"Real" life versus "virtual" life

[wildviolet]

Hi y'all--So I've been thinking about this question as I find myself more and more in front of the computer (perhaps more on a philosophical and rhetorical level than anything else). Do you see your "virtual" lives on social media, forums like GC, YouTube, etc., less real than your "real" life? Or is everything pretty much in our heads? Just curious to see what GCers are thinking about this topic.

 

Right now, I'd have to say that my virtual life doesn't feel as real as my real life. In my head, there's a neat division between when I'm online and when I'm not. But, the interactions I have with people online, the laughs I get from watching YouTube videos, the emotions I feel when I read blog posts... these are all real. So then does it not matter what the stimulus is?

 

Thanks!

 

 

[TakeruK]

I don't think my "virtual" lives are "less real" than my real life. My reaction to e.g. a YouTube video, a blog post, or a GC thread is "real" and I think it's the same as the feelings/reactions from reading a good book, or watching a good movie, or feeling inspired by a great talk/seminar. When I'm on the Internet/virtual world, I don't feel like I'm "escaping" and putting my real life "on hold" while I entertain myself. Instead, it's just another way to interact with the world around us, in my opinion. For example, I can walk down the hall and ask my cohorts what they thought about the problem set we're working on, or make plans for dinner tonight etc. Or, I can shoot them a quick gmail chat message asking the same thing. Or I can pull out my phone and text them. Or email them. Or call them. In my mind, they are all equivalently "real interactions" -- the only difference is the medium. Of course, some things are easier to plan via one medium or another -- for example, I usually walk down the hall when I want to discuss science/homework since writing text is very limiting! 

 

Maybe I feel this way because I don't think there is a real division between when I'm online and when I'm not. I work most of the day on the computer and connected to others. When I go home, I am often on the computer -- it's where I get my entertainment. My wife and I pay for internet video services instead of cable TV for example. We also read stuff (news, interesting articles etc.) online and we would often discuss the stuff we read with each other with computers on our lap or next to us. If we wonder e.g. "is that guy in this tv show really the same as <kid in older movie>", we just pull out our phones or computers and look it up. I really enjoy the feeling that I can access almost any piece of information with little more effort than pulling out a book on my bookshelf and flipping to a page. Or make contact with a friend from across the continent/world with less effort than trying to figure out international calling codes. The "virtual" world is just another medium of doing "real world" communication to me. In fact, for communicating with people I don't know personally (e.g. banks, businesses etc.), it is my preferred method!

 

Some people also talk about the distinction between the "real" and "virtual" world because the Internet/"virtual" world allows for anonymity. I try to not be a different person online compared to in "real life" but I don't think that's exactly true. But I don't think one "version" of me is more real than the other. The main differences in the way I act is because of the medium, I think. On Facebook, email, or GC, everything I say (write) is recorded pretty much forever. I always keep this in mind when writing anything down so I might restrain myself a little bit. So maybe people who interact with me mostly in real life will have a different perception of me than someone who mostly talks to me online. On the other hand, I am not always able to properly pronounce every word and I feel I can express things much more clearly in writing than verbally. So, in "real life" interactions, sometimes I don't express everything I am thinking (either because I don't think I can properly do it, or because I tried but did not make sense).

 

I think most people act differently towards different groups of people in real life (e.g. employers, parents, childhood friends, etc.) and I view my slightly different online/"real life" personalities as an extension of this. I would like to think that anyone who knows me well online or in real life would see overwhelming similarities and only small differences. 

Edited January 24, 2013 by TakeruK

[TeaGirl]

I'm not sure what "real" is here. My reactions are real, however, the persona I may present online isn't the real me simply because it's limited. The comment or post or reaction is simply one very limited part of who I am. I don't really feel like there are two personalities, a virtual one and a real one. I think of it more as I'm me, and the online world may get to see a side or snapshot of who that is when I contribute something.

 

I have however suffered a little anxiousness over online things in a similar way to how I suffer in the real world. The difference is when something bugs me online, I can simply close the webpage, unsubscribe, hide the post, and then I really don't care anymore. I don't really know or have actual contact with these people, so I don't have to deal with them if I don't want to. While logically I know that they are real people and may sympathize with them, I don't really think of them as real people, at least not in the same way as people I actually know.

