Why is this so tense?

[jaspers]

I admit this isn't the first time I have applied to grad school. First time was to 8 schools, that were all rejections, thankfully they mailed or sent an email quicker than this. With this recent round of applications, I really applied to 1 school and have not heard back yet. I know why did I apply to 1 school? Well cause I know the program I want to get into and honestly I don't have a ton of money like the $800 (first round). So I emailed the program director about my status. Not really upbeat, I sort of plan it being a no. So I think I will simply complete my back up plans and move on. Who else is going with back plans and what are they? :/

[WishfulThinker]

I applied only to a couple of places. Already got rejected from one, and another rejection is imminent from the other school, they just wait until April to send all the bad news. To be honest, I was so confident that I was gonna get in that I didn't care much about my backup plan, and now, here I am, with no acceptances in late March.

 

My backup plan now is to get a job and pretend that nothing happened. I'm not even sure if I'll apply again next year, I'd love to but this whole process requires too much time and money, and I'm not sure if I'll have that once I begin working. :/

[Regenerative Christine]

The thing that is difficult is ultimately just going on with your life and trying to stay focused in the present- it really does seem like a waste at this point to look for full time work (I'm only working part time) when in reality there is a chance that I might be moving away in 6 months. 

 

Sometimes it literally feels as though we are putting our lives on hold, despite trying to stay focused on other "distractions." Although I've applied to 5 schools, I only really want to go to 1 and don't really want to have to force myself to fall in love with another program just for the sake of being in graduate school. 

 

This waiting has definitely been taking a toll on my mental health, that's for sure  

[tie]

My backup plan now is to get a job and pretend that nothing happened.

This is my backup plan as well!

[Kayla123]

I'm dying.  Heard back from 2 schools, but they were my safety schools and I'm still waiting on 5.  Haven't been rejected yet, thank goodness, but it'll come from 2 of the schools I think. 

 

I only really care about 3, and those are the 3 I'm not sure of.  I check my email every 5 minutes.  This is killing me.

[Reki]

I only applied to two schools this round. I got rejected from one and am assuming rejection from the other. My back plan: to look for work (anywhere) and try to make my application stronger for next year. I'm planning to apply to more schools next year, in the hopes that I get in somewhere.

[jaspers]

My back plan: to look for work (anywhere) and try to make my application stronger for next year. I'm planning to apply to more schools next year, in the hopes that I get in somewhere.

That is really what I did after the first round., I guess I took an obligatory break from school. Which is good, I admit I wasted a year camping (no really). Now I am ready for school. Anyways I was thinking if I applied to a few schools the effort would show in my preparation and writing. Still haven't heard anything, I even called the program manager, still no answer. I won't be a thorn but I really would like any word.

[Reki]

Good Luck Jaspers!

[Dark-Helmed]

Sometimes it literally feels as though we are putting our lives on hold, despite trying to stay focused on other "distractions." 

 

Exactly this!

 

I keep putting off starting projects/making big plans because I don't yet know what the shape of my next 5-7 years will look like.  Plus, compulsively checking my email and TheGradCafe for two months has left me with a shattered attention span.

[sansao]

Exactly this!   I keep putting off starting projects/making big plans because I don't yet know what the shape of my next 5-7 years will look like.  Plus, compulsively checking my email and TheGradCafe for two months has left me with a shattered attention span.

And possibly carpal tunnel, lol.

[Dark-Helmed]

And possibly carpal tunnel, lol.

 

That too.  I feel like I need to ship myself off to some sort of monastery in the woods for a few weeks. Relax, look at trees, no tabbing over to TGC...

[ShiningInShadows]

I applied to three schools. I know, that probably sounds like I'm under-applying, but I've been working professionally for almost 5 years with a MA and I've already specialized it down pretty tightly so that limits my relevent POIs. Two have unofficially rejected me, and my last one (and top choice at that) was suppose to meet to make decisions last Friday. I work from home on Fridays so needless to say I got little done and I'm not feeling very productive in my office today. It's like every tick of the clock is cartoonishly loud.

 

I take comfort in the fact I still have my current well paying job if this doesn't work out.

[lindse]

I applied to three schools. I know, that probably sounds like I'm under-applying, but I've been working professionally for almost 5 years with a MA and I've already specialized it down pretty tightly so that limits my relevent POIs. Two have unofficially rejected me, and my last one (and top choice at that) was suppose to meet to make decisions last Friday. I work from home on Fridays so needless to say I got little done and I'm not feeling very productive in my office today. It's like every tick of the clock is cartoonishly loud.

 

I take comfort in the fact I still have my current well paying job if this doesn't work out.

 

I've also been working professionally for 7 years. I only applied to one program, partially because it is a very unique program that would be a good fit for someone with my [somewhat non-traditional for academia] background and partially because the location is right for where I need to live for the next few years. So under-applying, maybe, but I am looking at it more as "I know what I want".

 

I just heard back that I *will* hear a decision by the end of the week. It's good to know a date by which my life will no longer have to be on hold. And if it doesn't work out I'm not sure what my path will be, so the tension is definitely building.

[ShiningInShadows]

I've also been working professionally for 7 years. I only applied to one program, partially because it is a very unique program that would be a good fit for someone with my [somewhat non-traditional for academia] background and partially because the location is right for where I need to live for the next few years. So under-applying, maybe, but I am looking at it more as "I know what I want".

 

I just heard back that I *will* hear a decision by the end of the week. It's good to know a date by which my life will no longer have to be on hold. And if it doesn't work out I'm not sure what my path will be, so the tension is definitely building.

