acquablu

Congratulations! Good luck with your decision.

Ok, sorry, I tried to highlight the second part of your post ("I'm also struggling with the whole 'second best' thing.") but apparently I posted the whole thing. What I wanted to chime in about this was that I too struggled with this feeling for over a month while being waitlisted at 4 schools. Of course my confidence took a shot and I wasn't shy about telling my boss, relatives, and friends that I was seriously beginning to doubt my abilities. However, when I thought back at my non-traditional route to this point (my PhD will be in a field completely different from my first Bachelor's degree), I commended myself for having even gotten this far. The most striking thing about this whole process is how arbitrary it can be at times. Luckily I had people who were more than open in describing their experiences, so I knew it wasn't only happening to me. The way I see it, just to get an interview is an honor because so many factors beyond our control can influence how the chips fall. As much as people want to think everything is cut and dry, it is simply not that way. Just my two cents. Nobody on here should doubt themselves because it takes a lot of commitment and hard work just to apply, never mind interviewing and waiting patiently.

Thank you so much! Good luck with everything, I hope you get what you want!

Hey guys, I just wanted to chime in that I also received an acceptance in the past few days. Do not give up hope. I know it is easy to say and I've been suffering for the past 3 weeks but it was all totally worth it. I wish you all the best!

Bluesea, I think it depends on each program and its way of handling the application process. I do think it's starting to get late in the game but there are plenty of results still coming in.

I don't get these all of the time but once in a while: "You want to go to school for another 5 years??? And what will you do when you get out? I know people who are making a lot of money and they didn't even finish college." Yes, I know, but I'm not doing this solely for money. "You got plenty of interviews, you will have your choice of where to go." I wish that was the case.

Hey Dingbatty, I don't think being number 4 is necessarily a bad position on the list. In my opinion, it all depends on how interested people are in the program. I would think that being 4 on the waitlist for a top 15 program is a worse situation than for a program that's up and coming because the people given offers to a more prestigious program are more likely to accept them, unless of course they have comparable offers across the board. I'm in a rough spot right now myself, hence my continuous reading of this site. I'm currently the alternate at my top choice school and the priority person has not made a decision either way yet (as far as I know), even though he/she has numerous offers to consider. I do have another offer myself but I would much much rather go to the school I'm waiting for, as it has everything I'm looking for in a program. Each day now is excruciatingly long, especially with the holiday coming up. When you have something this important constantly in the back of your mind, it's difficult to even concentrate. And of course, everyone around you wants to know if you have heard anything.

Sorry to hear that Amerz. I agree that it was very thoughtful of him to do a phone call. Good luck deciding among your other offers.

Amerz, I completely understand what this is like. At a few schools I interviewed in person, only to hear nothing afterwards until I contacted the POI's myself. It turns out I was waitlisted at all of those schools however silence is not always an indicator of the decision. Recently, I found out from yet another school that I am very much in the running for a spot and extremely close to a formal offer (no other school gave me hope). For my part, I did email the department a couple of times to express my interest and tell them about other offers I have. If you initiated contact, that shows them that the school is important to you. The point of all of this is that it isn't over until it's over, if that helps you. I hope the call brings good news and congratulations on your other acceptances!!! I definitely agree that they don't usually call to send rejection news. Most schools like to wimp out and send vague emails or letters. In fact, yesterday I received a rejection letter from a school that I turned down; of course, they had to make it seem like they were the ones with the power. I thought that was kind of funny.

I'm glad I found this thread. I'm currently on 4 wait lists and waiting on whether or not I'm on a 5th one, which is absolutely killing me. Last week I was told I was still being considered (some offers were still open) so I thought over a final appeal to make to the school and finally sent it over the weekend. I haven't heard anything either way since.

I agree with biotechie. This post has a way of putting into words what many of us are feeling right now but can't quite get across to our relatives and friends. I have been placed on 4 wait lists and each day is excruciatingly drawn out, regardless of how much I discuss the situation with my advisor and parents. What keeps running through my mind is the fact that I'm good, but not quite good enough, because in essence, the wait list carries a message. The one thought that consoles me at this point is the fact that these schools would have been lucky to have me, because I'm entering a second field of study and I have proven my academic ability. There was nothing else I could do to strengthen my application other than accumulating more research time, which was simply a matter of having more time in the field. We must remember that it takes a special kind of person just to be able to bear this whole process of applying, interviewing, and waiting; I never thought it would be this exacting and tedious. By no means am I a religious person, but I believe in destiny. I think it's important to maintain a wider view of life outside of these applications and keep things in perspective. Ok, that was my two cents.

Bigcat, I'm feeling your frustration right now. So far, I have been wait listed at 4 schools out of the 6 I interviewed with. And 3 of the advisors did not inform me of my status until I contacted them first after hearing silence for at least a couple of weeks. At the very least, they should have the decency to send us a quick note to say, "I'm sorry, but our priority offer was given out already. You are on the wait list" or something to that effect. I think the results off the wait list will vary from school to school. I can only tell you the advice that my boss has handed to me, which is that it is still possible to get an offer at some point in the next couple of months. However, I am keeping in mind that since I'm not sure where I am on those lists, it is likely a long shot for me to expect news from more than one of these schools. Good luck with everything, you are certainly not alone.