feeling demotivated.. because i have had to change my research topic

[memyselfandcoffee]

I spent most of last term developing a research plan for next 4 years and realised about 2 weeks that there was some research that had researched the same concepts, in a slightly different way-- so now im starting researching a new topic.

i have funding application deadline in exactly 4 weeks and i don't even know what i'm doing, i feel kind of depressed about it, very demotivated and can barely make myself work eventho i now have lots to do

the new area is interesting, but i think part of the problem is this research affects me personally, so that just adds to upsetness i feel,

so anyway, i just needed to rant,

also, i'm feeling like i haven't been working hard enough since i started this programme and that now i'm even worse and i feel like such a loser, which just demotivates me even further

i keep thinking if i worked harder i would have found out sooner i needed to change topic, or maybe even if i had been doing more general reading, i would have better idea where to go.

in terms of failures i applied for 3 competitions re presenting research, small grants ect and didn't get any of them-- mainly as far as i'm concerned through not putting in enough effort, and i feel like i just can't stop myself sliding down into a total rut and messing this one the most important one too.

Edited February 19, 2013 by elise123

[zapster]

First of all try to avoid thinking that your effort last term was wasted - even if your research topic is new, the experience itself, learning from the planning process, the process of generating ideas will all be extremely useful when you set out on your new research area. Most students at some point in time do face roadblocks in terms of research and have to find a new path - try to analyse your experience to assess what you can do better to ensure that this time round you are actually ahead of the curve.

 

Sometimes, putting things in perspective can help motivate you - imagine if you had gone ahead with your old agenda and realised this after two years rather than now.

 

Take a day (or a few if you can afford them) off from your research work - mentally at least - and when you come back draw up an ambitious target schedule and ensure you hit it with a vengeance - nothing motivates more than seeing the 'ticks' pile up against your to do list!

 

Try to split your time between reading and generating ideas / building an inventory of writing for your research - even if most of writing from this stage never makes it to the final draft, it will be well worth the effort.

 

Best of luck !

[Tall Chai Latte]

Abandoning projects is normal over the course of one's research life, even if the projects themselves are well-planned and thought out to begin with -- you might still hit surprised road blocks and dismantle your work. Take all this as a learning experience, how to design a project, alternative approaches/hypothesis etc, as well as how to recuperate and start fresh again. These are very valuable in the long run. But right now, just relax some!

[Eigen]

I think the project that finally "hit" for me was #3, or maybe #4.

 

The first one, I spent 6 months designing, and another few months ramping up the initial synthetic portion.... And then I found that the major literature I was basing my work off of had published a retraction a few months ago, but instead of in a major journal, they published in a very minor one that few people read. So I scrapped it.

 

My next project I worked on for a few months following the initial steps, and hit a brick wall. I just couldn't get a particular step to turn out, no matter what I tried. We finally decided that it wasn't worth it to pursue it further, and I switched topics almost entirely to a biological project, that took me the better part of a year to get caught up on literature wise.

 

It definitely happens, but none of the time is wasted- it's exposure to literature, techniques, problem solving, etc. All of which are valuable long-term!

[juilletmercredi]

Are you sure you have to completely change topics?  It looks like you're in psychology, which is my field.  My work isn't completely new; it a lot of ways it's an extension of previous work that's done, but it takes that work in new directions.  Are you sure that you can't still work on your original research plan but just change it enough so that it goes in new areas?  No one expects doctoral students to completely revolutionize the field or even to do a dissertation on a completely original area of inquiry.  We don't yet have the chops to do that.  Most researchers carve out a little chunk of the field and tend to that.

 

You're always going to feel like you could be working harder.  Even people who work 80 hours a week feel like they could be doing more or working harder.  It's because that's the nature of academic work.  It's never finished; there's always something else that you can do.  Once you're done with a paper, you can always write another one, or another grant, or work on your syllabus or teaching, or go to a conference or that seminar or…something.  The key is to know your limits and set boundaries for yourself that you stick to.  Everyone needs a personal life!  If you truly need to work harder, organize your time and put yourself on a schedule.  See a counselor or someone in the academic success/graduate advisor office if you need help setting a schedule and sticking to it.  But first assess whether you really need to work harder or whether you're just beating yourself up because you're upset.

 

Also, failure is part of being an academic.  It's a competitive world.  Grants often have very low acceptance rates.  My advisor, an asst. prof at a top university, had to submit a paper about 5 or 6 different times before he got it in somewhere.  We have to let our "failures" roll off our backs, take the feedback offered and keep it moving.  It doesn't say anything about you and your quality as a scholar (unless you go for years and years and you never get anything).  It's just the nature of the field.

[memyselfandcoffee]

well thanks for all the very helpful replies, i realise on hearing about eigens research adventures that i'm being unrealistic expected everything to just pan out so simply- if it wasn't for the looming funding deadline i wouldn't be so concerned, though.

as always julliet mercredi's advice has given me alot of food for thought, I thik i need work harder, but also I need to stop beeting myself up for taking time off when i do, as that only demotivates me further. I am feeling a little all over the place though, so i do need to start structuring my time, and to that end i am going to make a very productive start ( I'm being sarcastic!) by creating a thread on time organisation!