I need serious help...I feel like this is no longer normal grad school anxiety?

[geitost]

Just a quick update....found out today that I got accepted into my top choice school. Thanks again everyone!

 

Congratulations!

 

And one more thing: there is no reason to be embarrassed or ashamed to admit you've had these thoughts. In fact, I think it's s sign of courage and some inner strength to admit them to yourself and to others, and to seek help. Whatever you decide to do with respect to graduate school, we wish you all the best.

[Vader Was Framed]

congrats!!

[sansao]

Congratulations!

[Linelei]

I just want to say that, after reading through this thread, I am overflowing with warm fuzzies for y'all out there. Sophiak is one of our own, and so many people offered support and wisdom. It makes me very happy that there are such wonderful people in our community willing to help someone in need.

 

Congrats on your acceptance, Sophiak! And also congrats on the courage to see a counselor. I don't think anyone should ever be ashamed for getting professional help - do we feel ashamed about going to a doctor when we have pneumonia? And yet it truly takes courage to take that step, so I applaud you for it!

[agej]

Just a quick update....found out today that I got accepted into my top choice school. Thanks again everyone!

 

So happy to hear this!! All the best Sophiak!

[St Andrews Lynx]

Just a quick update....found out today that I got accepted into my top choice school. Thanks again everyone!

I'm v. pleased to hear it.

Don't forget to take care of yourself mentally & physically while you're in grad school, because it can be rough. 

[geitost]

I don't think anyone should ever be ashamed for getting professional help - do we feel ashamed about going to a doctor when we have pneumonia?

 

That!!! Nobody would think twice about going to see a doctor (except maybe if they can't afford it) if they have any physical discomforts, but when it comes to mental health all too often we fear stigmatization. I wish our societies could change more rapidly than they do. Mental health issues are just as real and no more a sign of weakness than physical health problems are.

[GodelEscher]

Hi guys. This has been on my mind for a long time and it's been really really hard for me to share with anyone, so thanks for taking the time to listen.

 

I finished applying to graduate programs and have been waiting to hear back to see if I get admitted anywhere. And the longer I wait, the more and more hopeless I am starting to feel. I really don't think I'm going to get in anywhere. I don't think I'm good enough. I started to think of a plan B for what I'll do if I get rejected everywhere, and I realized...I don't want to have a plan B. Nothing else seems worth it. It seems like this is my whole life, my whole future, my only option. The more and more I thought of it, the more I came to the realization.... I think that if I don't get into school anywhere I want to kill myself. I've been thinking this for about a month now. I know it sounds ridiculous and irrational but it seems like it's the only option for me. I've lost a very close friend to suicide in the past, and I know how painful it is to lose someone like that. I've been through tough times before, but I never wanted to follow through with it because I didn't want to hurt the people I love. Right now it seems like that's the only thing holding me back if I don't get in. grad school is my only chance for a future. If I don't get in, there is nothing else for me here. I know it's messed up. But I can't stop thinking like this. I am so behind in my schoolwork because I am constantly worrying about grad school and can't get myself to focus on anything else in my life.

it seems like my only option left.

I don't know what to do.

 

(note -- this is not an I am actively going to hurt myself/I am a danger to myself right now/etc etc... I just want to make these thoughts go away. I'm not going to follow through with those thoughts. But I don't know how to stop thinking this way...it scares me.)

2nd rejection post interview...I have no more PhD interviews....let's go get a PhD in education. It only takes 2 years and then we can work in healthcare. Make all the drs call me Dr. and make fun of all those people who went to 5+ year programs...har har har I got my PhD in 2 years.... LOL

[ak48]

Congrats sophiak!

 

But thoughts of suicide over the possibility of a PhD rejection suggest that you take care of yourself mentally, and TELL SOMEBODY about it if such thoughts arise again in the future.

 

 

Good luck with the PHD!

[DropTheBase]

Just a quick update....found out today that I got accepted into my top choice school. Thanks again everyone!

 

Congrats! I really hope this doesn't detract you from seeing a counselor. The stress of succeeding in graduate school (and life afterwards) is much more difficult to handle than that of waiting for decisions. 

 

Good luck!