submitted my last application, my biggest fear was letting my recommenders know that I didn't get in anywhere.

Especially because they kept mentioning that I had 'top schools' in my list. Were they hinting that I was aiming too high or just stating a fact? I don't know  

Anyhow, that scared me more than just the plain fact that I might not get in anywhere.