Edited January 24, 2013 by TeaGirl

[rising_star]

I have a community of people, largely academics in various fields, that I interact with regularly online. Some of them I've met in person, others I haven't. Most aren't even in my field. But, they're a network of grad students and junior faculty that I'm friends with and communicate with fairly often. Is that what you mean by "virtual"? I consider them my friends just as much as anyone else and, to be honest, when I talk about them, I don't typically mention that "oh well I only know so-and-so from online" because that isn't important. In a weird way, courtesy of social media and blogs, I probably know more about their lives than I do about the person I share an office with on campus.

[CarlieE]

This kind of like preaching to the choir. Obviously, most of us who use this forum regularly find that a "virtual" world is "real" enough to be worked into a part of our daily activities to some degree... My personal feeling is that a virtual reality is real - no quotations marks - for many of the reasons others have given above. I check in here the same way I might check in on a group lunch; only this is better since I can ignore a thread/conversation going on and just focus in on something I want to respond to. At a physical lunch meeting I would have to listen to some crap I really don't care about and have to smile or nod just to be courteous. HAH! 

 

But a lot of my friends with whom I have physical contact with (as opposed to purely mental, virtual contact with) find it a little odd and are somewhat embarrassed (for themselves) by the fact that I am so freely open about having a virtual life. There's still a lot of taboo around online sociality; there's an implication that this is a "last resort", a place for people who can't connect on a physical level.. The physical world is still the "ideal", the standard, the "norm" - even though most people DO have a facebook account and use it regularly or some other form of virtual interaction... The paradigm is shifting though I think... imagine what sociality will be 100 years from now! 

 

 

I'm kinda hoping one of those Online Forum NaySayers gets on this thread with a CAP LOCK post like: "YOU FORUM LOSERS! THIS IS SOOOOOO STUPID. I WOULD NEVER BE CAUGHT DEAD POSTING ON AN ONLINE FORUM - EXCEPT NOW TO POINT OUT HOW STOOPID YOU ALL ARE!" and then we can have a good laugh at the irony of it. 

 

 

[wildviolet]

Maybe I feel this way because I don't think there is a real division between when I'm online and when I'm not. I work most of the day on the computer and connected to others. When I go home, I am often on the computer -- it's where I get my entertainment.

 

Me, too... but sometimes I feel like the lack of sensory experiences make me feel like I'm less connected to the physical world. Does that make sense?

 

I don't really know or have actual contact with these people, so I don't have to deal with them if I don't want to. While logically I know that they are real people and may sympathize with them, I don't really think of them as real people, at least not in the same way as people I actually know.

 

Yes, I feel the same way.

 

In a weird way, courtesy of social media and blogs, I probably know more about their lives than I do about the person I share an office with on campus.

 

Yep, I agree with this, too.

 

The physical world is still the "ideal", the standard, the "norm" - even though most people DO have a facebook account and use it regularly or some other form of virtual interaction... The paradigm is shifting though I think... imagine what sociality will be 100 years from now! 

 

I know people who eschew Facebook but use Twitter or some other social media. But... I guess I hold the conception that the physical world is the real world, the norm, as you say. For example, I know someone who is an introvert--and she posts on Facebook multiple times a day. I guess it's her way of interacting with others without interacting with others, you know what I mean?

 

Anyway, thanks for sharing all your thoughts, y'all.

Edited January 31, 2013 by wildviolet

[katerific]

The internet is great. And it's certainly not what it used to be.

[Dal PhDer]

I'm a bit bias with my answer as my work focuses on our disconnection to our natural work which is the result of the substantial amount of screen time we have during our day....so....from my academic standpoint, I would say that virtual lives can be as significant and organic as our non-virtual lives...and in some cases, the relationships, interactions and experiences one has virtually are more 'real' than those they have in their non-virtual life. I think the most of us can no longer compartmentalize the two, as they overlap each other so much now.

 

On a personal level...I believe I am SOOOOOOOO much cooler, smarter, and hotter online than I am in the real world. 

