Ratinality, frastration and love

[ztyrobert]

So, we all worried about being rejected by schools, so am I. This is my second application cycle for PhD in Finance. I got very strong application, but was rejected by all 13 schools I applied for the first round. I was devastated. However, my ex-girlfriend gave me much strength and I applied right after for some master's program, luckly I got in one with some scholarship.
However, that is only the start of another journey. It did not take long for my professor to realize my academic ability, and he advised me to apply for PhD. I did not tell anyone my intent, so this was very exciting. He offered to write me letter, so he did when I actually applied. I applied for 11 schools this years, and so far I have received six rejections.
Statistically, it is quite common. Very very few people got accepted in Finance PhD program, and applicants are many. When I was rejected by one Ivy League school, I immediately replied for feedback. The director replied. He said he reviewed my application, and he really could not pick anything bad. He thinks that I will be accepted in some program, and he invited me to be their junior faculty member in five years. Very comforting, but his opinion may also well be just some comforting words. Nevertheless, I felt better.
Professors at my master's program keeps cheering me, which is nice, but I keep up reliving the honorable experience I had during my first application cycle. It keeps me sleepless, regardless how tired I am at night. So, I decided to take a trip to Boston, where I visited some friends, and a school I applied. I just drove home from Boston. It was 10 hours long drive, but I still cannot sleep. It is still frustrating.

This is actually is the most frustrating part. We all know, particularly for those who studied Econ or Finance, we have to make rational decision. We have to prepare for the worst, and hope for the best. Besides, live goes on even if application fails. We still have family, career, love and others. But, it is just this tremendous uncertainty, this protracted uncertainty that drives us crazy, like a cheesy relationship. We have told schools that we love them, and we are always going to be vulnerable to rejections.
I have been thinking why I have been so obsessed. It may not be the school that really concerns me, but this love relationship. I want to be accepted after so much investment. I hate to be rejected. It really has nothing to do with my purpose of life any more. It is just feeling. Our most raw, honest feeling.
Maybe it is time to start a new love.

 

[biotechie]

You are very lucky. You have a beautiful way of expressing yourself. It is rare that I've seen someone in your field with the ability to put these feelings into words as you have done. Most of us have felt that hopelessness and desire as well, but have been unable to express it. If you got an ounce of the feeling that you express in this post into your statement of purpose for your applications, I have great confidence in you.

 

Any company would be lucky to have you; with skills in finance as well as the skills to express yourself so, you must also have the skills to emphasize with others, and this is so very important in your field. I wish you the best of luck; you can go so far!

[Rumcajs]

Aside from the spelling errors in the first two words of the title of the post you are spot on    

 

What most of the Universities do is fail to see the potential in any of us. Like in sports it is a game of inches.

[acquablu]

I agree with biotechie.  This post has a way of putting into words what many of us are feeling right now but can't quite get across to our relatives and friends.  I have been placed on 4 wait lists and each day is excruciatingly drawn out, regardless of how much I discuss the situation with my advisor and parents.  What keeps running through my mind is the fact that I'm good, but not quite good enough, because in essence, the wait list carries a message.

 

The one thought that consoles me at this point is the fact that these schools would have been lucky to have me, because I'm entering a second field of study and I have proven my academic ability.  There was nothing else I could do to strengthen my application other than accumulating more research time, which was simply a matter of having more time in the field.  We must remember that it takes a special kind of person just to be able to bear this whole process of applying, interviewing, and waiting; I never thought it would be this exacting and tedious.

 

By no means am I a religious person, but I believe in destiny.  I think it's important to maintain a wider view of life outside of these applications and keep things in perspective.

 

Ok, that was my two cents.

 

 

 

 

 

[Sheraff]

This sums up exactly how I feel!

Except that in my case, I only applied to a single place, I personally know the students and the POI, and everyone who read my application told me it was very strong. This makes it so personal! But in the end, it's already 3/17 and I haven't heard anything.

 

Based on Grad Café's results, there are already more students accepted this year than last year... Not a good sign!

[NanoTech]

"However, my ex-girlfriend gave me much strength and... "

so your girl friend left you because you didn't get in any phd program then she encouraged you?

 

well life goes on... so good luck.

[selecttext]

I hope you had someone edit your SOP...

[echlori]

Well put. I hope your relationships didn't turn up as casualties in the application process.