 

I can't even begin to imagine what applying to one school would feel like! My #3 was only a safety pick as it didn't really fit me all that well.

 

On a side note, where do you feel you fall on the "value of experience" vs "being away from academia" continuum, as in what are they going to pay more attention to? I know in practice in my field experience is highly valued but I'm always fearful of how academia and practice don't always line up.

[rool37]

I've been feeling the stress of applying for quite some time now, but I feel like this past week has been the most stressful.

 

I was rejected from one of my schools that I was pretty confident that I was going to get into. The Adcom chairman and my POI told me that I should have no problem getting into the program, but here I am.

 

I have 3 schools left to hear from, but right now I'm not feeling so confident. I'm trying to figure out a backup plan, but a little voice inside keeps telling me to not give up on the other 3 schools. I just wish that they would let us know already. 

[Emdave]

I'm so tense that my breath catches and my heart starts beating fast every time my phone buzzes (indicating a new email). The problem with this is that, when I'm in my room, I can hear the same type of phone buzz from next door, which means I'm getting double the number of false alarms.

 

Be still my heart.

[child of 2]

I'm starting to develop OCD, like a lot of you already have.

[scampb16]

yeah i agree. before apply i checked my email, once maybe twice a day. now its probably more like 50 times a day. at this point i have one school i am considering going to, and still haven't heard back. am starting to get really worried. and it doesn't help that i got an email about applying for graduate housing 'just in case' i end up getting in. of all the cruel things. just tell me already and be done with it, don't string me along with false hope and excitement of moving to the city.

[sansao]

I'm at the airport getting ready to fly out for my long-awaited final interview as I type this. Talk about tense and anxious... I have acceptances in the bag, so to speak, so one would think this would have a calming effect. Apparently not.

[arenduch]

I applied to grad school once before.. but did not really care much (got a decent job) but now i really want to get into a good school. I have been rejected from 3, admited to 1 with funding, and one with no funding, and waitlisted to 3 more!

 

The waitlists are a killer, I emailed profs and talked to some of them.. they seem very nice and encouraging but at the end of the day it all depends on the other students who have not responded to their offers. I'm going crazy!!

[JungWild&Free]

I applied before and didn't get into any of the 12 schools I applied to.  12.  I was pretty discouraged about it, but I got a job as a lab manager and worked on my CV.  This year I got 2 offers with full-funding, and interest from a lot of programs.  One thing that I didn't consider until I had been rejected from all my schools the first time, is that a lot of the reasons I didn't get in were probably my fault.  I didn't contact professors to see if they were taking anyone, I didn't do good enough research about school fit and I focused my SOP too much on past accomplishments.  Looking at my applications with a critical eye helped me improve my chances a lot and also helped me put my "failure" in perspective.  I realized that I had put myself at a disadvantage, not that I was "sub-par" compared to others.  Being overly self-aware makes me less tense, not sure if it works for everyone Just know that it's not the end of the world, or really a reflection of your potential, if you don't get in this time.  You'll make it happen eventually!

[sansao]

4 flights, 5 interviews, 4600 miles, and I am accepted. I'm exhausted, it's unofficial, and I don't know all the funding details, but I'm really excited for this one.

No more tension for a bit.

Edited April 4, 2013 by sansao

[Dark-Helmed]

4 flights, 5 interviews, 4600 miles, and I am accepted. I'm exhausted, it's unofficial, and I don't know all the funding details, but I'm really excited for this one.

No more tension for a bit.

 

Congratulations, Sansao! Enjoy the release of emotional pressure...

[MikKar]

Basically the absence of knowledge and inability to control the proceedings leads to anxiety. When I had applied for graduate study last fall, I was a nervous wreck the whole time, especially around February. And then I would receive the "We regret to inform you" email the one day I somehow forgot to check my email. Those days I wanted to smash the university to pieces and set off nukes, though I also realized my application needed more time to mature it's probably what killed me.

 

I applied before and didn't get into any of the 12 schools I applied to.  12.  I was pretty discouraged about it, but I got a job as a lab manager and worked on my CV.  This year I got 2 offers with full-funding, and interest from a lot of programs.  One thing that I didn't consider until I had been rejected from all my schools the first time, is that a lot of the reasons I didn't get in were probably my fault.  I didn't contact professors to see if they were taking anyone, I didn't do good enough research about school fit and I focused my SOP too much on past accomplishments.  Looking at my applications with a critical eye helped me improve my chances a lot and also helped me put my "failure" in perspective.  I realized that I had put myself at a disadvantage, not that I was "sub-par" compared to others.  Being overly self-aware makes me less tense, not sure if it works for everyone Just know that it's not the end of the world, or really a reflection of your potential, if you don't get in this time.  You'll make it happen eventually!

 

Actually : it's not even guaranteed whether professors will even read your email before you apply. They're overwhelmed with emails generally so unless you built a Death Star yourself or he/she knows you personally, there's really not much you can do. Except maybe cross your fingers but that doesn't generally help. It never worked for me.

[vccanada]

Exactly this!

 

I keep putting off starting projects/making big plans because I don't yet know what the shape of my next 5-7 years will look like.  Plus, compulsively checking my email and TheGradCafe for two months has left me with a shattered attention span.

 

I hear that! Waiting to decide if I'll be moving to a different country with my life-in boyfriend. I applied to the Courtauld in London, and he's already accepted his offer to LSE. What's taking so long!?