[HigherEd2013]

I had never experienced the break between my "real" life and "virtual" life until I joined this forum. This has a lot to do with the anonymity factor. On the other online sites I use, everyone knows it's me. They know me from spending time with me in person, so the online sites are just an extension of who I am.

 

However, on this site, I'm careful never to give out too much identifying information. At the same time, I have no qualms about sharing what schools I applied to and my current (read: obsessive) thoughts on the matter-- information I rarely share with people in "real life." In real life, I would have had to deal with the consequences of people constantly asking if I got in, questioning the places I applied, etc. etc. So in some ways, I share more on this forum, but I also share less. I like having this site as part of my virtual life . It's been wonderful throughout this process.

[uromastyx]

in a metaphysical sense i'd say they have the capacity to be equally real, and thus also stand imbalanced, perhaps even speak to the fluidity of reality.

[wildviolet]

I'm a bit bias with my answer as my work focuses on our disconnection to our natural work which is the result of the substantial amount of screen time we have during our day....so....from my academic standpoint, I would say that virtual lives can be as significant and organic as our non-virtual lives...and in some cases, the relationships, interactions and experiences one has virtually are more 'real' than those they have in their non-virtual life. I think the most of us can no longer compartmentalize the two, as they overlap each other so much now.

 

On a personal level...I believe I am SOOOOOOOO much cooler, smarter, and hotter online than I am in the real world. 

 

I didn't know that! That is so awesome. Similarly, I'm starting a research project about sustainabiilty... today we are so disconnected from important things like where our food comes from and where our waste goes that people have a hard time understanding environmental issues. I would love to talk more with you about the theory behind this (maybe I'll PM you) because even though some virtual relationships may seem more real than non-virtual relationships, I think the distance and anonymity factors must somehow affect the aftermath of broken relationships. Yes?

 

I had never experienced the break between my "real" life and "virtual" life until I joined this forum. This has a lot to do with the anonymity factor. On the other online sites I use, everyone knows it's me. They know me from spending time with me in person, so the online sites are just an extension of who I am.

 

However, on this site, I'm careful never to give out too much identifying information. At the same time, I have no qualms about sharing what schools I applied to and my current (read: obsessive) thoughts on the matter-- information I rarely share with people in "real life." In real life, I would have had to deal with the consequences of people constantly asking if I got in, questioning the places I applied, etc. etc. So in some ways, I share more on this forum, but I also share less. I like having this site as part of my virtual life . It's been wonderful throughout this process.

 

Exactly!

 

in a metaphysical sense i'd say they have the capacity to be equally real, and thus also stand imbalanced, perhaps even speak to the fluidity of reality.

 

Hmmm... could you say more about what you mean by this?

[Dal PhDer]

I didn't know that! That is so awesome. Similarly, I'm starting a research project about sustainabiilty... today we are so disconnected from important things like where our food comes from and where our waste goes that people have a hard time understanding environmental issues. I would love to talk more with you about the theory behind this (maybe I'll PM you) because even though some virtual relationships may seem more real than non-virtual relationships, I think the distance and anonymity factors must somehow affect the aftermath of broken relationships. Yes?

 

Please do! My research is based in the biophilia hypothesis! And I totally agree about your comment on sustainability. Children today don't experience the natural world, and are more likely to have lower stewardship toward sustainable ventures. Therefore, we risk demolishing our natural environment!

 

I think children grow up in a virtual world. And it's much easier to make and break bonds that way. For instance, you can simply log off if your online friend is annoying you, but real life isn't like that! It would be interesting to see how relationships are formed/kept/broken in the next generation!

[wildviolet]

Please do! My research is based in the biophilia hypothesis! And I totally agree about your comment on sustainability. Children today don't experience the natural world, and are more likely to have lower stewardship toward sustainable ventures. Therefore, we risk demolishing our natural environment!

 

I think children grow up in a virtual world. And it's much easier to make and break bonds that way. For instance, you can simply log off if your online friend is annoying you, but real life isn't like that! It would be interesting to see how relationships are formed/kept/broken in the next generation!

 

Hmmm... just did a brief web search on biophilia. Are there any papers/books/authors in particular that I should look at first? What are the major journals? Is this evolutionary psychology/biology? Thanks!